Become an Insider

THR Pain in hip after nine years.

@LoyalD @Me2 How nice of you to check up on me. I am hanging in there. I think I've recovered from my fall in Amsterdam. That was scary. Things are getting better physically. I am having less thigh pain, but still have the icky feeling and noise in my new hip joint of the ball hitting the cup with almost every step (my OS called it "shucking") It is not painful, but is uncomfortable and disconcerting and I don't like walking because of it. I still find it difficult to walk for more than 20 minutes at a time. I am back at the gym working on toning my glutes and adductors to see if that helps to tighten things up in there and stop the weird movement in the joint. I sometimes think it might come out of the socket. I have an appt. next month to discuss my concerns with my OS.
Emotionally, I am a wreck. I am having lots of headaches. I am so exhausted all the time. I struggle to stay optimistic. I cry a lot and really regret having this surgery. I keep hoping it will get better. I am much worse off than I was before surgery. After almost 5 months, I was not expecting to still be dealing with pain and this limited mobility. I am considering talking to my GP about these depressed feelings I am having. My future feels bleak right now. I wish I had a better update. I don't come on this site too much anymore. I am so tired of thinking about my hip. And now my right one is giving me grief.
LoyalD, I hope you feel better soon. I'm sure you will. You are still very early days. It does get better as time goes on. Don't take my experience as normal. I will keep you in my prayers!
Sheryl, I read you were thinking about the other hip. I understand your hesitation, too, but it is probably what you need to do. I get the mental part, too. I do want the best for you!
 
I am almost at the nine week point. I still feel very, very frail. I went in super fit and came out twenty years older. That is how I describe it. At this point it is tenty five percent physical and seventy five percent mental. We are both a lot stronger than we think!
 
Debbie - stop considering talking to you GP and go! Or better yet, if you can, go to a therapist or psychiatrist -- when I was really having the crazy thoughts, I ended up going. Of course, they prescribed drugs which I decided not to take (by the time I got appointment, the really dark dark crazy thoughts were going away), but just talking to someone really helped ALOT. You have every reason to be depressed, but that does not mean you should be. As good as my physical recovery was, the mental part was the scariest and so so hard. The pain you are having does make you feel bad; but the feeling bad does make the pain so much worse. I'm going back this week to start to try to deal with doing surgery again. (And I don't even believe in shrinks!) Like you, I am so tired of thinking about my hips. I know my husband is very tired of hearing me talk about it.

I don't know if I have it in me to "do" the surgery, but I don't want to get as physically limited as I was. I am so so so so so so tired of living based on how my hips feels. I am so so so so so so tired of thinking about my hip. I have to compare Wow - my left hip feels so great, so smooth, don't have to think about it, don't have to plan my life around it - and I don't, I think it would be forgotten if not for the comparison. Days like today, when I didn't really have any pain, but I was still exhausted at 6:00 in the evening of a "day of rest" and light housework" because of the dull persistent ache. I DON"T want even that anymore. But your story does quite frankly scare me. What if I am three, four, five months out and in more pain? What if I have the mental part on top of being five months out and in more pain? I had to take the chance on getting the surgery last time. I could wait and see this time. I'm working hard to get to where now is right for me.

Debbie - I want the best for you, too, my friend. Find a good therapist to help you deal with the mental side -- it will make it so much easier to deal with the physical side.
 
@Me2 Of course, you are right. I need to see someone. I am wondering if these headaches and feeling bad and being so tired all the time are a result of my mental state or if something is really physically wrong with me (perhaps caused by my hip implant?) I was thinking this morning that a few months after my daughter died, I was feeling this same way, thinking I had something wrong with me. I guess it is a kind of grief. I am grieving for my lost hip. Does that sound stupid? I am like you (not believing in shrinks). I feel like I should be able to handle this on my own. I also feel guilty because I feel like my faith in God should be enough. Geeze. I've been praying, reading self help books, meditating, everything I can think of to put myself in a more positive state. But, it's just not working. Then I think about people dealing with cancer or lost limbs or other devastating diseases and I know I should be grateful. And I am. I have so many good things in my life, but I'm in a dark hole right now. Anyway, I will call my GP tomorrow and start there. It does help to have this forum to vent my fears and frustrations, although I hesitate to write too much. I don't want to be Debbie Downer and I certainly don't want to scare you or anyone else. You know that most people have very positive outcomes and are so happy afterwards! This is just my journey. I am actually surprised that I am feeling this way. I really don't even recognize myself lately. I will get through this!
 
Hi Debbie@Dmcfad2, I had been thinking of you hoping things had improved and you were off out and about. I think @lovetowalk hit the nail on the head by saying 75% of this is mental. Whilst I don't feel worse off than before the surgery I don't think I'm much better. I have thought about the need for therapeutic support to process the negative thoughts. I think no more than you mentioned by rights we should have perspective...There are worse things but this is where things are now.

As I said somewhere else it never entered my head that at 11 weeks out I wouldn't feel great, be moving about freely and ready to go back to work. I was terrified the OS would say we need to do the left one soon....I think I would have cried! So to be honest I have struggled emotionally very much throughout this process so I get that sense of not recognising ones self. I want my sparkle back...when I think of myself two years ago I was in such a different place and I want to get back there.

I hope you get to your GP and have a discussion on options. I may even think about taking my own advice!
 
I have found the mental exhaustion of this recovery harder than the actual pain Debbie @Dmcdad2. Every little feeling, every different pain has thrown me into a mini panic. Coming on BS 8 weeks post op helped but I eventually went to my GP in February who gave me some diazepam......I took one 2mg at night for 3 days and it cleared my panic and let me see that I was progressing. I've stumbled again but found that doing same regime stops me spiralling into that awful black tunnel. I had this problem after suffering from a Pulmonary Embolism some years ago.....I could not shake off some awful dark panics......my GP addressed it then, but I suffered needlessly for some months before seeking help.
Please..please go to your doctor........I'm sure that by the time you are a year post op a lot of these pains will have sorted out but the depressive feelings need to be addressed now. You need to get on with your life...you need to be enjoying your life now..please let us know how you get on. Take care...Chrissie xx


Sent from my iPad using BoneSmart®
 
Dmcfad2 said:
I guess it is a kind of grief. I am grieving for my lost hip.
Click to expand...
Debbie, to me especially, it does not sound stupid! However, consider that you may not be grieving for your lost hip but your "lost way of life." You have said you are worse off than before, you are not where you imagined yourself to be at this point. Do you miss your physical hip or the way of life you still had with it? SO, do you need to acknowledge that had you not chosen to have the surgery when you did, would you still be the same as you were then? How fast would your progression down this path have been anyway? You've mentioned that you did not have the severe pain and limitations that many on BoneSmart have. But, how long until you did?

Dmcfad2 said:
I hesitate to write too much. I don't want to be Debbie Downer and I certainly don't want to scare you or anyone else.
Click to expand...

For me, I am scared of doing this hip "too soon" -- your thread, your posts are just helping me to think thru where I am, where I might be with or without surgery? The decision-making is a process - it is where I am with this right hip of mine. With my left hip, I don't remember the pain so much though I do remember nights crying about it. I much more vividly remember not being able to walk across a room, get up from a meal in a restaurant, sit on the floor and hold my kiddos, dance, jump and run with them, ride my horse, have decent sex, get in and out of a car, etc, etc. The physical therapy, chiropractor, and injections had taken away most of the my pain before surgery but I still could not walk without a Quasimodo limp (as Claire called it). I lost three years my life by avoiding and simply not being able to do. I spent every holiday last year on the floor exhausted by 4:00 or 5:00. I was on the couch yesterday exhausted from the right hip ache at 6:30 from a day of light housekeeping activities. I avoided a horseback ride, an amusement park, a walk with hubby, and the gym. I am just not sure what scares me more:
  • doing hip too soon
  • having the terrifying crazies again, or
  • having the awful ache, pain, and debilitation.
I am 55 now--I refused to even acknowledge my birthday last year. I got extremely angry with those wanting to celebrate. I will never ever get back 51, 52, 53, 54!!! Those YEARS of my life are GONE. Both of my hips were diagnosed in 2009 at the same time with left hip being slightly more advanced than right. BUT I have lost 50+ pounds this year, I have worked out almost every day for 2 years. Could my right hip last another couple of years? Hell, yea. :unsure: Well, maybe, maybe not? :shrug: And then I would be 58, 60, 62. Would I be "readier" then? :what: After how many missed holidays, not dancing at my son's weddings, not going to events. And then I would have to recover all over again anyway. :cry: Another two years for "FULL" recovery, full bone growth, full energy level back, etc. Then I have to hope I still have this great health insurance, this great doctor, this great hospital, etc. etc., again. What if, what if, what if, what if, it never ends :scare:

You say your hip could have lasted a while yet. How do either of us know that? Look at the number of people who post a much quicker progression from first pain to debilitation and severe pain. We are lucky to have this forum where we can get such a view of other people's lives. When my sister's son was born blind, I read an interesting comparison. Just imagine yourself going on a trip to Paris and your plane lands in Holland. You resent not landing in Paris so much that you fail to see the beauty of Ireland. Well, my friend, it seems as though you missed Paris and now find yourself in Pittsburgh - I can tell you its a beautiful city!

I don't know for sure what I'm going to do. I need you to keep on posting in your usual honest fashion -- Downer Debbie, Daffy Debbie, Diligent Debbie, or Dynamite Debbie -- we're all here for each other. :console2:
 
Debbie what you say really resonates with me. I definitely feel loss and grief, not for my hip, but for youth and strength. Tomorrow will be nine weeks. I expect to feel some pain and discomfort for quite some time to come. Knowing that I am not alone in these feelings really helps and I hope it helps you, too. Right now I am at a camp in NH with 250 high school cross country runners. They are so strong and I remember that stage of my life with great nostalgia. What I notice now is that last year when here I could not walk without sharp pain. Today I can. So....I am making a gentle plan for how to get stronger mentally and physically. The key word here is gentle. We can be so hard on ourselves. There is nothing wrong in talking to your GP and certainly nothing wrong in medication if you decide that. The truth is that the surgeon doesn't understand what you are thinking and feeling. Slowly and carefully we are going forward to a different life. We have to take the steps to make it a good one. My plan includes good food, good rest, being with the people I love, careful walks, stretches, and getting back on my bike as my confidence improves.

For people who need a replacement all I can say is you will know. I went to the beach on my 62nd birthday and couldn't walk on the sand. That was when the decision was made. I would drive by a grocery store without picking up a needed item. Finally, I knew that I was getting really messed up bio mechanically. So now I am made of titanium and Tupperware and I am beginning to believe that it is going to turn out o.k.not perfect, but o.k. You will, too. I hope that I am privileged to live a long life. I won't be able to control how old I get, but I can have a lot to do with how I am old. Everything you say makes sense to me. Be well.
 
@lovetowalk Titanium and Tupperware! Love that!!

@Dmcfad2 Debbie, I feel for you and what you are going through.
Depression is awful. I suffered that about 20 years ago, and went on Prozac. It turned things around, and
I was able to discontinue taking it. Don't feel bad about going to the doctor and discussing how you feel.
@Me2 You have a lot on your plate to ponder, for sure. It is funny how we are all different in our thinking about things. For me, I will need the other hip done. If it happened in 2014 it would be free; next year its big bucks again. Geeez.
@Hoppy Nanny I still have stiffness upon standing, but I have hope that like you- it will go away eventually.
 
It will @MajorHeidi.....it will. It just seems to go on forever...but one day you get up and realise it's gone! Hang on! X


Sent from my iPad using BoneSmart®
 
@NoraJ Yes, I want my sparkle back. That is a great, descriptive way to put it. I have definitely lost my sparkle. Chronic pain is so wearing on one's psyche.
@lovetowalk @Me2 @Hoppy Nanny @MajorHeidi Yes, I am grieving for my lost way of life, not my lost hip, although I do miss my real hip and I grieve because I was the one who did this to myself by making this decision for surgery! This weird clicking/clunking In the joint that I am having is so unsettling. I just can't seem to get used to it and all the exercises I am doing to tone my muscles aren't making any difference....yet. I am still hoping. I still feel that my implant is not right, though. I will ask about it again next month at my appointment, but may go for another opinion. This also makes me sad, because If there is a loosening or misalignment, I know there won't be anything that can be done for that except a revision. I have several friends with hip replacements and they have not experienced this problem in there recovery. I can actually deal better with the pain than this weird, unnatural feeling in my hip. And then there are the headaches and loss of energy and weird heart palpitations. LOL! I'm a mess!
Oh, man, I am so tired of complaining and sounding like some whiny child. I need to snap out of it and get on with it. I haven't called my doctor yet. I am still thinking about it. I haven't had a crying jag for a few days and I really don't want medication. I feel like I can get through it on my own sometimes. Then, something like Robin Williams death makes me scared of depression. But, my blues aren't to that point by any means. I am just bummed out. I have felt better emotionally for the last two days. It comes and goes. I keep telling myself to hang in there. But, I do miss feeling happy. When you took medication for only a few days, was that really enough to change your whole perspective? I have read it can take weeks to help.
Sheryl, I would caution against doing another surgery before you are ready. Lovetowalk mentioned how she knew it was time when she would pass up the store to get something or not be able to walk on the beach. The difference for me is that I COULD do that before surgery. Now is when I'm passing up stores and not walking as much. That is how my surgery has made me worse. At least at this moment. I do wish that I had waited until I was having debillatating pain before I had this surgery. My right hip is bothering me a lot now, similar to what my left was doing before surgery; it is actually a little worse. But, I plan on waiting until I just can't take it anymore before I decide on another surgery.
Thanks to all for your words and support. They mean a lot to me! What a great group of virtual friends! I would appreciate your thoughts on my medication question.
 
I don't think you are whining. I took medication for a few years in fact. It worked quickly for me and I don't need it now. Retirement has that effect!

Sounds to me like a second opinion may be in order. It can't hurt. Just make sure you truly have an independent doc. The second opinion shouldn't be from the same practice.

I still have some clicking,too. It is resolving and I hope yours does, too.
 
Hi @Dmcfad2, you aren't whinning in the least. It's all complicated and not easily processed. I met with my boss today and we actually had the discussion about needing to explore the impact of the hip op further. Admittedly we are both social workers and she's a therapist too so it would probably stand to reason I would suggest a talk therapy as an initial response.

My own knowledge of medication is limited as to how quickly it is effective but sometimes it is what's needed at the time. I'm sure your GP would be able to guide you.

Others may have more personal experience to draw from and know how effective medication could be and the time frame.
 
Debbie.....you are not whining honey...just stating the facts as they are!! No wonder you are bummed out about all this.....you feel like you are worse off than before your op.....you had the op to make matters better & they are not.....I would feel exactly the same........and quite rightly it's making you anxious for the future. For me, the pain & severe lack of mobility before my op made it a no brainier for me...........I didnt want to be in a wheelchair any longer at only 62 & feeling like an old woman. So, any improvement for me was a plus.
Re...the medication.....I dont like taking long term antidepressants & for me all I need is a quick fix...a few days & my mind stops 'chattering'. However, my twin sis took Prozac for about 6 months and that helped her too. So, you really need to discuss it with your doctor..........it won't hurt....and it might help. Please don't suffer unneccessarily Debbie. Do keep us updated...thinking of you....Chrissie xxxx


Sent from my iPad using BoneSmart®
 
@Dmcfad2 On the Prozac, I felt better in the first week, and remember it made me lose weight, too.
A plus......
I think I took it for about six months. It sure helped.
 
Hey Debbie....I have been gone for awhile but I still like to check in....Whats wrong? I felt sad when I was reading your thread...Debbie go back to your Doctor. We know our bodies and we know if something is not right. I have had a wonderful outcome. My leg is still not strong. It may never be?? I can work out at the gym. I can tell you I took a trip to the beach last weekend with my sister. The walking on the sand was not pleasant. It hurt me. It was agonizing trudging through the sand. Soon as I got off on flat ground I felt fine. We are not healed yet. This will take us over a year to really see the results. Working for Orthopedics has really given me true insight to recovery. We are all different. All of us. We heal on out time. Clunking and clicking would certainly make me call for an appointment. Go check it out. Sometimes when getting in my car I feel depressed....lol I have a jeep wrangler...It takes alot of effort to get in it but I do. I live my life more carefully now which can be depressing. I try not to dwell on it. I will be 57 in September. I am not 27 anymore but I think Im doing pretty good. Dont' suffer Debbie..get back to the doctor. I will be checking on you....Keep positive......:SUNsmile:
 
Debbie, my vote, too, (if we are voting here, lol) is absolutely go for second opinion, third opinion, fourth opinion if that is what it takes. I really don't think clinking and clonking along is what your hip is supposed to do. If your original surgeon hasn't helped you fix it, keep "interviewing" til you find someone to give you the information you need! Hey--maybe a revision is what it would take but at least you would know your options and then can make a decision.

Your surgery was two weeks before mine, and I get inpatient with a few little tweeks of my left hip--I'm happy to bring some cheese to go with your whine!
 
Hi Debbie...I too have suffered, more from anxiety than depression, but I have friends who have dealt with depression for years. Neither one is something you can just think your way out of and get on with it. I have also dealt with major childhood issues and for many years by myself. It took a life changing event with my son to get me into therapy and thank God after many years on occasion when I need to talk it's only a phone call away. I live by myself and it took years to finally make the decision for the surgery since I have to support myself. My son was able to help financially, but it was still all scary as hell. I've had a relatively smooth recovery, but now with this IT Band pain, it's a constant struggle with how much work do I have to do to survive financially. All those fears and ?s are stressful and not always easy to deal with. I've learned to take pain medication when I need it, and anxiety medication when I need it. I've also learned to journal my feelings and that has helped immeasurably. Pain is a great equalizer and hopefully you find the help that you need....Rebecca
 
Hey Debbie, looking in to see how you are doing? :sneaker:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Corganics CBD

Staff online

  • Jockette
    Jockette
    Staff member since March 18, 2018
  • Layla
    Layla
    Staff member since November 20, 2017

Members online

Total: 1,266 (members: 3, guests: 1,263)

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom