Hi KK, You really sound as if you have your fair amount of stress at present; I really feel for you. Family politics are hard to deal with at the best of times but having major knee surgery - it certainly can't be easy. My thoughts are with you and I do hope you find some answers to your problems soon. All the best to you xxx
Bilateral TKR I Made It! (KneedKnees)
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brs0660
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Kneed...I can empathize with you right now. I truly believe that this is one of the most highly stressful parts of our lives! Caring for loved ones who have for years taken care of us is so very difficult. And the thoughts of taking care of ourselves are unthinkable or impossible.
My sister-in-law found a person who specialized (social worker) in helping make accomodations for adults. You might call the local Council for aging to see if they have suggestions.
Please take care of you in all of this.
My sister-in-law found a person who specialized (social worker) in helping make accomodations for adults. You might call the local Council for aging to see if they have suggestions.
Please take care of you in all of this.
Greda
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KK,
Currently I live in an rural town -- Garnett, Kansas. This is going to be a huge move to Aberdeen, SD -- a 10 hour drive. I have lived in northern MI growing up so I think the weather will be similar. He applied to jobs in NM but it just didn't work out. With this economy, you gotta take what you can get.
Greda
Currently I live in an rural town -- Garnett, Kansas. This is going to be a huge move to Aberdeen, SD -- a 10 hour drive. I have lived in northern MI growing up so I think the weather will be similar. He applied to jobs in NM but it just didn't work out. With this economy, you gotta take what you can get.
Greda
OP
OP
KneedKnees
senior
I've never heard of Garnett, Kansas! But 10 hours is quite a ways to drive to Aberdeen. I hope you're going to be okay with that long of a drive. Make sure you get out and take some breaks and walk around. Good luck!
We've found out that the rehab center is planning on releasing my father from being covered by Medicare on Wednesday. We aren't going to be ready to bring him home that soon, so will have to do private pay for a few days until we're able to get home health care lined up. Tomorrow, a woman from a Geriatric Care company is meeting with our whole family at the rehab facility. She has worked with us in the past, lining up someone to clean my parents' house once a week for the past 6 months. We're hoping that she will concur with us that my father is not that much worse off than he was prior to the surgery. Even if the doctor at the facility will not release him to go home, if the company's nurse thinks that they are able to provide adequate care for him at their home, he will be free to leave. Once we meet with the Geriatric Care specialist, hopefully she can recommend that their nurse would come and assess my father. We are praying that he will be approved for home health care. I have told my mom and sister that we must try this option - for both dad and mom - but be realistic in knowing that it might not work out.
I feel that at this point, we must give this a try. I'm hoping that perhaps Dad will "perk" up when he gets home. I really think he is angry with us and maybe just angry with how things are. I hope that he'll feel comfortable at home, and be happy. That is what I'm praying for at this point! :prayer1:
I'm very tired - all of the running, organizing, errands, visiting - along with the usual family/home things is draining any energy I have. In addition to everything that's going on, we're trying to get both of my parents' vans, and my sister's van, running smoothly. The first thing was my sister's van, which needed the doors fixed (automatic) and a piece of the fender bolted down. Then, one of my parents' vans needed a new tire, and will need an oil change. Today we switched vans with my mother - the van she was driving is "growling". I'm sure it, too, needs an oil change, as well as a new muffler! We've gotten gas in all three vans as well. These things may not seem like a lot, but when it's in addition to the "regular" family stuff that needs to be done - laundry, loading and unloading the dishwasher, making meals, packing lunches, grading papers, planning lessons, etc. - it can be overwhelming! I'm so exhausted, I'm planning on going to be very soon! :sleepz:
My knees are no better. I haven't exercised in a long time, however, today I worked outside for a little while, pulling weeds and cutting back some of my perennials, and pulling out annuals. There's still a ton of stuff to be done outside, but I can't do a lot in one spell, so I have to do it in small spurts. The fresh air and work - bending over and bending my knees - did me in! I'm elevating and icing, but again, will go to bed soon!
Please continue to pray for our family - just lots going on, and much guidance and care needed. Thank you.....:console:
We've found out that the rehab center is planning on releasing my father from being covered by Medicare on Wednesday. We aren't going to be ready to bring him home that soon, so will have to do private pay for a few days until we're able to get home health care lined up. Tomorrow, a woman from a Geriatric Care company is meeting with our whole family at the rehab facility. She has worked with us in the past, lining up someone to clean my parents' house once a week for the past 6 months. We're hoping that she will concur with us that my father is not that much worse off than he was prior to the surgery. Even if the doctor at the facility will not release him to go home, if the company's nurse thinks that they are able to provide adequate care for him at their home, he will be free to leave. Once we meet with the Geriatric Care specialist, hopefully she can recommend that their nurse would come and assess my father. We are praying that he will be approved for home health care. I have told my mom and sister that we must try this option - for both dad and mom - but be realistic in knowing that it might not work out.
I feel that at this point, we must give this a try. I'm hoping that perhaps Dad will "perk" up when he gets home. I really think he is angry with us and maybe just angry with how things are. I hope that he'll feel comfortable at home, and be happy. That is what I'm praying for at this point! :prayer1:
I'm very tired - all of the running, organizing, errands, visiting - along with the usual family/home things is draining any energy I have. In addition to everything that's going on, we're trying to get both of my parents' vans, and my sister's van, running smoothly. The first thing was my sister's van, which needed the doors fixed (automatic) and a piece of the fender bolted down. Then, one of my parents' vans needed a new tire, and will need an oil change. Today we switched vans with my mother - the van she was driving is "growling". I'm sure it, too, needs an oil change, as well as a new muffler! We've gotten gas in all three vans as well. These things may not seem like a lot, but when it's in addition to the "regular" family stuff that needs to be done - laundry, loading and unloading the dishwasher, making meals, packing lunches, grading papers, planning lessons, etc. - it can be overwhelming! I'm so exhausted, I'm planning on going to be very soon! :sleepz:
My knees are no better. I haven't exercised in a long time, however, today I worked outside for a little while, pulling weeds and cutting back some of my perennials, and pulling out annuals. There's still a ton of stuff to be done outside, but I can't do a lot in one spell, so I have to do it in small spurts. The fresh air and work - bending over and bending my knees - did me in! I'm elevating and icing, but again, will go to bed soon!
Please continue to pray for our family - just lots going on, and much guidance and care needed. Thank you.....:console:
KneedKnees.....my heart goes out to you. I know how tought this is and with knees too.....
Don't worry about your formal exercises. Trust me, you are getting PLENTY of exercise with all you're having to do. You don't need to do any more. In fact, unless you just want to do things like gardening to take your mind off family issues, you would be just fine to put your feet up, ice and rest! If you've lost any ROM, it's swelling from all you've been doing. I would be very surprised that an MUA will be necessary.
But....be aware that the swelling may continue as long as you keep up this pace. Be sure you're taking some type of anti-inflammant to help out a little. I understand how your knees must take a back seat to all this.
It is worth a try to see if home will perk your father up. And I hope you can find adequate home care. Just watch to be sure all this is not too much for your mother. It's easy for caregivers to become completely worn out with it all....as you know firsthand!!
Please let us know how you're getting along.
Don't worry about your formal exercises. Trust me, you are getting PLENTY of exercise with all you're having to do. You don't need to do any more. In fact, unless you just want to do things like gardening to take your mind off family issues, you would be just fine to put your feet up, ice and rest! If you've lost any ROM, it's swelling from all you've been doing. I would be very surprised that an MUA will be necessary.
But....be aware that the swelling may continue as long as you keep up this pace. Be sure you're taking some type of anti-inflammant to help out a little. I understand how your knees must take a back seat to all this.
It is worth a try to see if home will perk your father up. And I hope you can find adequate home care. Just watch to be sure all this is not too much for your mother. It's easy for caregivers to become completely worn out with it all....as you know firsthand!!
Please let us know how you're getting along.
Greda
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I agree with Jamie, you are doing quite a bit of exercise. I know that sometimes I feel guilty for not doing the bike more but life happens and you have to do what you can.
I will be praying that things work out for your dad. It is a hard situation for all of you. I really hope things calm down for you. The extra stuff with the vans is tough. I know from experience it doesn't take much to be too much.
Take care,
Greda
I will be praying that things work out for your dad. It is a hard situation for all of you. I really hope things calm down for you. The extra stuff with the vans is tough. I know from experience it doesn't take much to be too much.
Take care,
Greda
grabbit97
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I golfed for the first time today, Kneed, you and I had surgery the same day, but I only the right knee. I golfed 18 holes today, made it through, wiht a handicap flag, I drove up to the greens, but got in and out of the cart 400 times I bet, and really am not in too much pain tonight, still doing the 1 advil and 1 tylenol every 3 hours. At night, before bed, I take 2 of each, not totally more than the 4000 mg a day for the tylenol and 800 for the advil.
OP
OP
KneedKnees
senior
Jamie ~ Just a quick question - what type of anti-inflammatory should I be taking? I still have some Celebrex left, but haven't been taking it for quite some time. (I was told to stop at about 7 weeks post-op.) Here's what I'm currently taking;
Extra-Strength Excedrin (2 tabs early morning) - for headache
Vicodin - 1 tab as needed, usually just 1 per day at bedtime
Cymbalta - 40 mg 1/day
Alprazolam - .5 mg 2/day
Pantoprazole - 1/day
Would the Celebrex still work?
In addition, I asked my husband to help me do some stretching on Sunday night. Wow...I'm in pain. I'm having trouble walking, and my knees are very swollen and stiff. I think it's just because I haven't been doing exercises and stretching at all. Should I take the Vicodin more often?
The newest update on my "family matters" is that my Dad isn't eating well at all and has gotten quite a bit weaker. He has trouble getting out of bed and is very unstable walking. The PT said they would be re-evaluating him, which could mean he will be "Medicare-approved" to stay longer, but doesn't mean he'll get better. I concerned about whether he'll ever make it home.
Yesterday I told him that we were trying very hard to work it out so he could come home, and asked him if that's what he wanted. He shook his head "yes". Then, I told him he would have to eat and drink to get stronger so he could come home. He just doesn't seem to care... I don't even know if he is "OK" with God... I thought he was, but he doesn't respond to anything we say about God giving him another chance, or about being here to show his faith to others. It's just plain scary not knowing...
I'm very uncertain as to whether he'll come home, and whether a "new" heart (4 bypasses) is going to be good enough to keep him alive. Right now it seems as if he's just existing. It's so tough to watch...on all of us. I just pray continually that something in his head/heart changes and he at least is able to live the rest of his life happy. Please continue to pray - either for a miracle or a peaceful ending.
Extra-Strength Excedrin (2 tabs early morning) - for headache
Vicodin - 1 tab as needed, usually just 1 per day at bedtime
Cymbalta - 40 mg 1/day
Alprazolam - .5 mg 2/day
Pantoprazole - 1/day
Would the Celebrex still work?
In addition, I asked my husband to help me do some stretching on Sunday night. Wow...I'm in pain. I'm having trouble walking, and my knees are very swollen and stiff. I think it's just because I haven't been doing exercises and stretching at all. Should I take the Vicodin more often?
The newest update on my "family matters" is that my Dad isn't eating well at all and has gotten quite a bit weaker. He has trouble getting out of bed and is very unstable walking. The PT said they would be re-evaluating him, which could mean he will be "Medicare-approved" to stay longer, but doesn't mean he'll get better. I concerned about whether he'll ever make it home.
Yesterday I told him that we were trying very hard to work it out so he could come home, and asked him if that's what he wanted. He shook his head "yes". Then, I told him he would have to eat and drink to get stronger so he could come home. He just doesn't seem to care... I don't even know if he is "OK" with God... I thought he was, but he doesn't respond to anything we say about God giving him another chance, or about being here to show his faith to others. It's just plain scary not knowing...
I'm very uncertain as to whether he'll come home, and whether a "new" heart (4 bypasses) is going to be good enough to keep him alive. Right now it seems as if he's just existing. It's so tough to watch...on all of us. I just pray continually that something in his head/heart changes and he at least is able to live the rest of his life happy. Please continue to pray - either for a miracle or a peaceful ending.
KneedKnees.....two of the drugs you are taking, Cymbalta and Alprazolam, have a moderate risk for problems when combined with NSAIDS (Aleve, Advil, Celebrex, Motrin). But I see your doctor has prescribed the Pantoprazole to counter some of the stomach irritation potential of them. I believe you could take the Celebrex for short term help with inflammation, but given that you take these other meds, I think you should discuss it (or the use of over the counter NSAIDs) with your GP before taking them on a regular basis.
OP
OP
KneedKnees
senior
Jamie ~
The pantoprazole is for GERD. I'll check with my doctor. Thank you for the suggestion.
The pantoprazole is for GERD. I'll check with my doctor. Thank you for the suggestion.
OP
OP
KneedKnees
senior
Why does it seem that life's complications all come at the same time? One on top of the other! Will anything let up?
And why do people have to age physically? Participating in the breakdown of the human condition is no party! It would be so much easier if we could stay physically "young", but mature into adults and live our entire life as a healthy, vibrant person. Then, when our time was up, we would just die a peaceful death. Oh, if only that's how God had planned it! I'm sure that his reasons for the way we age are good, and this will be one of the first questions I ask when I get to heaven!
I'm really in a lot of pain. I don't know whether it is my fibromyalgia acting up, or just pain from my replacements, and doing some additional stretching. I'm having aches and pains all over - knees, legs, arms, fingers, head, etc..... Plus, I could sleep for hours. Maybe sometime I will!
It seems that Dad is doing about the same - not eating much, getting weaker, not able to transfer himself, not drinking, AND not really talking to us about anything. It's very disheartening for all of us.
We're trying to plan a few days away for our daughter's 17th birthday, but so much depends on what happens with my Dad. I'm the only one who can drive them anywhere, and I'm the one they call of there's something wrong. I don't know if it's going to work to be gone for 2 nights and 2 1/2 days. I hope so...
Please continue to pray for my Dad. Thank you ~
And why do people have to age physically? Participating in the breakdown of the human condition is no party! It would be so much easier if we could stay physically "young", but mature into adults and live our entire life as a healthy, vibrant person. Then, when our time was up, we would just die a peaceful death. Oh, if only that's how God had planned it! I'm sure that his reasons for the way we age are good, and this will be one of the first questions I ask when I get to heaven!
I'm really in a lot of pain. I don't know whether it is my fibromyalgia acting up, or just pain from my replacements, and doing some additional stretching. I'm having aches and pains all over - knees, legs, arms, fingers, head, etc..... Plus, I could sleep for hours. Maybe sometime I will!
It seems that Dad is doing about the same - not eating much, getting weaker, not able to transfer himself, not drinking, AND not really talking to us about anything. It's very disheartening for all of us.
We're trying to plan a few days away for our daughter's 17th birthday, but so much depends on what happens with my Dad. I'm the only one who can drive them anywhere, and I'm the one they call of there's something wrong. I don't know if it's going to work to be gone for 2 nights and 2 1/2 days. I hope so...
Please continue to pray for my Dad. Thank you ~
Hi KK, I'm so sorry that life is still not being fair to you and your family; I wish you strength to get you through this difficult time. Getting away sounds good but in truth I don't believe you would relax and enjoy the time away. I know for myself I have to feel all is well at home to be able to leave it.
I am sending you all my positive thoughts and a big hug xx
I am sending you all my positive thoughts and a big hug xx
daisycats
junior member
Hi KK, Been praying for you and your dad. I was wondering if there are transports in your area where volunteers drive people who need to be driven to places and pick them up. I am not sure who you would call but I know we have this in our area.Perhaps the rehab would know of where to call. It would give you breaks at times and allow you to go away for your daughter's bday If you could get more rest you would feel so good but I know God will give you grace for your needs and strength when you have none.
OP
OP
KneedKnees
senior
Once again, thank you all for your prayers and positive thoughts (((and hugs)))! I really appreciate the continued thoughts and prayers - and the reminders that God will give me whatever I need to help my parents through this rough time.
We are alternately encouraged and disappointed by Dad's days. One day he eats a bit more than usual, and the next he eats nothing. One day he is alert and responsive, the next sleeping and unresponsive. Last Friday he was walking quite well on his own, now he can't even support his weight, let alone walk. It's very discouraging. I'm sure he can't support his weight and walk because he's so weak because he hasn't eaten. He understand (at least we think he does) that in order to go home, he should be able to transfer himself, and that he needs to eat to keep his strength up so he can do that, but he just doesn't want to eat anything. Is he telling us he wants to die? That's how it appears right now. So after the gut-wrenching wait of the quadruple bypass surgery, it appears he has decided he wants to die.
Mom is handling this as well as she can. It is tough on all of us. Dad is "off" Medicare as of Monday, and we don't know what's going to happen then. Many questions, no answers right now, but we keep praying that the answer will be there when we need it!
The knees are suffering a lot right now - I'm sure the stress combined with the lack of sleep isn't helping at all. And, I'm not sure when it will let up, or when there will be a time to relax. We're still trying to plan a "getaway" next weekend, but we aren't sure if we'll be able to. I hope that I might be able to rest a little more if nothing else!
Keep the prayers coming - pray for peace and clarity. Thank you...
We are alternately encouraged and disappointed by Dad's days. One day he eats a bit more than usual, and the next he eats nothing. One day he is alert and responsive, the next sleeping and unresponsive. Last Friday he was walking quite well on his own, now he can't even support his weight, let alone walk. It's very discouraging. I'm sure he can't support his weight and walk because he's so weak because he hasn't eaten. He understand (at least we think he does) that in order to go home, he should be able to transfer himself, and that he needs to eat to keep his strength up so he can do that, but he just doesn't want to eat anything. Is he telling us he wants to die? That's how it appears right now. So after the gut-wrenching wait of the quadruple bypass surgery, it appears he has decided he wants to die.
Mom is handling this as well as she can. It is tough on all of us. Dad is "off" Medicare as of Monday, and we don't know what's going to happen then. Many questions, no answers right now, but we keep praying that the answer will be there when we need it!
The knees are suffering a lot right now - I'm sure the stress combined with the lack of sleep isn't helping at all. And, I'm not sure when it will let up, or when there will be a time to relax. We're still trying to plan a "getaway" next weekend, but we aren't sure if we'll be able to. I hope that I might be able to rest a little more if nothing else!
Keep the prayers coming - pray for peace and clarity. Thank you...
Mountain Kat
senior
~Hugs to you!!~
OP
OP
KneedKnees
senior
First, I'd like to apologize to all of my Bonesmart family members whose threads I've been ignoring. I just barely have time to spend 5 minutes a day on the forum to put down my thoughts and feelings, let alone find the time to read and comment on others' posts. Once things calm down a bit, I plan on coming back and spending more time catching up and finding out how everyone is doing.
How can things change so quickly? Between last weekend and now, my father has declined so much. It's hard to believe! However, he has also started eating a bit more in the past two days. This could be giving us false hope that things might be getting better for him, but it's something to hold onto for now.
My DH and I spent the morning at my parents' house and did some cleaning and rearranging to make things easier on my Mom (and Dad if he is able to come home). It's hard to believe how they've let the house go in the past few years, since their physical condition has deteriorated substantially. There is such clutter and just plain dirt! I think we were there for about 5 hours. When we were "done" (for now), you could really see a difference. It's by no means clean, but certainly much better. When my Mom got home from the rehab center tonight, she called to thank us and tell us how nice it looked.
I was walking out from church tonight (played the organ) and realized that my knees didn't really hurt! I was "keeping up" with my husband, and felt as if my knees were normal! It's amazing what a little sleep will do for you! I know they'll get worse again, but I'm glad to know that a pain-free future is possible!
The most gut-wrenching moment of the past week was the first time I saw the aides at the rehab center move my Dad using a Hoyer lift. He looked so helpless, weak and small. My Dad was always the strong, self-reliant one. Wow...it's hard to be on the other side of the parent/child relationship.
We are currently trying to determine whether there is a way to get Dad back home. The biggest question is whether there is a caregiving agency that will take care of him with a Hoyer lift, since he can't transfer himself. We are praying that this will work out - he really needs to be at home.
Thank you all for your {{{{{hugs}}}}} and prayers. It is so appreciated!
How can things change so quickly? Between last weekend and now, my father has declined so much. It's hard to believe! However, he has also started eating a bit more in the past two days. This could be giving us false hope that things might be getting better for him, but it's something to hold onto for now.
My DH and I spent the morning at my parents' house and did some cleaning and rearranging to make things easier on my Mom (and Dad if he is able to come home). It's hard to believe how they've let the house go in the past few years, since their physical condition has deteriorated substantially. There is such clutter and just plain dirt! I think we were there for about 5 hours. When we were "done" (for now), you could really see a difference. It's by no means clean, but certainly much better. When my Mom got home from the rehab center tonight, she called to thank us and tell us how nice it looked.
I was walking out from church tonight (played the organ) and realized that my knees didn't really hurt! I was "keeping up" with my husband, and felt as if my knees were normal! It's amazing what a little sleep will do for you! I know they'll get worse again, but I'm glad to know that a pain-free future is possible!
The most gut-wrenching moment of the past week was the first time I saw the aides at the rehab center move my Dad using a Hoyer lift. He looked so helpless, weak and small. My Dad was always the strong, self-reliant one. Wow...it's hard to be on the other side of the parent/child relationship.
We are currently trying to determine whether there is a way to get Dad back home. The biggest question is whether there is a caregiving agency that will take care of him with a Hoyer lift, since he can't transfer himself. We are praying that this will work out - he really needs to be at home.
Thank you all for your {{{{{hugs}}}}} and prayers. It is so appreciated!
When you're in a situaiton like you're in right now, KneedKnees, you must take your sunshine where you find it. Please take time to reflect on the small joys you find in each day....they are there if you look. I know how tough this is for you because I've been through it myself with my parents. My heart is with you.
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