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Bilateral TKR I Made It! (KneedKnees)

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You have to be exhausted from everything you have gone through. Don't worry about the numbers. You need to rest and take care of yourself. You are aren't quite 2 months from having both knees replaced. I can't imagine going back to work and dealing with all the family problems. The most important thing is to get the pain and swelling under control. You are really doing so much and should be proud of what you have accomplished.
Take care,
Greda
 
KK, the numbers are really not that relevant in the long run. It's like weighing yourself every day when dieting. You can't freak out when you go up a couple of pounds if you ate olives or capers the night before, right? Salty foods make you retain water and the couple of pounds is not relevant in the grand scheme of things. In the same manner, swelling and stiffness because circumstances have forced you to overdo it a bit isn't really relevant in the grand scheme. You will get back on track, lose the stiffness and swelling and get the ROM back. That's my pontificating for the day! Feel better and grab all the rest you can get.
 
Greda and MsHeidi ~

Thanks for the words of encouragement! I realize that the numbers of ROM aren't all there is to it, but I want to have the numbers that are "recommended" by the time I "graduate" from PT - which is tomorrow! I know now that I won't make it with my right knee, and it's okay, because I know eventually I will. I'm just sad that with as relatively easy as the first month of PT was, the second month was frustrating, because nothing improved (or at least not much!). I thought that since I did so well at the beginning, I would continue at the same pace. Oh well...all in time!

On the family front, we're still concerned because Dad doesn't want to eat. He will drink a protein shake, but doesn't want to eat, and tells us that we know he doesn't eat much. I told him yesterday that if he doesn't eat, he'll have to have a feeding tube, which he doesn't want. I also told him that my Mom, sister and I need him to recuperate, and asked if he cared about that. He said he did, but he still didn't eat. I'm just at a loss - - - waiting for the mental issues of having the surgery/the effects of anesthesia to lessen won't do any good if he doesn't eat while we wait. I really think he needs to be on an anti-depressant, but don't think he'll take it. We've also talked to his doctor about an appetite stimulant, but he hasn't prescribed one yet.

Please continue to pray for this situation to work out according to God's will. My Dad will be moved to a rehab facility in the not-to-distant future, and we need to have some resolution before he gets moved. This is tough on my Mom as well, as now that I'm back at school, she's driving back and forth to get my sister and take her to the hospital every day with her. Then she has to take her home at night. They sit in the hospital room all day, trying to coax my Dad to eat. It's not good....please also pray for that situation to change.

On the bright side - I have a massage today at 2:30 - can't wait!!! :wink1:
 
No, no, no! There are no targets in this, no set goals. Don't let them bulldoze you into accepting that regimented way of looking at it. You're 4 weeks out - what you have now is nothing compared to what you will have in 4 months .... or 8 months. That's where the 'target' lies.
 
Hi KK, I do feel for you and your situation with your Dad, it's so hard to see a loved one suffering. I had a similar situation with my Dad and it's so hard to try and reason with them. I am sending you all my positive thoughts and wish you well xxx
 
KK, I shall continue praying that your dad will improve and start eating. I know how tough it is. Do try to get all the rest you can so you can keep up your strength.
 
Dad got moved to a rehab facility yesterday afternoon - quite the surprise since they had originally talked about Friday. He still isn't eating :-( but have started him on an appetite stimulant. I hope that it works! I talked to Mom about the "future", which I think involves both of them moving to an assisted living facility - very likely my Dad won't make it home in the near future. She said she "couldn't talk about that right now". This is the same thing I've been hearing for years, every time I try to talk to her/them about the future. The problem is, it's here now, and we still can't talk about it! I'm at my wit's end... :hairpulling:

My massage yesterday was wonderful, however, I had a hard time keeping my legs still lying on my back. There didn't seem to be any comfortable position to leave them in! Other than that, it was great. She did quite a bit of work on the knee/leg area and said she felt some scar tissue breaking up. I hope that over a few massages that will help with my stiffness and the feeling that there is a "ball" in or under my kneecap when I'm trying to flex my knees.

Today is my "graduation day" from PT. Hoping for good numbers, but I know that's not the most important thing - not even the main goal! I just want to be able to do all the things I've dreamed of doing, and I know that will come with time - more time! At 9 weeks post-op, I'm doing just fine!

Thank you for the continued concern and prayers for my family. I'm trying to rest, but with all of the activity it's hard to find the time to elevate my feet and ice my knees. I'll keep working on it! Please continue to pray for my Dad and my Mom who is now extremely tired from all she's been doing! Thank!!!
 
I think I have an idea about what you are going through. My husband and his siblings have been talking to my inlaws about selling the house and moving to an assistive living facility. It is so hard to talk about with them because they are so opposed to it. I can see both points of view but their safety I am concerned about.
I am glad that your dad has been put on an appetite stimulant and hopefully that will help.
I will continue to pray for your family. Happy graduation day!
Greda
 
Glad to hear you had a good massage on the leg. You do need to take care of yourself a little despite everything else that's going on.
 
You might want to have a trusted family doctor talk to your parents. That's what I did with my mom and dad. I spoke with our GP and told him I needed his help. He took it from there and spoke with my Dad and Mom. He didn't mince words and explained that they needed to move because of Mom's health issues. When he talked to my Dad alone, he stressed that he needed to make the move so that he could devote more of his time to taking care of his beloved wife.

It worked for my stubborn parents!
 
When my grandfather passed away, my grandmother had an emotional breakdown because she thought we were going to force her to leave her home. She was so concerned about it that she told my aunt that she would haunt her if she ever put her in a home! We assured her that we would never do that. Fast forward several years and her health deteriorated enough that we were concerned about her continuing to live alone on the farm outside of town, but we still couldn't force her. Her doctor talked with her, but she still wanted her independence. What finally worked was asking her what it would take for her to be OK moving. She came up with the terms and it was her choice. Rather than being miserable because it was forced on her, she was really happy for her last year. Maybe it would help to point out all the positives - like not having to cook or clean anymore! (That would probably work for me! :wink1: )
 
That's a GREAT idea, Kat!!!
 
I have been MIA for the past few days due to preparations for my daughter to attend homecoming! Between finding the dress and then needing to hem it, making the butonnaire (and a corsage for my son to give his date for her homecoming), school (homecoming week there as well!), parents and sister, I just plain haven't had time! Needless to say, I'm exhausted and haven't had time to be on the computer. Nor have I had time to take care of myself! Tonight I finally had time to elevate my legs. I'll ice when I go to bed (in a few minutes). My knees are both stiff and sore. Tomorrow I have off of school and will be trying to rest up a bit to make up for the "go, go, go" of the past week.


Dad is finally eating a bit, but mostly things like sherbet, pudding and "Magic Cup" - an ice-cream like substance with nutrients added. It's better than nothing!


Mom is suffering now though. She insists on picking my sister up in her handicap van every day and taking her with her to the rehab facility. It involves getting her van out the garage, getting my sister out of the house, and when they return home, she has to reverse the process and put the car back in the garage. By the time she gets home, she is just exhausted. She fell on Saturday night - didn't get hurt, but still, she fell. I'm very worried about her keeping this pace up. With congestive heart failure, she needs her rest as well, and she's having a really tough time with this.


My sister is of no help, because she's the one who insists on going with my mom every day, so my mom isn't "alone" at the rehab facility with my dad all day. I've told her Mom doesn't need to stay all day, and that she doesn't have to take my sister, but Mom says that my sister doesn't like her to be there all day by herself. Personally I think Mom would do better alone - she'd get a little more rest and not be so exhausted when she gets home. Any time I bring these things up, Mom says she just can't talk about it right then. We're never able to talk about it - that's the problem.


I've asked their pastor to speak with them, and I'm about ready to contact their doctor. Something has to give!


Keep the prayers coming - the whole family is still in need!
 
You are definitely in a difficult place. I think your idea about getting their pastor and doctors involved is an excellent one. It needs to be someone other than you.
 
You know, we all have days when we think that we're having such a bad time but just reading your post has made me think. I haven't got your problems just my stupid knee, My boys (20&22) are fine and ageing parents seem OK too so I should be very grateful. Thank you for making me see what is good and I wish you all the best from the UK xxxxx
 
I am so glad you have the day off. It sounds like you need it. I know that it is difficult to do it all when you are well -- let alone recovering from major surgery.
I hope your pastor can help. My husband always has to be the one to handle the difficult situations. Lately my sil has been calling me to tell my husband to talk to his parents about selling their house. It is a hard place to be in. I will remember you and your family is my prayers.
Greda
 
Once again, it's been a few days since I've been able to post! Life is so much more hectic than I was expecting it to be post-surgery! I'm at 9 weeks post-surgery now, and feeling significantly better (physically). I actually was walking the other day, and realized that I hadn't been thinking about my knees hurting! Amazing feeling!!! :yahoo: Aside from the fact that I haven't gotten enough sleep and am getting a cold, I'm feeling much better than I did even two weeks ago! The light at the end of the tunnel is beginning to be seen again! :thumb:

I graduated from PT last week, and have since decided to try to set aside the same amount of time to make sure I keep up with my exercises. (The day to day, sporadic exercise doesn't seem to happen often enough because I'm continually running to the rehab center or to the grocery or drug store for my parents or sister.) So, I have tried to set aside the time I spent in PT to exercise at home (or walk) and practice going up and down stairs. I've already committed to getting on the stationary bike for 10-15 minutes prior to leaving for school in the morning. That works pretty well, and I can really tell a difference in how much looser my knee is during the day. I'm not the best at following through on stuff like this, so I'm going to really try to keep at it!!!

On the family side of things, my daughter had a "wonderful" time at homecoming with the "new" boyfriend! They looked so great together, and I must say, she looked beautiful. If I can, I'll try to upload a picture of them, but I'm at a school computer right now.

My son came home for the weekend as well to go to his girlfriend's homecoming (she's a senior in high school). They also had a nice time, and we had a nice drive taking him back on Monday.

The situation with my parents is at a standstill, however, it seems that my Dad is improving gradually. He actually ate some meat and vegetables yesterday! The doctors prescribed an appetite stimulant, and it has apparently helped immensely. They've also prescribed an anti-depressant, which of course, hasn't had time to work yet, but I hope will also help. My Mom continues to go and pick up my sister every day to take her along to the rehab center. This is so hard on her, but she wants to have someone with her there during the day, because unless my Dad is a PT or OT or eating - he's sound asleep. Because both of my parents and my sister are gone all day, there is so much that isn't getting done at their houses - like grocery shopping! So...I've been the one to get things they've needed. Plus, even if my Mom were home, I wouldn't want her going by herself, because she's weak and tired too!

I've been in contact with their pastor, and a woman from an elder care agency that has been working with my Mom and sister for about a year. The only problem is that if Mom isn't willing to talk to her, nothing gets done. This woman knows that the situation warrents change, but can't force anything. Nor can I. I keep trying to give my Mom hints about her safety and my concern for her being alone in the house, and driving, but she just isn't ready to deal with it now. She HAS at least considered that my Dad may not come home from rehab, or may need continued care. But that's as far as it has gone - considering. I think we're poised to begin working on it, but it's not there quite yet! (I am just overwhelmed with the enormity of the situation whenever I think about it!)

So...please continue to pray for the situation to work out according to God's plan - whatever it is. And, I would really appreciate prayers for my continued physical improvement - I worry that with all of the stress I may take some backwards steps. Thank you all.......
 
Just a thought Kneed...

I work in the elder care field, and in NJ were I live, there is increasing focus on helping elders maintain themselves in their own homes with assistance. Granted, much of the focus is due to financial state of our country/state and the cost of providing Medicaid funding to nursing homes/assisted living facilities. However, it is well known that elders overwhelmingly do prefer to remain in their homes if at all possible.

Often times it IS possible, if the elders are willing to accept care in the home - and for private paying people, it is far less expensive to do that than it is to pay privately for care in a facility. I don't want to take up the time in this forum, but I would be happy to discuss any information I may have with you through private messaging or email. Certainly all states are different, but the basics are generally very similar.

As far as your recovery, I am about where you are, having had my PKR on August 8th. I've been slow to gain more flexion (at least in my opinion), but just this past week I've noticed a difference in how my knee "feels." Along with that, I am getting to 110 with a light stretch and no discomfort, instead of having to push for it before. Only last week, anything more than 95 required some effort and a little discomfort. Now the same effort gets me to 115, so I'm getting there, slowly but surely, and you are too! I admire those of you who brave doing both knees at once. It absolutely makes sense when you know that both need to be done, but I can't imagine not having a good knee to balance out the recovering knee!

We really are the "sandwich generation" aren't we?! Tending to elderly parents and parenting our own children through the high school years, is quite challenging. I lost my father many years ago, but I'm experiencing the same types of things with my mom that you are. I'm quite sure that when we reach that age, we will be just as fiercely independent!

Most importantly for now - don't let your own needs be forgotten during this difficult time. It's really, really easy to put ourselves back at the end of the line when we are needed by everyone else. I'm glad to see that you are keeping your PT routine going at home. I was just discharged from PT also, and I think I just might decide to do the same thing you are!
 
Hi KK, You have been a busy bee of late - sounds like you had some fun too with your children. It's so great to see them growing up and developing into young adults. Enjoy!!

I do send you more positive wishes for your parents. It's so challenging have elderly parents to look after and protect. My mother is causing me lots of worry at present but I am trying to keep positive and not be too bossy with her :hairpulling:. Bless her!!!

You sound like you have done a top job with your knees - well done. I still can't believe you are all done and dusted - I still remember from the early summer and reading your pre-op posts - wow!!!

Keep up the good work and good luck with your parents :friends:xx
 
Deezee & Jazyb ~

Thank you for the encouraging words! It hardly seems possible that almost 10 weeks has past since my surgery. I try to think back to those pre-op days, and it's hard to remember how nervous I was, and how much pain I was in! :skeptical: I guess that's good, because it means that enough time has passed that I feel things are better now! :yay: I rode the bike this morning for 10 minutes before I left for school, and I really think that helps a lot with how I handle the rest of the day. My knees feel much more flexible and there's definitely less pain so far. (We'll see what happens as the day progresses...)

I'm thankful that amidst all of the stress and worries right now, I'm still able to spend some quality time with my family and "forget" my worries briefly. Thank you for the reminder about how special those times are! :friends:

On the bright side, Dad is eating some meat and vegetables, and we're waiting to see if he's getting stronger. The PTs say he's doing really well when he's with them, so that's a good thing. The newest development in the Mom and sister issue is that last night, while I was directing a choir rehearsal at church, my Mom called to tell me that they were trying to leave the rehab center to get my sister home in time for her caregiver to help her get to bed, and her van wasn't working. The ramp was down, she was in the van, and they couldn't get the ramp to go back up and the door to close. So my husband went to try to help. By the time he got there, they had found someone to help them put the ramp up, and they drove several miles with the door open! :no2: My husband caught up with them and had my Mom turn the car off and back on, and then the door closed so they could drive home. We have a friend who is going to go to my sister's house today and take a look at it to see if he can fix it. The "good" part of this is that it means my Mom won't have to pick my sister up and take her along today. We'll see how this goes! I'm hoping my Mom will appreciate not having to do the extra walking and driving. I know I won't be worrying quite as much as I normally do. :sigh:

We are driving to visit my father-in-law (in a rehab facility after a month long stay in the hospital fighting an unknown infection) tonight. He is about an hour away from where we live. So, another night of being on the go, and not elevating and icing! We haven't visited him in quite a long time, and really need to. At least there are three brothers there to split up the care-duties with, unlike my situation where I'm it!

My Mom commented this morning that she just realized how "alone" we are. We have friends, but we are the only family we have. My Dad has a sister three states away, but other than that, it's just my parents, my sister (unmarried) and me (w/husband and two kids). That means that whenever anything like a car not starting or doors not closing happens, I get the call. It's lonely... :gaah:

Needless to say, as you can tell from my recent posts, this is on my mind more than my knees. Maybe this has forced me to be less self-centered about my knees and focus outwardly instead. And funny, the main worry for me right now is NOT the father that had quadruple bypass surgery two weeks ago. It's my mother, sister, AND father and their future living situation. We have talked about in-home care, and in fact, that's exactly what my sister has. However, I still would worry about the times that a caregiver wouldn't be there, and about times that mom and/or dad are driving. I really feel that at this point the answer is being somewhere besides their homes, but we certainly haven't ruled out in-home care. I play through all of the possible scenarios in my head, and there just is no solution that will please everyone. BUT...I really don't notice my knees every minute of every day now! :egypt-dance: I'm really excited about that! So, if any good has come out of my focus on this situation, this is it! :yay:

Thank you again for the encouragement!
 
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