BJ, First I will tell you that I have been through divorce and I know that it is very emotional and difficult. I am sorry that you have to go through it.
Second, of course you are exhausted. Two long horse shows and then a trip across country---I would be exhausted too. So, you will have to pull the plug on horse shows for a little while. I also have spent a life pleasing my children--often at the cost of my own health. I understand that need to BE there for the kids---to feel like they need you and that you cannot miss anything. It was an important part of my identity too---the mom who was always there--no matter what.
But---and this is a big but---you have had major surgery two months ago. Your poor body needs more time to heal and you are trying to push it into healing. I also have impossible goals for my body----Go, go, go is my mantra of life. With my first tka, I tried to continue that lifestyle but it just did not work. With my second tka, I learned to let go a little.
If people called me controlling, I would say, no way, I am easy going. But----let my kids come into the mix and the tiger mother arrives. I did not want to miss anything--any experience, any possible time that they might need me. But, when did I teach them that I might need help sometime? I forgot all about that part.
Most people assume that this surgery is over when you leave the hospital. But, I spent the first two weeks lying on my couch. The next two weeks I still did very little physically. Now, I am just beginning to move. We had our surgery on the same day. Think about what you have done that I have not. So, it is not too late to spend some time on the couch so that those irritated tissues can heal. Do not let yourself travel for another few weeks---your kids will find someone to go with them to whatever.
When you exercise, give yourself 20 min max for an activity. swimming? NO walking in the pool in chest deep water--YES. Walk backwards, forwards, sideways---oops 20 min is up. You can put on a flotation belt and cross country ski or run, for 20 min. It will make you feel better---BUT do not overdo. As you make yourself slow down, some of the other stuff will fall into place. Somehow it is always the morning that we are late that we misplace our keys!!
Call your doc---tell him you misplaced the script and ask him to MAIL it to you since you live so far away. Assure the office that you will MAIL the other script to them if you find it. Don't worry---I have lost scripts myself, it is no big deal. If his office balks, call your primary doc and tell him you need a script, they are much more understanding.
Call Apple---they make a gazillion dollars a year, let them help you through the computer stuff. Have to be on hold---good, get ice and put your feet up while waiting. Breathe, you will and you can get through this. You will have to give your body a little more attention, however. It needs rest and quiet. Let your kids know that you overdid and that you are in physical and emotional pain. That you need help----you will be surprised that they need to help you just as much as you want to help them. It will make them feel like what they are---adults. Also, it teaches them to have compassion for others. Call a few girlfriends and tell them you need help---open up to people, you do not have to be superwoman. I like it when my friends ask for help---it enables me to ask too.
It is okay to ask a friend to listen to you. But, I did find that a therapist helped me so much during my divorce. It helped me not to unload on my kids or friends too much---or to say things that I regretted later. I knew I could unload all of my anger and bitterness to the therapist, it felt good. And, finally, BJ, crying lets the sad out of us. It's okay to cry. One night, I cried all night---I woke up at 2---still crying---I woke up at 5 still crying. I finally woke up at 7---and thought, "Wow, I feel better!" Kelly
United States
I want to eat, sleep and recover. ... all I can think of is, "When can I go to sleep?" This is not good.
I am not a drinker, beyond an occasional glass of wine, and when my kids wake up and find me passed out drunk... hmmmmm... thanks for the thought though. You made me smile.
Thanks, I am resting and laughing, and putting my feet up and reading the posts. I had a sad day, exhausted. Thanks for the hugs, and the duck tape threat... 
