Marian, I am sorry. We buried my mother on December 20th, 2013. I understand the sadness and sense of loss. That first Christmas, I just cried my way through it. Last year, I needed to have a new beginning in traditions and we changed some things. This year, with the knee, it is once again different. With both parents gone, there is a profound sense of not belonging to something greater...I don't know how to explain it. I had a very close relationship with my parents and miss them desparately. It is o.k. to be sad and it is o.k. if you want to smile and remember the happy times also. You are in prayers.