Good Morning
@Berber7227
It's heartbreaking to read of your feelings this morning. It's not a great way to begin a new week.
I'm wondering what has you feeling so hopeless and in despair.
It's extremely difficult to lose our sense of normality in everyday life. Two things come to mind.
First being depression which is common after surgery. Life as you knew it has drastically changed.
You're not progressing as you'd hoped. I worry that you are comparing your recovery to that of others and feel you're not making the grade. Most of us experienced THR. You went through BTHR. That extra letter carries some weight in the realm of recovery.
I'm not expecting you to answer these questions, just some things to ponder:
Are you getting out of the home enough?
Are you connecting with friends or loved ones, either through visits, or phone calls?
Are you feeling isolated, alone?
Living in the area of the country that you do with the snow and cold, I'm wondering if you're getting out
to smell the roses at all? If you are feeling frustrated, hopeless and alone, consider speaking with your physician if you haven't already. Possibly he could prescribe something for you as a bridge to get back to where you want to be.
I'm wondering if speaking with a priest or pastor may help? Even if you don't belong to a church I'm sure you could phone one nearby and arrange to speak with someone. It may also introduce you to new people willing to offer love, comfort and support.....which we all need.
Next, I'm wondering if you're in a state of chronic pain. It did seem you were into some aggressive PT for a time and possibly you've yet to recover. Consider talking to your OS or a member of his care team if you haven't already about prescribing some pain relief for an additional time. Pull out the ice, if you haven't already.
Since you can only move forward you'll need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again, just as the song says. I strongly encourage you make some phone calls. First to your primary physician then the office of your OS. Getting back into the right frame of mind mentally and emotionally will help you move forward with physical healing.
We're here Berber to offer love and support but we can only do so much. Please keep in touch. We care and want to see you happy and thriving.
Sending a hug and prayers that you gather up the strength and motivation needed to move forward.
United States
I have a brain that holds on to facts like a sieve. But, I believe your Mother is of the mind that you are making a mountain out of a molehill.
I have one of those too. As a child, if you were not bleeding profusely, and your life was not in danger, then you were fine. Yes, folks she actually would ask that question and we all knew she was deadly serious. If your daughter has a cold or the flu, 
you want to stay away! 
We wish you only the best. The very best rest!
I don't know how I managed to put that selfie in there. 
The serious part, here it comes, is, you have LOTS of people, that you have never met in person, caring about you; wishing you healing rest and a peaceful mind and spirit.
