Post op blues has hit hard, but 9 weeks out ...
First of all, I just want to remind everyone that my question mark key doesn't work, so please excuse punctuation errors.
I had the "post op blues" hit pretty hard a few days after I was discharged from the hospital at the end of January. I had all the whirlwind stuff going on at the hospital and then went to the rehab on the weekend, where nothing was going on, and I had way too much time on my hands to sit and think. Let's just say that Sunday afternoon, especially, was not pretty--I cried so much I'm surprised I didn't get dehydrated. I got through that during the first 24 hours I was there and moved forward and really never had much trouble with "the blues" until now.
Another period of change--I've gone back to work. I could not do a part-time return--I had to go back full time. The hip isn't bothering me more because of it, but suddenly I no longer have time to do things in a leisurely fashion, one of my dogs is having a difficult time adjusting to having less of me and is very whiny and demanding during the time I am home, a friend recently passed away from cancer, I'm not completely "normal" yet, etc. I'm feeling pretty good physically, but I'd like things to progress faster and nothing I do makes this happen. I still feel like my overall body muscles, tendons, ligaments, etc. are still recovering--I don't hear much about that on here. Is this just because I was so weak and debiliated before surgery.
For at least 6 weeks after surgery, every muscle in my body was very stiff when I got out of bed or up from a chair, even my fingers hurt! These are slowly getting better, but it's taking forever! Did anyone else have problems with stuff like that at where I'm at--9 weeks. Frankly, the new hip has been pretty easy and feels like the least of my problems. It has rehabbed very well and I could feel a steady, continuous improvement. It still has a little strength and stretching to go before it's back to feeling like a completely normal hip, but it feels almost there now.
The few I've shared this with ... I've told them that sometimes I feel like I'm one of those catastrophic accident victims having to learn to use their body again and really struggling to do it. That makes me cry when I think about it.
I was SO debilitated before I had the surgery. My left hip arthritis advanced so quickly--it is almost frightening when I think about it--I never even had a twinge of pain on the left until Feb 2011 and by July 2011, I could barely walk more than 100 feet. By October, I was near tears and leaning on a cane to do the same. I can see the progression of my arthritis from the x-ray CD I have--OMG!!! Just the difference between July and January, just before my surgery is amazing! No wonder I could hardly walk.
And, before the left started up, the right was hurting too and limiting my activities to just what I needed to do with nothing left for social activities, recreation, etc. I hadn't even been comfortable enough to take my dogs for a walk for two years prior to the hip replacement. It was "do what you gotta do, and then sit or lie down the rest of the time". The right hip, though, has been a slower progression and no where near as disabling. Funny how these hips do their thing when they start deteriorating.
Well, here I am at 9 weeks. Back to work. Back to regular life. But ... not really. ... ... I'm in limbo because I need to have the right hip replaced, which will be done ... but I want it done tomorrow, not June! Darn it!!! (The whiny, "I want it now!" part of me coming through!)
My friends are planning their horseback trail riding season, and I'm *not* ... ... going on the 3rd year because of these hips. I still can't walk more than half a mile or so because of the right hip pain and some back pain with sciatica that was stirred up again by the hip surgery and recovery. I'm getting a spinal injection April 6th for that. I hope that settles it down.
Although I'm still limited, I'm like a marathon runner in comparison to how I was before the left hip replacement. So, I'm moving much more freely, quickly, and fluidly. No more hobbling. My gait is normal until the right hip starts yelling at me. Then it's more of a kink in my stride, rather than an actual limp. I just have to stop walking or it hurts too bad to continue.
That said, as my mobility improves, I have weird things like tendons straining, feet hurting and having prickly, pins and needles sensations after being on my feet for extended periods of time or when sitting at my desk in the dreaded 90 degree position that was so difficult for me the first few weeks after surgery. I do get up and stretch or take a walk frequently, but I kind of "seize up" within 15 minutes or so after sitting back down. I can't be up and down continuously--I'll never get anything done, lol. Please tell me this will pass ... It's amazing how hard it is to sit at a desk.
These "non-hip, physical" things are frustrating and a little disturbing. I think they are just part of my body regaining what it lost over the past 2 years--I was pretty much a slug with a cane--and I'm also 51 now and I'm probably not going to bounce back as quickly as when I was younger and got tossed off a horse or whatever. This period has been the first time in my life that I haven't been able to do anything I've wanted to do no matter how physically difficult it was. But, it's so frustrating and sometimes I get scared that I'm never going to be "normal" again. That's where the Blues come in. I feel like I've given up 2 years of my life already, and I don't want to give up a minute more.
I just feel that I could cry any second throughout the day. It started up yesterday and is worse today. I have to go to work in a little bit and I'm dreading it. I know I'm going to be so tired at the end of the day. I haven't done much housework this week and I have a sink full of dirty dishes. I look around and it looks nothing like it was when I was off work and had all day to do things. I did almost all of my own housework, cooking, laundry, etc. beginning as soon as I came home from rehab at the 10 day post op mark. Now, I feel like doing those dishes will make me collapse straight into bed!
My new hip itself has been non-problematic since the get-go. Seems like for me, it was the fatigue, the overall body adjusting, muscles in other parts of the body getting upset about having to work again, and stuff like that--those were the unexpected problems. The hip itself probably felt like it was free to fly! It just needed the usual post op strengthening and range of motion stuff and it was good to go.
Don't get me wrong--I'm SO grateful for the new hip and grateful to be getting the second one done soon. I feel so much better. My life before was just a blur of pain and blah. And, I feel selfish and "you ungrateful thing" when the negative feelings do surface. I just get very frustrated with "why am I not back to normal yet!"
Any advice. Anyone else go through this kind of thing.
Dorothy
United States
