New here and terrified

[Butterfly]

Josephine

Oh my dear - I do wish we were closer. I have helped people get their BP down a lot by teaching them very simple relaxation techniques. I'm not a trained hypnotherapist or anything, these are just skills I have developed for myself but they do work. One lady had her BP go down about 25 points in 30 mins in a noisy room whilsst sitting in a hard office chair.

Can you give me any tips or anything to help either keep it down, or get it down while I'm waiting for surgery? I've been religiously taking it at home and it stays Ok (per my doc). It does go up a bit when I start thinking about it and start to get anxious. I'm going to take my log of my readings with my on op day. My doc says it is just anxiety and fear and I have that white coat syndrome thing. Will they really turn me away if it is high on op day?

Any tips or info or instructions would be gratefully appreciated.

Peace and love.

Milli

 

[Josephine]

White coat syndrome is actually quite common. Some people have it worse than others. It will help if you talk with your surgeon about it and get a sedative like valium to take just prior to admission. Taking your log of readings at home with you is a jolly good idea. So long as they know you have WCS, things should be okay.

 

[Butterfly]

Josephine Talking to my surgeon is only slightly less difficult than talking to God face to face. I have to go thru his "medical assistant" (secretary), who is completely uninterested and doesn't return calls much. The only way ato really talk to him is tomake an appointment, and they are about 45 days out. I do have a sooner post-op appointment, but that would be too late.

I was hoping you would have a magic tip for calmingn. I do fucus on my breathing, and try to go to a safe place, etc. Sometimes works, but not when I am extremely anxious. Maybe you could come by and hold my hand in the waiting room? I bet that would do it.

I do have some 5 mg. valium -- would it be safe to take one before I go in? I had thought of that, but didn't know . . . .

 

[Josephine]

Only take what's prescribed by the doctors. They need to know exactly what you are taking.

 

[Jojool]

Butterfly Make sure you ask your dr., but I was told to take one of my Xanex the morning of surgery, about the time I left for the hospital. I think it helped. But, again, make sure you talk to your Dr.!

 

[Peaches]

Hi, Butterfly ... I never have been able to get through to my OS even once on the phone. BUT his office staff does respond to emails. Maybe you could try that? My OS's secretary always forwards any emails I send her with medical questions she obviously cannot answer.

The night before my surgery I don't think I slept but maybe an hour. You know, kind of like pulling an all-nighter like we sometimes did as teenagers. I didn't plan it. It just happened. Anyway, I was too exhausted to be too scared.

I agree with the others to ask you doc first before taking anything prior to surgery.

You are almost there. This time next week you'll be on the other side and on your way to a better life. Hang in there!

 

[Bionic woman2]

Oh Beautiful Buttefly, I have seen you flickering around the site and had no idea what you were going through. I'm on the knee side, but we are all recovering together. In just a few more days you will begin the process of getting your life back.

I've been reading about your elevated blood pressure and I can relate to where you are coming from. I have always had low/pretty good blood pressure up until recently. Stress is something I've learned to cope with throughout my life, but my body recently decided to manifest the signs of it when my blood pressure is taken. I was trying cayenne pepper for it, but stopped all supplements/herbal products just before my 1st knee surgery. Since this is something new, my GP is just monitoring it for now. I find when I'm stressed or anxious music helps a great deal, along with deep breathes... and there's always prayer. I use to dance and cook to release tension, but those two are on the shelf for now.

I'd definitely recommend nice mellow music, candles, or even watching program to take your mind off your dilemma. I find a third world documentary always helps me put things in perspective. So stay busy with other stuff, play music and Breathe.... JUST breathe.

I wouldn't worry about your blood pressure the day of surgery. Mine was something crazy like 152/96. I looked at it and didn't flinch. Once they gave me my happy meds, it went down a little and after surgery I was 110ish/70ish, which is what I was used to. Sometimes life takes us places we don't wanna go and we have to decide HOW we're gonna be "kidnapped" because we're going, like it or not.

You know in your heart that this surgery is necessary and it's going to change your life for good... so go with that thought. Try to shut down the negative thoughts and the "what if's." I know it's easier said than done, been there.. done that, still do it sometimes. lol However, you've already decided to have surgery in order to regain your mobility and get your life back.

So when doubt and Mr. worry-head come to the door, DON'T ANSWER IT! If they persist and call you on the phone, let this guy answer it. Anything you need to know, can and will be answered on this site, by you and through the people placed in your path. If you can't find the answer, then give the question a rest. My heart is going straight out to you.

6 days till the beginning of a new you. YOU GOT THIS!

I pray that God gives you "PEACE that surpasses ALL understanding." Amen
Butterfly... Get ready for your transformation.

 

[glynis]

Hi Butterfly

I am just back from a few days away, and wanted to wish you all the best for Monday. I know you're apprehensive, and I know it's a big surgery for anyone, but I honestly think you'll find it easier than you are imagining.

Of course you may have a few days afterwards when you feel uncomfortable, or nauseous, or exhausted, or any of those general kind of fun things which go with most surgeries. In fact, it would be unusual if you don't have at least a couple of them. But those things will pass. I know that you know that, in your heart of hearts.

It doesn't exactly sound like the kind of comment you would get from a great philosopher, but I reckon whoever came up with the phrase "Go With The Flow" pretty much hit the nail on the head. Try not to over-think it all. Even if something were to go slightly awry, I can guarantee you that it wouldn't be whatever it is that you have worried about.

It is an absolute tenet of my own philosophy that it is entirely wrong to keep thinking "Everything will be all right when..." That can lead you down the path towards "Be careful what you wish for..." Not one of us knows what is in our future. I am not going to say to you that after you have had this operation you will immediately be cured of all your ills. You would not expect anyone to tell you that.

But you also know that the life you are leading now is not safisfactory. You have done your research, and this surgery offers a chance of an improvement for you.

Please don't be offended when I talk to you like this. I don't have much of a track record of "sensible thinking" myself, being quite neurotic in many ways. We have never met, and you are probably much wiser than me.

Just try and take things as they come. It's the only way, I reckon!

Glynis

 

[Butterfly]

glynis
Bionic woman2

I am doing OK -- I am not considering backing out of the surgery or anything crazy like that! I am just very anxious and do not even really know why. I do not fear the surgery itself -- I'll be asleep. I'm not particularly worried about post-op pain. I have so much pain now with two bone-on-bone hips, and I've heard so many people say that the post op pain is so much less than that is. I'm not particularly worried about the recovery. It will be what it will be, and I get the other one done and someday in the not too distant future I'll be able to walk around and shop and walk my doggies and all kinds of stuff I haven't been able to do in so long -- it's a gift.

I hate hospitals -- not sure why -- they just scare me to death. I don't even like to visit in them. That nurse in the pre-admission scared me when she said if my BP doesn't come down they won't operate, and my GP says it isn't high BP, it is anxiety, which is good, and of course he will not medicate for what doesn't exist. I am not very good about controlling hospital anxiety and I keep thinking about what if I can't control it that day and it is high and I have a big fat panic attack and they won't operate??? As Glynis or someone pointed out to me I started out terrified to have the surgery and now I am terrified they won't do it. Go figure.

I retired during this waiting period, and have found it difficult to be alone most of the time with all this pain. I live alone and normally love it. But the life change of the retirement and the pain and immobility has taken a toll on me emotionally. I sure do look forward to feeling better so I can do some volunteer stuff with a dog rescue or something. I guess I kinda feel like I've fallen out of the fabric of life and I want to get back in there. I am not done yet!!! I just have all this stupid anxiety built up and I can't seem to shake it.

Glynis, I'm glad you are back from your trip -- hope you had fun.

Bionic Woman2, sounds like you are doing great and bet you are glad you have both surgeries behind you now.

Peace and love.

 

[Bionic woman2]

Butterfly, I understand about the being alone in pain/surgery part. I usually have a come to Jesus moment just before they put me under. I cry, pray, but it is very peaceful.

I just had a emotional roller coaster ride today that would RIVAL Universal Studios' HULK. lol I laugh now, but WOOOO! I don't wanna relive so I won't go into the gory details. Some of it is on my thread. Basically, I couldn't find something very important I had entrusted to my son and I was trying to do a total recall on Oxy.... not cool.Talk about "please don't kill my vibe." I'm tired of being responsible for everything even in the midst of major surgery/recovery, there's no one to stand in the gap and be responsible for me. I got through the issue and I have my peace back, but WOW! What a RIDE!

Anyway, back to you mama. I'm thinking the minute you get that gown on and whip up the medicinal cocktail, you may have an anxiety attack, but it's gonna be the MILDEST ONE KNOWN TO MAN! Can you say, Lucy in the Sky-yyy with Diii-iamonds! "They call me Mellow Yellow."

You will be fine, your BP will come down and the OS will be able to operate... and then you can get the other hip done and join the Flash Mob we're gonna have in 2015!

You got this!

 

[Butterfly]

Bionic woman2 I like your choice of songs -- maybe I'll get to hear some old Fifth Dimension songs whilst under anesthesia??!! "Would you like to fly in my beautiful balloon..." and some like that?? Or maybe some old disco stuff (I know it is uncool to like disco, but I DO, and some of my best memories were during that period. I'd happily settle for the Bee Gees and Donna Summer.) I"ll have to mention that to the anesthesiologist .. . .
BTW, I LOVED dancing disco in my cute little dress with the whirly skirt and really cool shoes. . .

I'm sure I"ll have that come to Jesus moment, too. Once I'm in there, I'm sure it will be OK -- it's the waiting I dread, and I sure hope Nurse Ratchet from pre-anesthesiology won't be there. She'll probably be off in her office scaring the heck out of some other poor unsuspecting person.

Please say prayers for peace and healing for me. I will keep you in my prayers as well.

Sounds like you are doing great, other than having to manage the world. I know that feeling well, and it used to make me just want to scream. The good news is, usually they grow up to be fine people, if you can just get through the awful teenage years without strangling them!

Peace and love to you.

 

[Poppet]

Good luck for Monday Butterfly.... Finally your turn, we will be with you in spirit and waiting for your all important post op update x

 

[Jozilla]

Morning Butterfly. I too am terrified of surgery and always have been. By the time I get to the hospital I am usually in a full blown anxiety attack. I am just beginning the preop for tkr's but I am going to talk with my OS to see if he will prescribe some Valium. Last time I had surgery the doctor could not get the Valium in me quick enough. He asked me why I was such a wreck and I told him I am terrified of not waking up from anesthesia. He told me I woke up during surgery but I had no recall of this. I did find out that I have severe sleep apnea which is probably why this happened. Since I now know this I have to make sure all anesthesiolists and surgeons know this as they must do something different. My OS told me he will put me in ICU for the first 24 hours and then to the joint replacement floor. This also worries me. I have actually spoken with a counselor several times but it is difficult for me to not worry and trust others. I will keep you in my prayers and hope we can both find some peace!


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[Roofmaster]

Good morning Butterfly.Thanks for posting on my recovery thread.Youve been a big fan of mine and Ive been a big fan of that.Youve got three more days of hell left enjoy them cuz soon it will be over.Being alone with our pain is something all of us with this hip issue can relate.Really we're all alone even if there are ten people in the house.Unless I stab someone in the hip with a steak knife theyre not going to understand this pain.As far as fearing hospitals,join the club.Prior to me breaking my knee 3 years ago the last time I was in a hospital was when I watched my Mother die.Before that it was birth.My anxiety and fear of hospitals was irrational,like my fear of great white sharks from watching Jaws as a kid.I overcame my fear of sharks by facing it head on and becoming a competition freediver spearfisher.And a pretty good one at that.Good enough to represent my state in the 2000 or 2001 National Spearfishing tournament.I overcame my fear of hospitals by falling off the roof and shatterind my knee.Now they litterally have to gang up on me to get me to leave.The first surgery I was in for 4 days,the doctor tried to get me to leave on the 3rd day.Youve read my post I was calling it a hotel.This surgery I left after 3 days mostly from pressure from my wife who was home alone (with a house full of guns your never alone). I regretted leaving so soon immediately when I tealized I didnt have instant access to IV antibiotics,pain meds,a staff providing my every need,free cable tv and some pretty good food.I love life and living as do you.What better place to be on the planet than a place thats only reason for existance is to sustain life.I know one thing,Im taking over a hospital after the apocalypse and you can have a room.The high blood presure thing also runs in my family as does diabetus.Both were contributing factors in my Moms death.My blood presure has hovered around the high mark for quite some time,like the past 6 years while my osteo arthritus hip pain and the related anxiety has consumed me.This past surgery my blood pressure has never been better,except the morning of when I was worrying myself silly like a child about that IV needle.Maybe that will be my next fear to overcome by becoming an IV drug user.Ha ha just kidding.
Here we are Ive been through 2 of them and your going in for your 1st.How awesome does that sound? Remember back your 1st post,my 1st post.Look how much time has passed.How many moons?I promise you your going to be looking back after surgery saying what was I so worried aboitThis is the best thing you can do for yourself at this point in your life.What are your options?Becoming a burden?Not me.Not you.I will be right behind you now and right beside you during surgery.When exactly is it?What day and time so I can have my own little candle light vigil to transport my spirit imto yours.Oh and Im serious about the room for you in my hospital after the apocalypse.Bring family.Peace.

 

[Butterfly]

Roofmaster Thank you for the so kind words. My surgery is Monday the 30th of September, next Monday! My check in time is 5:30 AM, but I don't know what time the actual surgery is. They said it was OS first one of the day.

Thank you so much for planning the vigil, I do so appreciate it. I will be waiting for your spirit. Will I suddenly want to go put a roof on something?? HAHAHA

I am doing OK, just a bit (!!!) anxious.

Thank you for your friendship and support

Peace and love to you.

Milli

 

[crystals5]

Butterfly take one just be sure to let them know. She said they have people helicoptered in who have been in accidents, are drunk, on drugs, not conscious, etc and they come out of surgery just fine. I dont know if I will be coming home or to rehab as I also live alone. I will do whatever is suggested although right now I am hoping to come home but that may change. I know one of the rehab places that my insurance covers does not have wifi so if I go there I won't be able to post but I am sure the hospital does. Good luck. You are in my prayers. My blood pressure has also gone up in recent months. My suggestion is to just breathe deeply, close your eyes and however your mind sees it see your blood pressure going down, down, down. I know for sure, easier said than done. Good luck. I'm here all weekend doing all sorts of things I usually don't.

 

[crystals5]

Butterfly Don't know why my previous post got partly deleted but what I wrote was I spoke to the surgical nurse today and she calmed me quite a bit. I asked her if I could take a xanax before surgery. I had asked my primary care doc and he said yes. Since I don't take them very often I never mentioned it to my os. I asked the surgical nurse. She said unless I'm really anxious don't take one, the vicodin should be enough but if I do feel I need one to calm down just tell them when I get there. The rest of the post is probably complete,,,,,,,,

EXCEPT, I wanted to mention to you to rely on your babies a lot to help calm you. I lost mine in March and miss her every single day. As my son always says there is no mistake that dog is God spelled backwards. The purest example of unconditional love.

 

[Butterfly]

@crystal5 So sorry you lost your furry friend in March. I don't think you ever stop missing the ones that have gone on. Are you going to get another one after you are recovered? I think it is wonderful to save a dog's life -- both of mine are rescues, and actually all but one mine have been. You can find a wonderful adult dog that has been in foster care and so is house trained, etc. There are a lot of them out there!

I cannot imagine living without a furry friend! They just bring me so much joy and companionship. I live alone, and sometimes if I wake up in the night, the sound of their quiet breathing nearby is just so comforting. I like having at least two, because they entertain each other (of course they can also get in trouble together). Once I carelessly left a pork roast on the counter while I went to the bathroom -- I came out to an empty platter and two smiling black labs with grease on their faces. Of course they both denied any involvement in the crime.

Anyway I'm coping with the prospect of surgery on Monday, Still a bit fearful for no particular reason. I guess I am more fearful that my blood pressure will be up that morning and they turn me away than of anything else. I simply cannot go on with all the pain and immobility, and I know I am in good hands -- great surgeon and good hospital. I've gotten great reports on both from everyone from acquaintances to other medical professionals -- even my vet. SO I am trying to let go of it, if you know what I mean.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and please do the same for me. And think about saving a homeless doggie to be your new best friend.

 

[Butterfly]

Red Shoe Well my surgery is Monday and I'm doing better than I thought I would be. I'm trying to think about other things. HA! Not so easy, but I'm trying to focus on stuff like being sure there is enough dog food, being sure my DIL knows what meds to give to the dogs while I am in the hospital and how to feed them. I got my hair trimmed and my toenails done (no polish), getting food for while I'm not able or willing to cook, etc.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers on Monday. Hope my blood pressure stays OK.

I'm sure you are stilll going great, and I am so glad you are.

Love, Milli

 

[Butterfly]

Jozilla BTW, every time I see your avatar I smile -- reminds me of my old boss on a good day.

I certainly understand your feelings of fear. I've been troubled with anxiety all my life and I hate it! I, too have been to counselors, even a shrink, in search of a way to control it. Nothing helped much, though I do take an antidepressant for the last few years, and it does seem to help some, though certainly not enough. I also find it difficult to trust. I mean I've always functioned well on the surface, in work, etc., but real trust is hard to get to.

A friend pointed out to me today that in surgery you are forced to trust in people who are really strangers and to actually put your life in their hands, and perhaps that is part of my problem, even though I know these strangers actually have my best interests at heart -- I mean they are professionals, do this every day, and certainly want their work to go well and don't want people croaking on their watch, etc. Didn't mean to get that grim.

Funny how it is easier to shop around for a good plumber than it is to shop around for good medical professionals to work on your own body!. I do know my plumber a lot better than I do my surgeon. I know my surgeon is very well thought of in the community, that he is supposed to be one of the very best, and I've had very good reports on him from people I know. SO I will trust him to do a good job.

I guess I am just a scaredy cat.

Please say a prayer for peace and healing for me on Monday. I really think I will be absolutely fine. I am more scared of the fear than I am of the surgery. Weird! I must really find a way to work through this anxiety issue I have. It serves no purpose and saps my energy.

Peace and love to you.

Milli