Bilateral TKR I Made It! (KneedKnees)

[karmigirl]

Very sorry state of affairs. I have a friend whose own mother stole their prescrip meds from their house while she was babysitting for them. Yes she does have a drug problem, but if it is your own family just think what it can be if it is strangers in the house.

 

[KneedKnees]

I don't have much time, in the midst of all of the hustle and bustle, but I wanted to let you know that my Dad came home yesterday. So far, everything is going quite well. The caregivers are wonderful, and the company we're working with has been great. There was a lot of work that went into getting him home, but it was completely worth it to see his face with a big grin when he got home. Plus, he sat in his recliner in the family room all afternoon, and was completely content and comfortable. What a blessing!

Mom is having a bit of a tough time "letting me go". I was there yesterday, but left early in the evening. I haven't been there today - we're leaving soon to go - because I'm trying to get her to see that the caregivers are there to do things for her, and I don't have to be there all of the time. I am pretty sure she thinks I've "dumped" her, but I'm just trying to take a step back since I've been so involved for so long. She needs to know she can rely on the caregivers. I want her to ask them to do the things I've been doing. That's what they're there for.

He's currently on 24/7 care, but we're hoping to change that soon. We don't really think he's going to need that much care for long. Someone will need to come in to do his tube feedings, but in the afternoon and overnight when he's sleeping, it should be fine without a caregiver there. Something else to get used to!

I'm really hoping my life will get back to some sense of normalcy! I need to devote more time to my teaching, and spend more time doing my housework. We cleaned the house up today, and it was a mess! I can now walk through the kitchen and living room without tripping over something. I also have my Christmas presents wrapped and ready to go. I'm impressed with that, since I did shopping for my parents and sister. I bought a dozen gifts for other people to give - did pretty well.

So...I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas! I'm going to enjoy spending time with my family and friends! I wish the same for all of you!

 

[Greda]

I am so glad your dad is home and he is doing well. It will take time for your Mom to get used to the caregivers but she will soon see how much they can help.
Have a Merry Christmas!
Greda

 

[KneedKnees]

It has been an interesting week with my Dad at home with Mom! While the caregivers have been there 24/7, Mom is still having a hard time letting them do their job. Though she does allow them to care for Dad, there are still things she wants to do, and things that she wants me to do! For example, she wants to feed my Dad, even though it means she can't eat at the same time (though the caregivers have offered). Another example is that she asks me to take ou tthe garbage, when the caregivers are perfectly capable and have offered to do it. These are relatively small things, but they're things that have got to change! I'm going to talk to the caregivers' company owner and ask if she can communicate with the caregivers so they try to offer to do some of these basic things before Mom either tries to do them or asks me to do them. They are not just there for my Dad, they're there for Mom as well, because she has congestive heart failure and is somewhat weak and tired as well. Thank you for letting me vent!


With all of the stress of getting things done at their house, getting supplies, doing all of the Christmas shopping for everyone in the family, I have had tension in my shoulders, especially on my left side. I'm waiting to hear from my massage therapist, and hopefully will get in today or tomorrow. However, the past several days have been rough with the shoulder/neck pain. I know I'm not having a heart attack, but with the pain being mainly on my left side, and in my shoulder/neck/back, I've been obssessing about it. I really need to get rid of the tension! Yeah, like that's going to happen any time soon!


I also wish I could get exercising more. I've got the bike in the basement, and don't have time to use it. I've got to carve out time for me to exercise - knees included. My OS gave me a prescription for another month of PT, and I haven't even had time to call and schedule it and that was almost 2 months ago.


Don't get me wrong - I love how much better my knees are! I can walk without a limp and I've even worn heels (low...but heels!), but I want more in time. I want to be able to walk up and down the stairs without pain! I want to be able to sit comfortably for a length of time without having to keep shifting. I just want the pain to be gone.


Anyway...I hope everyone had a great Christmas! God's blessings on a healthy and Happy New Year! :cheers_wine:

 

[Jamie]

Kneed....you are amazing!!! I cannot believe how well you did through all of this. It's no wonder you have some shoulder tension!!! I hope you can get to that massage soon....it's well deserved.

You are smart to try and resolve the caregiver issues quickly with your mom. The longer you are there and doing things, the harder it will be to change. She will get used to it.....it's just an adjustment and the compromise that must be made to have your dad home with her. Life is all about compromise....especially as we age.....she'll figure all this out with your gently help.

I wish you a good year for 2012!!!

 

[Greda]

Vent all you need to. Your mom has been used to leaning on you for sometime and it is easier to ask for your help than asking a stranger...I would think the caregivers have had this happen before and should be able to take over some of those tasks. You should definitely bring it to their attention.
It has to be a relief for your dad to be home. Have you tried heat on your shoulder/neck? I use heat on my jaw and where ever the pain radiates from there. I hope you are able to get a massage you definitely deserve some pampering.
Hope you and your family have a healthy and peaceful 2012!
Greda

 

[KneedKnees]

I just spent all day at my parents' house again. I went because the plumber was coming at 7:30 AM. He was late because the roads were slippery this morning. Then, the caregiver that was supposed to come at 8:00 AM called in sick (approximately 10 of the caregivers with the company have the flu!) so the overnight person stayed. Finally, I sent him home because he'd been there for 16 hours. I stayed with them until the next caregiver came at 3:30 PM. The owner of the company that provides our caregivers stopped in and we talked a little more about the level of care that both of my parents need. My mom is so tired from all of the activity that is happening at the house that she isn't able to do much at all. Since I have to go back to school next week Tuesday, I really need to know that everything is under control. And that I won't continue to get calls and have added responsibilities. I'm worried about going back to school. I feel that I'm still going to be doing extra "stuff" and I won't be able to put 100% into my teaching. It's not at all that I don't want to do things for my parents, I just need to know that when I'm not there, things are going to be taken care of.


In the meantime, I've had some pretty bad headaches in the past week, along with an upset stomach and shoulder and neck pain. I think it's some variety of flu, and I hope it's over! I have so much to do this week (what's left of it) and I can't afford to be sick.


My knees are "OK". Wishing the ROM would improve, but it's not going to until I do some exercising - and I can't seem to fit it in. Also wish that the stiffness would get better. I'm still only at just under 5 months post-op, but I'm definitely impatient for this to all be over - especially since there's so much else going on that needs my attention. And...work just gets busier now until the end of the school year!


Happy New Year everyone! :cheers_wine:

 

[referee54]

My knees are "OK". Wishing the ROM would improve, but it's not going to until I do some exercising - and I can't seem to fit it in. Also wish that the stiffness would get better. I'm still only at just under 5 months post-op, but I'm definitely impatient for this to all be over - especially since there's so much else going on that needs my attention. And...work just gets busier now until the end of the school year!

At 41/2 or 5 months I still had a slight limp after my BTKR; my knees were still a little tight. It wasn't until about 6 months or so that things really got much better---eight months before I was at 90%-95%. I completely understand your frustration; I was there, too. Hang in there; it will get better.

 

[KneedKnees]

Thank you Tim! I AM frustrated, but probably more so with myself for not finding the time to exercise! The issues with my parents have become so paramount that little else seems important - least of all my knees. I KNOW I need to take the time to take care of myself, but my needs seem minute compared to the things that my parents have needed. And, as I've said before, by the time I finally get home and rest, I'm soooo tired that it's all I can do to sit and eat, and then go to bed. I'm really hoping and praying that things settle into a routine soon, and my Mom will feel more comfortable with "how things are". Then, she won't feel as much of a need for me to be there all of the time.

I knew when I went into this that recovery could take up to a year, so I didn't walk into it blindly. However, I didn't know then, that the year (the last 4 months) would be as hectic as it has been. I'm hoping that the next 6 months will be a bit smoother, and I can find time to take care of myself and my knees!

 

[Jazyb]

Hi KK, I'm sorry that life is still tricky for you and so busy. I did wonder how it would work out with your Dad going home; I hope once life has got into a more normal pattern for your parents it will be easier for all concerned. I have worrying issues with my Mum at the moment, so I know how you feel. I'm thinking of you and wish you a Happy New Year.

 

[KneedKnees]

Jo, Thank you! Happy New Year to you as well!

I hope that the "tricky" things with your Mom work out as well as possible, soon, so you don't have any worries with your surgery just days away.

Things are still tricky here, but my Mom is taking things in stride and we're all handling things as well as possible! My Dad has fallen three times since he's been home, but mostly because the caregivers are having trouble transferri him because he's lost so much strength. We're hoping to get a "sit to stand" machine in the house to transfer him more successfully. Plus, he begins PT at home tomorrow morning. My Mom has said that she wonders if we made the right decision bringing him home, but I remind her of a couple of things. First, he was home for Christmas, and you could tell he really enjoyed the day. Second, if he were still at the nursing home, he would be no better off than he is at home - in that he wouldn't be with family all of the time, she couldn't be with him overnight, and he wouldn't get individualized care there as he is at home. I also pointed out that, depending on how much time he has left, wouldn't it be better to spend it at home? She agreed, but keeps second-guessing our decision to bring him home. As we continue to get used to having him home, and get used to the caregivers, I think things will continue to get better.

Jo - I hope things go well for you!

 

[Greda]

KK,
I am sure your Mom will be second guessing the decision often. Her life has changed so drastically. She hasn't really had time to let all the changes sink in. I am sure it is that way for you as well. You will just have to be the voice of reason and remind her again.
I really hope that things start going smoother for you and things get in a routine. I hope school goes well for you tomorrow. My husband goes back to work tomorrow too. It has been nice to have some 3 day weekends, but back to the real world.
Happy 2012!
Greda

 

[Jamie]

KK....please don't beat yourself up about not doing any formal exercises. Believe me...with your activity level, THAT is exercise!!!! You are not really all that far out from surgery and a BTKR definitely takes more time for healing than just one knee. So, as I see it, you are doing just fine with your recovery.

It's still amazing to me that you've been able to do everything that you have for your family. You are amazing and I just hope you can lessen the load here soon. You are in my prayers.

As for your mom second guessing the decision to bring your dad home, remember that being a caregiver (and she is one, even though she has 24 hour help) is VERY stressful. It's a 24-7 job that never ends. She worries, she fusses over him.....plus I'm sure there are many things she does for him as well as home chores that add up to a lot on her shoulders too. Go easy on her....it's a HUGE adjustment and it will take some time to see how things are going to really work out.

((((HUGS))))) to you!

 

[daisycats]

Can your mom get out and have a break sometime? That may help her not feel so overwhelmed. It is also hard having strangers in your house 24/7 even if they are helping. Your doing great

 

[Jazyb]

Hi KK

I did wonder if your Mum would be ok but as everyone has said it is a big change in her life and she will need time to get used to it. I think you said just the right things to her. Laurie is right about maybe getting her away from the house, even for just a coffee, a break away can really lift spirits.

As Jamie has said I don't know how you do it - you are amazing!!

My Mum is such a worry to me at the moment, she is slipping into a confused state of mind so often now. She stayed with us over Christmas and we were able to see her at different times of the day with so much confusion - all very worrying. My hubby has told me that he will take care of her while I am out of action but it's still a big worry as she is my Mum and I feel responsible. All very bad timing with my knee op but I guess that is life - challenging at times

Take care and keep us posted xxxxx

 

[kneeper]

Can your mom get out and have a break sometime? That may help her not feel so overwhelmed. It is also hard having strangers in your house 24/7 even if they are helping. Your doing great

That sounds like a good idea. It doesn't even have to be for long at a time.

 

[KneedKnees]

Mom and I went grocery shopping last week, and she and my sister went out for lunch this week, so she has gotten out a bit. It seems to have helped a little bit. She is beginning to realize that there is a "new normal" for their lives, and I'm hoping she's starting to accept it.

Dad was at the emergency room this morning. He took a drink to help stop coughing, and aspirated some of the water. They checked his lungs, and everything was okay, so he came back home. That's great news, however, he still has a UTI and probably an upper respiratory infection. Of course, it will take him longer to fight the infections, but we're praying for him!

MY BIG EXCITING KNEE NEWS! I was walking in the halls at school yesterday and realized that my knees didn't hurt AT ALL!!! It was amazing. Then, I wondered how long it has been, and realized that it was 5 months to the day after my surgery! I thought it was just a great coincidence that it was so evident that I noticed it on that particular day! Yay!!!

 

[referee54]

MY BIG EXCITING KNEE NEWS! I was walking in the halls at school yesterday and realized that my knees didn't hurt AT ALL!!! It was amazing. Then, I wondered how long it has been, and realized that it was 5 months to the day after my surgery! I thought it was just a great coincidence that it was so evident that I noticed it on that particular day! Yay!!!

I know that feeling quite well! Congratulations on your successes to date---and your successes yet to come!

You will continue to improve and FEEL EVEN BETTER!

 

[Jamie]

What an upper of a post, KK......hope this is just the start of better days for you! I'll keep your dad in my prayers, though. Hopefully he can get past those infections!

 

[Josephine]

Fab-u-lous! I am delighted for you!