THR Hip number 2 on board

[Kay9]

Hi all, thanks for your good wishes today. Was a horrible day, am exhausted. To be honest, Im not even sure whats happened, its all jargon and section 2 of this act or that act. But basically he got a suspended sentence, £298.00 fine plus costs and a restraining order not to approach me or contact me either in person or by social media or other means. They wouldnt stop him coming to the area because his Mother lives here and apparently he "cares" for her Which I know is rubbish, but he's not allowed to be less than 100m away from me, indefinitely.
I was hoping he would be not allowed into the village at all, but I guess I just have to accept Im going to still be seeing him around.

Oh well. At least he cant come close to me or sit on my wall etc. and thats better than nothing but not the outcome I wanted really.
Shower and food then bed for me I think, am really tired of thinking. Thanks everyone, you are the bomb

 

[Hipster Girl]

@Kay9 sorry to hear about the less than ideal outcome in court today - how exasperating that must be! It sounds like he got away with a slap on the wrist quite frankly. Not fair at all. Hopefully he will abide by the court order and not come any closer than 100m from you.

 

[DeepBreath]

(((@Kay9))) I am disappointed for you re: the court outcome. I wish you never had to see him again. I am sending good wishes that you do not have any more encounters with him as you go about your business.
Take care, hippie friend.

 

[webbie73]

Oh. My word!! I just popped over to the hip recovery forum to check up on my hip friends. I had my knee replacement the same day you had your hip surgery.

Huge HUG going out to you.

 

[copsham]

Hi @Kay9
Just popping in for a few minutes - will PM my letter sent re hospital compalint tomrrow.
I do love the suspended sentence - if he breaks the injunction it means arrest and prison straight away!

 

[Tiffany57]

At least it's over now!
I echo what @copsham says...but it will be up to you to report any breaking of the order. Have a camera ready, just in case .....
Sending peaceful wishes and sweet dreams to you

 

[Legin]

The law my dear is a cross between a.donkey and a horse. The thing tho if he breaks conditions get him as fines will increace

Legin THR Sep 14

 

[Suzette]

HI @Kay9 sorry have not been around much lately, so just caught up with your thread, I am glad that bit is out the way for you and that he does as he is told...and if he doesn't do what you need to do xx

Hope your hip is doing well and happy you a back with your daughter and grand child, are you still doing the holiday next year?


That will be great x x

 

[Tiffany57]

I had a stalker, many moons ago now. I made the mistake of being 'nice' ( i.e.: saying Hi and other general acknowledgments) to a guy who hung around the market where I had my stall. He mostly collected recyclables from the bins and did a bit of cleaning up. Anyway, he latched onto me like a limpet and would take every opportunity to hang around and chat, when I was meant to be serving my customers. His appearance put everyone off....very unkempt and dirty, bad teeth, unshaven etc. I had to ask him not to come into my stall during trading. He took no notice, of course. Took to inappropriate gift-giving (rings and even, undies!!) He'd turn up outside my house and literally bay at the moon. He suffered some kind of breakdown and should have been in hospital, but instead chose to march up and down in front of my stall, 'singing' in a horribly menacing guttural tone, How Much Is That Doggy In The Window?.
I can't listen to that tune to this day
This went on for years until I moved a long way away

 

[Legin]

I do feel sorry for you guy as I have said I have been there.
Kay9 I hope you are OK and not retreating in on yourself as result of the case thing. I'm here if ya need to rant lass

Legin THR Sep 14

 

[Kay9]

Hi everyone, thanks for all your posts, they are all appreciated

Its been pretty horrible here, he's around all the time. He hasnt approached me or come any closer than he should, but hes just...well...always there. He calls out "hello" or waves. Im just ignoring him but its not nice. One of his family members drinks in the village pub and when I was in there had a bit of a go at me, saying that because of me, his brother wasnt allowed to come into the pub anymore because he would be breaking the restraining order. Like its my fault. I said if he thinks Im going to stay away so his brother can go in there, he is off his head! Anyway, lots of people backed me up and the Landlord told him to be quiet or leave.

I know its only a matter of time before I walk around a corner and bump into him or he does approach me or something, its too small a village to viably work any other way really, but Im not letting him stop me going about my business. I will go where I want, when I want, Im not the one in the wrong. ( dont worry @Legin , its sweet of you to be concerned but Im not the "retreating" type. I know youre there if I need to rant, as always, I love you for that)


Omg @Tiffany57 that sounds really alarming!What a nutter! You shouldnt have had to move away to make him stop, but Im glad you did, who knows what he couldve done! Its so wrong how people are allowed to do stuff like that, and sad for them too if they need help. You may well have had a lucky escape!

Hi @Suzette, love your picture, you pretty lady. Yep alls good with my Daughter and Grandson ( he is adorable but VERY strong-willed, like his Mummy lol) . Still going on holiday Cant wait .

Yep @Hipster Girl it was a bit disappointing that he didnt get more than what amounted to a slap on the wrist really, but at least he's realised that I WILL take action

Hi @DeepBreath thanks for your kindness, I wish I never had to see him again either but oh well. At least Im only having to see him from a distance, even if he is calling out to me, although like I said, Im expecting to bump into him at some point, so will see what happens then. Maybe I can just knee him in a delicate spot and run away

Hi @webbie73 thanks for posting, and I hope your knee is recovering as well as my hip is, Ive heard Knee surgery is even harder to recover from, so I wish you lots of love and luck

Hi @copsham yep, prison straight away hopefully, if ( when) he breaks the restraining order. Bread and water for him

Well, as for my hip, Im doing great. No sticks anymore, no limp, and as of yesterday Im back driving short distances. Im in no pain at all except for the last few nights only, its waking me up a few times a night aching, but Im guessing its because its gone quite cold here and possibly the cold has got into it a bit ( they both ache at night, not just the latest one). Does it work like that, ie, cold making hip replacements achy?
Apart from that, its all good. Im thinking of possibly going back to work in a week or so if I carry on feeling ok, just easy jobs for now though.

Hope all my happy hippy friends are doing well.

 

[HipSurprise]

I do hope your stalker will heed the warnings and obey the order. Too bad he can't go in the same pub as you, and if the relative gives you more heck, then get them thrown out, too! Yeah, I'm feisty, these days!!

Good to know you're walking so well! I'm not sure about how cold weather would affect the hip replacements, but it does affect all the muscles and nerves and other bones in one's pelvic area and back!

Keep taking care of yourself! Hugs to everyone!

 

[DeepBreath]

(((@Kay9))) I thought he was in the village because his mother lived there and he needs to visit her? If so, what's he doing hanging out in a pub? Grrrr...this aggravates me for you!
If you *do* have to knee him, at least you have two good hips now so you can make a swift getaway.
Hang tough, hippie friend. I hope he doesn't become even more of a nuisance, but if he does at least you can legally call him on it. Take care.

 

[Legin]

Just about to go to work. Hmmmmm but by still focusing on you ie waiting shouting isn't he breaking the intent of the order as he is still bothering you. Keep a log pal. Note witnesses who are present.

Legin THR Sep 14

 

[copsham]

Hi @Kay9

Glad your hips, over all are doing good.

I wish I were there with you.... witnessing, recording, supporting! But do please record everything. Individually saying "hello" sounds like nothing but if you have recorded that and a million other things over a week or two, the case does build up. I know it suprised me when I recorded everything - the case then becomes stronger than you think.

Bring on the Bonesmart gang - we are with you!!

 

[Kay9]

Hi @HipSurprise , lol feisty, I like it, Im feisty too. Im just guessing about the cold getting into the hips, I may be way off though. I HATE being cold! I like it hot, I should be living in a hot climate really. The first sign of cold weather and Im wearing a fur hat and carrying a hot water bottle

Hi @DeepBreath yep he only visits his family here, he doesnt live here and never has. His brother doesnt live here either, only his Mum but the brother does drink in the village pub a few times a week, so does he. Ive never had any problem with his brother before, even when he knew Id reported his brother he still spoke and was civil to me, and has even tried speaking to his brother and telling him to stop harassing me. So it was a bit of a surprise that he got funny with me. . Weirdly though, I drove past him this morning and he waved! Im not bothered by him, as long as his annoying brother stays away its fine.

Their Mother is having an 80th birthday do in the pub next weekend so obviously I will tell them I'll stay away then, I cant expect her Son not to go to his own Mothers birthday because of me ( although the Landlord has said he doesn't particularly want him in there) so I will avoid going anywhere near there while the party is going on.

@Legin I dont think hes breaking the order by calling out to me? I will look into that though. I guess he can always say he was calling out to someone else though...Mr Invisible, lol, because theres rarely many people walking around the village. But I will log all the times he does it ( like you said @copsham ) because if it shows it happens all the time it might help to build a case if he doesnt stop.
I must admit I feel more vulnerable without my dogs here, so Ive been looking into getting a rescue dog as soon as my holiday is over ( theres a lovely American Bulldog in a rescue, its been there 3 years so far waiting for the right home, so the chances are it will probably still be there in 5 months time after my holiday. If he is, he is mine)
Ive thought about fostering dogs until the holiday..only problem with that is I know I wouldn't be able to let them go when the time comes for them to go to a new home. But there are two dogs that need foster homes urgently, a Ridgeback ( person. Just like my baby) and a Mastiff. They have to go together, so its hard for the rescue to find a foster home willing to take on 2. I am SO SO tempted.

Hip-wise, not having quite as good a day today because I tripped over someones shopping basket in M&S ( who puts a shopping basket down on the floor directly behind someone! stupid ) and I twisted awkwardly as I fell. Its been sore ever since. I dont think Ive done anything to it, but it does hurt big-time. Driving home was painful so Im icing and resting again now. Hopefully its just a blip and I will be back to normal tomorrow

Hope everyone is well and almost ready for Christmas Unlike me, who leaves everything until xmas eve then panic buys

 

[Legin]

It was I read it that he could comento village to see his mum, is his mum next to you. If not why is he there

Legin THR Sep 14

 

[DeepBreath]

@Kay9, it sounds like both he and his brother have issues. I agree that him calling out to you goes against the intent of the order. It's like a cruel jab, "I'm here!" and it's highly inappropriate.
I'm sending out tons of good thoughts for you. I hope this can be resolved. You deserve better than having this person haunting your life.
Take care, Kay9. *Hugs*

 

[Kay9]

Hi @Legin, no his Mum doesnt live right by me, its about 5 minutes walk away though. He doesnt have to come up to the part I live in at all, and hasn't since we went to court, but he does walk his Mums westie around the village. It means if I walk in the village, ie to get eggs from the farm or go to the pub, theres a chance I see him. He hasnt attempted to approach me, but I know roughly how far away 100 meters would be and Im pretty certain he was closer than that a few times. The first time he called out and waved I was trying in my mind to work out how far away he must've been, for me to hear him, but its not easy to work out. The victim support lady I spoke to after the case told me 100meters was a decent distance? Its so hard to judge it though, Im not very good at measurements
Ive seen him when Ive driven down the road in my car but I dont know how that can be avoided to be honest, or how I stand with the 100meter thing if Im driving and have to drive past him. He waves but I pretend I dont see him and I just look straight ahead. Actually, writing this now, I dont see how this restraining order can ever work. Its practically impossible to ALWAYS be 100meters away from him, unless I stay up my end of the village,don't drive anywhere, don't walk anywhere or go to the pub at all. I guess he thinks that as long as he doesn't walk up my way at all, he's keeping to his end of the bargain, and if I inadvertently come across him, thats my own fault?
My closest friend lives a few doors down from his Mum and I haven't been there because of him, but she comes here so thats not a problem, but another friend of mine is agoraphobic and lives right across the street from his Mum, so I dont see her at the moment, which is sad. Again, I dont know where I would stand if I did go to see her and bumped into him...because I would forcing him to break the restraining order? Its a bit of a mess.

Having said all that, Im thankful he hasn't come up to my part of the village, so I guess in his own dumb way he is TRYING to obey the order, even if he is waving at me when he sees me. i just have to thankful for small mercies I suppose. Another friend told me she heard a rumour that he was applying for jobs on Oil Rigs...that would be brilliant!! So much for needing to be here to "care" for his poor old Mum though, eh?

 

[Kay9]

Hi @DeepBreath , we were cross posting then, hope you are doing ok, thanks for your kind words as always.

Ive never had a problem with his brother before now, I actually quite liked him, but I guess his loyalties lay with his brother and he's decided Im a harlot or something. Oh well...I can live with that. Ive got many friends here and know Im more popular than him so I wont lose sleep over him ditching me as a friend.