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PKR Bj Mac's Recovery

I love my dogs--I have four and have three waiting for me. I know that the Bible says that we were put on earth to have dominin--to take care of the animals. I do think, however, that God thought that we may need some help every now and then---taking care of ourselves---so he put dogs on the earth for us.

Four dogs helped me get through my BTKR; one has gone on, but we rescued another. The dogs here---and i am sure that this is true every where---sense our moods and needs and somehow work to meet them.
 
BJ, I remember staying at our son's and DIL's house with our grandson and their dog, Lady, they had just lost their older dog, George, a beagle, and Lady was completely lost. She would sleep at the end of the bed, I awoke in the middle of the night to her sobbing, she actually made a human crying sound, it broke my heart! They got a rescue dog shortly after to fill the void in their lives, now Lady is not doing well and we know that the younger one knows something's not right because she's not playful with him like she use to be. It just breaks our hearts.
 
Long, hard, sad day. Misty and I walked again, and she went for another car ride with me, today.

Dear friends, please pray that I will begin to get more sleep. I have slept very little in the last week and am exhausted and extra emotional. I was on my skis yesterday and my shakey legs declared that they need lots more work to get the endurance level up. I am on my way. Well, my lack of sleep probably played in to the fact that my skiing legs are not very strong too.
 
Awww I'm so sorry BJ. I wonder if you need to have a small service, just yourself and Misty or best friend/family. We do this for people to help heal those that are left. You need to know that Snowball is at peace now and out of pain and the fear she had from blindness. She isn't mad at you BJ. She is resting in heaven. Now you need to rest here on earth so you can continue to heal and be there for Misty and yourself and family.
Do you go to a gym or have access to one of the those ski exercise machines? Or I am sure you know ski strengthening exercises. Would it help to build up your legs by using exercycle or snowshoes?
I don't know...I feel that you are grieving and having trouble due to the trauma of what you went through with losing Snowball. I just want to hug you and go sit with you while you talk about it. I wish we all lived closer to each other. :console2:
I think your body will let you sleep soon. Do you think maybe you have some PTSD? Hugs to you BJ
 
BJ, when we are going through a trauma, like divorce, we are sometime so vulnerable to grief and sleeplessness. Many people, myself included, mourn their pets with all the grief they did not show at , in my case, my dad's funeral. I cried buckets for that dog and I realized that his death had released so much unexpressed grief. Our pets serve us even in their deaths---allowing us to mourn and shed those tears which help us cope.

BJ, you have been through a lot this fall---be easy on yourself. It will take some time to get over this---give yourself some opportunities to rest and forget about that perfect life that does not really exist. But,speaking of perfection, you got on snow!! Yay, of course your legs were shaky---who do you think you are superwoman??? Everyone in my ski school talks about shaky legs those first few times out---that is what early December is for, after all, Practice!

We have orientation on Thursday--ugh an all day event. We have to be there at nine for our uniforms and then, don't have anything until 11. I will have lots of time to arrange my locker. You won't believe how adventurous I am this year---I moved my locker to a different location----I realized I had had the same locker for eight years!!! Most of the folks on that row are the old timers like me. I moved my locker because I realized I do not even know the names of some of the new kids----so this way, I will have to talk to them more instead of saying in my safe corner with my old friends. I have opened a door!

We open on Dec 8---but, I am afraid we will have to take a chair up---ski on our north side and then download since I am not sure we have enough snow all the way to the bottom. That is grueling for us since our locker room is at the very bottom of the village. We will have to drive up to a higher chair and then walk down, carrying skis after skiing. Talk about shaky legs---I am too old to walk a half mile with skis and in boots and downhill too.

We have 30 inches of snow at the bottom of our north side, but only a foot or so on the south side which is where the village is located. We have 3000 skiable acres, but we will se what is open on Saturday. I am so jealous that you guys are open ahead of us. Have you had a lot of snow already?

BJ, winter is here, my favorite season. When I cannot sleep, I exercise at night---it helps to put me to sleep. Don't fight sleep---if you wake up, just get up until you are sleepy---no need to toss and turn all night. Why not give yourself a half hour or so a day to remember your dog and to mourn her. Then try to turn your mind to other things. Clean out closets if you have to---vacuum the living room, whatever it takes to begin moving again. I am sorry, truly, life is hard sometimes, but it is also fun, don't forget that part too. Kelly
 
Kelly :goodpost:Also I think that was great about moving your locker. It's such a small thing but it's a big thing! It so much easier to stay in our comfort zone.
It is really helpful to see how busy you are and athletic now that you are 2 and 3 years out from surgery. It gives us hope. I will never hit the downhill slopes but just give me some walking/hiking legs again!
Hope BJ got some sleep last night.
 
Kelly, Thanks! You are right, so very much is going on in my life and all these hard things overlap. I am mourning the death of my marriage and the death of my dog and it sometimes seems like things blend back and forth.

I guess I subconsciously do expect to be superwoman, I think that I have always expected that of myself...lol I was just really glad that my supervisor suggested lunch break when she did.

Congrats on being brave enough to step out of your comfort zone and move your locker. I am out of my comfort zone on skis. I was wishing that I was over with the snowboarders, but instead I was with the rookie ski instructors feeling really awkward.

We only have 8-24 inches of snow, but this week is warm and today is rainy and that does not help. I was walking with neighbors today and they were glad that it was so warm. I was not. I want it to be cold enough for all of this rain to be snow.

We did not expect to be opened this soon. We got an e-mail mid week informing us that they wanted us there and booted up, ready to go by 9:00am Saturday. My daughter and I could not be there because she had to take SATs and we had planned a party for Saturday evening. So, I e-mailed back and told them that we would try to be on the mountain sometime Sunday. I was glad that we did not do a full day. I will keep working out this week and hope that each week I will be stronger and stronger. They are only opened on the weekend for now.

I also love winter. I will try to get up and do something when I cannot sleep, instead of just laying there frustrated. I will also remember to have fun. I am learning to be deliberate about planning fun times and activities and to enjoy life.

Thanks so much for your encouragement Kelly.
 
I took some new pictures of my dog and grand-dogs today. Well, I guess that technically they are all my grand-dogs... but anyway here they are.

[Bonesmart.org] Bj Mac's Recovery [Bonesmart.org] Bj Mac's Recovery [Bonesmart.org] Bj Mac's Recovery [Bonesmart.org] Bj Mac's Recovery
 
BJ, my condolences on the loss of your beloved dog Snowball. It is so hard to lose a pet.
My husband went skiing today, said it was raining/snowing all the way to the top over 9000 ft. He did say the skiing was fun in any case. We are expecting another warm rainy storm the next few days.
I have found since my TKR I do many things differently, park on the other side of the parking lot at work, sit at a different desk, have a new schedule, and am around different people. All in all a nice change.
 
Thanks Chris, Misty is the dog that I still have. If you look further back in my thread you will find pictures of Misty and Snowball. It is Snowball that I lost last week. Misty is sad and sticks to my side these days. The other two dogs there, Sammy and Dexxy, belong to and live with my oldest son. Misty belongs to my second son, but he is away at college and she still lives with me.

I am glad to hear that your husband enjoyed his skiing in spite of the rain/snow.

Change can be good, but I find it difficult, especially as I have so much change in my life right now. I am making new friends and trying to do things differently these days. After spending the last 28 years raising 4 children and homeschooling a great deal of those years my youngest will graduate and go off to college next year, and I will be single. I am looking forward to that change, and yet it will so different, and at the same time just one more change...
 
Marianne, Thanks! I am doing more exercising. I would love to go out for coffee and visit and receive those hugs. Wouldn't that be nice if we all lived closer? Your caring means a lot.
 
You granddogs are so cute! They are well behaved too to pose in those pics for you.

All this talk about skiing makes me miss it. I learned to ski at age 2 and loved it. But due to my knees being so bad so young I stopped at age 19 and haven't hit the slopes since. I wonder if once I am fully recovered if I will be able to get back out there. I hadn't even thought about that until now. I was just looking forward to walking like a normal person and riding a bike. Lol!

Losing a pet is never an easy thing. If you are like me, it hurts more than losing a close relative because that pet is with you daily and shows you unconditional love more than any person ever could. Unfortunately, death is a part of life and we have to suffer through it several times in our lives. It doesn't make it easier, but it is how you handle that death and grief that makes you stronger. Misty will definitely need a new friend to help move on and so will you. That doesn't mean you are replacing Snowball. It just means you are helping to bring happiness in a time of sadness.

I am sorry you are going through so many difficult times right now. I hope that 2013 brings you a much better year! Keep on keeping on!
 
Thanks Shelly, The dogs do look very well behaved and Misty sits very well and obediently, but the other two... I needed to resort to a "photographers trick", that I learned, to keep them together.

Well, who knows maybe one day you will be able to ski again. You will be happy come next spring with all the things that you will be able to do like nice long walks and biking.

I am not in any hurry to get another dog as I have no idea where I will be living come next year. For now Misty and I will adjust to a 'new normal'. I have taken up taking her for walks, which I hadn't done for quite some time because I could not, and she did have Snowball to run and play with in the yard. Although their running and playing had slowed down quite a lot and Misty had put on a few pounds. Now she and I can walk and work off our extra pounds that we have gained from our recent sedentary lifestyle. That is a 'win win' situation for both of us. Yay!!!

Thanks for your encouragement. I shall keep on keeping on. I am in the doldrums today and need to drag myself out of bed and on with my day... :sad:
 
BJ What is your photographers trick? My best friend has a Cavalier King Charles. They are the sweetest most loving little dogs! Your photo is classic, the youngest one is whispering in Mommy's ear!
I hadn't realized you are also recovering from a divorce. You have really had it both physical and emotional. You are right, that is a lot of change! I think you are doing great! And you are getting stronger and stronger as days go by. Good for you for taking the time to help others as you move through your own journey. xoxoxox
 
Hugs BJ! Sorry life is throwing so many things at you all at once. I just got my first dog in almost 20 years, and I have only had the little guy for 3 months now and I can't imagine life without him now. Big hugs to you and I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved dog. Hugs!
 
BJ, I spoke to my husband about you this am. Our little dog, Bennie--who is a golden retriever/corgi mix has been ill for the past two days. He has been in the hospital and the Vet er. So far, $1000. Last night, his back legs would not work. Today, we took him to the vet again who thinks he has a disc pressing on his spinal column.

We have opted for more conservative treatment---steroids, morphine for his pain and rest. At the end of two days we will decide---we may need to put him down if his paralysis is permanent. The vet wants us to take him to Seattle for a MRI and possible surgery----but we are just not sure that we can afford the price. After seeing what $1000 bought, I am sure that the bill in Seattle would be more in the $5000 range. the MRI is $2000. Bennie is so young, he is only six---i cannot believe that his life may be over. The vet talked about carts and us having to help with his bladder and bowels. So hard, Bob is fairly infirm, he cannot even lift Bennie up. Right now there are a lot of unknowns but, in our house, a lot of sadness too. I just read my post to you----I guess I will have to take my own advice.

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Oh dear, Yes Kelly, Life is very hard sometimes. I am so sorry to hear about Bennie's problems. That is so sad. I will pray for you, Bennie and Bob. These are hard decisions to make. I was blessed in not having to make those hard calls.

Snowball was 15 and losing weight, not stomaching her food well and the vet suggested a sonogram.(this was several months ago) When I asked how much that would cost, she told me $800-$1000. I did have to make a call at that point. Knowing that Snowball was old made it easier. I opted to feed her the rice and chicken that the vet recommended and not to spend that money for testing and then the next, which may be surgery... I chose to take her home and love her and feed her and make her as comfortable as possible. Then our accident took further decisions out of my hands. She went quickly and that was a blessing. Extremely Painful, and yet a blessing.

Hang in there Kelly, Bennie is such a cutie. :console2:
 
Marianne, I fastened their collars together for a short time with a ball bungee.
The dogs are confused at first as they cannot move freely on their own. They look confused, then they settle down and sit nicely next to each other and even lay down together and look very sweet. In no time flat you can take adorable pictures and release them to run and play and reward them with a treat. Sammy and Dexxy are sweet hearts. They are 5 and 3 years old, Misty is 8 and is glad when they take their 'puppy-like' energy and go back home...lol.

Yes, I am in the process of divorce and it is very hard. Hard on me, hard on the family... just plain hard. This is definitely not something that I signed up for and yet it is where I am. Life is hard.

And yet there is fun to be had as well and it is something that is necessary to help us to keep going sometimes.

Thanks again for your encouragement.
 
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