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THR And so, I Continue

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Today will be a recovery day. A little tired from the flurry of activity yesterday. Doctors visit in the AM, some yard work during mid-day and took the girls to the pool in the evening. Non-op hip is aggravated with me today. Perhaps I should call the hips the following: Mr. Right (new right hip) and Mr. Wrong (old left hip that needs some work):heehee:.

Girls have 2 more half days of school, then they are off for the summer. Saturday the wife, girls, MIL, SIL and her family all head for the beach. I am staying with the dogs. Partially because I am not ready for that kind of a trip just yet and partially because our dogs are a bit of handful to take care of and are not able to be boarded. Hoping this is the last family vacation I have to miss for a while.
 
gullimac said:
Hoping this is the last family vacation I have to miss for a while.
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This time next year all will be done and dusted. You should plan a celebration holiday!

Sounds like you did a lot yesterday. Well done! Enjoy your rest day.
 
BoneSmart friends,

Thank you for the tremendous support over the last 6+ months. This has been such a long process for me and I am not sure how I would have made it through without you. There were so many times that I needed a kind word, a sympathetic shoulder or just a safe place to vent. BoneSmart was that place for me. Read (or re-read) my pre-op thread if you doubt me. There were some hippies that may have reached out only once (or twice) that made a big difference on my mind set, or the direction that I ultimately took.

6 months ago the idea of having a THR was just an obscure concept. I knew it was something I needed, but it was way off in the future. It seemed like a pipe dream that was so far away. It was a concept that kept me going, though. I had always been so target driven. Get to the the end of...the day so I could go to play in the big game (early 20's)...end of the week so I could go to the big party (late 20's), end of the month to go out to trivia with my wife and friends (early 30's)...end of the week so I can just relax (mid 30's)[warning that by this point my weekend was reduced to Sunday's only 8 months of the year due to the nature of my job], to the weekend so I can rest (late 30's)...end of the week so I can sit down...end of the day because my legs hurt...end of the day because my hip hurts...end of the school year because I am in agony due to this horrible hip pain. Then it dissolves into a string of well thought out and carefully orchestrated obscenities that I am too embarrassed to rehash....So many of you have provided info, encouraged me, talked me off the ledge, allowed me to vent, or put things in to proper perspective. I can never thank any one person enough, so I will settle for thanking everyone at once.

Having a THR has been a tremendous blessing. My right hip feels SO much better. The last month has been a blessing and a whirlwind. Part of it was a blur. Part of it was frustratingly slow. I have experienced hopefulness and despair (often minutes apart).

Now I am in an odd place.

I have always gotten depressed at the end of the weekend, much like so many people. I go into a mini-depression at the end of a good book or a movie. I go into mourning at the end of a good TV show. Moving toward the end of my recovery from THR has been rough. Returning to work will be very tough. It needs to happen. But I would be lying if I did not admit I am depressed about returning to work.

I have benefitted greatly from being home and being available for my girls. I know now, more than ever, that I have to find some balance. I want to be a presence in their lives and not some guy that just talked about listening to their mom. Lecturing on how awesome their mother is and how not every kid in the world has that is not enough.

My children are tremendously different from each other. I have one that I am tremendously jealous of. She has somehow inherited a part of my brother. He has NEVER met a stranger. She is tremendously social and will reach out and make friends. Neither my wife nor I are that way. I would worry she might be the milk mans kid, but there are too many other traits that make it glaring obvious that this kid is mine. As my Sister-in-Law (and wife) are fond of saying there is no doubt that Maury Povich would conclude she is mine. We are similar enough that I "get her" most of the time.

Kid #2 is me to a T. There is absolutely no chance anyone would believe she is not mine. Maury's talents would be grievously wasted on proving paternity here. She is a tomboy like her mom, but she is sensitive and emotional like me.

I can figure out how to reach #1 and push her because we are similar. I struggle with #2 because we are too much alike. If I were to ever think I "got her", I can not imagine the damage I would have done. I can't manage myself without help, so there is no way I can manage her. We are either in sync with eachother, or are irrationally unable to deal with eachother. The teenage years are going to be a joy (if I can make it that far).

Being "unavailable" to work the last month has been a tremendous benefit to my family. But I feel like I have personally benefitted from this more. This is going to come to an end quickly. I really hope that I can continue to bridge the gap with them as I return to work.

Knowing myself very well, I will start the transition to thinking of myself as Pre-op on hip #2 very soon. I wanted to make sure before I head back to that mindset that I thank those of you that have reached out to me.
 
You have very beautifully expressed so many things about this whole process and how much Bonesmart has helped get us all through it, @gullimac. Thank you for taking the time to share your feelings so eloquently.

And it's so good to read how much you have benefitted from having more time with your daughters. They are truly blessed to have two awesome parents.

I know you will continue to make a great recovery and look back on the THR as the life-changing event it is.
 
I am so glad you were able to get some positives out of this recovery besides the physical. Often there are these times in our lives that wake us up and make us want to change. Having your second hip done you will have more time with your girls and feel even more able to assist at home and not rest so much which I feel will make you feel even more of a helpful dad.
Embrace these feelings and remember them as work gets busy again and just remember we are always here.


Candice, 29 yo. Rheumatoid Arthritis. Australia. Sequential unilateral THR June 1st 2016 and July 13th 2016 :)
 
@gullimac - Thank you for being so honest and open with your feelings and experience. Amazing, isn't it, how pre-surgery and post-surgery are about so much more than just the medical? Please continue to keep us updated as we are in this thing called life together. God bless you and your family.
 
@gullimac - we've all followed your journey thus far and witnessed your struggle. A struggle we all know and recognise in ourselves. The anxieties related to preOp, the wait while trying to cope with pain, the what ifs ...... and then the recovery process which carries initial elation and then the highs and lows of good and less good days. All of which you've ridden and which every Smartie understands either emotionally or personally. It is essentially a group effort to help one another through. And it works! No doctor's surgery could possibly offer what this marvellous site hands out by the wheelbarrow. Your return to work concerns are completely understandable. You've had a period of respite at home recovering which has given you a great time to share with your girls. Don't overlook the fact that they have a new Dad now, one with one heeled hip already and another to come which will alter his outlook on life and enable so much more in terms of activity.
You and I (and others) are at the same stage of looking towards our second hip and FREEDOM!
 
Caught up on your thread while sitting in the hospital after hip two. Really appreciate your look at the positives. Spending the six weeks at home brought me a realization ..my hubby is retired as of January and since I am younger I just figured I would be working the next seven years. But I realized being at home isn't that bad, I am very social but I a am sure I can find groups to join to fulfill that need and hubby says if we live simply I could retire sooner. So now I am planning on it!


RTHR 1/15/2016. Posterior approach. Due to AVN. LTHR on May 26, 2016.
 
Hi @gullimac , I liked your very nice reflections on the recovery period. It sounds so positive, especially how you described your daughters' characteristics and your relationship. It seems that the recovey period made you get closer to your family and that's positive.
I can claim the same for myself. Staying at home had its positive sides. After my 3-week period in a rehab center, I had two more weeks at home. Like your wife, I have to work 7 years longer than my husband who is retired. We had a great time together. He did things that he wouldn't normally do like cook with me. And we enjoyed the walks together in May last year when everything was in blossom. We still walk together todate - well -at weekends and after work now.
Of course, it was good to be back at work, see my colleagues again and get involved in the various sports activities we used to do. But somehow, it also seemed sad to me that that recovery period had to come to an end.
Take care - all the best for your return to work.
Constanze
 
Miss Muffet said:
You and I (and others) are at the same stage of looking towards our second hip and FREEDOM!
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[Bonesmart.org] And so, I Continue

I've got a whole new image of you now @Miss Muffet !

@gullimac It's amazing to see the journey you've been through and to read about the wonderful relationship you have with your family.
 
@gullimac .... What a blessing it is to see beyond the surgery into the emotional aspects that it brings to your family. As Miss Muffet pointed out, you're on the journey to being a New Dad... And changing each moment as your health improves. It seems to me that you will be (and already are) the kind of Dad that's a beacon in the lives of your daughters...a shining example of positivity...the glowing presence of Fatherhood in their lives. Once Mr. Wrong becomes Mr. Right II, I'll bet that you'll be the model of The Best Hands-On Dad Ever! You'll be out front playing Hop Scotch on the sidewalk! Thanks for your sharing and insight. It was a Joy to read. xoxo
 
Slept for about 30 minutes on the op side last night for the first time. Walking around the house with out a cane a bit. Would like to be off of it when I attempt the return to work next week or at least less reliant on it.
 
:wowspring:@gullimac ! That's great news about sleeping on your op side for a while.....ooooh I can't wait! Not quite there yet :eyebrows:. I bet you'll be strollin' right in to work next week, cane or no cane. Remember..... Slow and Steady. Now that I'm feeling so normal again, that's becoming the hardest thing for me. Hubby is constantly reminding me that it's only been 3 weeks :tada:
 
I'm so happy for you @gullimac! Who knows, you may be able to ditch the cane by then. I'm finding improvement is coming when I least expect it. One day I'm limping and all if a sudden the limp is almost gone. It seems my progress comes in spurts rather than steady improvements. Hugs twinsy! :-)
 
@gullimac - so happy to hear of your continued progress! Remind me- how many weeks are you and CC now post op? I am 2 weeks tomorrow. :yay:
 
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