A better day after a tough night. Not a night of pain, just another one of not getting comfortable, then waking up at 3 am, unable to sleep. I read in my Kindle for a bit, then back to sleep til 7. Oh yeah, during those few minutes I was awake at 3 check email, and in my weekly post-op emails from my hospital, there was one about "what's normal?" and wouldn't u know it, insomnia was in there. I have been napping a lot, resting more than usual, perhaps leading to the middle of the night wake-up.
I stood at the sink doing dishes and something dawned on me, as I've been trying to figure out this nagging groin pain. I caught myself standing with my operated leg bent, favoring it almost, and I wondered if that could be part of the problem, that I'm throwing things off by favoring it and not standing straight. I have been a sloucher for a long time and maybe correcting that is another part of this new chapter I am in. I was really tempted, very close to taking one of the hydrocodone, but am still very leery considering how oxy and I disagreed last week. I took tylenol, put pillows to support my back in my favorite sitting chair, sitting up more straight, and though there is a bit of pain, it's not even close to what it was.
As well last night it was chapter 2 of post-op blues. Like many I was inundated with food and help the first week or so, but now, nothing, esp since the holidays are now over, everyone's back to work, they figured i'm okay, so... Ya'll know the story. The only one who who contacted me through New Years was my bff in NY, and now she's back to work and into her routine too. Good thing I journal, as I came up with some things to do and some good insights. (like posting on FB for peeps to call me!) I ventured outside today for the first time solo. I had been leery because we had snow the weekend after Christmas and it's been cold. I figured at least sit on the porch for a few minutes. Temp was a bit above freezing, the sidewalks were clear, so bundled up, I went for a short walk. I live in the middle of the block, so I went to the end and back, being EXTREMELY care to avoid water or any snow. I sat on the porch with sun on my face, getting my vitamin D quota then went inside. I felt human again, like I was still a part of society. I didn't do anymore than that. I feel more hopeful, like things are getting back to normal, knowing day by day they are. Soon I will be able to go for longer walks and do my yoga (modified and gently of course). And I have a massage on Sunday to look forward to!
I know there will be some down days still (it is winter in New England of course!) But I will pull through, remembering last night and today.
