THR 4 days post op, pain in groin, butt...yeah I know...

[CatPrincess]

Free massage from my amazing masseuse....and a private house call to boot. So nice! She's more than a masseuse, she truly is a bodyworker, helping me to understand what's going on with some of the pain my muscles, explaining things about the healing process. It really helped. She did good massage around that scar tissue/fluid knot below my incision, while being very careful around the incision. Plus it was a day I needed to vent - woke up to no heat and an empty oil tank and no money to pay for more until I go back to work in March - she gratefully listened. Now to find a way to get to a store and get another space heater since the one I bought before surgery died the day after Christmas. *sigh* This too shall pass...this is temporary...

 

[CatPrincess]

A very frustrating day... to say the least
Surgery bills coming in, need to have a chat with roomie regarding heat/money, and now there's bruising (old because it's the " healing" bruise color) on the calf of my surgery leg. I am convinced it's from the TED stockings as it's not on the other leg. I am on warfarin til the 18th my INR is in the normal range and my calf doesn't hurt unless I press on it. Really enjoyed my massage yesterday but was told by the nurse today to not do anymore massages til i'm off blood thinners. *SIGH* It's one of those nights when I could really use a glass of wine or 2 or 3. Talking to God isn't even helping. I am scaring my kitties because I am on edge and every little thing that doesn't go right (like a typo) brings a sharp profanity out of my mouth. I have just enough money to last til I go back to work and am drawing a paycheck again. This was supposed to be a time of rest and it's not. Feeling overwhelmed. out of control. And cold. Have the heat turned down and a space heater on to save money, pointing directly at me, blanket wrapped around my upper body and I'm still cold, the cats are cold....

I need/want to focus on healing right now, and yet I need to handle the bills that are coming in. It's ALL on me....again. This is not something that i can just hand off to someone and say, "you handle". How do I separate myself from the financial and just focus on healing? I wish I could just let go, know it's for my best to let go so i can heal, but I don't know how. Help, please!

 

[bottomshollow]

CP, please do not worry about the medical bills at this point in time. You must take care of the necessities--- your recovery,food, clothing, shelter, transportation---first. Everything else can wait. You may get behind on some things----but you can work on catching up later when you're recovered enough to go back to work. You need to get in touch with social service agencies and churches in your area to see if you can get some temporary assistance. And, yes, roomie needs to step up and help. But you do need adequate heat.

The bruise on your calf is the result of blood under the skin traveling down from your knee---gravity does that. Some of our members have had bruises from thigh to ankle. So it's nothing to worry about.

Find another blanket to put on---get your kitties up close to you---find a good book to read or something to watch on TV and put your troubles out of mind----get some sleep---things will look a bit better in the morning. Then you can get to work on finding some help.

Please take care of yourself and keep us posted. We really do care.

 

[bellaroma]

Cat, I agree with bottomshallow, take a deep breath, talk to your roommate, maybe call some non-profits who could maybe help with your heating.

 

[CatPrincess]

Back on the emotional rollercoaster again. Good day, not good day, good day, not good day. Tired of struggling. Had one of those "why did I do this?" moments last night/this morning. Just exhausted. I jumped through all the hoops, made all these preparations pre-surgery and I get blindsided by financial stuff. The heating stuff will work itself out, I trust that. I know ultimately I will be past all this, but i can't get out of my head that I will be paying for all of this for the next year, and this saddens me. It will be 2 years in April that I've been back home in New England and I have yet to truly enjoy life, even in the simplest ways . Three moves, my mom's death, 2 skanky landlords, 18 months to sell my previous residence, car fire, bedbugs, and 18 months of chronic pain, all while watching others enjoy life. I know others have it worse and I don't know people's true stories. I just know that I feel in the midst of the tunnel again, not seeing any light. I miss physical contact from friends. Hugs, touch. People are either out of town or too busy. Lonely and isolated. If I am to have contact it's up to me, and my stamina isn't up to normal levels. I thought of contacting the counselor I've used through our EAP program, but it's $8 roundtrip on the T, and that's precious $$ right now. I don't know how to express this to the powers that be in my circle in order to get help. I have a full time job and I earn too much to qualify for assistance.
It's a gorgeous day out and I really ought to get out and enjoy it, it would do me some good, but all I feel like doing is curling up on the couch and doing nothing.

 

[bottomshollow]

Get up off that couch, get dressed, put on make up, and get outside in the nice weather!!!!! Do not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity---you will only feel worse.

Here is something to mull over

. And in the midst of all this bad stuff---look deep down inside and count your blessings---they're there, just overshadowed by your unhappiness at the moment.

You are not alone. I have had some moments in life when I just screamed, " God, what did I ever do to deserve this!" "Why is this happening to me!" "My life stinks!" They all passed with time, taught me some life lessons, and made me stronger. The same will happen for you. But you gotta be your own best friend here and look for and find good things---and try to make some good things happen. Otherwise, you'll just be your own worst enemy, and things will just get gloomier and gloomier.

Go out and seize the day. Soak up some healing rays. Keep telling yourself that it will get better. You can do it. I believe in you!

 

[nanal]

AMEN!!!! WELL SAID

 

[CatPrincess]

Feeling much better emotionally. Got outside, walked, listened to good Christian music journaled. I have a question. Finally got all the steri strips off. I know I'm prob behind . I noticed at each end of the incision about 2" of what looks like thin fishing line. I don't recall this being told to me. I pulled a tiny bit, then stopped, obviously not wanting to do anything bad. Unfortunately I did this after the nurse had left and he's not back til Monday. I don't want to call the OS because nothing hurts, etc. Yet I don't think this is how it is supposed to be. Input anyone? It's 10:30 at night and I'm in bed otherwise I'd take a pic to show. Josephine

 

[jjhipster]

CP I had 2 big ole blue fishing line looking things at my incision. They are just the stitches. Show your nurse next time and she may be able to remove them. Mine kept getting longer as the days went by, but there was no pain involved. Just weird.

Glad you are feeling better today. The emotional roller coaster is the hardest. Keep your chin up and us in the loop.

 

[bottomshollow]

I am so glad that this has been a better day for you. I knew you could do it. And tomorrow will be a good day for you, too. Sleep tight and have sweet dreams.

 

[Vilebyrd]

Last year at this time i was working out of town and staying in a crappy motel. The company i work for is cheap like that lol. Anyway i woke up one morning to these tiny bugs in the bed with me. A day later my arms and other places on my body were covered in rows of the worst bumps. Damn bedbugs they are terrible. Luckily i didnt take them home. It took weeks fot those bites to go away. Hey you got one thing going for you no matter what your hip is fixed and it only gonna get better. Just focus on house, lights and food. Everything else can wait. Worry is the biggest waist of time it doesnt solve anything. You will get by and and everything will be ok.

 

[Jaycey]

CP I tagged Jo in your post about stitches. I'm sure they are OK until the nurse can see you. Have a great day!

 

[Poppet]

CatPrincess what kind of Christian music do you listen to?

I listen to heaps

 

[Josephine]

They are a special kind of stitch called a 'subcuticular' meaning just under the skin. Almost everyone uses them and then puts Steristrips on top. The thread is the absorbable kind so should dissolve by the body's own process of metabolism. They should have been snipped short enough to disappear inside the skin but your surgeon's assistant obviously didn't way attention to what s/he was doing! They can wait until you see your nurse again and he should use some sterile scissors to snip the end off so it's out of site. Don't mess with it until then. If you want to understand how this is done, look here Closing surgical wounds: how is it done?

 

[CatPrincess]

Thanks Josephine. Very interesting. Must have been one of the residents (since my surgery was at a teaching hospital) I presume. The part that's hanging out doesn't look like the dissolving kind though. It really looks like fishing line, like the "fine monofilament nylon" you mentioned in the link, the stuff that doesn't dissolve. Should I even mention it to my OS when I see him for my follow up in a couple weeks, or just let it go, and call it no harm no foul?

 

[CatPrincess]

Sorry Poppet for the delay. Been very out of it today. I tend to toward contemporary Christian, like Mark Schultz, MercyMe, Newsong, Newsboys (from your neck of the world!), Casting Crowns, Third Day, Selah... I like those who write about their own personal struggles, and how God ministered to them through it. One of Schultz's songs "He will Carry Me" is a particular favorite. Here's the chorus and one of the verses:

And even though I'm walking
Through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me
He will carry me

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I have never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said You'd see me through the storm

I have the CD; I need to dig it out and play it. I could use it right now.

 

[Texas Girl]

Hi CatPrincess,
Just thinking of you and wondering how you are doing. I hope good. I had my surgery just a few days before you did. I seem to be doing good, just taking it slowly. Hope all is well!

 

[Josephine]

Absolutely mention it to your surgeon! If it is monofilament nylon it needs to be removed.

 

[CatPrincess]

Thanks! I certainly hope not. I will not dwell on it til the nurse comes tomorrow. Certainly he'll know. It's only 11 days til I see my OS just in case.

Had a church function yesterday that i almost wasn't going to go to simply because I am tired of talking about the surgery and that's what most people would ask me about. But I decided to go, simply to break the monotony of being at home. Whenever someone asked how I was doing, I said great physically, then switched the topic to the emotional, saying now i understood how women who had babies felt, etc. Found that many who had other medical conditions, were on meds really understood; I even asked for prayer about it and was able to chat for a bit at the end with a friend who I hadn't seen since Christmas. I was honest about how I felt without dumping the "gory" details on those whom I'm not close to. I will head out to church in an hour then a trek to one of my fave stores Trader Joes for some much needed stuff that I can only get there. It's an ok day. I keep reminding very day is a step closer to full healing on all levels. Things I can do now that I couldn't do a week or 2 ago...and oh yeah, that first glass of wine in almost a month is this coming Saturday! I keep going because to stop would be to give the victory to one who does not deserve it.

 

[CatPrincess]

Very pleased that my sutures were the dissolvable kind. It woulda stunk if whomever closed (presumably a 2nd yr resident!) had used the wrong kind of sutures.

It's hard to believe I am 3 weeks and 4 days post-op. It seems like it's been much longer. At least in my head it does. While the only pain I've had (one's at worst) has been manageable with ice, elevation, and a once in a blue moon tylenol, the stamina I think is the last to come back. Went for walks 3 days in a row last week, the last one being .6 mile to the town square, and I spent Friday on the sofa, still tired at 6 pm. Walked again Saturday to run a necessary errand, out to a church social, up watching football too late, up for church, and I had to take a nap to be awake to watch my Pats beat the Texans. Sun night in bed at 9:15p; last night 11p, and I had to take a nap this morning before I had my 2nd cup of coffee! No pain, no soreness, etc., just tired. I am eating enough, so that's not it. I guess it's just part of the healing process, the body is using energy to heal muscles, bone, etc., and when I walk a lot like i have lately, there's only so much, and when I run out, I run out. Am very torn. Would like to get out and walk some today as snow is expected tomorrow, which will make walking for the next few days not an option, yet, part of me says rest, watch some movies... Learning to find the middle ground, rather than zero or 100%.

Those who are further along, how have you managed the stamina issue?