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TKR Yorkimom is ready to go...LTKR

@Minnie's knees, @tiredwife, @marmora, @gr82cu2,@madinana, @new knee in June, @PuppyLove, @ConnieJOS, @Nana moon 27 the other day I was thinking about how lucky we all are. I can't imagine how it was for those that had knee and hip surgeries years ago before Bonesmart! We know that our friends and families try to support us as we go through this, but they just don't understand the way our Bonesmart friends do!
Now I need to vent.......don't get me wrong, I love my mother dearly and know how fortunate I am to still have her here, but sometimes she makes me want to scream. You have to know my mother. When I argue with her,I am being disrespectful so I always have to be careful in how I react to things at times. While on the phone she asked me how I was feeling. I told her that I was feeling much better but they my appetite is still not right and today I was feeling nauseous all day. She asked me what meds I was still taking and I mistakenly told her that I was still taking pain meds. In the beginning I started out taking 2 pills every 4-6 hours and then gradually decreased the dosage. She couldn't believe I was still taking pain meds. I told her that I'm taking three pills a day, one in the morning, one in the middle of the day and one at night. I wait until my knee is telling it's time. She went on to say when she had her bunion surgery, her doctor yelled at her because she didn't take her pain meds and did I know he cut her bone and she has a high tolerance for pain. I tried to explain that yes, he cut her bone but afterwards they didn't do anything to her foot. We have PT and they bend and straighten our knee, etc. Then she said many of her neighbors had knee surgery and they weren't on meds as long as me. I don't know why I tried to explain...it falls in deaf ears. I don't say anything to Joe as he gets so angry. I don't know why I let it bother me. I've been sitting here all night worrying about what she said. I know I shouldn't, but I am a born worrier. Thanks for letting me vent. I needed to do that. Hopefully I can just forget about it.....yeah, big chance.
 
@Yorkimom Anne. (((Hugs))) I am sorry your mother upset you. Your Dr wouldn't give you the pain meds if they weren't necessary. Please don't feel bad about taking them. Also, I am sorry you are still nauseous as I know that is miserable. Bonesmart is so great because we can vent to others who understand exactly what we are going through. I hope you were able to rest. Take care.
 
Anne @Yorkimom

{{{Hugs}}} to you.

No matter what age we are, we are still a child to our parents and that relationship sometimes "doesn't count birthdays".

Your next birthday card may say "Happy 64th Birthday" and in all other situations and with other people you are respected for your actions and how you are recovering from your two TKRs, but your mother may still see you as her little girl.

It is hard to have those conversations with someone close to you when they're not on the same wavelength and you are still recovering and still a bit fragile both physically and emotionally after your September TKR.

While you were tossing and turning and worried about your conversation with your mother, I would think that your mother had a good night sleep. It's very natural to carry the hurt of the conversation with you. And accepting that your mother doesn't "really get it" about what you have and what you are going through post TKR.

We have all needed to vent and shout post TKR and thankfully we have BoneSmart !

It is the outlet for when we are down and also when we want to share milestones and where we find real understanding from our BoneSmarties.

Unless you've walked the walk and talked the talk, it is very hard to know what each of us has and is going through.

Again, many, many of us have been through similar with our parents and do understand how you are feeling and it is not easy.

Take care,
Cathie
 
@Yorkimom Anne to me it sounds like she has you feeling guilty for still being on pain meds. Don't be, each knee is different and heals in it's own time. If it helps, hubby had his knee done before yours and he still downs an occasional Norco. You are right to come off it gradually. Let your knee speak.
 
@marmora said it perfectly!

I'd be willing to bet your mother has no idea how long her friends were on their pain meds following TKR. And if they were off them sooner, isn't that nice? :) Good for them! [Bonesmart.org] Yorkimom is ready to go...LTKR

Don't let it get you down Anne. None of us wants to go through this and none of us wants to be on pain meds for extended periods of time. But, if we don't then we can't do the things we need to do to rehab ourselves and get back to life. Hang in there!
 
@celle,@Minnie's knees, @eldon, @marmora, @tiredwife, @gr82cu2 Thanks you all so mch. After I posted it I felt as though I should have just kept quiet and let it go. Cathie you said it perfectly and I'll have to remember that for future reference, because my mother treats me like that on everything all the time!!!!! And yes Jqckie, my mother is famous for making me guilty!!!!! Thanks again, I feel so much better. Anne
 
As we grew older and I had my own family, I used to censor what I told my mother, so that I never gave her any ammunition. I only ever told her good things about my kids, never any of the naughty things they had done.

As far as my own health, well, I was a nurse and she learned quite fast that I knew more than she did, so she backed right off giving me advice about that.

Life was much simpler that way.
 
@Yorkimom Anne glad you are feeling better!
[Bonesmart.org] Yorkimom is ready to go...LTKR
 
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