Okay a lots happened in 24 hrs on here. Everything has come together and enveloped me in the centre. One thing became clear, very clear. Something has to give, something had to change. It struck me when I wrote my list out of rubbish that I've been through in the last almost 11 months. It was the very last line accompanied by thinking about something someone had said about him earlier...my poor husband that's had enough. I thought he really has had enough. I have to start to help myself a bit more. We do need to be working together to get me more mobile. I'm way too afraid to go out alone.
The biggest problems been the rotten bug I had for the best part of three weeks. If it was a straight forward case of catching a cold and dealing purely with a cold fine. That doesn't happen. It's always more complex because of my lung complaints xx one triggers the other. That hasn't helped one bit with my state of mind. I've had nothing better to do than dwell on stuff that's effectively done, dusted, dead and buried in the distant past and it ate away in my head, at my soul, like a rodent. I think today, I trapped the rodent x
So this morning I got out my bed (which I can do), walked downstairs (which I can do) and I made breakfast (which I can do as long as I take my time and focus on one task at a time). Ok it was only tea and toast. Instead of returning up to my room to eat. I stayed downstairs and ate breakfast with my husband. That kept him company, saved him from running up and down the stairs. He was ever so pleased. There is nothing stopping me from doing that every day, pain willing.
Im now back up in my room having taken my medication waiting for it to kick in. The paracetamol I took earlier have done nothing. My husbands popped out. He's asked me not to cook dinner. I won't but I'll do what I did last Sunday and prepare it. I have a chair in the kitchen. I'm not moving until the bad pain has eased though.
So today sees a new start to the week, hopefully a better one than last. I'm feeling calmer today. I have to say that everyone was right in their own way. I did need that butt kick though. I think this morning has proven it.
A massive thank you to all for your support. You've been more than kind xxx
Catch you soon
Love Nana moon 27 xxxx