Revision TKR Woohoo I'm starting to feel better!

[dogwheels]

Good morning Ann. I am chasing my tail trying to get things done this morning, but I too am just having my porridge (with date and coconut, yummy!) I haven't really got time to post, but wanted to reply to say that I really hope you feel a bit better and more how you did yesterday, very soon.
You will have good days (like yesterday) and painful ones (like today) - it is all part of recovering. Try to work through the bad ones and soon you will be having more good than bad.
I think all of us here that now consider ourselves pretty well OK, still have bad days when the knee decides it wants to remind us and pay us back for what we did to it a short while ago. I have days when my knee feels as if it has been oiled and serviced and I could do anything with it! Then a few days later and it has the grouchies for a while.
It doesn't help that your knee has been so bad for so long this year - you have forgotten that ups and downs are all part of the rich tapestry of knee recovery. Things will only get better. Now sleep!
Must dash - hope today gets better

XXXX

 

[Nana moon 27]

Had a rotten night with pain. Clearly my body was not ready yet to cut down another 10 mg yet. Worse still I was trying to get on top of the pain and couldn't. This morning my knee feels,stiff and tight. It is a miserable day here with winds and rain. That's probably not helping.

Well I've just increased my pain relief dosage back to where it was a couple of days ago. My eyelids are feeling so hopefully I'll be asleep before long xxxx

 

[madinana]

@Nana moon 27 I am sorry you had a rotten night with pain. I don't know if you have arthritis but the weather effects mine (RA) and makes my new leg ache terribly every time I try to cut down on meds I regret it and its almost gone and am sure my OS won't give me anymore and two days later see my family doctor not sure if she will so am concern about that. I tried laying back down not sleeping just relaxing and my german shepard was not having it so got up and guess I will start laundry Am waiting to see where my thread will go today it is always an adventure

 

[Nana moon 27]

Hi @madinana

I don't think I have RA just OA. I've managed a half hour sleep just now but I'm still so tired. The weather has gone lovely now x blue sky, sunshine but I'm too tired to even bother xxx

 

[yiayia3]

Hi @Nana moon 27 If you have arthritis the wet weather will effect you as Madinana said, my aches are so much worse when it's raining,hope you get a good sleep.

 

[Nana moon 27]

My recent erratic posts are giving rise to concerns that I spend too much time on here and I should be out in real life. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with it. Easier said than done but point is taken x x

 

[Nana moon 27]

Today was hard because I'd had a really bad upset this morning and took it very personally indeed but It was also a kick up the butt I needed.

I'm sending out a genuine apology for getting so weak and not seeing what was happening on here. And more importantly how I was coming across as a very self pitying, sorry for myself, pathetic piece of work.

Going out was hard, my heart was like a jackhammer but I have to get back into the world. Back to reality. I went to one shop, with my two daughters, bought some craft stuff and intend to try to make my own Christmas cards. I rewarded myself with that for getting there. We came straight back. At least I did it.

Yesterday I booked the therapy appointment. They are calling me next Tuesday and doing a telephone consultation to decide what is best for me.

The advice I received this morning I have listened to. I need to be socialising, spending less time on here. I have bought the craft stuff and will try but right now it's easier said than done. I need to have a real life not a virtual one. Again easier said than done but will be.

After this morning I've decided I'm not posting any more publicly, about my mental health issues. To be honest I think it's for the best not to. It can be misconstrued as attention seeking or me wallowing in misery. I don't want or wish to give that impression. That's not the real me. It was never my intention. I thought this was the place for it but now I know better.

I'm also giving the impression of being hooked on pain meds and not wanting to move on. That's not true at all. I want to go back to work. I want to drive but my GP will not budge on this. My daughter spoke to him at my appointment last Monday night when she took me. He reassured her that I'm not addicted. I don't expect to be totally pain free. I expect for there to be some discomfort. However, when that tearing pain goes through my leg what can I do? However, when you think I was on 120 mg per day last January and I'm on 60 mg per day now, ok it's not ideal and I am trying to reduce it more, surely that has to be ok?

Yes my knee is feeling better but my mobility is not good distance wise. It needs work. Having that bug for over a fortnight hasn't helped because i get out of breath very quickly because of both of the lung conditions. I'm due to start Hydrotherapy the week after next

So onwards and upwards, no more pity party for me on here. It's not giving the right mood for my thread.

 

[SuperSnapper]

@Nana moon 27 glad to hear you got out. It is really, really hard to do it when you've been out of circulation but small steps are good and you took some today so that's brilliant. Keep on posting . I always find your posts very cheering and you've been very welcoming. I'm sure as you feel stronger that you'll be able to do more and more.

All the best
Mary x

 

[Pumpkin]

I am so happy to hear you got out and did something fun.
You can always have a pity party. Just write, I am having a pity party, I feel so sorry for myself, yada yada yada.
And you know this being a partying group, the only word there gonna see is the word party , next thing you know you have all of your favorite treats, music, location right here on Bone smart. The best thing, no calories!
I will bring Coffee Crunch Cake, like I had for my Birthday the other day!

 

[madinana]

@Nana moon 27 I am upset that you are upset. You are not wallowing in self pity or addicted to drugs I can't imagine who would give you that impression. For that I am sorry. I think it is great to vent, and get things out. Sure
we go off on tangent on the threads but it just relieves some of the stress. It is your choice what you want to do but it sadden me that you got that kind of advice I think you are such a genuine person, beautiful on the inside and out Take care, please

 

[Nana moon 27]

Hi @madinana it sounds worse than it is. That's the trouble. No I've spent too much time on here and not enough in life. I thought that was the impression I was giving just take no notice. It's done now xxx

 

[susanne]

Ann. Don't you realize that taking morphine is going to eventually suck the life out of you? Not to be mean and I know you're in pain but since you have to take these drugs and believe me I don't believe in being in pain if there is a pill to take it away, you are going to feel edgy, cranky, tired, moody in other words kind of like menopause. It still surprises me that they have you on morphine for so long. In ny I was on for 3 days and cried when they took me off. Granted I was so disoriented didn't want to do anything and felt like Dorothy in the wizard of oz. I honestly don't know how you function. I'm still taking 15 mg of oxi and dr cutting me off this month. Cutting them in half and going to see pain management dr or acupuncturist
My knee still hurts going up and down stairs so me being me would rather take an elevator
I remember the first time I went out alone with just my cane in the snow and had panic attack
But I did it every day. Everyone's surgery and recuperation is different. Remember when I first wrote on this thread you welcomed me with open arms. That was just for knee. I had 3 years of torturous pain from my botched hip surgery that resulted in a dislocation then when I had it redone I could have walked home.
Also remember you are under so much stress with your daughters ailment and other family issues. Stress us our worst enemy. I think once you start your new hydro therapy you will start to feel better. One session with my new PT was all massage lived if great stress reliever
So you see we are all different as is our pain tolerance. On a scale of 1-10 mines an8 so I'll keep medicating until.....but remember. We are all here rooting for you and you are not whinning or wallowing in self pity. You hurt and that's that. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel and we will all look back on this past year with new friendships, maybe some more aches and pains and more surgeries. But we got this far and we will go further
Be well my dear friend. Things can only get better.
(Sorry if I'm rambling always forget what it's like to talk to adults in full sentences)
Love susanne

Sent from my iPad using BoneSmart Forum

 

[Celle]

Don't you realize that taking morphine is going to eventually suck the life out of you? Not to be mean and I know you're in pain but since you have to take these drugs and believe me I don't believe in being in pain if there is a pill to take it away, you are going to feel edgy, cranky, tired, moody in other words kind of like menopause. It still surprises me that they have you on morphine for so long.

Ann wouldn't be taking morphine if she didn't need it. Her doctor is aware and is helping her to cut back. She isn't addicted.
She is doing the best she can, in difficult circumstances.

And no, it won't "suck the life out of her."

 

[susanne]

@Celle. That's not what I meant and have tried to redeem myself. I would never say anything to hurt nor imply anything about ann. It is out of concern. I think you have misinterpreted what I wrote. I've had 4 body replacements and know what it feels like when you're in pain nothing works and nobody listens. I really don't think I have to explain myself to you. And to say drugs suck the life out if you is a euphemism believe me I know what a drug addict is.



Sent from my iPad using BoneSmart Forum

 

[skigirl]

Ann, I have just read through a few pages of your posts---you talk about someone telling you that you should keep this post a happy place and not post about your anxieties. I could not find those posts, finally figured that they were PMs.

We have had other folks on BoneSnart who have struggled and they all talk about the pain of watching others bounce back from the surgery while they feel stuck in a rut. Some stop posting because they cannot take the positive results so many people get--but not them. It is difficult.

I think this IS the place to post your anxiety, depression and fears---if others tell you it is not, THEY are wrong--not you. You do not have to put on a happy face for this forum--ever. You have had a hard time of it and are just beginning to move a little now. If your doctor is not worried about your drug intake why is anyone else here or in your house worried? Do not listen to people who are trying to make you feel badly for feeling a little blue now and again.

I have a friend who had to have an open abdominal surgery ---they could not get the mass out through an arthroscope. She is only 6 weeks out and everyone thinks she should be up and about. We, as a society, have forgotten how long it takes to recovery from open abdominal surgery. I feel for her and I also feel for you. Do not listen to folks who blame you or question your actions or posts. You are a lovely woman and a great asset to the forum---we all like you and are more than willing for you to talk about your anxiety or depression at any time.

 

[susanne]

Well I guess I've stirred up quite a bit if misconception. Sorry if I have offended anyone here
I'm out


Sent from my iPad using BoneSmart Forum

 

[skigirl]

Susanne, I don't know what you are talking about---this is about Ann's post--and my reaction to it. She named no one and neither did I. She spoke of people chiding her and I assumed they did so through PM's---as I said in my post.

So many of us---myself included, by the way, are sensitive--especially those who are on pain meds or feeling depressed after the surgery. My post was directed to Ann about her concerns.

 

[Nana moon 27]

Thank you @skigirl

I appreciate that.

@susanne don't worry you've not upset me. You've got enough going on without worrying like that.

All it is I think there is concern that I'm looking for bad stuff in my life to dwell in and keep myself down and I understand sometimes we all need a kick up the backside now and again. Depression does feed off this but tbh I didn't think that I was but it's highly possible. The pms were not meant maliciously or nastily but as one concerned person to another, as a friend. I need to make this abundantly clear.

This is my year so far...

TKR January. Fall day after surgery, then severe chest infection hospitalised for nine days.
TKR starts to go wrong. Swelling, stiffness, extreme pain.
NHS PT six sessions not good, paid for private physio much better treatment
February x ray of other knee done, they said they'll review in September to see if they can save it, as long as joint hasn't deteriorated too badly by then
Aspiration and steroid injection into tissues round TKR. Didn't work. Done at different hospital to original as this is where the stand in surgeon that did my TKR is based
Six chest infections in five months after surgery so referred to chest clinic
They discover nodules on my lungs they think are benign and diagnose mild Bronchiectasis, confirm Asthma had now deteriorated to Chronic
I have to have yearly CT on lungs to monitor nodules
Back on list as surgeon has discovered patella problem
By August I'm rubbish mobility wise, getting worse by the week
Return to original hospital told I'm no longer their patient and I've been discharged into the care of stand in surgeon at hospital 40 mins away
They let me down on the X-ray on left knee
September, revision done, does seem to be better but until start hydrotherapy limited on what I can do
The surgeon sees me in Outpatients, he is happy with revision. We discuss about incident at other hospital regarding my left knee
He gets X-rays from February up and shakes his head. At best he can offer an arthroscopy but it needs replacing. Other hospital lied about joint condition, he shows me and husband x ray. He explains there's no cartilage left, no fluid between knee cap and joint. Tricompartmental OA in joint and arthritis in the patella area.
Last week at PT appointment TKR joint was hot and stiff, PT concerned, refers me for hydro instead.
Mom has had cataract done, it's not healing properly
Dad nearly 80 has to go for hernia op
Daughter with worrying gynae issues (her appt Mon) her bloods returned not indicating anything bad
Financial issues
Isolation, loneliness, stuck in house, can't drive even after all this time, total dependence on others
Poor husband who's had enough

There is other stuff not mentioned here. I'm not looking for pity this is cold hard facts x

Is it any wonder I'm fed up? X I know there are people in here with far worse than I've got and it makes me feel guilty for feeling as I do but it cannot be helped x

Love Nana moon 27 xxx

 

[busylizzie]

I am one of those people who struggle with surgery, any surgery and sometimes think 'why me' when other people have a much easier recovery. It is hard to take sometimes @skigirl and it does get you down, but we are all different and recover at different rates. I just have to try to come to terms with it. I certainly have had my blue times and will probably still keep having them. It is good that I can come to this forum and open up that I am having a bad time and get the support I desperately need to get me through it. I agree that you don't have to put on a happy face here. That is one of the good features of Bonesmart, you can be yourself, you don't have to hide behind a mask and say 'I'm fine' when you are not.

 

[busylizzie]

Just read your last post @Nana moon 27, my list is like yours it seems never ending. An endless round of hospital and medical appointments and treatments. I am yet to gain my independence from almost 10 years ago. I only go out if there is someone to take me. It has shaken my confidence. Most people do not understand what it is like to be in a position like this. The effect it has on your life and the life of your whole family. It does get me down. I understand what you are going through. I miss the things I took for granted, most of all I miss my mobility and freedom. I miss the old 'me'.