TKR Second TKR Done, but still not very patient

[marmora]

@NetballKnees

Hello Ellen,

Hugs & Hugs & Hugs for you and don't worry my shoulders are water proof.

No, I do not think that, "you were a horrible person some time in the past"
As your warmth shines through in your posts.

Can't explain why people / friends behave as they do.

This topic of absent friends was recently extensively discussed on another thread and at the moment cant think whose. When I do will send it on to you, so that you know that others are having the same experience.

It must also be hard as you are living on your own and the days & nights can seem extra long.

BoneSmart is always here for you, not the same as a personal visit from a friend, but you will find warmth from your virtual friends here.

If you think you can and I know that it can be hard, text or ring some of those friends that you are going to Canada with next year and invite them to drop by for a chat and that they will have to put the kettle on & get their own coffee.
But, that you'd appreciate the company.

It has worked for me and may be a way of breaking the ice.

Take care,
Cathie

 

[NetballKnees]

@marmora
Hi Cathie ... Thanks for your visit and very wise words. I guess my friends are busy with their own lives and problems and as my friends are the 'positive' type, they tend not to tolerate negativity in others. Although I think there is a big difference between being negative and genuinely needing help and support. I think it is probably the pain that is making me a bit low. I honestly did not have this level with the other knee and am finding it hard to stay on top of it. I am taking Endone and Panadol Osteo, but it is my second script for Endone and they only give you 5 days at a time. My OS doesn't write scripts for meds once you are out of hospital and leaves it to the GP and my GP will not authorise another round of Endone. I only have a couple of days left of the Endone and am getting nervous about what then because Panadol Osteo on its own is not going to stay on top of the pain. However, that is 2 days ago and maybe the pain will lessen between now and then.

Tomorrow is another day and hopefully a better one.

Thanks again Cathie ... your support and hugs are much appreciated. Hugs back to you ... Ellen

 

[NetballKnees]

@bottomshollow ... Hi -hope you are doing well. As I have had the second TKR, would you mind changing my thread title to - Second TKR Done, but still not very patient ... Many thanks ... Ellen

 

[jeano]

Hang in there, Ellen. The 2 friends I can count on most are hundreds/thousands of miles away, and my one local girlfriend stopped speaking to me after I broke my ankle riding her horse, having decided on the basis of no evidence whatsoever that I blamed her for my fracture. (I didn't even blame her horse!) She had said she would get me to PT for this knee so Mr jeano wouldn't have to. Life goes on.

I think that most people just have limits re what they can and can't cope with. Might be guilt, might be a primitive fear of disability, might be that they are thoughtless. We have to try to love people for how they enrich our lives and forgive their faults and sins of omission. I am plenty exasperated with the friend who won't speak to me but try to appreciate the memory of the many wonderful things she did for me over the years. Its possible, probably likely, that I never let her know in a way she could take to heart, just how much I value her.

 

[Jozilla]

Morning Ellen - I think we have all gone thru not hearing from our friends during this surgery. I truly believe the majority of people have no idea how involved this surgery is. Most people I know can't believe it's not same day surgery and that you are in the hospital for a few days.

I agree there is no excuse for not calling or even texting. I think you are only aware of offering help if you yourself have had such surgery.

That's where BS comes in. It truly is a great support network and we all understand what you are going thru. It is a site where the majority of advice and support is from actual patients and not doctors who have never even had this surgery.

One more sleep!! Yikes!! I will be back as soon as possible.

(((Hugs)))

 

[madinana]

@netballknees That is why I come here for support, as some people think you bounce right back and don't understand it can take a year or so to get truly recovered. @Jozilla said this is a great support network

 

[Jozilla]

@jeano what a beautiful post! Why don't you send your friend a note to that effect. She would have to be heartless not to feel the power of your words. Xoxoxo

 

[happymum]

Hi Ellen,
So sorry to hear that you're not having a good day. Yes sometimes friends can disappoint but I suppose we never truly know what problems they are having in their own lives. I can tell what a lovely lady you are so no, I don't think it's anything you have done. I agree with Cathie, pick your friend and give her a call, give her a chance to redeem herself and ask her to come over for a coffee and chat. That's what I did. Most people do want to help.
Maybe they think they are intruding, who knows?
I hope your gp isn't going to think Panadol osteo is enough to get you through? If the Endone is over maybe Tramadol slow release to last all day and also tramadol 50 which you can take for breakthrough pain. I am still taking these in week 9. I find them very good.
Week 2 and 3 and 4 are supposed to be tough ( I was stil in hospital) so please be gentle on yourself and call a few favours in and ask your friends for some company and help.
How lucky you are to be going to Canada! A dream of mine too. Don't worry about your trip till it gets close but I'm sure your friends will be lovely and understanding.
Love Deb

 

[jeano]

@Jozilla
Sent you a PM

 

[bottomshollow]

your thread title, per your request, @NetballKnees. I'm fine---thanks for asking.

 

[Ellejay]

Hi Ellen, I'm so sorry your friends have been so forgetful, and have upset you by being so. I think we've probably all suffered in the same way, I know I did, one very 'good friend' (or so I thought) phoned me once between when I had my knee done in January and July, (I know I was away a lot, but once?) and she lives next door but one, she could have popped in each time she passed by! That's what is so wonderful about BS, there is always someone here to wipe your tears away. It must be difficult being alone, and your dogs need a friend too. My daughter 'shares' a horse with someone who can't ride every day, could you advertise for a dog sharer? There might be someone who is at work all day who would love a dog but couldn't keep one, who maybe would be happy go walk yours? Only a suggestion, it might not work but it might be worth a try.
I hope you manage to get all the pain relief you need, it is cruel of these professionals not to keep the supply going for as long as we need them.
I'm thinking of you Ellen, hope you have a happier time over the next few days xxx

 

[leejaa]

Ellen, some cyberhugs and flowers for you. You are doing awesome, dealing with being alone, more pain and your dogs. I have not met you but feel I know you from this forum. You are a lovely person and you do not deserve to be ignored by your friends. What goes around comes around but that does not mean it is because of you - it is something that they might deserve in the future for not remembering and caring. I saw your first post that was down was at 3am - always a hard time when pain and that feeling of being alone hits and even if your family and friends are around -it is not an hour that you feel you can call them. My husband would be upstairs sleeping but of course I would not wake him up and you do feel alone. What helped me was the fact that our dog would stay downstairs with me - asleep on the loveseat in the living room and seeing him was a little bit of cheer.

I am so glad you had a gentle PT - and had someone come and bring you what you need for the bathroom and your daughter has been so caring. Sounds like even with the pain this knee will get more motion eventually. Ice and elevate as much as you can - anytime you are sitting or laying down. Ice top and behind the knee as someone else suggested. Wishing you a gentle OP PT also - just keep interviewing them and you can always change if they do not meet what they said they believed.

Do not cancel your Canada trip yet, see what the future will bring for your knees and with your friends. I know how you were looking forward to this trip.

Sending you best wishes for more healing, more pain meds, a gentle OP PT and more visits from your grandson.

Lee

 

[pakline]

Firstly, thankyou to all my Bonesmart friends for your comments re my hubby's cancer - he has made the decision to have surgery - yes, that too can take on a life of its' own, but given that it hasn't spread outside the prostate, he has a very good chance of "cure", so for now, that is where we are at. Secondly, @Ellen - you have many friends here on Bonesmart who genuinely care about you so please take comfort from that - I know it's not the same as having a person visit but it's the thoughts that count. My email is pakline.payne@bigpond.com
I am here for you any time. Sorry you had a downer yesterday - hope today is much better! We all have down days, & teary days, & sooky days, but the good days outnumber the bad ones, & remember, you are not long out of surgery - you body & emotions have taken a battering in the last year so be kind to yourself, rest & know that you are loved!

 

[NetballKnees]

Hello everyone and thanks to my visitors for your concern and visits ... @leejaa @pakline @madinana @Ellejay @happymum @Jozilla @jeano ...
Sorry I am missing in action so much. Because I am still on painkillers, I still seem to be in a bit of a fog and am finding it hard to cope with a knee that once again does not want to bend or straighten. I was so certain this knee would be a star and the frustration and disappointment that it isn't are a bit of a struggle. I will be 4 weeks post RTKR on Thursday and have progressed no further than when I came home, oh, except that I can now lift my leg of course. My bend was measured in the second week at 75 and measured yesterday at 60. My extension is a long way off flat. I am only having PT intermittently as I can afford it. I have some exercises that I do 2-3 times a day - sometimes only twice if there is a lot of pain. There is a spot at the back of my knee that just stops everything - extension and flexion - with pain. Also an extremely sore spot on the inside of my incision that also inhibits movement. Thankfully some of the fluid has dissipated because there was a spot there that I could gently rub and hear the fluid "squelching" ... yuck.

Thankfully I did manage another prescription for Endone from the GP - but that is nearly gone now. There are only 20 tabs in each pack and when you take 4 in a day, they don't last long. It is only Endone 5mg and has been since I came home. I note on here that others have 10mg, so maybe that is why I have pain a lot.

On a happier note, a group of friends came around on Saturday night to watch the rugby league semi finals (and visit with me) and I had a lovely night. Lots of laughs, lots of chat. I did leave it a bit long to go to the ladies at one stage as we were in the middle of a very interesting talk and consequently had to almost throw myself onto the toilet seat and managed to twist the surgical knee - my heavens that was painful.

On another happier note, the incision is lovely and clean - still a bit lumpy but will straighten out, I am sure. The areas where the fracture blisters were has healed very nicely, with no craters and only mild discolouration.

Things will work out eventually I am sure and even if this knee doesn't ever get to 90, once the pain goes, I will just have to walk straight legged. I am sure there are worse things in life than having to use a walker or cane all the time.

JoAnne ... @Jozilla ... Hope everything is going well for you and your pain is well managed.

Take Care Everyone ... Hugs ... Ellen

 

[marmora]

Good Morning Ellen @NetballKnees

Good to hear from you and also sorry to hear that the Flexion, extension and continued pain are still a problem for you. It can be very frustrating and can get one really down.

Is this different from your LTKR in October 2013 ?

I was very good the first few weeks of doing my at home PT three times a day and my three 30 minute walks each day. Now in week 8, the exercises are down to 1-2 per day and only two 30 minute walks. So, I know how you're feeling when you say that the pain can stop you and me from doing more.

Glad that your friends were able to call over and that you had a few laughs.

I now find I have to plan my trips to the toilet well in advance to allow for my slow speed, it's such a rush when you leave it too long.

Take care and hope that when your current Endone finish, that you will be able to get either another refill or an alternative for pain relief.

Take care,
Cathie

 

[Jozilla]

Hi Ellen - I am 7 days out! Thought the same thing and cried in the hospital - what am I nuts doing this again? I do hope it improves for you! I do very simple PT exercises. A total of six exercises at ten reps each then just walk five minutes each hour. I will start outpatient PT on Friday. I probably have the easiest PT going which is perfect for me as I am very lazy!

Hope your knees improve and life becomes routine again. I right behind you again and sending many (((hugs))).

 

[happymum]

Hi Ellen,
Glad your friends came around and brightened your world. ;) Sorry to hear your rom is slow moving but hey your not the only one chicky, I'm eleven weeks and mine is only 95. My knee still has lots of swelling and still looks generally ugly.
Dont worry about your painkillers, you will find a kind dr that will manage your pain, it is your right to be able to be comfortable in your recovery. My gp offered me more today and I'm weeks ahead of you. If you can't ask to be referred to a pain specialist.
How are those doggies of yours going? Keeping you good company I hope.
Hope the days get easier soon Ellen I am thinking of you love Deb

 

[NetballKnees]

Hi Cathie @marmora JoAnne @Jozilla and Deb @happymum
Thank you all so much for visiting. As I mentioned in a post in JoAnne's thread, I have not been coming on much because as awful as it sounds, I am getting despondent reading when others are doing well. I am always happy for them, but so damn frustrated because this knee is following the same path as the left and is probably a bit worse because there is pain this time. There is a spot just on the inner side of the knee which hurts continually, but more so when I am upright and walking or standing. Also a spot at the back of the knee which stops any attempt to straighten or flex. Anyway, as I said to JoAnne, it is what it is and will improve a little with time (I hope). I ice and elevate most of the day interspersed with a few wanders around the house. I do the washing now and can hang it up on the outside line. Have done some basic sweeping and I keep the kitchen all washed up and tidy.

The really good news is that I am going to be a grandmother again. My son Matthew and his wife Davina (married in June) had made no secret of the fact that they would be trying as soon as possible after the wedding and although wanting to fall pregnant is no guarantee that you will, for them it has worked. We are all so excited. Davina is such a terrifically trim, taut and tiny girl that it is hard to see where she is going to fit a baby.

My big boofy male dog is not well though. He is not eating and for him that is unthinkable. I have had a look in his mouth and I think one or more of his teeth might be infected, so it is a trip to the vet for him. Just what I need - more expense. Unfortunately for poor Kimbo, he needs to wait until Matthew has a break in work to take him because I can't drive yet and certainly couldn't lift him into the car as he can't jump in any more (arthritis in his back legs). He is still drinking water and Davina took them for a walk today and he was so excited to do that, so he isn't too bad.

Hey Cathie @marmora ... did you really walk 3 x 30minutes in the early weeks of your recovery? I am flat out walking for 5 minutes and I will be 5 weeks post op on Thursday.

And Deb @happymum ... I went to the GP last Thursday (a friend of mine took me) and he changed me from Endone 5mg to Oxycontin 10mg slow release - one in the morning and one at night. Together with the Panadol Osteo 2 x 3 times a day, the pain seems much better controlled. Still some breakthrough pain which I control by whacking an ice pack on.

I am going to try and visit you on your threads and see what is going on in your lives.

Take Care ... Love and Hugs ... Ellen

 

[jeano]

Ellen so sorry you are having a hard tome with this knee, too. A new grandbaby, that is wonderful news! Good luck with doggy dentistry, poor pooch.

I haven't been posting much on my own thread, too busy snooping in other people's. I am confounding medical science as usual, have trimmed both horses and gone for my first ride even earlier than with the first knee. There's no rational explanation for this. I knew better than to expect TWO textbook perfect recoveries, but that's just what's happening. No doubt when its time for hip replacements i'll have a miserable time...

 

[NetballKnees]

Hi Jean ... Thanks for visiting. I knew it wouldn't be long before you were back on a horse. I think you would handle hip replacements the same way Jean. You are an inspiration and I think your positive, happy and determined attitude has a lot to do with it. I try hard to be a positive person, but these TKRs have knocked my positivity around a bit. Perhaps I am not determined enough.

It is always good to hear how well you are doing though and I like to hear about the horses. Maybe that's what I need - horses. Although, as hard as you will find it to understand, horses frighten me. They are so big and although I love them as far as looks go, I am very wary around them and of course, they pick up on that straight away.

I have a good friend at work that has horses. She has quarter horses I think and shows them and competes in events with them. She is such a tiny slip of a woman but is always telling me about being out lunging the horses and other training things, so she is very strong.

Anyway, it is nearly midnight here, so I better go to bed.

Take Care Jean and keep on doing well. Hugs ... Ellen