Reassurance please!

[Layla]

Hi Cassidy,
Most of the things you can't do immediately post op you probably won't miss or care to do anyway.
It seems nature has a way of taking care of that. Sweetie, I pray you can forgive and let go of the misdiagnosis. I truly understand your disappointment and resentment but holding onto it is only hurting you while Mr Nameless Face happily moves forward in life. Negative emotions drain our energy. Since you can only look ahead, I'd try really hard to let it go. There isn't any new information that's going to make you feel better about the situation. Why even have a name to put to a face. It really won't change anything....

I'm excited for you to lose the pain and gain the ability to jump back into life. You're going to love the result
and I'll bet with all the info you've gathered and time you've had to prepare it will feel like smooth sailing.
Sending a hug and best wishes for a peaceful week!
@Cassidy

 

[Cassidy]

@Layla, you sound just like my husband - he keeps saying let it go! I know I should, and I think if it had been a genuine mistake from a well meaning consultant, I could do that easier than remembering how arrogant and unpleasant he was. But I don't think about it as much as I did before. It's just incidents, like being told I'm an MRSA carrier, when I wasn't before the hospital kindly gave it to me - I call it the gift that keeps on giving! I am grateful to Bonesmart, though, for the many tips I've picked up on the way. Again, I have to sift the good and bad experiences and try to focus mostly on the good. I've bought the long handled sponges and the picker uppers, and even acquired a recliner. I decided last night that I really need to buy some ice packs and not just rely on the good old frozen peas! I rather wish the op was next week, because I just want to get it over and get the first few months of recovery behind me. (I'm feeling a bit grumpy this morning, because my husband's mobile rang persistently from 4.30 a.m. onwards with a cold call - and even though he put it in the bathroom, I could still hear it vibrating! Needless to say he was back in the land of nod, whilst I lay and thought random thoughts, as is my wont, and I've given in and got up. Why are thoughts always so much worse in the night time?)

 

[Layla]

Hi @Cassidy,
I fully understand it's easier said than done. It's difficult to forget a hardship you suffered through the carelessness of another, who's merrily on their way.....unaffected. I don't really like this saying "What goes around, comes around" but it seems it does often apply. Call it Karma, call it divine intervention, call it whatever you want, it often happens.

Rather than focus on him, try to focus on being as healthy as you can going into surgery and recovery. Take a good pro-biotic to ramp up your immune system. Eat healthy, get enough sleep and focus on your recovery nest and how great your life will be again in a mere few months. Purchase or borrow the Recovery Articles you'll need. Figure out things you'll do to occupy your mind and fill you're time while you're healing. If you like to cook, plan meals you can cook and freeze for your recovery.

You should buy some ice packs. They're invaluable. I had several so I could always have one ready. I used different sizes too. The type I used were the gel packs. Others may have better ideas. I can tell you in full confidence that you'll need something more efficient to rely on than a bag of peas.
It's not a bag of peas type injury.

I think you'll be surprised at how quickly recovery moves. One of my biggest questions was will my prosthetic EVER feel like a part of me? Will I ever forget I have it? I was given an enthusiastic "YES!" by more than one person I can trust. At one year out, next week, I can attest to that "YES". I'm not yet to the point where I don't think of it multiple times daily, but you do forget. Ocassionally I'll catch myself doing something without "prosthetic" in the forefront of my mind then realize "oh, maybe I shouldn't have done that" it's becoming more of a reality to me that it does begin to feel like a natural part of you.

As for "thoughts in the dark". To me anything that's troubling me feels worse in the dark. You're alone with your unpleasant thoughts. It's quiet so there is nothing to distract you. You feel lonely and alone, even if you're not.
I do think when you're feeling like that and unable to go back to sleep you should get up. Turn on the lights, read, watch tv, meditate, pray or do whatever you normally do to calm yourself and quiet your mind.

You will get through this and we'll be here walking right along side you as you prepare, then move into and through recovery. it's been a long journey but it feels like there's finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm excited for you! It's all going to be good.

Sending a warm hug, Cassidy, and wishes for a peaceful day!

 

[Cassidy]

Thanks for such a long and thoughtful reply @Layla. I really don't know how you've got the time and patience to reply to everybody like you do - and so much of it is repeating yourself, because we all come up with the same worries, which is a bit comforting actually - otherwise I'd think I was the only one going barmy!!

I've ordered a couple of ice packs with covers today, as you suggested. I've also picked up a second grabber, so I can have one upstairs and one downstairs.

I do worry that the prosthesis will feel like a foreign body, but I'm hoping I'll get used to it. My hip has really been playing up for the past few days, so it's sort of making me feel better about getting shot of it. It must have a death wish!!

My latest worry (I have to come up with at least one a day - a bit like having to embarrass one's children once a day!), is that I didn't research lots of surgeons, I just went with the one that my friend recommended. I thought he seemed pleasant and self-assured enough, as well as putting up with my neurotic ramblings. He certainly seems to be in demand, but beyond that I'm just hoping for the best. I don't know which approach or prosthetic he uses. I know he likes to use spinal plus sedative, glues the incision and assures me that it'll see me out and I'll be able to do breaststroke again (I didn't tell him that my grandmother made 98 and I can't swim (the last one's a lie, but it's a bit like the woman who was told that she'd be able to drive 6 weeks after her hysterectomy, only to reply to the surgeon that that would be a miracle, as she couldn't drive before!).

Anyway, I'm doing all I can to prepare, which is what I was told to do by the OS - he said to let him worry about the op - and I'm on probiotics, trying to keep moving as much as possible and eating healthily (apart from the occasional piece of chocolate and glass - or two - of red wine.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply to my neuroses, and I wish you also a pleasant and relaxing weekend when it comes (I don't have a clue what time it is with you now!). I've got a fair bit planned to take my mind off hips!!

 

[Mojo333]

which is a bit comforting actually - otherwise I'd think I was the only one going barmy!!

We all got a bit barmy @Cassidy...it's stressful !
But isn't Layla the best! You need to have a life with a Good hip joint.
I have two, and I promise you, I am every so grateful.
I didn't research anything...I knew that my OS was also well acclaimed, didn't give the approach consideration...totally ignorant.
He is now my hero..I see how people can have a true admiration and adoration for their doctor.
He gave me my life back.
It's a good life!
Good for you for embracing what will be a life changing surgery!

 

[EmEm]

Hi @Cassidy, I think you will need more than a couple of ice packs. I had 4 from Amazon and had them on the go continuously for the first couple of weeks, even taking them to bed in an insulated lunchbox! Mine are the long narrow gel packs which you can mould around whichever bit is hurting most. For me, that included my back and at times my neck! Keep busy and enjoy the sunshine whilst you can.

I agree about @Layla and also @Mojo333 supporting us. I'm nearly 9 months on and they still pop up to say hi whenever I post. We are very lucky to have BoneSmart!

 

[Cassidy]

Hello @EmEm - I agree with you about @Layla and @Mojo333 - I really don't know how they find the time to do all they do and still reply to everybody. I see you're in the UK too; it's so interesting to see the far flung places that people come from and yet have the same worries when it comes to the old hip hop. I think I'll see what the ice packs are like that I've ordered and, if they're all right, order a couple more. At least my op's in the summer - with the British winters I can't imagine wanting to sit with an ice pack on my leg, although I do remember being pleased to put frozen peas on my feet when I had an op on them - and that was only keyhole surgery!

I see you're well on in your recovery, although I imagine you're probably not quite all the way there? My OS said I'd be around 50% at 6 weeks, 80% at 3 months and as good as I was going to get around a year (although occasionally longer). Has that been about right with you? I suppose it also depends on how good we expect to end up! (I no longer aspire to perfection, or I'd be permanently depressed!)

 

[EmEm]

I agree that I'm not completely recovered because occasionally my hip muscles will ache but if you can find my recovery thread you will see that at 8 months post-op I walked in Switzerland. It might not have been the all-day Lake District walks I have done previously but some of it was on very uneven surfaces and involved some uphill climbing. If you watched me walking you would have no idea that I have a replacement hip although I was very cautious on holiday because I had visions of a helicopter rescue if I stumbled badly!

 

[Mojo333]

(I no longer aspire to perfection, or I'd be permanently depressed!)

I'd say I am 95% perfect, which is 1000% better than where I was 14 months ago.
Amazing!

 

[Cassidy]

That's very inspiring @EmEm. I just caught up with your thread, which I actually realised I'd read most of when I first came to this forum, and it was one of the ones that I liked to read, as it seemed to go fairly smoothly (compared with some others, at any rate!). I was really pleased to hear about your walking, as one of the things I hope to do more of is rambling (not just mentally, which is easier!), as I used to walk and cycle long distances and, although I didn't expect to get back to my younger self, thought I might be able to walk further than the few hundred yards that my hip allows!

I was sorry to read about your wrist, and hope you've sorted that too. My hip isn't actually osteoarthritis - I had an infection in the bone that went undetected for several months (actually misdiagnosed as sciatica), and which apparently ate away at the cartilage - so I'm hoping my other hip will last for a few more years. I was told it was about right for my age. Actually you're just a year or two behind me - and, like you, I've been married 38 years this year.

And @Mojo333, I never cease to wonder at the very physical job you do, with not one but two new hips. There is hope for me yet!

 

[EmEm]

I have re-read my thread recently and feel I did have a relatively easy time. I know I was surprised that I walked so easily right from the first time out of bed. Having a cemented hip suited me because I wouldn't have managed crutches very well because of my wrists. I also found 2 walking sticks difficult because my fused left wrist couldn't move fast enough so I went to one stick quickly.

Wrist surgery is on-hold whilst we see how successful the cortisone injections were. Next on the list on July 3rd is the removal of a ganglion from my index finger joint. It's going to be done by the same surgeon who injected me in May - I should have a loyalty card to get some points! I have had an infection twice in it in the last 3 months and had a warning from a GP that it can't be left any longer. It couldn't be a worse time of the year because I have just started on my biggest annual project.

The one thing I haven't tried post-op is cycling. My OH is a mountain bike fanatic and I have done some of the easier off-road trails with him like the Camel Trail and also Cornwall Coast to Coast. I think I will wait a while before trying it again.

 

[Layla]

Thank you for your sweet words, Cassidy, you're very kind.
It's easy to respond because the situation is familiar and so relatable. In going through surgery and recovery,
I learned how much needless worry I put myself through. You want to save others from doing the same
but it's nearly impossible. All I can do is give it my best shot, then be there to comfort and encourage.

Neither surgery or recovery are as scary as you imagine them to be.
You have to put trust in the anesthesiologist, your OS and his team. They'll be doing a job they do every day
and they want the best possible outcome just as you do. No one is indifferent.

All you can do is prepare for surgery and recovery as best you can. It sounds as though you're doing that.
Keep pain at bay to the best of your ability and think positive. You can do this, you will do this!
Afterward, you'll realize how easy it is to support the next person who's struggling with their decision because you will understand exactly how they're feeling.....

I wish you a peaceful evening and a wonderful weekend!
Big hugs.
@Cassidy

 

[Mojo333]

You will be able to do so much more after you get recovered. This THR is not to make you deficient, it is to make you mobile and confident again.
You are going to wonder why you had to wait so long

 

[Cassidy]

Thought that as I'd be sticking around for a while it was about time I put a face to my ramblings! Mind you, it's not easy to find a face that I wanted to put out there - I was looking through some old black and white photos from the 70's and would have preferred to put my youthful visage on here. (I'm going to a 70's fancy dress party tomorrow evening, so wanted to see what I actually wore then - I couldn't believe how young I looked!) That was then, and this is now ....

 

[Mojo333]

I think you are absolutely lovely Cassidy.
Just wait until your hip gets a Hop in its step to match your youthful countenance!

 

[Layla]

Beautiful, Cassidy!
It's so nice to put a face to a name.
Thanks for sharing your new photo. Healthy rosy cheeks!
I didn't want to say anything but you looked so pale and stick thin in the old one
Looking good now!
@Cassidy

 

[Cassidy]

Could have been that I was at a wedding reception, @Layla, and had a couple of glasses of wine! I'll miss that post-operatively. I think it's the realisation that one looks older than one expects, @Mojo333. I probably walk the same as I look these days - ancient!! I'll have to up my game when I can spring around again!

 

[Mojo333]

I think you will be astounded (I was) how I could straighten up ! after THR which immediately makes us look and feel years younger.
I know you still have your doubts about this...as hip replacement can carry the stigma of something "old" people have done, but it truly backed up the years on MY body.
You will still probably be unconvinced one week and possibly one month post op...but then you will see that you have a New hip!

 

[Cassidy]

I just heard from the hospital - gulp! - and they've offered me a cancellation for next Friday, 6th July. So it sounds as though I'll be joining the post-op side sooner than anticipated. I think I've got most things in place, thanks to Bonesmart and all the friendly contributors, and although I'm feeling really nervous (petrified, in fact!), I think it will be good to get it over with.

 

[Alitm]

@Cassidy I have been following your thread and understand many of your fears and concerns, and also am so thankful for the kindness, knowledge and support that BoneSmart folks offer us. So glad your date has been pushed up so you can get it done and behind you. Sending positive energy and prayers to you leading up to, on and after your surgical date. You will be so relieved and thankful once it is behind you