Okay, Part 1 of my surgery day
As I was sitting in the lobby with my boys waiting to be called back, they were gripping
about having to stay in the hospital and wait for dear ole mom for a few hours.
Instead of being insulted I took this as a teachable moment and decided to remind them of ALL the times I had to
sit in a hospital for them. I started w/labor and worked my way up to the present day including ALL the illnesses and broken bones that I had to take them to the hospital for and WAIT!
We were in stitches by the time they called me back.
THIS is when it gets interesting. First of all they take me to an empty cubicle w/a curtain. Yep, you guessed it... there was NO BED!
I was given my hospital clothes to change into and asked if I needed to go the restroom first. FIRST, THEN WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH NO BED!
I went to the bathroom. When I came back I was told to get undresses, but I can leave my bottoms on till I get a bed. GEE THANKS! I got into my hospial attire like a good little girl and left on my undies, since my Dr Seuss "Just Say No" poem didn't work, I still had my period. They gave me some mesh Victoria's Secret undies to put on and a pad that looked like it was a collectors item. They definitely didn't go together and there's no way I could possibly bring
sexy back in that get up, even with the thigh-highs I was gonna get later.
Anyway, I stood around on my bad knees and waited since I wasn't about to sit in a regular chair that everybody and their sick great-grandmother sat in, in my "sterile" hospital gown.
I wonder if they ever disinfect those chairs, or curtains for that matter. I had plenty of time to think of stuff like this while I waited for my bed. I also thought, I could've been outside in the lobby cracking jokes with my boys and gaining "good mom" points for all the parenthood tales I could tell.
Did I mention that I hardly slept the night before and my legs were KILLING ME!?
Before I go on to the next adventure, let me just say that this is a reputable hospital with great physicians and service up until now.
Here's what happened next... A woman came into my cubicle and informed me that she needed to scrub my leg to prepare it for surgery and then leaves
Huh? I look around the room and wonder WHERE was she gonna perform this feat.
Wait for it... She returns w/ a blanket and a couple of towels. She places the blanket over the diseased hospital chair, so I can sit down.
She then pulls over a TRASH CAN
lol and drapes a towel over it and asked me to put my leg on it. I'm not lying
All while I'm going "you can't be serious!"
She then soaps up a scrubber, pulls up a chair to sit in, drapes the other towel over her legs and proceeds to scrub my leg. TRUE STORY...
folks I can't make this stuff up!
While she was doing this someone wanted to give me my happy meds cocktail
, so I could cope with the trash can scrubbing I guess. Unfortunately, she couldn't adminster those until I get a bed.
Oh, So it's okay to slap my leg up on a trash can and scrub it, but I can't swallow some pills from a seated position.
Once the scrub was complete and I thanked the woman for her service... Don't shoot the messenger. I'm sure she was only doing what she was told, since the hospital was very busy. It must've been National Surgery Day or something! The next person that came through wanted to put on my TEDS, but decided she'd wait for the bed. Ya think!
Well eventually got my bed, put my teds on, took my drugs and it was off to pre-op.
To be continued....
It's almost time for my P/T to show up.
United States
/?/$/! 
, but I think it's more inline with the OAA Club. That's Over Acheivers Annonymous. I have a membership there as well people. 
So I'll use it as song as I need it. I'm thinking about going to the Starbucks in the lobby with my back-out gown. 
Whatddaya think? 
The good feeling is in my spirit 
NOT my leg, that's another story. 
She said there would never be any surprises 
My other in-home P/T barely even touched me, let alone give me a massage. Good thing, since he didn't wash his hands and once took off his gloves to examine my incision. 
He was just plain creepy. I'm glad I stood up for mysef and requested another P/T. It definitely paid off! 
