TKR Onwards and upwards - my journey continues

[bottomshollow]

robynhood, give this some time. Let things calm down. Our children don't always realize their ability to hurt us to the core when they say cruel things they may themselves regret later. But no matter what, you know you still love and will eventually forgive that child. This is another situation that will take time and patience, and you have a lot of practice with both. Oh boy, life sure is hard sometimes, but we must endure and you will.

Take care and keep us posted.

 

[Dabber]

Hugs, it sounds like a family member is hurting and took it out on you to pass on some of their misery. Try not to take it to heart, they are young and *will* learn eventually.
You're in no postion to shoulder their problems when you're in the vulnerable post op position, they won't understand this so you'll have to protect yourself and tell yourself this isn't of your doing, you will do what you can to help, but you're in recovery from a major op and can't spread yourself thinly.
Yes, any emotional upset is bound to impinge upon your knee and recovery.
Tomorrow, can you plan to take a break after physio, have a coffee somewhere/treat yourself to lunch/a bit of retail therapy?
It is possible you've been their rock and support and they're missing your strength but you don't have it to give right now....it's your time, not theirs!
Remember this, you do your best and one can do no more.
Sue

 

[Jacky48]

Oh dear Pat, you have been hit with a bolder, and it's not fair at all! Our loved ones do have a way of hitting us with all they've got right out of the blue, but it's how we handle that is what makes us, however it takes time to heal the hurt. So, give yourself time my friend and try not to beat yourself up anymore then they have, because you simply just don't deserve it

As it effecting your body, oh you bet it does! A punch to the heart is a punch to the whole body and we just weaken all over. As we get hit like that we need to step back and try to remember that we did not create that, nor do we deserve that! As mother's we tend to live for our children and grandchildren, and we forget to put ourselves first. Heck it's no wonder we do that because we've done it since their birth! We need to say to ourselves, Okay, I'm here if they need me, but I'm not going to carry their baggage, I have enough of my own and it's quite heavy enough!.

Please take care, and know in your heart that you are a good person otherwise what happened over the weekend wouldn't hurt so much!

Stay well my friend and I wish you fast healing! (((HUGS)))

 

[Toothfairy]

Hi Pat, take a deep breath and hang on in there. You would be amazed at what you can come back from. I am speaking from experience.
Hugs.
TF x

 

[robynhood]

Thank you so much my bone smartie friends. You can always rely on support from this wonderful forum.

 

[patient 99]

I like your idea of turning the tables and asking what I would advise. Good therapy that.

Except it didn't work. There was no conviction behind `I wont let them get me down'. You are obviously still very, very upset. People say some very hurtful things at times - often to the ones they care about most. Most of the time they don't really mean it. Come on now Pat. You've coped with a TKR. You can do anything. Carol

 

[robynhood]

 

[Dabber]

Hoping your physio goes well today and you got some sleep last night. Thinking of you.
Hugs,
Sue.

 

[micha]

Oh Pat! I have just caught up on some of your posts and I am so sorry for your on and off knee/ankle problems but even more sad that a family member could hurt you so deeply - our "kids" sometimes have no idea how to curb their tongues! You are not bitter or old and you know it no matter what anyone says. You have always been upbeat and fostering the positive and I appreciate that in you. And if you are old - well, then, so are most of us! What the heck is old anyway!!!??? Let your soul shine with your Robyn and your husband and know that there are so may people who love you and see all the wonderfulness in you! I am sending you a very long distance hug and all the best, positive thoughts!!! xo Micha

 

[robynhood]

Thank you so much Micha. I am begining to feel a little less upset. I really didnt think I would get so upset over this but I think since the op my feeling are all over the place still. This forum is so nice when you are going thru a bad patch. Youve always been there for me since the start of my posts so I thank you so much for that. I hope you are recovering well Micha. Are you still cycling a lot. I cancelled my physio until Friday when I know I will feel better then. Thanks again x x x

 

[bottomshollow]

robynhood, love that new avatar. Wonder where you got it .

 

[Jacky48]

I second the "like" on the new avatar!

 

[robynhood]

bottomshollow some very experienced talented lady did it for me

 

[bottomshollow]

Thanks for an early morning chuckle---

 

[Dabber]

What a lovely Avatar, I'm sure from one lovely lady to another.
Sue.

 

[micha]

Beautiful and powerful avatar - I hope you are feeling that too! xo

 

[patient 99]

Thanks Pat for wishing me good luck with the OS tomorrow.

I've been offered a part time job by my friend's daughter. She's an interior designer and needs a personal assistant. In reality it means doing anything and everything - from picking her son up from school when she's in London, chasing orders, doing errands etc. I really want to do it, but don't know if its too soon. What do you think? Carol

 

[robynhood]

If youre only working part time hours I personally would give it a go Carol. If you have time to get back home and relax before you start doing your own domestic stuff. To be honest I would love to do something like that instead of just being at home or going shopping. Would she let you do it on a trial basis without any firm commitment. Maybe see how you get on tomorrow with your consultant would maybe put you in a better position to decide. You are a very positive person so I think you would cope.patient 99

 

[rlwintin]

Hi Pat! I haven't been on Bonesmart for a while. I'm sorry to hear about your family problems. I too said some harsh things to my mother that make me cringe now. But you know, I loved her, I was just being critical at the time. One of the advantages of being "old" is realizing that when someone is judging it is really about them. Give it time. It's a good time now to do some things for yourself and get jiggy with it!

 

[robynhood]

So good to hear from you Randi. We are all coming up to our one year anniversary same as Debbie. Hope we all get to check in and see how we are all getting on. Thank you for your comments. Always sensible but sympathetic too. Hope you are doing well. Take care.