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TKR No Kneecap and a TKR Experience

Paula, what you are experiencing is quite normal, even though it is frustrating. I think healing sometimes goes in cycles, and you get this see-saw effect in recovery. Just rest, your body knows what it is doing. You know the mantra "if you won't die if it doesn't get done, don't do it!" I've been on this roller coaster for ten weeks now, but it is getting better :)
Love, Tabby xxx
 
Awe Paula- I'm sorry you are feeling discouraged. There were times when I was where you are in my recovery I just wanted to scream! It's so hard for us to sit and watch the world go by. Just know soon you'll be recovered and up and running again! Aren't we glad we have our companions here at BoneSmart that don't kid about our abilities at this point. I would have received that 'kid' the same way you did. I hope so much your heart will lighten soon! I speak for myself and many others here.. WE LOVE YOU!
 
@sistersinhim I sorry you had a rough night, I was right there with you, but soon we will be on the other side of the fence and our bad days will be less and less...patience my friend it will happen for you :flwrysmile:
 
Paula

[Bonesmart.org] No Kneecap and a TKR Experience
 
@sistersinhim I got nothing but a big ole {{{huggg}}} for you. I still think you are doing great and hope you get more & more better days in a row, so you can remind me of the same next month when I get whiney and annoying :-)
 
@Suz,@uva55, and @dianehelen, thank you for your uplifting messages.

I did get outside a couple of times and pulled grass and weeds and then sprayed. Just doing that little bit helped to lift up my spirits. I realized that Marilyn was just teasing, but then it hurt me. She's got a 3 day weekend and we normally would have been going camping or doing something special this weekend besides working in the yard and doing housework. I normally do all that but that has fallen on her and I feel so guilty about it. I have a riding lawn mower but I don't think I could stand the bumps and vibration of it on my infant knee. It'll be a long time before I'll be able to run the string trimmer, so she is stuck with that, too.

How do we get over feeling guilty for not being able to do what we normally do, thus causing more work for someone else. I've never liked being a bother to anyone and now, at least I can take care of my needs, but not the things I normally did work wise. Of course, I can do more this week than I did last week!

Feeling bad and not enough sleep can weigh on your emotions. The forum article warned that depression would be a problem for many of us. Today it is hitting me. After Marilyn finishes cutting the grass I can go out and blow off the walkways with the battery blower. That will help my depression, too. I've always been such an active person. Even with these bad knees all my adulthood I was able to get things done. Even though it'd take a while to complete them, I would get them done. I look forward to being able to do those things again.

My friends, please pray that I can have a good night and morning tomorrow and will able to make it back to church. Sitting for about 3 hours counting travel time will be rough, but I really want to get back to my church family and support.
 
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sistersinhim said:
My knee is a month old today and she had to have 3 Oxys last night and this morning. I've been resting, icing and elevating all morning, but I want to get up and do something constructive.
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Oh Paula - there you go again, wanting to run before you can walk! One month out, indeed! You really must know by now that this is so very, very early out. You're still in the early healing process. So take it easy! Try reading this again to refresh your mind Activity progression for TKRs

sistersinhim said:
How do we get over feeling guilty for not being able to do what we normally do, thus causing more work for someone else. I've never liked being a bother to anyone
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It's one of those things that is 'mind over matter' - meaning, if you don't mind, it won't matter! And you CAN not mind, it is entirely possibly to put yourself into a state of mind where it's not such a big deal.

Look at it this way. If it was Marilyn who was unwell, you'd be running around after her like the proverbial Mamma Walton, wouldn't you? I know that because us women are all like that! But we have to be humble enough to accept that there will be times when you need the care and others need to do the caring.

I know you'll have heard this quote from Acts 20:35
Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

But think about it this way - in order for people to be blessed in giving, there has to be those who are able to allow them to give and thereby be blessed. So it means that by fretting about not doing 'you bit' in the household, you are depriving Marilyn of a blessing. Quite a thought, that, isn't it? You should also read this Nurturing mother: how to let go and accept help
 
Hi Paula,
I think you are feeling conflicted because you are normally such an independent person, and it's difficult for you to let others do things. But you are only one month post op and the time you invest now in taking care of that knee will pay dividends in the future and ensure a good long term recovery. If you try to do too much too soon it might backfire, and increased pain and fatigue will cause more feelings of depression. Give it a few more weeks.
Romans 8 25-27 might help.
Love,Tabby xxx
 
You ladies are so right! I realize all this, but shutting off these emotions is hard, especially when I'm sitting here and my roommate is doing what I consider 'my jobs'. I remember years ago my pastor's wife said that when people needed help that we should all jump in to help, that if one person took care of everything that the others were being denied being blessed by blessing someone. I try to remember that. Now, the shoe is on the other foot and I have to let Marilyn receive her blessings and I need to get off of the pity potty. I'm so thankful for her friendship and being my co-partner in our singing ministry, sistersinhim. She has helped me more than any of my family ever has and I do not want to deny her being blessed. She is truly my sister in the Lord. Thank you ladies for putting things in the correct perspective. I do help her in many ways also, and now she can help us both by keeping our yard in good shape until I can take back over. It's fairly easy for me to do the house work because I can rest whenever I need to. And I do! I have had a good cry and feel much better with the help of your loving responses! You are my dear friends! And you know exactly what I'm going through. That's important when sharing our ups and downs. God bless you all!
 
Hey! I did it. I drove. It was only for about a mile, but I did it. It was uncomfortable and I won't be able to go far, but I can go to local places! Now, if only I'll be blessed enough to have a good night and be able to make it to Sunday School and church tomorrow! Marilyn will have to drive since it's about 20 miles away. But, I just might be able to drive it next week!
 
Yes, mam! I feel so much better emotionally than I did this afternoon! Thank you my BoneSmart family!
 
That is wonderful! Don't be afraid to put your leg up at Church and let everyone fuss over you. You deserve to receive all the loving attention they can give you. I am sure next week will be better for you.
 
Wahoooooo! In this situation, it's the BIG things-!! Happy for you Paula!

[Bonesmart.org] No Kneecap and a TKR Experience
 
Great progress, you are just reaching one milestone after another. So happy for you
 
Yipee! I remember the first time I was able to get in behind the wheel of my car. It's a great feeling to be able to do things you couldn't do. Good for you...sounds like your spirits are lifted...hope you are able to go to church tomorrow so they can be lifted even higher!
 
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Good for you, Paula! Little steps lead to bigger steps and you'll be there soon.

You know your dilemma with accepting Marilyn's help reminds me of Martha and Mary, both served and worshipped, but differently. It's important for us to learn how to accept help graciously. I felt terribly guilty when so many went out of their way to help me, but I needed to learn how to accept help and be on the receiving end.
 
I'm very happy that you drove even for a little bit. As time goes on you will start to add more 'normal' things one at a time until you will be totally recovered.
 
sistersinhim said:
She's got a 3 day weekend and we normally would have been going camping or doing something special this weekend besides working in the yard and doing housework. I normally do all that but that has fallen on her and I feel so guilty about it.
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Paula, have you read this article?
Nurturing mother: how to let go and accept help
I know you're not in a mothering situation, but most of the article is very apt.
If the situation were reversed, you would be doing all you could to help Marilyn, wouldn't you?

This is your time to be nurtured. Don't feel guilty about it. Try to think about accepting help now as an investment in a successful recovery, which will make you more able to help others later.
 
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