TKR Nana Moon's Shiny New Second Knee

[copsham]

I do feel for him in some respects. I think he misses me, as in being able to walk distances and at a reasonable pace. He misses my being able, rushing around, laughing and joking and being a general live wire, larger than life character that I used to be. I've always worked and been the hub of the household. That's all changed. Tbh he had endured this since January 2014. He'd also endured years of my bone on bone pain too. I've gone from being a greyhound to a snail.

This reflects me/ us completely. My other half is so loyal and so caring but I constantly feel guilty. Like you I was working flat out as well as being the centre of the household, making things happen. He has suffered several years of my hip getting worse, the hip op and now the foot fracture, all the time keeping house and cooking. When I was working flat out he fully supported me too. Recently we have got back to him literally doing everything around the house and all cooking again. Sometimes he looks tired and grumpy but never complains - says it worse for me!

It is hard - just thinking we talk about "working ourselves to the bone" perhaps you and I are examples of that?? !! It is so hard to be dependent on someone after a life time of the opposite.

Just sitting typing this at 8.30pm, I suggested we have a limoncello (I am a great non drinker usually) hubby beamed and has gone to pour them. So can't complain.


Hope your hubby feels better soon. I guess we must be pretty "High maintenance" once we are out of our more dynamic role
What a saga this is x

 

[Chihuahuan]

@Nana moon 27 I prefer not to pm. I think you are doing way too much at this point in your recovery. I have a feeling that it's taking an emotional toll on you again. I would hope that your family would step in to help with routine items --especially the grandchildren! I feel as though I'm repeating advice from TKR#1........Only you can control your situation. I will follow from afar........

 

[copsham]

Hi @Nana moon 27
I hope you are able to "take a breather" on Saturday (perhaps the wrong thing to say to a person with asthma?) and have a lazy day. You have been through the wars and do not need hitting when you are down in my humble opinion. So @Nana moon 27 - no vacuuming and @Chihuahuan no head banging!!

I have been to Tywyn a hundred times but never in the school summer holidays. Is it busy in August? I have just thought of those lovely fish and chips there .. mmm

Ouch ... I got an itch on my leg just tried to scratch it and found the plaster cast is still there - annoying!

Happy days!

 

[Nana moon 27]

@Chihuahuan you're dead right about me trying to do too much. I'm trying to take the pressure off everyone. I'm trying to be what I should be doing at this stage and that's getting Into some sort of normality. It's backfiring. You're right. But Jen, people drive at 7 weeks. People return to work after 12 weeks. I thought this was going to be me with my second knee. Never on my wildest dreams did I think for one minute that this would end up like the other one.

I was going to tell you privately I lost my job today and that's why you'd picked up on the emotional toll. I really didn't want to put this on the open forum but felt that, as you have been with me so long, I wanted to tell you what's really going on behind the scenes.

@copsham @Chihuahuan has known me right from the very first TKR I absolutely went to pieces and had some sort of breakdown in recovery. She's not being rude or anything with the head banging it's just that she has seen this happen all before. She's trying to make me aware for my own sake.

But I'm stronger this time around. I'm in the right zone to recover but my body just won't cooperate. I'm going off now. I will chat tomorrow. I'm absolutely exhausted.

Lovely to hear from you both. Please take care
Love Nana moon 27 x x x

 

[Pumpkin]

Ann,
I am sorry to hear about your job .
Take care of yourself, I agree with Chihuahuan, you need to slow down.

 

[Nana moon 27]

Hello @Pumpkln

She's spot on right, as are you and @Celle. I've just had a real heart to heart with my husband and I couldn't stop crying. He told me I've got to stop worrying about his problems and everyone else. He said he just wants me well agin. Anyway things I think will be ok now. I've upped my medication just 10 mil as is dropped 30. I'm in a great deal of pain and hubby said why the heck are you suffering. You're not ready enough yet.

As regards the job it had resulted in a frustrated contract. They could have just finished me off under that rule themselves. Instead they were very kind and gave me an ex gratia payment which legally they didn't have to do. The solicitor told me that this morning. This means I have been classed as resigned and come out with a few months wages too. I have to say that my employers had done their best but after 18 months it's unrealistic to keep someone on that's not even being paid any more by them.

Love Nana moon 27 xx

 

[KarriB]

What a great attitude you have, Ann! I'm afraid I'd be off the deep end had I lost my job. I didn't realize you'd been off work for 18 months. Wish you were just down the road from me so we could have a little visit and I'd give you a BIG hug!

 

[CATSMUM]

So sorry to hear you lost your job. I went through something similar many years ago due to a back injury. It was hard at the time (I was only 27) but l managed to get myself another job which I've been in since, now looking forward to retirement!
Sending hugs to you

 

[Celle]

Ann, I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your job. I can see it from your employers' point of view, too.

Your job right now is to get better. That means not overdoing it. Honestly, you'll recover much better if you do less. By trying to do more to help, you could be slowing down your recovery, which is not what anyone wants.
The best thing you can do now to help is to rest properly.

Love and hugs!

 

[Nana moon 27]

Thank you x @Celle my family/hubby have had so long of this with me. They can't understand why their friends grandparents have it done and get back to normal so quick and I don't. I think I'm a slow healer like my mum xxx

 

[copsham]

Hi @Nana moon 27
I bet losing your job was a shock even though you sort of knew it was coming. I "early retired" at 51 yrs old but then after a break had the next 10 yrs as the best working years of my life. It is okay to feel the loss after 27 yrs and its normal to be upset but then how does the song go "pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again" !!

In the short time I have known you, objectively you have gone forward and there's a whole load more development inside you, just waiting to happen.

x

 

[Kansas Teacher]

Sending hugs from Kansas too along with a reminder that "this too shall pass." Focus your energy on recovery and you may be amazed at the great things down the road for you.

Roxie

 

[kneeper]

(((Nana)))

 

[tigz]

You must feel so frustrated with the work situation, the very lengthy recuperation you've had and continue to have and dealing with your limitations with family. Know that I'm keeping you in my prayers.

- Julie

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk

 

[Ellejay]

@Nana moon 27
Ann, I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost your job, I know how much you were looking forward to returning. After such a long time away from work I'm sure that it would have been very difficult to settle back into the same role, but that doesn't lessen your disappointment. As others on here have said, take your time to recover properly, then maybe you can consider something different, you are still young, with lots to offer, we can all vouch for your positivity and enthusiasm, qualities needed in many caring jobs. I'm sure that you are shocked and upset, but I am a great believer in things working out for the best, so just rest, take your time and hopefully very soon things will begin to improve for you. Lots of hugs for my long time knee buddie xxxx

 

[Nana moon 27]

Hello all

Sorry to be not around. I needed to withdraw, think, reflect and then I realised we were supposed to go to his sisters birthday meal. I didn't want to go. I really didn't. I get on so well with her but didn't want to go. Any way we went, it was local and tbh I've had a wonderful evening chatting, socialising and being told that this is what I needed. Couldn't agree more.

Most of his family (who I've known since I was 15) said the same as you all on here. I have to try and focus on getting well in my own time. Not the expectations of others who think I should be back to normal by now.

Yesterday, I had no choice but to up the meds by 10 ml. I took breakthrough medication through the night. I had let the pain get out of control tbh and it was hard coping with that.

Today because the pain is bearable, uncomfortable but not aaarghh, I had two extra sleeps. One this morning after I'd been getting my clothes sorted for going away. I sat there, hubby came up and I said how tired I was. He said sleep then. I said I can't, I've too much to do. He said who says? So I got really comfy and fell asleep for an hour. I fell asleep again late this afternoon. I think this helped both the pain and coping going out when I hadn't wanted to.

My knee is extremely stiff but I keep trying to move it, bend it doing small heel slides. I'm going to aquacise twice this week while I'm in Wales. I'm going to do gentle moves while the others do the faster more vigorous routine. I love the bit at the end where you can go in the deep end, supported by a noodle, stretching and moving. I find that time so calm and relaxing. It's my favourite part xxx

Sleep well. The support is lovely. Thank you xx

 

[Pumpkin]

I love the bit at the end where you can go in the deep end, supported by a noodle, stretching and moving. I find that time so calm and relaxing. It's my favourite part xxx

My favorite part too!
Glad you had a wonderful time at the party chatting and visiting. Sometimes we just need to get out.
Take care of you, and let your knee heal in its own time.

 

[KarriB]

There's just something about the water, it's so calming to me and I'll miss it so much when the pools close down in a few weeks. Enjoy your time away and spending time in a pool, Ann.

 

[Celle]

Good morning, Ann.
I was thinking about your comments about feeling bad because your recovery has taken so long, and wanting to do something to help you husband. It must be hard, I know, but your recovery will go easier if you do rest enough and refrain from doing too much.

The article below may have a few thoughts in it that help you.
Nurturing mother: how to let go and accept help

 

[Nana moon 27]

Oh that was the most lovely piece written by a member. @Celle that was wonderful. Thank you x

It's well worth a read xxx