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TKR My Journey as of 12/16/13 - Over 1 Year and Still Trying

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Well @DogLoverx3 this urgent referral to the chest clinic beggars belief! 7th July! Unbelievable. I'm in this state with my Asthma. Anyway, I have asked them to put me in for a cancellation should they get one!

Then I contacted the hospital about my day surgery. She put me in, there and then. It will be done on19th June at 1.30 pm. Thankfully this is at the hospital where he did my TKR. which is literally about 10 mins drive away max.

I hope that you've had a good day today and look forward to your post x x x

All my love Nana moon 27 x x x x
 
Hi Ann. I read your post over on your thread and I honestly don't know what to say. I'm so sorry you're going through so much and I hate harping on it, but I think your allegiance to your GP is misplaced. He seems to be of the mindset to medicate the issue instead of looking to the root cause of it. I am guessing he is (much) older and 'old school'. The fact that he is keeping you on morphine when there are MANY other options out there (no, I'm not talking about the ones that you think you were immune to in the past) is criminal. As I've pointed out before, there is a big difference between addiction and dependence and I absolutely feel you're dependent on the morphine. That's why you're unable to lower the dosage ever. Your body craves the full amount so protests when you don't do it. I know you're in pain, but your doctor works for you. If you really wanted to, you could put your foot down, but you haven't. I don't write this to scold you or make you feel bad, but have you heard the saying that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it's probably a duck? I've counted almost a dozen people on here that have provided good advice and written fact as to the dangers of keeping you on morphine for so long, especially considering your chest issues. It's not doing you any good Ann. I'm not sure why you won't DEMAND something else. It's not the only drug out there that would work for you. I'm so sorry to be blunt and sound like a b*tch, but I'm worried about you and even with surgery date of June 19th (which I think is ridiculous) that's almost another full month. You're the one in charge of your body sweetie and although I know you don't want to hurt, at this point I truly feel the morphine is doing you more harm than good..... xoxoxo
 
Hi Ellen.

Thank you for your concern and I do know that you have my best interests at heart.

I actually spoke to another doctor about a month ago at the surgery as mine was off sick lol x his speciality is orthopaedics. He agreed my knee is not right. I told him I wanted different medication but he said exactly the same as my normal GP. I even asked the surgeon but he said stay on it. It is effective. I cannot win Ellen. It's totally stressing me out the whole rotten situation. I'm so frustrated you wouldn't believe. It's the honest truth that behind the scenes each time I go to the docs or OS, I beg to come off it. I have demanded and it just hasnt worked. Even my husband has got involved with both the GP and my OS. He isn't happy either. My biggest problem is not being able to take anything with anti inflammatory in it, as it upsets my asthma bad!

Each time I've managed to reduce the dose down, something happens to my knee like the stairs incident x 3, falling over the pouffe, slipping on a patch of moss on the garden path, lifting something heavy, forgetting the situation with the knee and trying to walk upstairs normally, misjudging the kerbs when crossing the road, tripping on uneven surfaces. Ellen my list is endless. I do totally stupid stuff at times but I have to get on with my life after five months plus! All I want is to be happy again. Even now, I'm writing this with tears running down my face. I want to go back to work, I want to drive, I want my independence back.

I honestly and totally agree with everyone, especially you, honest to God but these docs all have other ideas. I cannot win. I keep trying to be chirpy and positive and it doesn't work. What I write on my posts about others recoveries are true, I'm over the moon when I hear someone's been fortunate enough to get back to normal quickly, I love that.

However, when it comes to me I'm on such a downer really. My sis in law who I'm very close to, decided to ring me up about her friend whose had her knee done and is back to normal after five weeks! Driving the lot! Do you know what I feel now, when people, including my daughter or anyone else close to me, tell me about these wonder recoveries? I feel now that I am being judged for not recovering properly, as ridiculous as that may sound.

I cannot do any more than I've done. I'm tired, I'm exhausted and I've seriously had enough. I've so pinned my hopes on the 19th June. I'll be devastated if that doesn't work xx

Take care Ellen. You didn't sound like a bee really. You just care about me x x x x

Love Ann x x x
 
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June 19th will work sweetie. I'm just sorry it took so long for someone to realize that something was amiss with your knee. Maybe you should switch from morphine to vodka :heehee:? I know how frustrated you are as I was (and sometimes still am) the same way. Although we're happy for everyone else to have great recoveries, it sucks that we weren't as lucky. I think you have it worse than I do (and not having to deal with stairs every day has helped), but you will get better. I still don't agree with ANY of your doctors about keeping you on morphine for so long and truly feel that the efficacy of ANY drug lessens over time as your body builds up an immunity, so having you on it for 8+ months is ridiculous. There are so many other pain killers out there that don't have NSAID properties and from what everyone has said, morphine isn't recommended for people who suffer from asthma anyway. I know it seems like a no win, but maybe you could do some research of your own online and find a suitable substitute. I've never heard of multiple doctors flat out refusing to either take you off completely or switch up heavy narcotic meds. So strange to me. You need to get your life back and that means being able to return to work and drive. There has got to be a combination of meds that will be equally as effective without the restrictions. At this point, you're on so many different medications, they're all probably fighting one another. I'm sorry this road is so long for you, Ann. You will get better and you will get back to normal (whatever that is) ;-) xoxoxoxo
 
Something to add to your research, Ann - from what I understand even if you have had a tolerance for a medicine in the past, if you go off of that medicine for a period of time, you would not still be tolerant when you tried it again.
 
@DogLoverx3 @TexasTee @Nana moon 27 As we have come to learn through the posts from all of our new found friends across the pond, medically speaking things in the UK are different. We know that wait times are much longer in the UK than they are here in the States (at least for now). We know that formal PT is typically not used and recovery is on one's own. I also get the impression that just being able to see or consult with another doctor who might have a more enlightened opinion is also much more difficult. Sad!
 
Hi @TexasTee I researched that too and said this to him. He said he was perfectly happy with me on the morphine rather than messing up the pain relief that is currently working. Strangely today,I'm not in so much pain. If this continues I'm going reduce down by 10mg tonight. Another strange is that I sure it looks straighter. I'll know later when I strip off for bed x x x
 
I am so glad that you are feeling like you can BREATHE better @Nana moon 27. I am getting it is really a catch 22, meaning you NEED pain meds and it sounds like you have tried several other pain meds. AND the pain med. could be causing the asthma to be worse. I am also hearing you have possibly, and wonderfully begun on a med. that will really help with your breathing. Blessings to you. I really care about how you are. x x
@Pumpkln I had no idea all the health issues you have. I haven't listed mine, but I have a new (and improved) understanding of some of what you deal with day to day. I have slight sleep apnea, they said 6 mo. ago it didn't need tx. When I am at a 6-7 pain level and take 2 oxycodone, I feel short of breath for awhile. Anyway, I really see how much we all deal with day to day and how this site has helped me not to feel so very alone (which I do today.) I wish (magic wand time) that we could all be swooshed (new word) into a room and be together for a non cyber visit. (remember magic wand wish.) Is there an icon/emoticon for the magic wand? It could be a new symbol for us. Just dreaming here.
 
You're right @TexasTee on the tollerance lessening once you are off a certain drug for a period of time. I've always heard that you shouldn't be on specific medication (for pain or depression or whatever) for more than 6 months before trying to 'rotate'. Our bodies build up immunities and when the drug that we're now immune to is replaced with something else, everything sort of re=sets. In my non medical opinion, of course. :eyebrows:

@hopefaith , I'm sorry you're feeling alone today. That was one of the hardest parts for me. Sitting in my house, alone with my dogs knowing that I couldn't do much of anything. I felt like no one knew how hard this was or how much I needed help with just about everything. That's why I'm so glad I found Bonesmart. You're never alone when you're on here! We're your virtual family and support team. I had horrible bouts of depression for the 1st 41 days (yes, I counted) and cried at least once every single day. You're getting close to that day when things seem easier though! I felt like I turned a corner, as they say, around week 7. Sadly it was a false alarm and short lived, but then around week 8, things did indeed start getting a bit better and easier. Some of the things though, like the tight band feeling and the horrible stiffness in the morning, took a bit longer to go away. I think you're doing great. I promise it will get better. And easier!:flwrysmile:

@Nana moon 27 , glad you're breathing easier today. I hope reducing your morphine works, but you've tried that before and as we've all said, if your body is used to a certain level of medication, it will be very hard to make it satisfied with less.:bow:

I know you're right @Phil75070 , it just seems like there should be exceptions to that rule...:old:

So I've decided that this weekend I would try to make some headway with the house. After totally mucking up my brilliant idea to pain one of my closet surrounds, I have moved on to hanging more pictures and organizing the garage some. While hanging a picture over the bed, I knew I needed to kneel in order to place it. I tried just kneeling on my 'good' knee so I wouldn't have to kneel on my TKR one. That didn't work so well, so I bit the bullet and knelt on both knees. Yeah, uhm, I won't be doing that again anytime soon. :mute:

I now have unmatched closet surrounds, crooked pictures, dogs with ant in the their pants and a semi-organized garage. I could fix it all and work some more on things or I could grab a book and go lay by the pool. 3 guesses as to what I'm choosing. :SUNsmile:

Have a great day all!
 
Hi @DogLoverx3

At least you're trying to do these things. I think if you're getting fed up I'd do the latter, the book and the pool might relax you and make you feel better x x x that way you may feel more energised and feel more productive when you return to those tasks x x x

Take care Ellen

Love Nana moon 27 xoxoxo :puppysmooze:
 
@DogLoverx3 thank you for your compassionate words...very kind. I hope you melt at the pool in relaxation. That'll be so much better for you anyway.:SUNsmile: The weather here is overcast,gray and flash flood watches everywhere. The gray may be affecting MY gray. :cry:And thanks for your words about how you felt ....that really helps to know others have gone through this.
 
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Hi @Phil75070 you are exactly right about the waiting lists over here. They can be quite long. This is because most of us do not have private medical insurance. The reason for this is that all people who work over here, pay National Insurance contributions. This funds our National Health Service. This in turn provides free treatment for all, whether they work or not. The problem is now that due to the recession, which has resulted in a lot of unemployment, a benefits culture (some people will not work and are kept by the state, again from the working peoples taxation system) and a number of other factors. There are more users of the service who have never paid into the system. This system was never meant to cope with the sheer number of people having to use it. I have said that when I extend my working hours further, I will start paying for private health insurance. I have found a massive difference between private PT and NHS PT. This is what is spurring me on about going privately later when I can afford it. It's frustrating for people who have contributed or their partners/husbands/wives have too at some point in their lives and cannot get the treatment they deserve!

I totally agree with what you said to hopefaith about the similarity in our recoveries but at different times. Well said Phil

Love Nana moon 27 xoxoxox
 
Here, Here for a book by the pool - I spent the day finishing the guest bath reno but thankfully it's 95% there - just need to do a bit of trim work and the pretty part of decorating all is complete. Totally worth it though - this is the guest suite but it's my husbands main bath - I decided after my last marriage that the road to destruction was in sharing the bathroom and my new husband is taking no chances! He even moved out of the closet in the master so I have both...I won the husband lotto! AND, by the way, he's 45 and this is his first marriage, no worries, there are still lots of over-achievers out there who were too busy to date until now.

If I were closer I'd be happy to come help with the home settling, I'm a champ at hanging pics and for the moment I can still kneel...well, as long as its not for long. LOL I'm so delusional!
 
You certainly did win the husband lotto @TexasTee ! Good job on not only securing your own bathroom, but finishing up the decorating on his! Good job! I painted my other closet surround today and although I didn't think it was possible, it's actually worse than the 1st one! :heehee: I'm okay with it though. I'll take drippy nickel over shiny brass any day. Plus, my friends sort of expect me to half a$$ home repairs so wouldn't want to shock them! :chinstroke:OMG, that would be awesome if you lived closer! I have a friend that likes to 'help' with stuff like that, but she seems to prefer to do things her way - even thought it's not her house....

LOVED sitting by the pool today! It's practically private as no one in my subdivision uses it apparently. It's just 2 houses down and very quiet. I took my book, a towel, a water bottle and just sat and read and relaxed for about an hour and a half. It was lovely. And much needed.

I have a friend coming over in a bit to help me take the doggies for a walk and then we may go catch a movie.

I'm sorry about your weather @hopefaith . This is supposed to be one of the last nice weekends we have here before it gets disgustingly hot, so I'm glad I was able to enjoy it for a bit.

Not to jinx anything, but my knee has been okay today. I lasted a few hours without having to take anything, but broke down and took 2 Tylenol + 1 Tramadol mid morning and that has lasted me all day. That's not too bad. Sure, I wish I didn't have to take anything for pain, but I'm not quite there yet. Seems as if my swelling is a tiny bit less though which is always a good thing.

@Nana moon 27 , I hope you sleep well tonight. Yes, we have to at least keep trying. One of these days we'll get there! xoxoxoxo
 
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Hi @DogLoverx3 if you ever come to England, forget my doctor and come and visit me with @dogwheels and anyone else who wants to meet up. I think we'd get on famously. We all have that cheeky often inappropriate humour! I think it'd be a riot, so funny x x x x x

Ellen I am over the moon for you regarding your pain level. WTG less meds hooray! Let's hope that this is a new beginning. I was talking to Celle earlier and she said it was about a year before she was really right. She put that on my thread this evening. Funny enough my knee looks a little less angry. I love that you got some quality time for yourself by the pool. How lovely and peaceful. Good for you x x

Btw what were y going to say about yr friend at the end of the post to Texastee? "I have a friend that likes to 'help' with stuff like that, but she seems to prefer..."

Ellen, please have a lovely night my friend and sleep well too. I hope this pain med reduction goes well for us both x x x x xoxoxoxox x x x x x :puppysmooze:
 
Hahha, I finished the sentence above Ann - she walked in as I was typing my post and I just forgot to finish my train of thought :blush: We took the dogs for a walk and now my knee is letting me know I did too much today. :sigh: One of these days I'll get it right.... xoxoxo

Oh, and yes, of course if and when I make it back to England you will be on the itinerary! xoxoxo
 
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