TKR Mireille's RTKR 4 months

[L.I.T]

@Mireille Oh no, I'm so sorry! My moody leg is contagious It's funny when I think of all the clicks and pops I had before - and now, here I am worried about clicks and pops all over again

There must be something in the air - I spent last night trying to explain to my mom how to check her 'fat pads' (she is 1 month ahead of me with her RTKR) because she thinks she might be swollen there, too - and her PT keeps egging her on with exercises. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a full moon (cue Twilight Zone music).

Regardless, I hope your knee feels better tomorrow. Sending lots of green light hugs your way!

 

[L.I.T]

I remember a while back, here in the US, the sunspots were bad, and so everyone said "blame the sunspots" when something went wrong. Then a few years later, there was the government shutdown and everyone said "blame the fiscal cliff".

Well, I'm going to start a new movement... When something in our knees is wrong, "BLAME THE SOFT TISSUE," It might not fix anything, but at least we can point the finger!

Next thing you know, we will all be leading marches against soft tissue abuse!

 

[Mireille]

@L.I.T Thanks!

For a couple of days, I've been in full "regret" mode. Why didn't I wait longer? Did I really have to do this now? Was it really that bad? Back to the crying and whining. Angry at my husband when he says, "it's been 6 weeks, you should be better", ughh....emotions smacking me right on the face

Can't help it, I know it will get better. I know this is normal. I still don't like it

Not going to lie, I had to Google what the heck were fat pads, lol. Now, I know. Darn soft tissue, it does feel better to blame something other than the rain. Get it? Really showing my age, lol.

Well, can't go back an undo this so gotta keep moving forward. Just another day in knee paradise.

 

[L.I.T]

Awwwww, sweet @Mireille. BIG hugs this morning. I, too have had those same feelings of late - I was *not* the person who couldn't walk and do things around the house. I just couldn't walk more than. 5mi, hike or bike. I could still swim, even if it made my knee swell. So I keep thinking "well, at least then I could walk *some*!"

My hubby is a lot older than I am (he's young at heart and health, I am an old soul... And apparently body LOL), and I wanted to take advantage of the moments NOW so that we could hike, bike, and even just walk around the Neighborhood while we both still were able. And now I think "what if I can't even walk normally, again?" I just have a hard time trusting my own body to do what it should.

I think there are those people who just plod through this process, able to stay in the moment and take what they get. Then there are us scaredy-cats (me) who seem to worry about things like "am I normal", "what's happening to my body", "what if it comes out worse than before"? It's just how we are wired, and it's hard for us to have faith and be patient.

Oddly, my mom told me that at 6 weeks, she hit a spot of frustration and depression, too. Maybe at 6 weeks, the healing process slows down a bit and we want MORE, MORE! Or maybe we are are just *tired* of living life attached to a pile of pillows and ice machines/bags. Maybe we are off the sedating drugs (for the most part) and are bored. Ugh - maybe it's a combo of all those things!

My goal is to try to look at this like breaking in a pair of hiking boots - I'm going to have to be uncomfortable and get some blisters before they are going to be ready for a lifetime of wear. Easier said than done, of course

I don't have any words of wisdom that we all don't already know. But I'm right there next to you in the same boat. Hang in there, we'll keep rowing, and eventually we'll get to shore!

Much love!

 

[Mireille]

You made me cry @L.I.T that's exactly how I feel but you write it about it so much better.
Thank you so much! Lots of hugs going your way!

 

[Celle]

Hugs to both of you as you go through this frustrating stage of recovery.
Things are going to get better!

 

[Mireille]

Thanks @Celle Can I move? I don't like where I'm at.

 

[Celle]

You will move - all it takes is time and a huge bucket-load of patience.

 

[Mireille]

Oh, I decided to take my car for a short drive, you know, test the waters. Literally a 5 minute drive round trip. Wow, by the time I got back, my knee had ballooned again on the medial side. I went for a walk earlier today and no additional swelling. Guess driving wasn't the smartest or best idea. Lesson learned. Sigh...

 

[L.I.T]

xoxo @Mireille and @Celle

@Mireille , I have had to drive since week 2 b/c I didn't have anyone to drive me to PT - hubby had to work. Don't know if this will help you, but I got a gel ice wrap thing from the hospital when I was released (a TKR party favor apparently ...sarcasm intended LOL). Anyhow, it has two gel inserts, so I keep them in the freezer for when I need to drive. I wrap one around my knee, and then take the other in an ice chest with me (since my drives are 1 hr each way with 1 hr of PT in between). It helps to keep my swelling down from the bending gettiing in and out of the car, as well as the moving from the accelerator and brake. And if I'm really looking for a moment of sympathy, I'll even keep it on as I'm walking into PT or the grocery store....you know, just so people won't run over me with their carts!

 

[Spex10]

My confidence has certainly taken a knock. My first reaction these days is 'oh I can't do that' if I'm asked anywhere.
Also @Mireille I'm soooo sick of my pile of pillows cluttering the place up. All the accoutrements of illness lying around are depressing. I suppose I could put them all away but would have to keep getting them out again. Oh well. That would be exercise!!

 

[L.I.T]

Oh, and @Mireille - YES, I got it! Girl you know it's true!

 

[L.I.T]

@Spex10 ! I know what you mean. I have amassed such a pile of pillows, styrofoam, towels, ice chests and packs, and cords with which to plug them all in....that my husband actually fell over them bringing me hot chocolate a week ago I don't dare put them up, either because I know as soon as I do, I'll need it out again, and that would involve extra travel!

Someone invited hubby and I to a dinner party tomorrow - we will be working late, and couldn't go anyhow. But I kept thinking "No way could I go and sit for 4 hours without elevating and icing!" Oh, but I do have horrible cabin fever!

 

[Mireille]

@Spex10 I'm going to do a bonfire with all my pillows once this is all over with. Maybe I'll throw in the ice packs. I'll have to get new ones but it will be worth it. For sure, I need a new mattress, mine already has my body imprint on it. Haven't spent this much time in bed my entire life, ugh....

 

[Mireille]

@L.I.T I thought i was the only one with presents from the hospital. I guess I'm not so special after all.

You're a trooper. I can't even imagine driving at 2 weeks. I've been lucky that my BFF has been taking me to PT. Next time I drive I'll certainly use your idea of gel packs. It's going to be a while before I try again.

My pretty, turquoise cane is my fashion accessory. People get out of my way and most everyone else with a cane, wheelchair, crutches,etc. say hello and ask how I'm doing. Great way to meet new people. I actually had a guy ask me, "knee or ankle?", as I answered he kept walking pretty fast with a terrible limp and an angry looking scar on his Achilles. It was swollen and red, I felt bad for him.

I'm planning on ditching therapy completely and going to Puerto Rico to visit my family for a week. Will work from there, ice and elevate. Change of scenery and extended family will be good for my soul. Hoping to get permission from OS this Thursday.

 

[Mireille]

So today is my 7 week newkneeversary! Have moderate swelling since Tuesday morning and back to the painkillers. Tight band feeling back with a vengeance.

I can still bend my knee as much as before (around 100 ROM) but it feels weird. Feels like rubber? Very kinda bendy. Not sure how to describe it. Just weird.

Nervous about my 1st post op visit tomorrow, fear of hearing bad news. This surgery has turned me into a negative Nelly. I'm not a fan of uncertainty. I like facts. I like to know things. I like science. This constant wondering is driving me nuts. Nothing is cut and clear. My knee has taken over my life and I want it back!

 

[L.I.T]

@Mireille, does your knee kind of feel like when you flex it, it wants to bounce back out?

 

[Mireille]

@L.I.T kinda sort of. It's the most flexible it's been this whole time, the joint itself doesn't even hurt. I can lift my leg and just rock the knee back and forth without any problem. It's weird

 

[RMasano]

TKR is such a difficult surgery. It is not like you have your appendix out. Pretty much everyone comes out the same. With this, it is so individual!!!

 

[L.I.T]

I was wondering if it was similar to mine, but it sounds different - mine is stiff, even though I have good flexion. And if I'm just hanging it off the edge and then pull in (flex), it's like a piece of rubber that is fighting me and wants to pull back to 90°...like pulling a rubber band too far and it snaps back to place.

I have no idea what either of our 'ails' are, but I will say this - overdoing my leg set me back about 2 weeks and gave me a whole new set of 'odd feeilings'. Just tonight am I back to 2 weeks ago when I was feeling all the aches and bone pain (my turtle came back to the race!).

Maybe it's just a setback, and nothing more. Although I don't like that you were having medial pain, though, either.

I'll be saying my prayers for you at your OS appt. I do understand what you mean about liking science and wanting to know. We are awfully concrete people in some ways. My guess is that it will be a wait and see game.... But that's hard to do when you don't trust the alien inside of your knee yet!