THR Me2 and Recovery

[Me2]

Totally terrific post op visit!!! All restrictions gonzo!!! Proceed with caution on all fronts! No swinging from chandelier but ok to cautiously proceed to wild and crazy 6 to12 weeks post op. We did discuss that he, of course, would never tell but that it is a very small hospital if I break it! Lol. But I can drive, walk without cane, sleep however, maneuver to put socks/clothes on. No more bandaging except for my own comfort. Advise no gym, dentist or gyne visit for same 6+ week. I didn't realize how first PTs dire warnings still were in back of my mind. Such a relief!

 

[Me2]

Also graphic detail warming......finally got picture of damaged parts he removed. The red piece is slice taken out to make room for removing femoral head (like Superpath?). And the femoral head which is supposed to be white and smooth. Apparently lots of bone showing through.

 

[Dieter]

Excellent news @Me2!!!!! Your incision is healing nicely! sounds like you are ready to saddle up the horses and ride em to a froth!!!
quite a nice picture of your femoral head... :b

 

[MajorHeidi]

Wow Sheryl, great pics, thanks for posting and sharing!
Great report , too!
Look out world, here you come!

 

[teakea66]

Great report @Me2. Love the pics also. I never really thought about how those parts would look. Keep up the good work and start polishing the chandelier


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[Cantabrigian]

Sounds great!
You'll have a whale of a time swinging through the rooms from one chandalier to another.

 

[Me2]

Let's see. I've done much last 36 hours .....

Both occupational therapist and physical therapist "discharged" me so another phase done. On to outpatient next week.

After sleeping all evening, hubby and I had some simply splendid play time. Need a little more strength in the leg and a little incision pain but ......smiling.

Looking back I think the good sex was first to go. I think even before first groin pain I blamed sexual difficulties on my husband and I gaining a few pounds. That was even quite a few months before I decided to start getting back into shape with running and many months before I fell from horse.

As I mentioned I did wear jeans today! Soft and loose and felt good. Hubby talked me into spending day at giant outdoor farmer and flea market. Long car ride and lots of walking. Got a little achy and top of thigh really for tender and right. Then I realized that in my relief to not have to do injection I forgot to take Celebrex. My body reminded me that yes I so need some pain med. that's where I was last night. About to revel in the glory of the day when I fell asleep just before posting.


Sheryl from Pittsburgh
LTHR on 4/2/2014
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[Me2]

And now I wake up, at the requisite 4 a.m., with an overwhelming sense of loss. Please tell me somebody else is out there that as much as I love, love, love being able to walk with limp (when I am not tired or when I focus), love having no real ache or sharp pains or sore back, love that recovery is going so unbelievably well, love making sweet love to my hubby, love being able to "spread'em", I still am sobbing for two hours over the loss of body parts and not knowing what was done to my body during surgery.

Oh, I so wish I had stopped, got up off the table, and ran when they said I had to have sedation. I figured I would just have to accept, that I would be able to accept what I couldn't change. I don't want these fake parts in me any more. I don't want to wake up at 4 am mourning my losses when I physically feel good, not just good, fantastic, when I've gained so much. I'll take the 4 a.m. physical pain.

I wish I could have expressed this to the docs at the pre-op. I choked and they assumed like powers that be here at B.S. assumed that it was just a control issue, that I needed to trust my surgeon, and the O.R. staff. It wasn't about controlling them it was about knowing what was happening to my body what was done to my body so it wasn't the unknown. The unknown is so much worse than the known.

Like the catheter even - I was so afraid worried about that but I was groggy awake for that and it didn't bother me during or after - kind of revelled in it. I had hoped seeing the pictures of parts they took would soothe my mind and it has some, during the day. But now in the wee crazy hours of the morning, I want to touch it to say good bye, it was my body.

Okay now the words are down, will I post this for all my friends to see? Yep, I'm the crazy one. Please don't judge me, my friends, or heavens especially don't feel sorry for me. I just need to know that someone else out there has dealt with this "pain" successfully. Or is there a drug that I can take to relieve this pain? Sorry, folks, even I won't understand this by this afternoon, but I've got to find a way past this part.

 

[glmrphy]

@Me2 , Well, hon... I havent awakened crying over this, but I had definitely had very dark thoughts about loss of body parts that I was born with, bore my children with, played basketball with, etc.... It would be kind of surreal to think those thoughts. Some resentment, melancholy, a little anger. But it would pass. I still touch the side of my hip and think, wow, it's really in there. I dont feel sorry for you, would never do that! But, in some tiny way, I do mourn what I was born with and what I no longer have. I am sure this must be normal, and I am glad you posted this, bc although our thoughts are just that- our OWN thoughts, I am sure we have all had similar.

 

[Dieter]

Sheryl, when you balance all, you will likely be able to internalize that your "original equipment" hip had failed you and you are much better off w/o it...kind of like that old boyfriend you had before your DH...you thought he was EVERYTHING, maybe even THE ONE...until he failed you and you kicked him to the curb, which hurt, but ended up great because you met the guy who would carry you for the rest of your life...be strong, you kicked that failed hip to the curb, have great new parts that, like your DH, will carry your for the rest of your life if treated right!

 

[VF]

I also feel this way, but feeling so well is starting to be the "new normal". My procedure and hospitalization took one day so had no time to dwell. Everyone feel good and thank you for sharing.


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Right anterior approach on April 15, 2014

 

[psychteach]

I can understand your feelings. I think of that thought a lot. But as I realize how cruel this pain is to my body I am starting to think of this new part as a gift to this amazing body I have that has produced amazing children, got me through wonderful and not so wonderful times. You new hip had stopped the endless work that your body had to do to just maintain .. With all that energy your body has nothing left if it needs to fight worse.i know the idea is really freaky.. But your body is thanking you and you are on the road to healing and full energy.


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[psychteach]

@Dieter LOVE your analogy... So so true. Great post.


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[charmed-life]

I can't say I had as emotional a reaction but I did think about it a lot - not as much now but sometimes. I have wanted back my "real" hip and dislike worrying about every little possible pain being a complication. Before I was well aware of the pain's meaning and source. Now there is something artificial - which in part just seems weird and in part bothers me as beyond my control - not that I could control the old hip.

 

[Dmcfad2]

@Me2 I actually felt a lot of that before the surgery when I was trying to make up my mind to do it or not. Did I want to give up my real hip? Even though it gave me grief sometimes, I knew it, it was part of me and I knew what to expect and what it could do for me. Now I have to think about having something "fake" inside me.....think about dislocating it by doing something I shouldn't...think about falling down and hurting it....think about it later attacking me because it is a foreign substance in my body...I had anxiety and panic attacks over it when I was making my decision. Since the surgery, I still have had my doubts. Everyone always told me "you will be SO glad you had the surgery. You will wonder why you waited so long"..........well, to be totally honest, I may be in the minority, but I don't feel that way. I still mourn the loss of my real hip. I still wonder if I made the right decision. This has been and will be a long recovery and now I have all these other things to think about. I know I could have gone on the way I was for a long time. My pain did not impact my day to day activity yet. But, what good does it do me to have these thoughts? I did the surgery and this is my new body and I will embrace it. I think we have to trust that our surgical team did everything they could to do the right things for us, even if we weren't aware of what they were doing because we were sedated. I hope you can get some peace about it. As a matter of fact, I KNOW you will find peace about it. And I will, too.

 

[Josephine]

The red piece is slice taken out to make room for removing femoral head (like Superpath?).

Not at all. When the head is removed and the socket prepared and relined, the neck has to be trimmed to take the stem.

I still am sobbing for two hours over the loss of body parts and not knowing what was done to my body during surgery. I don't want these fake parts in me any more.

I am always intrigued when people say things like this. Do you feel the same when you have a decayed tooth filled or extracted? What's the difference? It's damaged, worn out, like worn out brake linings on the car. Time to get new ones!

they assumed like powers that be here at B.S. assumed that it was just a control issue

I'd be very surprised if anyone on here, staff or members, said or implied anything like that.

 

[MajorHeidi]

@Dieter Profound analogy you posted. well done!
Sheryl, @Me2 its so interesting how different everyone can be, isn't it?
I feel like I am a control freak, but never once have I thought about the replacement hip per se, or felt bad about ditching the old one.
I know you will wrap your arms around your new hip and be happy it is providing you with such pleasure now.
Hugs

 

[VF]

Eating dinner out no cane anterior surgery last Tuesday!


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[Me2]

Not at all. When the head is removed and the socket prepared and relined, the neck has to be trimmed to take the stem.

That's how the surgeon explained the small piece to me -- that he takes about a finger-width out first to have room to remove femoral head.

I am always intrigued when people say things like this. Do you feel the same when you have a decayed tooth filled or extracted? What's the difference? It's damaged, worn out, like worn out brake linings on the car. Time to get new ones!

I certainly didn't say it was a rational thought! For me, the irrational thoughts are really the toughest. I thought I had dealt with this, as I mentioned in my pre-op thread:
"Having to have foreign thing in my body for the rest of my life - realized how stupid considering I have mouthful of cavities and dental crowns. Really, what’s the difference ya idiot!"
But, to be honest, I do have my own teeth that were pulled as well as all my children's teeth kept in special little "tooth fairy" boxes . . . they told me they couldn't let me have the bone to "properly" dispose of. I hoped that the picture would allow me to let it go. I'm still working on it.

@Dmcfad2 @VF @MajorHeidi @charmedlife @psychteach Thank you for words of encouragement! Just a bad night. Set me up for a melancholy kind of day but I did not take any naps so I am exhausted and will sleep thru the night! And husband gave me a drink or two -- I only drink once or twice a year so it should be a good nights sleep for me!

@Thanks @Dieter -- I horde old boyfriend, too, he's still a very special person to me, we were just better friends then partners. Good analogy though - I get it. I'm still working on these things --- just the crazy 4 a.m. thoughts.

 

[Dmcfad2]

I always find it interesting how my level of tiredness directly affects my emotional state. I didn't sleep well last night and found myself emotional again this morning.....just felt sad and depressed that I was having to go through this recovery and wanting to be back to normal right now and wondering if I'll ever get there. I keep thinking I should be past those thoughts and feelings and then they rear their ugly heads again. I am feeling better tonight, though.