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THR Layla's Recovery

Thank you all for well wishes, virtual hugs and prayers. Much appreciated!

Hi @SaraK you asked if my mom is limping and the answer is yes, ever so slightly.
I explained to her about using an assistive device until there's no limp. It fell on deaf ears.
She met with the PA today for her first post op and was advised she wear the TEDS
for an additional month. Six weeks total, she is currently 13 days post op and got rid
of the TEDS last week. She told the PA she'd chop off her legs before she wears them for
another month. I can't deal, with her. She and I are currently at an impasse.
I need a mental health break from her :heehee: Possibly you can take care of "your mother"
yourself, Sara, when it comes time for her TKR :rotfl:

I'm wondering about the diminished pain threshold you mentioned in the elderly @BeBe
It is interesting and I'm wondering if it came into play with my mom....
In my opinion she's acting ridiculous but possibly she's really not suffering any pain?

At this point in time.....Stubborn sounds too nice @TinyMom and @clodaghcov
I'm starting to think more along the lines of bull head, battle axe, crotchety, unflattering terms such as those :heehee:

I'll practice the relaxation, deep breathing and counting to ten @gillycat11 and a little of this too > :martini:
Heck, maybe even a lot of that! :martini: :martini:
WHY can't she just behave like you, @AJinNH? :hairpulling: :heehee:

A great week to you all!
 
Just remember that we're not given more than we can handle, so this is all your own fault! If you didn't have such a calm, soothing disposition, our mom would probably act just like @AJinNH .:rotfl:

Seriously, this too shall pass. you may need to talk to the OS for alternative to TEDs - is she on a blood thinner or can she be given the choice between the TEDs and the blood thinner (like toddlers, a choice between 2 alternatives sometimes works better than an edict to do 1 thing)? They must have other non-compliant patients. Even if they don't, they might be willing to say that another alternative is better than nothing.

Let me know when Mom is coming to St. Louis for TKR (but you might not want her back after she's been under my supervision and tutelage)! Was that your shudder I just felt or an earthquake? :rofsign:
 
Can your Mum take a fish oil capsule to thin the blood? It might be a compromise she’s willing to make. I know feisty Mums can be very draining but you have to remember it’s that very stubbornness and independence that helps them to overcome these health obstacles. My Mum was very non compliant, irritable, stubborn and cranky. One day she stopped and became quiet and compliant and accepted everyone’s help. That was the day she decided to die. She refused all treatment and died 6 days later. Be grateful your Mum still has that old fighting spirit. Good luck.
 
Well I haven’t exactly been a good girl. I thought I knew best about how much pain meds I needed even though everyone on BS, plus my OS’s NP have warned me to stay ahead of the pain. I have had low level pain, but still need the meds more than I thought. And sometimes I ‘forget’ and walk a few steps without my crutches. Bad girl.

@Layla your mom and my dad are two peas in a pod. I worked in healthcare my whole life, and know which are the good hospitals in the area and which are not so good. Do you think my dad would listen to my warnings before his knee replacement surgery? I could have got him in with one of the top OS in the Boston area. He was so stubborn and insisted on going where he wanted to go. He ended up with a MRSA infection and had to have the replacement removed and replaced with an antibiotic puck, plus IV antibiotics. Then when he had the second surgery months later something happened, we suspect he was dropped, but they said it was just a coincidence, but long story short, he was rushed back into the OR less than 12 hours later with a spine injury that left him a paraplegic.

I know exactly how frustrated you’re feeling, but the truth is that there isn’t much you can do. Please don’t feel bad that you can’t get your mom to listen, it doesn’t help anyone. I’d reach out to anyone who she might listen to, and if that doesn’t work then all you can do is Let Go and Let God.

Sending both of you hugs :console2:
 
@Layla hi lovely lady. Your stories of your mum are making me laugh! I can also hear your frustration. Hope you had a lovely Easter and she has been behaving herself!
 
Right there with you on the frustration over parents.
Dad meets even gentle concern by snapping on my sister and I AMD can just be pure mean to poor stepmother.
I think being restricted in Any way just actually Angers him.
Crotchety is right.
Good luck :sigh:
 
@Layla yep I'm still praying for extra guardian angels for your mom!
I'm on this goofy uncooperative iPad or I could find a few research papers for you. Medscape has a discussion. Some studies unconclusive, many seem anecdotal; difficult allaround due to individuals pain management/ tolerance issues. Etc.
Back in my psych days seemed if elderly were on anti anxiety meds, pain issues were lessened, totally anecdotal there however. Also need for medication dosages lessens in some cases.

My own MIL, who was NEVER known for her stoic pain tolerances in younger years, confounded her oncologists who were at the ready to prescribe narcotics for her metastatic bone cancer; she maintained her "uncle Arthur" (arthritis) was just fine with a very occasional regular strength Tylenol. This came straight from her cronies at the senior living center, once there she never complained of pain. Badge of courage maybe?
She was on anti anxiety meds. That was non- negotiable.

My mom had minimal pain at 78 with her THR recovery, only having issues due to the dislocations. She and your mother may have been twins? My mom would never have taken anything stronger than Excedrine, for anything, EVER. She could have used a few Valium sprinkled in her soup though...she took no medication ever other than Excedrine for migraines. And a few for her THR.
My own sister, who I concider a pain wuss, from past issues, stopped everything but plain Tylenol and her walker after three days!
Back to complete ranch chores in 4 weeks. She's had two hips and a knee.

So your mom might be that person who is having a minimally painful recovery. Coupled with her naturally high pain tolerances. Just so she remembers to take it slow.

As far as needing a break from mom, I had to move 1/2 way across the country to better cope with mine.

I'm there for ya sister!
 
She's taking aspirin as a blood thinner @SaraK she will not wear the TEDS.
That's on her if something goes wrong. My mom is very competitive, always has been.
I believe you'd even find her to be a challenge, Sara. Not even kidding!

She does take Fish Oil @Gidget You are correct in that the her strong will and stubbornness is what's
propelling her through recovery like a crazy person. I know one day she will tire and stop fighting the good fight as you mentioned your mom did. Can't even imagine....I'm sorry for your loss, Gidget, even if it wasn't recent. Hugs to you.

Oh yes, you've been a good girl, @AJinNH, compared to my mom, yes you have been!
MRSA infection with your dad....that sounds very scary! I am so sorry for ALL that he suffered and naturally for you too as his daughter. What a very sad story.
Thanks for the advice on Letting Go and Letting God. Why do I always think I need to interfere?!!

Thanks for the well wishes @Bevlah sometimes my mom's ridiculous behavior makes me laugh also.
Laugh and shake my head!

I know you get it @mojo I hope your week is better than the last :prayer: :fingersx:

Thanks for prayer @BeBe
Your mom and my mom do sound an awful lot alike. The story of your sis is a reminder of how different we
all are and how varied our recoveries are also. This resource is great for ideas, encouragement and support but my heart goes out to those who struggle a bit more in early recovery and worry they're not making the grade.
Thanks for the re-assurance on taking a break. Realizing I'm not alone in my feelings helps take away the smidge of guilt I'm feeling in taking a few steps back temporarily.

I don't think my mom will see my venting @MyAussieGirl she knows my frustrations with her so even if she saw it, it wouldn't be news!

A great rest of the week to all!
 
Hi @Layla sorry for the depressing story about my dad. No sleep plus drugs has been affecting my judgement.

My dad was a stubborn guy with a wild sense of humor that everyone loved (except when he was tormenting me). Did I say he was stubborn? I miss our ‘discussions.’

I’m back to being a good girl having learned my lesson about reducing the pain meds too soon. :angel:
 
Hi @AJinNH
No apologies necessary. Sadly, it is reality. Unfortunate and unimanagable.
The poor guy! As his daughter and someone who loved him it had to be heartbreaking.
I realize it wasn't your intention but it sure puts arguing with my stubborn mother into perspective.
Betting the memories of some of your "discussions" bring a smile to your face.

Hoping your pain is under control and you're getting the rest you want and need.
To many cozy naps in the coming days! :sleep:
 
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Layla, my Mum passed away 5 months ago. It seems an eon since I’ve seen her but yesterday since she died. Time passing is dependant on perspective. I feel your frustration. You want only the best for you Mum and your Mum just wants to do what she wants to do. The fact that this frustrates you and worries you means that you care! Give yourself a pat on the back for advocating the best care for your Mum...a lot of people out there don’t have anyone in their corner. I’m sure deep down somewhere your Mum is listening and knows you care. I used lots of deep breaths and meditation to deal with my Mum. It didn’t always work and that’s when a glass of wine came in handy.
 
Thanks for your insight and wise words @Gidget
I'm sorry for the recent loss of your mom and I'm sure that you're missing her.
As far as my mom....It is her life and recovery and I need to let her live it as she chooses.
Not easy but I'm getting better at it.
Hope you're doing well and I wish you a wonderful weekend!


Hahaha! That's a possibility. Wouldn't put anything past her @MyAussieGirl


Thanks @Mireille
Nothing I can't handle.
You have your hands full and I will be amongst those cheering you on!
 
Hope all is well with you @Layla.
Going for much deserved hairdo...little Mojo had had three or more since over had my hair done.
I'll hate it, probably...I always do...but want to have something different and have some PR to do for food bank and I look like a scruffy hippy:nah:
Hope your weekend is warmer and wonderful.:SUNsmile:
Hope mom is behaving.:praying:
 
I'm good @Mojo333 a lil vacay from mom does a body good!

Well....at least you're taking care of the real Mojo :heehee:
Now go take care of YOU. Enjoy that cut and color, or whatever you're doing.
I'm sure you'll look beautiful!

A high of 27F here today as you're basking in the 70's -80's I'll bet?
Hope things are improving with the fam and that your weekend is peaceful and relaxing! :loveshwr:
 
Competition and fight might be what helps your mum pull off a fantastic recovery. If she's determined not to let the procedure or restrictions stop her - its probably part of the battle. Just scary for people watching and supporting.
Wishing you a peaceful weekend with healing, strength and recuperation for you both.
 
Hi Layla just been catching up with your thread . Hope you are recovering well despite the best efforts of your mom . Kind regards and hoping you get some “youtime” this weekend.
 
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