That's about all you can do, JennyLynne. In my husband's case, he'll make an entirely off-hand remark that he has no idea how much it has derailed me from goals I'd been making progress on achieving. That's why I was pleasantly surprised that he's done such a good job supporting me emotionally through this knee replacement. He was only so-so for helping around the house, but he did the absolute minimum I needed from him, and I realized I needed what I did get from him far more than help around the house. To his credit, his back bothers him, he doesn't sleep well, and he has general aches and pains all over, so, despite being a remarkably active 78-year-old man, he has legitimate issues that make it difficult for him to do more than what he usually does.