Good day. Please avert your eyes if you don't want to descend into the coal mines of btkr recovery.
So I'm coming up on 2 full months, July 1 to Sept 1. I know rationally that it takes a long time to heal and regain abilities, but at age 52 I feel like I'm 102 a lot of the time--and the rational mind is no match for the gut feeling that somehow I've added 50 years to my age and it will never go away--it's hard on my ego and hard physically, too. My knees hurt all the time. Sitting down and standing up, and going down stairs all hurt like heck, leaving them in one position for more than 5 min, finding a comfy sleeping position . . . ouch, whether or not I've taken Tramadol.
Will I always have to plan my movements, find the only place in the room where I can stand back up if I sit down, only be out for 2-3 hours at a time on carefully chosen missions lest my knees rebel for a full week afterward? I know the answer is no, but it's been 3 weeks or so since I've experienced noticeable improvements, and I seem to be caught in the doldrums.
Quad tendonitis is painful, and takes a long time to heal. It's there b/c my quads are weak from years of disuse, and I am so eager to build back that strength, but I can't because of this injury. Happily, my new PT is pretty clever at finding ways to exercise thigh muscles without stressing the knees--I admire her ingenuity. So there's a nice bright spot. I didn't expect much from outpatient PT, based on prior experience--but she's good, it seems. Go, Nikita! I'm impressed.
Canceled our Labor Day weekend trip because my knees rebelled so loudly last time I tried to get away to have fun. But I'll tell you what, my knees are the
only part of me that doesn't think this yearly trip is a good idea. They are the boss and I'm listening to them--but I am so so sick of lying around looking at the ceiling and making only careful/short forays into the world. Bloody sick of it all and sometimes wonder if tkr was a good choice--I dearly miss my healthy working knees of recent years. Baah.
I am wondering whether ice is still the right thing--it doesn't seem to do anything. Nothing does, really. Waaah. Okay, end of rant.
In other news I saw a pain specialist/neurologist on Friday because of my numb heel. It was fascinating to see how they work--like detectives on a case, figuring out what sensations I can and cannot feel, where, etc. Next stop is an MRI of the back of my knee and a test called (I think) an EMG, which involves little needles all over the skin and electric impulses--sounds like torture, but I hope it will help. They seem to think my tibial nerve was damaged during surgery. I'll follow up with further (mis)adventures. Sorry for the descent into the dark tunnels.
