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Hip Infection Infection, dislocation, revisions, & life beyond

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Sally you sound so great! I am so happy to hear that you are busy with life!
 
Thanks everyone....you are of course right. I will have to slow down a bit. I'm feeling it today....not in pain so much but in tiredness.

Good news thought DD2 came home walking from the physionand just needs one crutch for school and support when needed. It's just a sprain of the ligament she I jured last year when it ripped a bit of the bone off. The relief is palpable. Yay!!!! Progress!!!!

In regards to my thread title change....I'd never thought of that. I suppose that title has been with me so long now. I'll think about it....any suggestions?

Talk soon....off to work on my photobook...see I found a new hobby for the incapacitated!!! I actually lie in bed with music on and rest and do it. It's easier in bed because I can spread all my stuff out where as if I'm on the recliner Oscar (the dog) has to sit on me as well....laptop, ice, Oscar, phone, glasses, ipad.....not much room for me!!!!
 
Hi Sally,

Checking in on you and so glad to read you are doing so well!!! I am so happy for you.
Please slow it down a little, life is not going anywhere and you'll be up to full speed faster than you realize.
Hugs,
Lisa
 
Great update Sally!
Glad things are going well for you now. You deserve it!
I think you should change your thread title, too..... something positive for you now!
 
Hey Sally, just catching up after some time off from the board and am SO glad to see that you are HOME and doing so well!! Sending huge hugs (((Sally))) and wishing you nothing but the best as you continue to heal :yes:
 
Sally, the image of you in your recliner made me laugh-- I had the same thing only 2 cats and no iPad! Your photobooks are going to be works of art-- when you're done, or even in progress, your could post some pics in the social room-- there are a couple of art threads there, I think.

New title for thread-- how about something like "Look out life, here I come!"?:yes!::flwrysmile::egypdance:
 
Very very happy to read your update, @Vetgirl Sally! Wow, what a turnaround!
The photo books sounds like a wonderfully fun and engaging creative outlet.
I hope you continue to feel well enough to "overdo" things ... but that you don't of course
overdo things. (I hope that makes sense.) Thank you again for posting so often to let us know
how you are and what your journey has entailed.

Hi to @calikat ... think of you often and wonder how you are doing.
 
Thanks for your support. As my husband said to Bill @fulafoto yesterday it's time for me to get out and live. The texts, emails and TV have been my friends for so long that I get really overwhelmed by everything else as well now.

I digress.....yesterday Bill (Fulafoto) and his beautiful wife made the journey up from Canberra to visit us. He has been stalking me for a while now....:rotfl:(Inside joke) and has been a great source of support during my dark days off the board here. It was lovely to meet them both and put people to the emails and texts and as I climbed into bed to rest when they left they had the HUGE drive back. Thank you for the visit and the super human effort you guys made, especially in the condition you find yourself in Bill.

I must say Bill gets around really well considering his oxy dose is higher than the dose I was given
Post surgery. I don't think he believes that the level of pain he is experiencing now will be a thing of the past, as in, it will be surgery pain that gets better each day...not that awful bone on bone pain that just gets worse each day. He is a pro on the crutches and stairs so imagine him in control of thewheelchair!

Well this weekend was out of control. Netball from 7.30am till 1.30 pm was way too much. We took the wheelchair for me to sit in and I got a few rides. To explain, I'm a very social person and so when I'm out I'm super UP. I love to chat and help and to be positive.....as discussed in great length here no one wants to be around the super down person do they? (Side note....DD1's team clapped when I walked onto the court to ask a question of the manager. Isn't that so sweet. They are 15 and haven't seen me walk (with crutches) this year) By the time the last game was playing I had started to get weepy. I don't think unless you have been through these type of surgeries etc that you realise how draining life is.

By the time I got home I had 8 text messages unanswered and a few other pressures and I just cried. I was so exhausted. I'd definitely overdone it this week. Hubby was on the bed counselling me and I was just crying. The kids joined in. I wanted to go to sleep but my sister was coming over (she's a nurse) to cut a bit of my internal stitching off that had poked through the scar so she arrived to all 4 of us on the bed...me crying.

Then she left and I had to return a call to a friend...yes necessary...kid stuff. Then we were going out and so I got no rest. Why did I go out? I didn't want to ....fell asleep 20 mins before we left but a friend hubby has been enjoying the company of asked us over and I really felt that he needed that social outlet. I knew if I didn't go he would have worried and even cancelled. I wanted to do it for him. I'd been out Friday too. And more text messages kept coming.

Why is it that when I had all the time in the world back in Jan, Feb, March when I was sitting around to ill to get up due to the infection that no one called or came over...and now? I'm sure you guys can relate but after you've been out post surgery you are so tired that to get a cup of tea is effort? Don't tell me it's just me? Let alone to sit on the phone for hours and give more energy to someone else's issues. And this has been my problem ....I obviously give to my friends but this experience has made me realise that when I needed it back...there Was very little support. That has made me reevaluate who I will put energy into I the future. But, I'm getting pressure from several people to chat and give to their issues....and to be honest I can't. I'm focusing on me, hubby and the kids. ( I made school lunches for the first time is months and it felt so good!!!) On getting better and giving back to them. On my projects to get this house back in order. On enjoying my life and my rest time. Sure it may sound selfish...but people I need to look after me. I look back and can see how sick I was. It's time for me to start living life on my terms...not theirs.

But when I get home so exhausted, from watching my kids and people want me to call them because they are having a bad day....I can't. I don't have the strength. It's not that I don't care. I love my family more. The joy on my kids faces because they know throughout this whole ordeal I only missed 2 netball games (I was in hospital) is worth the effort. But at the end of the effort for them....I don't have anything else to give. Does that make sense?

And why should I not go and enjoy a lunch out without having to get home and give more? Don't I deserve some happiness now? I think I do...but it's so hard for me to take it. Is anyone else like me?

My girlfriend saw me at netball and couldn't believe I cried all afternoon afterwards, She said that I seemed really good and obviously put on a good front because she didn't pick up I was so tired. She said you need to let others know that and stop being so tough. And that brings us full circle.....to Wayne and Bills chat yesterday. He said just because someone wants something from me doesn't mean I have to give it. Easier said than done. I hope I don't sound uncaring but I need people to remember (not you guys) that this is my 4th surgery - 3rd major surgery in 8 months as well as being unwell and I can't do it all. 2.5 weeks out....and I'm my worst enemy too.:headbang:

My toxic friend commented to our mutual friend that I've refused to see her. That's not actually true. I've asked for space and to respect my needs. She dropped around unannounced the other day but I suspected it was her and didn't answer the door. She is oblivious to others needs and is apparently more down than the day over 2 years ago that her husband left. I worry about her but I've held her hand every step of the way and she has crossed the line in too many ways and I have nothing to give at present. My other friend thinks I need to tell her that it's time to snap out of it because I may just be the one she listens to? That just added to my stress. I'm so sad for her....I don't want to avoid her but I have nothing to give. I'm worried if I tell her that it's time To snap out of it and we will help her move forward but she has to want to....that it will be the straw that breaks the camels back. I want her to get angry with the cheater and get on with her life. Protect herself, stop telling her kids everything and expecting them to take sides against their dad or to get her through it. She is the parent. I've got a list of 20 things she could do to help herself but you really have to want to help yourself...and I can't in my present space take it all in when I cry for 2 hours after the visit because of exhaustion.

Well, if your still with me....thanks. I'm basically on a low dose on oxy for night and panadol forte...paracetamol and codeine during the day. The pain is more around the incision not the bone unless I walk too far. I've started doing small trips unaided to the toilet and I limp a little but if I squeeze my thigh and butt I walk better. I think those muscles got lazy.:whistle: I tried the walking stick this morning and success. I've lost a little weight from moving I think. My brain is still fried as Bill and his DW will attest to. 2 1/2 weeks out I can see that things were not quite right after the first surgery compared to this one.

Thinking as always about all of you.... Especially those fighting infections @busylizzie @dianehelen and now Bill tells me @Allycat :gaah:And of @shrinkette and @calikat whose surgeries were not perfect either

I hope I still offer you all something worth reading.....and some level of support

You guys held my hand for so long xxxx

Gotta go....tears are coming :bawl:
 
Hey, why don't you vent a little bit... LOL

But seriously, here's my take: You Come First. Period. End of story. And YOU are the only one you have control over -- not inconsiderate, disappointing, needy friends & others. You learned long ago that people do not behave in the ways we expect or need, & they are not subject to change.
 
Oh, Sally, you are wonderful! Took time to catch up on you and my heart just bursts with happiness for you! That little word is so hard but JUST SAY NO. Ha! Maybe I'll learn that myself someday.

Take good care of you and your wonderful hubby and family!
 
So Glad you got to meet Bill @fulafoto , what a lovely opportunity! It is OK to be a bit selfish, rest, and heal.
P.S. it sounds like your needy "friend" should be firmly pointed toward some professional counseling, let them deal with her.
 
@Vetgirl Sally, Someone sent me an article this morning and this very good piece of advice was in it: "If you had a million dollars in cash under your mattress, you would check it regularly and take precautions to insure it is safe. The one possession you have that is more important than money is time. But you don’t do anything to protect it. In fact you willingly give it to thieves. Selfish people, egotistical people, negative people, people who won’t shut up. Treat your time like Fort Knox. Guard it closely and give it only to those who deserve and respect it." Thinking of you!
 
Sally, you sound good!
Glad you and @fulafoto Bill got to meet up ...
Cool!
Keep up your positive vibes go girl!


Sent from my iPad using BoneSmart®
 
Hi Sally...so glad that you are finding everything better this time round.....and it must have been a great meeting with Bill and his wife ! Well I've discovered a new me during this THR process ( and I've been through nothing compared to you)....I'm more self absorbed, more aware of my own needs rather than others and less of a control freak and do you know....I quite like it!!!!
Go with the flow Sally....allow yourself to feel how you do...say NO when you need to protect your time with your family. It's how you need to be at this time, not forever, just for now. Chrissie x


Sent from my iPad using BoneSmart®
 
Hello my friend. Your health and your family are the most important. Sometimes in life you just have to take the time for yourself. It's important for you to lighten your load so you can move along with your recovery.
 
You know what I've found - that those of us who always defer to others, who are always willing to be a listening ear, who are always the "fixers" will be pursued relentlessly by those who do not want to realistically look at their own lives and take responsibility for their own choices. Yes, stuff happens - but stuff happens to everybody . . . yet there are those who will just never look in the mirror. And when you say, "I can't be your sounding board, I can't fix you", they're the first ones to resort to emotional blackmail to see if they can suck you back in. You're doing the right thing, Sally. Eventually people who have nothing to offer will wander away when they can't get you to participate in their latest drama. It's sad, but you're right. You could spend the rest of your life listening and that "friend" will never move on - because she doesn't have to when people enable her not to. And that's exactly what she's looking for! Your health, your family, your life are the things you are responsible for - so you have our permission to focus on those things only :). You've got the recipe for healthy living!!
 
Thanks so much for your support on that post. It's been a big week...a bit emotional too. :bawl:

Part of me feels ready to take on the world, and part of me knows I'm not ready. I'm walking now without aids at home from time to time, a bit limpy but I tighten my quad and buttock muscle and that helps. I went to my daughters school and took just one crutch on Monday and walked a bit of a way. And yesterday my friend took me to lunch and for some grocery shopping but I took 2 crutches for that but often walked with 1.

I am still tired from last week, so am taking it easy. It's so great to do a few loads of washing and I did a little dusting too one day....who thought I'd be happy about doing some housework. :what: My aunt from Melbourne is coming up to visit next week. We are really close...like sisters. She is just 11 yrs older than me and my mum was 15 years older than her. It will be great to see her. She's just been overseas and moving house and so couldn't visit during the spacer. It will give Wayne and the girls a nice break as she is so helpful and it is also school holidays so I'm sure we can all do some stuff with the kids and also my sister and her kids too.

I love school holidays with my kids and since my initial surgery this will be the 4 th set of hols that I haven't been able to drive or was on crutches. Except Christmas but I was so ill then we didn't do anything either. Watch out September holidays....I'll be out and about with them full steam again.

Hope you are all well....I really appreciate your understanding on my last post....I really was so overwhelmed and exhausted and I appreciate your advice and support. I actually wrote my 'toxic' friend an email but unfortunately after 2 replies and many hours drafting and writing it she has totally missed the point and told our other friend that I'm just in a bad space. I'm not. Anyway, I've done my best to explain why I've been avoiding her....and I had to the courage to try and tell her the truth but I've wasted too much energy lately on this and it's time to move on.

Talk soon
 
Man you need to DUMP these people. Why have friends that are draining you? :no-fin: I don't get it. Friends provide SUPPORT when they can, and they know when to call, and when to stay away. Move on. Life is too short!!
 
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