THR Happy again - my crying days are over!

[Nylsor]

Thanks, daykat and Elosarabrab for posting. Until finding this site a couple of days ago I really thought I was sliding into a trough of depression. What a difference a couple of days and a post on this site has made. Thanks to the most useful advice, encouragement and shared experiences, today has been the first day I haven't cried ( sniffing or a good bawl) since leaving hospital eleven weeks ago. This morning I made a list of 'to do' jobs - catching up on correspondence, some sewing, etc. and I've completed them all ! I also showed my husband how to make a chicken casserole although he said he didn't really want to take over my role as head cook. He'd rather be the bottle washer! Thanks again.
Ros

 

[Elosarabrab]

Nylsor, I find writing things down really helped. There is someone on the forum 24/7 so you have someone to talk to if sleep evades you. Talking about the problems and the positives with people who know how significant it is makes it all make sense. The milestones and the pitfalls so many of us have been through that people who haven't will never understand.
We also have a laugh on here. Check out the social posts. Barbara

 

[Nylsor]

Well, what a difference a week makes! Thanks to all the generous folk who have shared their experiences on this site I no longer feel alone, scared and have questions to which I couldn't find answers and no-one to ask. And I haven't cried once in a week - not even a sniff! I feel optimistic and encouraged. What I've learned :

- the 90 degree rule - I didn't know when it was safe to ignore it
- that recovering from a THR is a marathon not a race
- not to be afraid to take pain meds and that if I do I'm not turning into an addict
- to expect to have the odd ache and pain in my new hip and that I don't have to keep standing on one leg (like a stork) to see if its dislocated
- not to feel guilty if I want to have a nap - after all I've got months of not sleeping due to pain to catch up on
- not to be afraid to dress myself completely - what a relief not to have to keep asking,
' Mike, please come and put my pants/ shoes / socks on'
- that if I get a twinge in my non-operated hip it doesn't mean that I need another THR next week
- to read and reflect on all the kind advice that came my way thanks to posting
- that crying is NORMAL - I'm not a freak - and to learn that there are good reasons for it after THR
- that I can wear my high heels and feel 'glammed up' for short periods - a real boost to morale for someone who until my THR only wore 'sensible' shoes when I really had to like when walking through mud and fields or around central London when I wore trainers / sneakers - maybe that's why I developed OA - must try and find a post

Many thanks to you all. All things shall pass Ros

 

[Giraffe44]

Congratulations on your positive thinking. This is such a good way to deal with the roller coaster ride of recovery. Watch out for those high heels though--they can be really tricky.

 

[Nylsor]

Thanks Giraffe44 - and I didn't wear the high heels for very long and I held my husband's arm while I was walking. But it was so good to wear my heels and to feel I had taken another few steps to a 'normal' life. And I love telling folk I'm a 'hippie'. I used to be a real 'hippy' (well -sort of - I wore kaftans and put flowers in my hair- but never smoked happy grass) many moons ago Ros

 

[Vida]

Hi there..it isn't much different in Canada. My GP even knowing my history, just shrugged and prescribed Tylenol arthritis for 2 years. When he finally sent me for an x-ray, I had to ask him about it, then ask for a referral to an OS group at my local hospital. After 6 months and still not getting a call for an initial consult, I got a private consultation and was told I needed a THR. This after being told I was not a good candidate because of metal in my femur since childhood. I went on his list, back in the public system as you can't get hips done privately here in Canada, and after three months, begged for a cancellation. The more I come into contact with the system, the more I realize you have to advocate for yourself and your family members. It is squeaky wheel syndrome!

I am glad you found this forum: imagine the poor folk struggling out there who are not aware that the blues and energy drain are a normal part of recovery. Take care.

 

[Elosarabrab]

Nylsor, I am pleased you are finding the benefits of the forum. I found lots of helpful info on here. Its good to know about the pitfalls too then you realise you are not ready for the loony bin just yet.

 

[Nylsor]

Hi Vida and Elosarabrab. Yes, you do think you are going a bit loony at times. Particularly when you feel your doctors are not believing you when you hobble into their surgeries, wracked with pain and are treated like a hypochondriac. I didn't want to be told I had 'wear and tear' of my knees due to my advanced age of 64 and when I couldn't walk 100 yards and hadn't slept properly for months. There didn't seem to be a Plan B. Still, brighter days now!
And Vida, I and my husband, daughter and SIL will be visiting Vancouver this September. We are coming in on the Rocky Mountaineer then cruising to Alaska. I've ordered wool today to knit scarves and hats! Very exciting after the months of misery !

 

[sharonslp]

Nylsor, we were kindred spirit hippies back in the day. I had long hair and pierced ears and played folk songs on my guitar, so everyone labeled me a hippy. Hah! Woodstock was NOT my scene.

So glad the world looks brighter to you already. I have given up on heels entirely....every time I try to wear even a small heel for dress-up occasions, I regret it very quickly. I still have a fantasy image of myself as tall and slender in sleek leather boots...it's always a shock to encounter my reflection in a store window and realize that I've lost some height and gained some weight, so tall and slender is not how anyone would describe me. My mother was once tall and slender, but by the time she was my age, she was decidedly pear-shaped and not remotely slender. For better and worse, I am my mother's daughter.

Sharon

 

[Nylsor]

Oh Sharon, I really smiled when I read your message. Before I retired, I used to wear heels for 12 hours a day - I'm afraid I couldn't do that anymore even before OA was visited upon me. I'm not slender either - 37 years on insulin tends to make you a bit rounded but I do try. I lost more than a stone in weight from last August to February due to not being able to eat much through pain. I reduced my insulin to an absolute minimum and receded into my world of pain and misery. I've always had a 'thing' about butterflies and now I feel as if I'm coming out of my chrysalis. I'm not crying anymore, a bit sad now and again due to the old life now gone, but now I know the answers to so many things thanks to Bone Smart, gradually looking at life in a different way. Talking of mothers, mine was a great one for old sayings. She used to say:
'Cry because you have no shoes, until you meet the man who has no feet.'
I only remembered that one the other day when I heard some very sad news about the illness of a dear friend.
I wished I'd kept my kaftans - they hid a multitude of sins - but then again I didn't have too many sins to hide back in the day!
Kind regards
Ros

 

[tashia]

I love your list of things that you can do. How are you doing with the icing and taking medicane? Remember to take care.

 

[Jaycey]

Ros, you are sounding so much more positive. Well done! BTW - 64 is not advance age! 64 is the new 44!

 

[Nylsor]

Thanks, tashia and Jacey. Yes, I'm feeling a deal more optimistic than I did when I found the wonderful Bone Smart site. I don't believe that ignorance is bliss - I need to kinow what's happening to my body and get a few answers when things are happening to it that I don't understand. After being insulin dependent for 37 years, I'm really 'tuned in' to my body and I understand everything related to diabetes. Not so with THR. And it seems to me, both with reading posts on this site and from my own experience that we are told very little of what to expect after THR. I had my week 4 check up with my OS - a very experienced and caring OS - and was told that I was progressing very well, that I could sleep on my side but wear the stockings for another two weeks. Didn't need anymore physiotherapy. Discharged. After that, there was no-one to ask questions of unless you have a real emergency like dislocation or infection. And there is certainly a lot to ask at times. Thank goodness for the caring and sharing folk on this site. And yes, Jacey, I would quite agree - I don't consider myself old. That's why I was so fed up when the doctor (who couldn't diagnose osteoarthritis along with his two colleagues) told me my knee pain was due to wear and tear due to my age and to sort of live with it! I love life and am excited to try out new things and to travel. Have just started knitting my husband a new woolly hat and scarf for Alaska and am making my friend a silky kaftan to relax in after her radiotherapy. Yes, there are certainly folk fighting much tougher battles than myself. Tashia, I think you must be thinking of someone else - I've never taken medicane - but I do ice - with a large bag of frozen peas! Ros

 

[ByGosh]

Nylsor I'm just catching up on your story now, and I feel that you have been through an incredibly difficult experience! It's no wonder you became depressed after surgery! You had some post traumatic stress going on there, plus you felt all alone in this bumpy journey.
I am so glad that your spirits have lifted and you are looking towards a brighter and better future. It's wonderful that you've posted your concerns and gotten help and support from all of the lovely, kind people here, who understand what you're been through, and are still going through.
Keep talking to us, we're all here for you and for each other.

 

[ByGosh]

Nylsor.. Here is the link to massage that our administrator, Josephine, posted for Kim22. I'm wondering if it would help relieve some of your buttock tightness and pain? Although maybe before you try it, you should tag one of the admin or moderators to see if they would recommend it. I'm a bit leary of not wanting you to hurt yourself without an ok from one of our experts. But I do wonder if heat and gentle massage may help loosen that tightness you're having.

Also, I know you said you don't take pain pills, but sometimes when our bodies are in a state of pain, they tense up, get stiff and it produces more pain. We also release stress hormones when we hurt, that perpetuates more pain. That's one of the reasons we're told to keep the pain under controll - it helps with the healing. Pain causes more pain, and worry and tension, etc. A viscious cycle. If it is ok medically for you to take a little bit of something, I wonder if you should also try that for a day or two to see if you can sort of break the pain cycle?? Just a thought... Take care, dear and I hope you feel better. We're all in this together.

Acupressure massage.

 

[Nylsor]

Thank you ByGosh for your care and concern. I'll get my (long-suffering) husband to massage the bit that feels like a brick at the moment. And I did take some Ibuprofen today - not strong but I could feel the difference. And I will keep posting - a trouble shared is a trouble halved. The weather here in the UK is awful for May. Very cold, wet and miserable. I need a bit of sun on my back / body. I put on my winter clothes again today,sweater, socks, trousers and when we went to the supermarket I wore a thick coat and a scarf! And I live on the outskirts of London where its supposed to be warmer than the northern parts of the country. Ah well, we might get a bit better weather for the weekend. Like post-THR it can't stay like this forever. Ros

 

[ByGosh]

Nylsor So now you've got the hubby massaging your butt??! I sort of bet he doesn't mind too much, though! He looks very accommodating...
It's probably a good thing that you took something for the pain. My doctor says that Ibuprofen's a great anti-inflammatory, if things are a bit aggravated there. It helps the pain and the inflammation, too.

 

[Vida]

September in Vancouver is usually lovely and sunny, so I don't know how much use you will get from your wooly hats in this town. When I emigrated, donkey's years ago, my family sent us Russian fur hats with ear muffs! We have never needed them. However it might be a bit chilly when you dock in Alaska. I am sure that knitting (which I don't do) is a great way to keep you busy during your recovery. Knitting and crying and wishing and hoping... wasn't that a song? Seriously, you will love Vancouver and although I have never been to Alaska, I hear it is spectacular at any time of year. I'm glad you are getting such a nice reward after all you've been through. I would catch up with you while you are passing through but I will be in Europe for the whole month of September claiming my own reward!

 

[BeckyR]

Vida, that is hilarious! "Knitting and crying and wishing and hoping..." I can hear it now, and I like it even better with the new lyrics.

 

[BeckyR]

Nylsor, ByGosh, Vida, This is the funniest thread I've seen yet, between husbands massaging butts and the new song lyrics. I'm going to have my husband massage my butt after the surgery. He will love it!