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TKR greeneyedtattedgirl's recovery

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@greeneyedtattedgirl Is there any way you can go to what we call an Emergency Department? (I know it is called different things in different places.) There is nothing wrong with needing help for this. I am pretty passionate about this because I have been to heck and back with these issues. Your knee WILL heal. I hear you about getting back to work. That is very stressful! This recovery isn't fast. My oh my I wish it were.
Many thoughts and prayers coming your way,
~hopefaith
o o o (hugs)
 
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I have gone to emergency dept x 3 waited for 4-5 hours while having a total meltdown in waiting room and they did not even look at me. I ended up going home and suffering alone. Although my family love me they do not understand what is happening and they do not understand the severity of fear and terror and total sadness I am feeling. They think I should be able to think positive and all will be ok, or do breathing exercises.

So far today I am winning the battle. My plan is to go upstairs and sleep in my own bed tonight, which should be exciting but I have anxiety that I will become fearful and be stuck upstairs very high set. Hubby has agreed to get me downstairs before he leaves in the morning. Wish me luck! Working very hard to be positive today.

Thank you for supporting me today and since my surgery. I will let you know how I did in the morning. :console2:
 
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@Jozilla Either these avatars are waaaay too small or I really, really need to get my eyes checked. For the longest time I thought your avatar was a picture of the bottom of a steam iron!

[Bonesmart.org] greeneyedtattedgirl's recovery
 
@greeneyedtattedgirl I probably missed posts about your E.R. experience. I am sorry if I did. I cannot believe you were treated in such a manner. I really hope today goes better.
I really get what you mean about people not understanding what you are going through. It will get better. I really know that from my own experience. Was the Wellbutrin working before surgery? That med. can increase anxiety. Check with your doc. about that, but that is a side effect. (don't stop any anti-depression med. without checking with your doc.)

~hopefaith
 
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Special hugs for you!! I do hope you have a better night.

Phil my avatar is really small to me too as I use my iPhone all the time!! Better try and find my other ones!!

Xoxo
 
@greeneyedtattedgirl
I am so glad your mammogram results came back bearing good news! It is hard to wait for such news. You have been on a tough ride, lady! Anesthesia can play with your thinking for weeks, and on top of a very brutal surgery, you have had to deal with a cancer scare and anxiety attacks. Boy, do I understand the crying spells. This is a long process and our present vulnerability can often cloud our vision of the healthier future waiting.
You have been given some great advice, especially from some who
have been through this: Use the hospital ER when needed, call out to family and friends for help, let your doctors know what is and isn't helping. I can't add much, only what helps me when
I feel overwhelmed. I love the Scripture verse that says, "Be still, stop your striving, and know that I am God." Sometimes I imagine myself just curling up like a small child on God's lap and being held. I don't have to worry about things I cannot possibly change.
You are precious. I will be keeping you in prayer and hoping that very soon you will be at peace.
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Sent from my iPhone using BoneSmart Forum caloparker4/21/14
 
Good morning everyone
After my meltdown yesterday in the morning I'm happy to say that I did go on to have a very nice day. We spent the day with our middle daughter and grandson had a lovely dinner that they prepared. My husband and I did a few errands my pain was controlled reasonably well I had mentioned to you all that I was going to attempt to sleep in my own bed which is upstairs and very steep set of stairs. I had no problem actually getting up the stairs but when I was there and able to get into my bed which is much higher than the bed that I have currently been sleeping in, I made it in OK. The moment I put my head to the pillows, which are many as since the surgery. I have no longer been able to sleep with two pillows as I feel I can't breathe. It took me about 15 minutes to settle down, my heart was pounding and I was quite anxious but unsure as to why. I was very tired so it didn't take me long to fall asleep although I woke up short time later with severe pain in the back of my knee. I know we're not supposed to but I have a small throw pillow which I tried to read somewhere between my cat and my leg without aiming it at the back of my knee as I'm told that is not good for straightening your leg an ongoing basis so it's 6:30 a.m.

This morning my husband woke as he does usually on the weekends he usually gets out around 3am Monday through Friday as he must leave for work at 4am needless to say the moment I heard him move I was wide awake and it instantly in panic mode. I was in pain, I needed to pee really bad, which meant I had to get down the stairs fairly quickly with a very very stiff knee currently in a lot of pain. Pretty much cried all the way down the stairs. Made it downstairs safely where my anxiety exploded into a full blown panic attack. At that moment I felt so restricted my knee was really hurting and I felt extremely sick to my stomach.

Lately things have been smelling and tasting strange to me. I can smell a not so nice smell in my home but my husband doesn't smell it. When I drink the water in my water bottle which is cleaned daily I swear I can taste what I smell.

I really look forward to sleeping in my own bed last night and since I had such a good day yesterday and actually had some good positive feelings, I thought it was going to be a good experience which it was for the most part. I believe my panic attack this morning was caused from my lack of mobility when I first woke up suddenly I knew I had to get downstairs quickly to use the washroom. With the help of my husband, I was hoping that this is going to lead to me being able to return to our bed and I fear all it did was remind me how I'm not ready to do that yet. The thought of being trapped or the impression that I feel trapped upstairs, annoys my husband. When he will have already left for work during the week is more than I can bear. I absolutely dread waking up early as it makes my day so long so as usual I came down and I took my medication almost immediately I cried for about 40 minutes.

My anxiety meds feel as if they finally kicked in for the most part. My husband has left for the gym as he usually does on the weekend. I'm sitting here with heat pack on the knee to try to loosen up a bit and an ice pack behind the knee to take away the pain. I do not have an appointment with my GP tomorrow. I'm thinking of calling and begging to see him. I fear at some point he's not going to be able to help me and I fear I'm not going to know how to help myself. Again all the tears flowing as I attempt to write this note.

I have physio Tuesday and Thursday this week and I see my surgeon on Wednesday. I'm not always good at expressing how I feel or what I need from someone. I'm such an emotional person I would really appreciate all of your help in coming up with some questions that I may ask my GP and what I should mention to my surgeon.

I'm going to go and attempt my exercises to get my mind off my panic and anxiety at this moment. Is there anybody in this wonderful group let me live in Canada Nova Scotia Halifax or surrounding area would know where I could find help?

Sent from my SGH-I747M using Tapatalk
 
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Correction. .. that would know where I can find emotional help. Mornings and Mondays are my absolute worse time. Knowing how long the week is hoing to be and knowing I will be alone until my husband comes home. I am so sorry for always sounding so negative im just in so much emotional turmoil I dont know how to cope with it. I dont have family support re this situation as they do not understand the severity. Ok going to attempt exercises and try to look presentable for when my husband returns.

Sent from my SGH-I747M using Tapatalk
 
I would definately call my GP on Monday just for reassurance. For me too mornings were always worse. Then little by little each morning a little less worse. Then one day the morning panic anxiety was gone. Hang in there. There is no quick fix but it will improve. It is just hard to believe that or anything else for that matter when this is happening to you. ((((Hugs))))
 
Please don't take this the wrong way. Use Depends. An adult size diaper. If it is good enough for astronauts, it is good enough for a TKR patient who must navigate harsh steps first thing in the morning just to pee safely. You MAY AS WELL be sent to the moon! I know this is just one of the stressors, but heck, knock them down one by one as you can. Please talk to your GP. And, is there any way you can get a Visiting Angel or some home health care assistance in the early hours? Or even family. They don't need to agree, or even understand. They just need to be there.


Sent from my iPhone using BoneSmart Forum caloparker4/21/14
 
@greeneyedtattedgirl

I do not know Canada. Are there doc.s who prescribe meds.for anxiety and depression? Sometimes GP's don't get it. It is hard for me to believe there are not doc.s for just this. What you're going through, while absolutely miserable, is not uncommon.

One of the side effects of Wellbutrin being anxiety concerns me. Surely a GP will have this information.

Mornings were awful for me. Stairs still are daunting as I have a full flight and have to use them several times per day.

I wish @Jozilla or I knew more about your health care system. It is appalling you can't get help quickly.
~~hopefaith
 
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@greeneyedtattedgirl

I will get back to you today with some questions. Write them down before you go in. It is very understandable that it is hard to express yourself when you are feeling such high anxiety/panic. I will return with some questions I think it is important to ask him/her. The main thing is to have a compassionate person who understands the gravity of what you are going through. I am sure others can add to this too. so sorry for what you are going through it. I know it is awful. I really believe it will get better.

~hopefaith
 
Thank you hopefaith for the great advice. I think I have been reading on this site for about a year. Many many of us are on antidepressants and anxiety meds. I will try and get some advice from @Josephine or @jaimie who may know of how to get help in Canada. Don't do anything that makes you scared or uncomfortable until you get your meds sorted. Don't be afraid to call your GP back for more help. They can try different combinations or doses to help you. I would not hesitate to call on a Sunday if you need to. I know it is difficult to concentrate on anything but maybe some dumb tv shows will help. I started watching hgtv home improvement network and I am addicted now. It is scary not feeling strong enough to help yourself but each minute you do get a little stronger. It is hard to believe but in four months this will be like a bad dream. If you get sleepy from the meds sleep! I always believe your body heals itself while sleeping. Will check back in later. Xoxo.
 
Second on both the potty chair (it has a catch bucket and can also be used over the toilet for height when you can navigate stairs better) and a professional who deals with management of depression and anxiety. I have both. It doesn't seem the Wellbutrin is the right drug for you. It's horrible to feel that way and you must address ASAP. The knee will heal with time. But you need a psychiatrist to help sort out the meds. I have never met one who does anything but manage meds. That is their job and expertise. The counselor your talking with does the sorting out of issues. Please do not put this off. It should be your first priority. I have been there big time and the proper meds will help. God bless you and I'm saying prayers for you.
Christie
 
@greeneyedtattedgirl Yes. A psychiatrist, someone whose sole speciality is dealing with these exact issues. And as the others have said the sooner the better. GP's don't specialize in psych. Issues usually. I go to a therapist as well. She would not tell me to deep breathe for full on panic/anxiety attacks. I see her for talk therapy and I see a specialist for my depression/ anxiety meds. Can you call the on call doc and tell them you are having extreme panic and need treatment? Or can you call your GP for a referral for a psychiatrist? This is serious and needs to be treated as such. I have been there and it is miserable to be in the middle of it. I am so sorry it is soooo hard.
~~hopefaith
 
Good Morning Everyone,
Finally a positive post... I have slept in my own bed upstairs ( the death climb upstairs) first night had some anxiety, second night was better and last night was even better. I was able to get into my GP yesterday late last evening. He was wonderful, he listened to my concerns and acknowledged my panic and anxiety as a real condition and took the time to discuss my feelings and symptoms when I am having them.
He acknowledged how much pressure I have had in my life the past few weeks with having the surgery, becoming sick for 1o days almost right after arriving home not to mention the breast cancer scare. He said he would be surprised if I were not having anxiety.

He feels the Bromazapham spelling? needs to be spaced out evenly which I have figured out myself and have been doing so past 3 days and it has made a huge difference. We have decided to put me back on Naproxen together for a few days along with the dilauded long lasting and after a day or two when I feel the effects of the Naproxen to stop the day dose of the dilauded and continue on the Naproxen... again continue for a few days up to a week and then try removing the second night dose of dilauded and continue with the Naproxen 2x per day. He did not feel the extra strength Tylenol I have been taken for pain for fear of taking anything else is going to be enough to get me through PT. I have not cried in two days and have not been afraid to be alone.

I have PT today and see the OS tomorrow. I am focusing on my exercises and getting stronger, I am also able to mobilize short distances with my cane rather than my walker. Longer distances I still need my walker. I even spent some time in my back yard and planted a pot of tomatoes.

I cannot tell you how amazing I feel as I write this note and share it with you all. There have been times when my own family were not able to be here for me during my attacks as they did not understand them yet you were all here for me giving me love and support and I will remember that always. You are my heros!!!

I do hope I will be posting only positive posts from now on. Please pray for me.
I sincerely love each and everyone of you for your support.

Sheila :snork:
 
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