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greeneyedtattedgirl said:
I want my old life back sooo badly! !!
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Focus and imagine the good things and life that you will have in a few short weeks. It is easy for all of us to focus on the pain and the frustrations. We should try to keep looking to the future that will be here soon!

When you get to pt vent some of this! They will listen and help you through the session. Be honest with them. :)

You've got this!!!!!!
 
Your live will come back even grander than you think. It is truly a manner of patience. While it seems much easier to say than do, relax and let your knee be in charge. It does help. It's like giving yourself permission to rest. It's not your fault you must rest and read. You baby your knee in that you ice it and rest it. It is just like taking care of a newborn. Enjoy yourself!!


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@greeneyedtattedgirl you are fine and exactly what most of us went through. my OS and team were very supportive. I cried like a baby and my PA was crying right along with me.
 
I just cried through whole physio session they were very kind. Barley made it through half my program. One of my hospital roommates was there no cane no walker, you would never know she had her knee done. I am still struggling with walker argh!!! I called my GP crying hysterical he said take another anxiety med. And told me to get a specific bowel med to take daily. GP thinks that bowel episode may have caused the this anxiety attack/crying fit. Been crying for more than 8 hours. Im soooo tired, have migraine coming on top of all this.

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Did you start the new meds?

You cannot compare yourself to anyone but you! Are you doing better than you were yesterday? What is something good that happened today?
 
It will get better! Are you icing your knee a lot? I did it seemed like 20 hours day and night! The pain comes from the swelling I do hope you feel better! (((Hugs)))
 
You have all been so amazing! I took the extra anxiety med my GP told me to. Hubby picked up bowel med I will start it tomorrow. Just took final anxiety med for the day..still feel very vulnerable and on the verge of tears but fighting the urge with all I have in me. I managed to eat a small supper. Praying I can sleep tonight and get my sanity back tomorrow.

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@greeneyedtattedgirl Blessings to you on the news about the breast biopsy!!! I am 4 year survivor and I know what you must have been going thru with the waiting game. Wished there was a quicker way to find out!

When I was in hospital and in rehab they gave me about 3oz warm prune juice and butter for constipation. Works like a charm.

Hang in there girl, it does get better!!!
 
Anxiety/panic are just the worst! hopefaith
Its soooo severe!!! It totally shuts me down turns me into a crying fool that is totally out of control and irrational. I am having break thru episodes. My meds originally made such a difference to where I almost felt human. Suddenly I am becoming afraid of everything. Im soooo overwhelmed with my lack of progress. I am beyond weak. I have been eating a little more but im having dizzy spells.

Knee hurting at night again from laying straight I take extra strength Tylenol but have to resort to a small pillow most nights. I am also waking up abruptly sweating and full of fear and feeling need to immediately get out of bed and get up get dressed and depending on time this can be ridiculous! Tonight I am going to attempt to sleep upstairs in my bed. It's quite the set of stairs. I did go up and down this morning but had anxiety and cried and almost melted down when I came back down.

I felt so deprived from my regular life due to the anxiety and panic hitting me so quickly. I woke this morning in sheer terror when I thought I heard my husband leave for his early gym visit. He had not left, just went out to the garden. I continued to rush and wash, get dressed, do hair with the intent to actually ask hubby to take me with him and leave me in the car so I didn't have to stay in house alone..THIS IS NUTS!!! I THINK I AM GETTING NUTS!!

I see OS next Wednesday. I have so many questions and concerns. I really need to know where I am in this whole process. I need answer/solutions for this debilitating anxiety/panic its truly ruining and running my life. I am speaking to a counsellor through my hubby's insurance many times when in middle of severe attack. They recommend breathing exercises and distraction methods. I really don't find this works for me as when I'm in the middle of one of the these severe attack breathing and trying to distract myself is almost impossible for me to do. I feel so out of control its really consuming my life its very terrifying.

I have not seen a great deal of improvement in my range of motion and I think this is what frightens me. I'm seriously thinking of talking to my surgeon about the MUA to see if this may be an option for me to move forward I have very limited time to be off work 15 weeks max and I'm currently heading into my 7th.

I'm very sorry for my ramble this morning I really do wish that I could post something positive, you have all been so wonderful to me and I've been reading other people's posts and I see that everyone is always saying give it time, things will improve, but I seriously think I'm going to lose my mind before this happens. I'm hoping after speaking to my surgeon if you have some understanding of this and its severity and how it's affecting my life I'm hoping he will have a solution..

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@greeneyedtattedgirl. I feel so bad for you. First of all you are NOT going crazy, but it does feel as though you are when you are in it!!! I have dealt with intense, serious anxiety in my life. It is awful. Deep breathing isn't going to cut it, believe me. What meds are you on? I don't know your country well enough to give advice on how your culture handles this, so I am only coming from the states way (or my states's way and my situation). I go to a doc who prescribes meds. for depression and anxiety. Please find someone who understands this. There is a good chance your OS won't. While mine was an excellent surgeon, I would not ask him a thing about my feelings going through this. Do you have a doc who understands these issues? I went through horrible anxiety several years ago, as you are describing and had to go on some meds. for a brief period to calm things down. I had to go on several. I didn't stay on them, but it was necessary to calm the central nervous system down. Your body and mind are on high alert with adrenaline pumping at a high speed as though a lion is chasing you down continuously. So, no wonder you feel as though you do. Please do not beat yourself up that you are feeling this way. I don't think you can wait until Wednesday. First, and most important right now is to get this anxiety managed and THEN start thinking about your progress and knee. Again, you are not going crazy. I have been where you are and there is help. You need to find the right professionals that GET this. Anxiety is real and needs to be treated just like any other medical issue.
I did get better. I still deal with anxiety, and maybe another post, Ill share more of that, but right now it is about you and getting this calmed down. Certain meds. help for a short time and then just dump you right down to where you were before. I don't want to get into names, but there are good ones and ones that only work for about 2-3 hours.
Please keep in touch,
MaryJean
 
I have been where you are at. I don't think breathing or exercise or any other activity helps when you are in that mindset. At least for me it didn't. They may have to up your meds - please don't feel afraid to ask for something else. The problem is there is no quick fix when you are suffering so. The majority of antidepressants take a few weeks to really start working. The anxiety meds like Valium are. More short term but should help a little. I took Valium for a year until I could get myself "normal" along with Prozac. Now I am only on Prozac. I did have to try different meds with different doses. I also a counselor which for me was a good thing. I have had probably three episodes that lasted a few months each. It is hell and I wasn't recuperating from knee surgery. This surgery makes you totally depend on someone. You are just afraid to be alone which is totally understandable. Don't worry about your rom - just try and deal with your depression and anxiety. You should be very proud you made it thru the hardest surgery ever. Just try and focus on improvement in inches and not miles. It is very very slow but we promise you will get there. Take care!!! Xoxo
 
@greeneyedtattedgirl I do think there are a few meds. that can help you short term. I had to take several until the anti-depression one kicked in as @Jozilla was saying. But please don't suffer through the week end. Part of anxiety attacks is fear of being alone. Oh, how I know this. Please hold on to our hope for you if you aren't feeling it right now. And yes, you have made it through what I and others consider one of the most intense surgeries out there. ( and probably like me and many others not prepared for the intense mind, body and soul response a lot of us go through.)
o o o (many hugs)
hopefaith
 
Thank you @hopefaith @Jozilla I have been taking Welbutrin since prior to surgery since surgery I am taking Bromazepam 3mg x 3 per day. It was like heaven when they kicked in I had 3-4 weeks of feeling like me again. Had a few min here and there but they passed quickly. But this week im having more and more intense attacks.

Called GP from physio last Thurs hysterical he said take extra med. I did it took the edge off and made me tired but I was afraid to sleep for fear I would be awake all night going through it. Last dose of night I stayed awake as long as possible til I fell asleep. I am stable at the moment.

I live in Halifax Nova Scotia Canada.
Thank you again for your genuine concern for me it means so much to me. XOXOXO

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Sorry you are in such a tough space right now. Maybe you could let yourself sleep when the meds make you tired, but set an alarm so that you only sleep for a couple of hours so you aren't awake all night if you nap. It could be that the sleep would help a bit too. :scratch:
 
I was surprised to find that my dr prescribed not only pain killers, but muscle relaxers (both flexeril and Valium) as well. The Valium also helps with anxiety, but I think the combination helps both my knee and my anxiety which in turns helps the healing process. Does distraction help take your mind and body's anxiety reaction off the anxiety at all? Maybe if you give your mind a workout and have the right combination of drugs, it will help? Researching a favorite topic or finding new recipes, perhaps knitting or something else that requires your concentration to be elsewhere?
 
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