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TKR Fire wolf recovery<

@liam2015, thank you, and yes, my drive home from work involved frequent use of an emesis bag. Thankfully I keep some in my vehicle for just such occasions. Last evening was pretty much wasted by hanging out in the loo. I am assuming that it must be some stomach bug, and that by attempting to halt it's eradication from my intestines on Sunday night as a trade off to try to sleep, I may have provided housing for it longer than it wanted to pay rent for. :gaah: So, tried letting nature take it's course yesterday and today, and hoping it responds to eviction notice. :fingersx: Unfortunately, because of Spence's need for resort like living for 11 weeks, I have no time accumulated to call in sick. :bawl: As a consequence, Spence has had no pain meds of any kind (which would just be Tylenol at this point), so maybe he will think twice about trying to return to the resort.:chinstroke:
 
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Marie, so sorry you aren't feeling well. Knees are enough without adding other stuff! That ride didn't sound like fun....I've done a few of those myself. Sleep well, feel better!:friends:
 
Universe officially has kicked my :censored: . Can't sleep, can't get comfortable, have pain from my bum to my knee :sigh:. Really thought this kind of stuff was in my rearview mirror. :sorry: Have to work tomorrow and teach CPR, so not even an *office* day. Beyond mentally drained already. :dead: So much I still have to do *catch up* wise at work, and not enough time or energy in my day. :tiredwheel: Feel like I am not giving Spence what he needs. Have not exercised or stretched all week, and I don't mean like go to a gym workout kind of exercising, just some walking for maybe 30-45 min. :walking: Not in a good head space. Sorry for whining. Have. Nothing. Left. 2 steps forward, 10 steps back. :headbang:
 
oh my goodness Fire wolf...you do enough exercise-wise for your knee by going to work every day. the only thing you need to do when you can and i realize it's difficult after working hard all day, is rest up, eat and shower, ice and elevate. i really feel badly for you having to go to work feeling ill and in pain. do you think you could maybe get a week off work to wind down a bit? you shouldn't have to work under those circumstances. my hubby is the same, was supposed to retire last month when he turned 65 but circumstances at the office prevented that and now he has to stay, since he's the senior partner. he is exhausted. if anything happened to him, they would have to get along without him (don't want to think about that). please, please take care of yourself first.:elevate:
 
@liam2015, I appreciate your concern and kind thoughts. I do not want people to feel bad for me though. Unfortunately I am a natural caretaker, so I feel bad when others feel bad for me, which is why I rarely disclose stuff that isn't happy or helpful. I do eat, shower, ice, elevate and generally speaking just veg out when I get home from work. Honestly, I really don't have the energy or desire to do much else, which is also yucky. Taking time off from work is not an option unfortunately, especially since I don't have a valid medical need for it. Besides that, I am still dealing with the hassle of trying to get my health insurance benefits straightened out, as they were terminated at some point during my leave, unbeknownst to me until I *accidentally* found out. So paid COBRA to bridge the gap for the last 3 weeks of leave, and have been trying to get them reinstated since I returned to work on July 31. I have no significant support system, though I should know better considering my professional field, so sometimes I just get bogged down in the weeds. Cried both to and from work today, not because of pain, just because. I feel as if I have spent the last 6 years either injured, having surgery, rehabbing, and just dealing with pain from either my shoulder or knee almost non stop. Of course, I probably feel that way because that has been my reality! After partial shoulder replacement finally resolved all shoulder issues (4 surgeries in 5 years with that), I was really excited about turning Spence bionic, hoping this would put an end to that pain and string of surgeries (3 surgeries spanning 5 years). I have never been one to let things stop me, but I guess I am running low on fuel and hope. I was hoping that I could move this fall as well, but not sure how Spence will handle the physicality of that. I know that things aren't as bad as they seem, and that thereis. An overabundance of people struggling with much more in terms of pain, health issues, etc., which is another reason I do not like to complain. Post-op blues? Yes, it is a very real thing. World shrinking due to limitations, isolation, cabin fever, *speed bumps*, fatigue and everything else that goes along with recovery process. I am glad that I have found this place, as it does help to share the journey with others who have *been there done/doing that*, though I much prefer offering support to and trying to elevate the spirits of others. I also know that this is supposed to be a positive place for people, so I have tried to keep that at the forefront when I post. Is this post considered appropriate, I'm not sure, and I certainly don't want to lose the only beneficial thing I have to help me get through the trials and tribulations of Spence, so I hesitate to even post this. Guess I will just :fingersx: and hope for the best! Hope my fellow bonesmarties are enjoying sleep filled nights and pain free days!
 
@Fire wolf
IF you go back to about the middle of my thread you will read something very similar. I even wrote what you did: I know this forum likes to keep things positive but at the time I just couldn't.There's a few of such "feeling very miserable" posts all throughout this forum.
Please don't hesitate to write. Or to vent.
Sending you an empathic HUG... and although I blinkety know it won't help you at all right now: BTDT.
:console2:
 
it's good for us to vent, we all do it. you already give a lot of help and support to others here, so go ahead and vent any time. i can understand the hassles involved with health insurance benefits that you have to work out, no getting around that. here is where that word comes in...patience...it will get better...hang in there.:mooncat: don't forget, you're our paramedic on our bike trip and our designated driver lol! feel better.
 
You are a strong woman to have gone through all you have! This is a place of friends, a place to vent and a place to celebrate. Going to work when you are not well is difficult and adding bionic Spence to that.....well it makes me give you all my respect. I know that I thank goodness every day that I am retired because I would be a complete baby if I had to work and deal with this knee. You are allowed to use our shoulders and we wouldn't want it any other way! I hope you feel better soon!
 
@Fire wolf Sending you a virtual hug--it does sound like everything is piling up on you right now. I think it's fine to vent here--we've all done it! I hope your load starts to get lighter. (I interpret the "keep it positive" direction to mean that we should respond kindly to each other and keep the tone supportive.)
 
I felt the same way...just wanting to quit this whole thing - when I was pregnant! I told my OB I was just DONE with the whole thing and he could have that baby back, I had changed my mind! Lol! Needless to say, I had a beautiful baby boy! Likewise, we WILL survive TKR and be stronger women for it! :yahoo:
Hang in there! :console2:
 
You've been so very strong and positive for a long time. Feeling down is bound to hit at some point. This is such a long, grinding, and yes, painful recovery. I've wondered quite often how you are able to "do it all": heal, exercise, work. Especially the work. Your job is physical enough you really don't need to exercise, at least not while healing. It's enough for your knee to do the getting you to and from, plus the training you provide to others. Spence is being a trooper, really. If he's hurting, do what you can to give him TLC. I'm thankful every day I don't have to commute to work.

It's okay to vent, too. No one should feel they have to bottle up their unhappiness, including being unhappy about a major surgery and long recovery. I think just about everyone has a "downer" post where they express frustration at how long this takes. We can be sailing along, doing well and happy about it, and... BAM! A setback. Swelling and pain. And we wonder when will it end? Are we ever going to be over it? That's where I like to read posts by people who are 11 months out and doing great. Or two or more years out and never think twice about their knees. That will be us someday. :yes!:
 
Yes your post is appropriate! If everything was positive it wouldn't be true! There was a time when most of my posts were so negative and I felt like a terribley negative person. That was the reality of where I was. That's why our BS friends are so awesome. We've all been there and are here to pick you up when you are down! If we can't be honest here where everyone understands it would be a sad, sad day! Hugs to you!:friends:
 
Dear, sweet Marie. Don't ever think that you can't vent here. We are all in this together and have been through your same down times. It is, unfortunately, a natural progression of this surgery. And you have had no time to heal and are exhausted. No wonder you are down. Hopefully, you can soon get that rest you so desperately need.

When this site talks about being a positive place, they are talking about us being kind to each other, and not putting another person down because of how they feel. Everyone is free to vent. Shoot, I have been one of the worst venters!
 
@Fire wolf, you've had six years of ortho surgeries and recoveries....count 'em....SIX YEARS!!! That would knock the stuffing out of Hercules! Or Wonder Woman! Unfortunately, like most of us, you're human and subject to all the range of human feelings, emotional and physical.

Of course you're allowed to vent, wail, pout, sulk, cry, scream, and throw things. You're entitled and we are your Smartie friends who are traveling the same dastardly path! Sure, some people have slightly less bumpy paths, and some slightly bumpier, but in general, we've all been in each others shoes. These are not *fun* shoes, ya know?

Just about a week or two ago, I said I wanted just one week with a *normal* knee. Just a week, and then I'd go back into Recovery Mode, lol. Needless to say, I didn't get the week, but the thought was so compelling. Perhaps there's someone I can speak to about this? I'll look into it. I know it would make all the difference.

I really don't know how you are managing working, the stomach bug and dealing with Bionic Spence at teh same time. Granted, I'm a tad older than you and ever so thankful to be retired, but I know I wouldn't handle too much extra stress very well right now. In fact, I actually postponed a bi-annual cancer screening this week because I knew if something was found, I'd flip my tinfoil lid. I've never, ever done that....nevah. But, right now, the knee rules and said "No." I also didn't feel I could wangle myself into the position necessary, so there was that, but still, extra stress is to be avoided at this point.

So, no words of wisdom in particular, but please do take the best possible care of yourself when not in work. Rest. Be self-nurturing and treat yourself as you treat others right now, with lots of TLC! Here's a questionable saying from my long departed mother that might help: "The first hundred years are the hardest!" Indeed. Of course, she would offset this with "Everything looks brighter in the morning." Bingo!

(((BIG HUGS))) :console2:
 
Thank you to all of you amazing women for your kind words, thoughtfulness, concern, empathy, understanding and overall support!!! So glad the week is over!! I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through today on 3 hrs of sleep, but Spence and I managed, although he is not at all happy. So fickle! :oyvey: We schleped to work, rearranged furniture, set up manikins, taught course, cleaned and put away manikins and supplies, moved more furniture (conference room is small, so have to remove tables, rearrange things to have open floor space), gathered stuff I need for Mon since I will not be at my main office, schleped back to car and somehow made it home.:tiredwheel: I can honestly say that everyone's positive responses played a major role in getting through. :yes: I did check in throughout the day when I had the chance (don't judge me, you would sneak a look at the phone while going to the bathroom if that was your only opportunity as well! :snork: ), and definitely felt the support! I was surprised since I left my directional foil antenna at home hooked up to top secret equipment so that it emitted a continuous stream of positive vibes to @mechellec for her MUA today. :eyebrows:
Spence once again surprised me with his antics today. I was attempting to demonstrate a point, and had stood on a chair to do so. When I went to get down, for whatever reason, though my guess would be that fatigue was a definite contributing factor, I stepped down not with Spence. Perhaps he was being stubborn or fell asleep or just wanted to show off, but he didn't move first.:flabber: So yes, that means that he had to bend a fair amount as I stepped down.:thud: As soon as my left foot touched down, I froze for a brief moment as the realization of what just happened swept over me. :what: I expected to hear at least a small yelp, if not the sound of bloody murder screaming aloud, but that ever so brief moment was silent. :scratch: The misstep did not hurt Spence as I thought it should have. :shrug: Don't get me wrong, by this point he was swollen and achy and just feeling not so great overall, but there was no sharp pain. There was no collapse to the floor. It was a reasonably fluid and controlled motion. :chinstroke: We were able to get through the day without being much worse for the wear. :yes!: So after getting home and getting a bite to eat and taking a shower, Spence was treated to a nice 3hr long elevation, ice and veg out session.:ice: Hopefully we will both get a good night's sleep tonight. :fingersx: :zzz:
 
YIKES!!!! I'm sending some extra healing, Pixie Sleeping Dust your way tonight @Fire wolf! You won't hear the rap on the door, 'cuz that might wake you. You'll just feel enveloped in a shiny, soothing, green cocoon. Spence will love it.:SUNsmile:
 
Thanks @Pheebs52! I have slept through many things, fire alarms, bomb threats, the whirring of amusement park rides, etc., so a rap on the door, well, if I may *borrow* a word of yours (well, even if I may not, too late, am anyway! :snork:) - pfft! That's nothing! :) I am sure Spence will love it! He is currently on ice yet again, as I attempt to get back in his good graces.:beg: I just wish that I could get just one night of truly restorative, restful, deep sleep, but alas, I must be stubbornly unique. :gaah:
 
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