TKR Everything Comes to She Who Waits

[Mutley]

Morning Carol,
Sorry to hear that your letter has knocked you for 6 I still maintain FORGET ABOUT IT and just focus on doing your exercises/ hydro pool sessions. At the end of the day you DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THE MUA! It's a loose suggestion by your OS but quite for who's benefit I'm not too sure. That's why I'm saying wait until you get to see him again & now you know you have a few concerns on the MUA front you can ask him more thorough questions & include your doubts & concerns to him. Equally, in another 5 weeks your knee could be feeling totally different, maybe down to the exercising or maybe just down to " time" and therefore there could be no need for an MUA anyway.
My letter that I was copied in on from OS to my Doctor stated that I was experiencing " difficulties while walking & tiredness in the knee" and hoped this would settle over time???? And if it doesn't????
I think what I'm trying to say is I'm 7 months post op & still having " problems" and that I have to give it more time, begrudgingly I might add! I reckon you WILL be able to everything from pot washing to holidaying BUT sometimes it may feel more uncomfortable than other times until the day comes when brain tells knee YOU ARE FIXED!
So, stop thinking about " What if's" and change that thought process to " WHEN"!
You will get there, just like I will eventually, we just don't know when that time will be at the moment.....xx

 

[patient 99]

Hi Jaki, thanks. You really didn't have to come to my rescue again. But you did. Couldn't you have just a little wobble (nothing bad of course). Better still how about a pretend wobble. That way I can return the favour that you wouldn't actually need. But, of course, were you to do that it would be again for my benefit not yours! Its just that it feels a bit like one way traffic - which isn't fair.

I've noticed there is a pattern to my down times. Usually its first thing in the morning. To head it off at the pass I think I must get out of bed straight away and get active.

You will get there, just like I will eventually,

I know we will. And when we do, you and I are going to have one hell of a celebration drink. In the meantime I will print out your message. Stick it some where very visible and think glass half full not half empty. xxC

Changing the subject. Did you come across Josephine's pledge where it plays Bridge over Troubled Waters. There's nothing like music to bring a tear to one's eye. I wonder if as well as the BS library there should be a section on Tips. Things like music that can get you through; how to stop sore heels, caused by having to lie on your back; what the best cream/oil is for getting rid of the scar; noticing mood patterns so you can avoid them etc etc. Probably too much extra work for the Administrators.

 

[turtle68]

Oh dear Carol, they do make it so complicated and mysterious, don't they. Have you tried any kneecations between this new harder therapy. I know it's hard but I would try taking it a little easier on yourself. Believe me I feel your tears and wish I was there to hug you up close. I finished my program last week, thank God, and am starting to see the light of the end of the depresssion tunnel. My mantra for the last couple of days has been, "I am getting better every day in every way." It seems to be helping.

Hugs to you
Dorothy

 

[patient 99]

Hi Dorothy, How does the program work? I'm assuming its techniques to keep yourself on an up? Was there anything that was particularly helpful? On management courses that I used to run I often found that the people attending helped each other. The course and contents were merely a vehicle that enabled them to come together. But the main thing is you are seeing light. Have a listen to Josephine's `pledge to you'. It will bring tears to your eyes in a good way.

I've been talking to Jaki about having another section on BS which is to do with sharing tips. (see message above).

I have just thought of another tip. It could come under the heading of `how to cheer yourself up without having to stand or walk. It may only apply to the UK, but it goes like this: TIP: Drive to your nearest by-hand-only car wash. Don't hand over the keys and return a bit later. Instead stay in the car. Between 1 and 3 fit men will quickly turn up. They will start soaping the car both back and front, stretch across your windscreen to get to the harder to reach places. In doing so their tee shirts will ride up just a bit. Occasionally they make direct eye contact (gulp). It doesn't last long and you have to pay for it (impossible to get it on the NHS). But hey was it ever so! What do you think? useful tip or not? xxC

 

[turtle68]

I searched and can't find Josephine's pledge to you.

 

[bottomshollow]

turtle68, look in the Social Room, the thread is "BoneSmarties---my pledge to you"

 

[turtle68]

Carol, it was group therapy, along with meeting with a therapist and psychiatrist every day. Many of the patients were younger with drug problems. They gave us many tools to work with such as "Cognitive distortions, applying healthy limits and boundaries. Just as you mentioned management type courses, my husband said that;s what it reminded him of. And you are definitely helped by the other people attending. Glad I'm done and will be even gladder when I can get forget about this knee for awhile. It's doing okay but I still take Norco at night because about 6 P>M. the pain starts in with a vengance. Would love to just have a couple of glasses of wine but can't mix wine and drugsl Oh well. Now I'm off to the dr. to have a recheck on sinus infection. Talk later

Hugs,
Dorothy

 

[Josephine]

Oh Carol, Carol, Carol - you are having a real downer, aren't you?

hopefully there will be further improvement in the next 6 weeks.

I can't say if it will be 6 weeks or longer but ultimately there will be improvement.

The tears wont stop, I am frightened of the prospect of MUA

What scares you about the an MUA? It's a relatively simple procedure. It's done under a GA and your knee gets worked a bit to see what it's capable of. You wake up and Bob's your uncle! It might be a bit achy for a day maybe two but that's about it and nothing a couple of paracetamol won't fix.

What if the MUA doesn't help. What if it makes it worse.

If there is improvement to be made, it will make it. By which I mean, I've often witnessed an MUA where the knee functioned perfectly normally because there were no adhesions and all that was blocking the ROM was swelling, stiffness and pain. Some patients were so insistent they couldn't bend their knee, the surgeon even ended up bandaging the foot close to the bum(!) so it was there when they woke up and they could see it for themselves. (I am NOT suggesting this applies to you, I'm just illustrating the point.) I have never known an MUA make things worse - truly I haven't.

What if I can never dance again.

You will!

What if I can never walk without difficulty ever again.

You will!

What if I can never prepare proper meals in my kitchen ever again.

You will!

What if I can never stand at the sink to wash my pots up ever again.

You will!

What if I can never go on holiday ever again

You will!

My knee is now demanding attention. It rules me. I hate it.

Hey now - your knee is not your enemy! Like it or not, you area partnership! So partner it!

[suggestions for tips} how to stop sore heels, caused by having to lie on your back;

Good idea! I'll have to work on that one.

what the best cream/oil is for getting rid of the scar

If this were a logical topic I might consider it but the truth of it is that there are no lotions, potions or creams that will improve or get rid of the scar. Your body does that all by itself and makes a pretty good job of it! Of course, there's no actual harm in massaging your scar with something, could just be Vaseline if you wanted to, it would certainly desensitise it if you needed that, but honestly, all these Vit E creams and so on is just a waste of money in my view.

So end of my mini lecture is that you are still only 4 months out and that is still quite early. I think I've said this before but other members have been in your situation and have ultimately ended up with a good outcome but they had to wait for it. Read these again and take heart ...
Recovering a knee - from one who knows!
It's never too late to get more ROM!
It's worth the wait for ROM

 

[turtle68]

Thank you Bottomshollow. You made my day.

 

[bottomshollow]

 

[Mutley]

I think a very good response from Josephine
Best cream found to date for gorgeous looking heels is Avon's Foot Works Beautiful heel softening cream.
I slap any old cream on my knee/scar however Superdrug sell a product called Restoring Skin Care Oil. It's a fraction of the price of the more well known Bio Oil & when my daughter used to work in Superdrug she had customers come in to purchase the cheaper brand saying they thought it was BETTER than Bio Oil!
Believe me, if you read back through my thread Carol you will see I've had lots of wobbles! 2 days ago I was so fed up I was crying on the sofa ( I think I'd finished the last of the wine too )
This morning I went out to walk the dogs & only managed a ridiculously painful 35 minutes. For whatever reason my whole leg just didn't want to work properly To say I get VERY pee'd off is an understatement. Remember, your FOUR months post op & I'm SEVEN. Then I think of Robynhood who is further along than me & she too is still experiencing problems. Bridge over troubled waters indeed!
So, how are you feeling today? How is your knee responding to your exercising regime?
I was a bit gutted as I thought my family weren't coming back from they're trip until next Thursday & I've just received a text asking me to book flights out of Romania on Tuesday...and I haven't done A THING since they left last Saturday I ALMOST feel a bit guilty at my laziness but then thought no-one notices when I have cleaned the house anyway! Here's to a sunny weekend with a few cold beers in the garden

 

[patient 99]

Hi Jaki This morning I sent you a long message. I've looked at my thread and its not there. It went something like this. You said you thought it was a good response from Josephine. It was certainly positive, and we can't expect more. Platitudes are helpful. But now I am looking for hard information which seems in short supply. Doing a fair bit of googling so that I am better able to ask the right questions and do the right thing. Maybe foolish, but anything is worth a try.

Saw your message to Josephine re your pain. I do so hope something can be done. Its no wonder you cry. You cry darlin. I've got my arms around you. When the tears stop you will feel better. I wont insult your intelligence by saying it will last, but it will be better for a while. Its a release valve. 7 months with no reprieve is a long time.

All we can offer each other is HOPE. But that is not to be underestimated. We are stronger when we stand together than if we were alone. We have a head as well as a knee. We can't do much about the latter, but we can help look after each other's head.

Please let me know how you get on at the doctor's. You are tough, so don't let him fob you off. Know what you want out of the visit before hand. Even write it down so that you don't forget anything. If you want a referral to an OS, don't come away until you have it.

I am sending you the biggest hugs any geordie girl has ever given. Do you feel them? You didn't think I was that strong did you. xxx C

 

[Mutley]

Thank you Carol...

 

[turtle68]

Jaki,

I am so sorry to hear you're going through all that pain with no resolutio to date. Do remember we are here for you. I don't think anyone can understand what going through TKR is like unless they go through the process themselves. I hope someday they find a better way. I just finished reading Sunday paper with all it's hooey words about how they can cure us without surgery. They're on TV all the time. I keep you and Carol in my thoughts every day and I am trying to use my tools, i.e. meditation, rest, music, and affirmations just to get through each day. I hope you get some answers soon.

Hugs, Dorothy

 

[Mutley]

Thank you Dorothy.
I'm sorry but I've been a bit wrapped up in my own misery & didn't answer your question about the house move. Basically, I haven't a clue when we might move. Our buyers are very keen to be in our house by end of August & we're as keen to move by then too. But the people we're buying from retracted an offer they had made on a house & last week were heading down to Devon to view a property they had previously missed out on. We've heard nothing & the Estate Agent said he hadn't been contacted by any agents in Devon to clarify the chain position, so it would seem they HAVEN'T made an offer. I have a feeling that I'll get a call tomorrow to say they have decided NOT TO SELL I hope things are falling into plan with you & your house moving preparations!
Sorry Carol for clogging up your thread

 

[turtle68]

Jaki, sorry all that is going on with tge sale of your house, That along can drive you crazy. We had a bit of touch and go last week but found out our buyers are moving from Calgary, and couldn't really communicate with them. Be glaad when this is all over for all of us, and yes I do believe there are better days aheadd for all of us. Take care.

Hugs, Dorothy

 

[turtle68]

Forgive my typos above, but I'm on I-Pad.

 

[Josephine]

You said you thought it was a good response from Josephine. It was certainly positive, and we can't expect more. Platitudes are helpful. But now I am looking for hard information which seems in short supply.

Carol, you think my reply contained platitudes?
What kind of 'hard information' are you expecting to find?

And I note you carefully avoided answering my question ....

What scares you about an MUA?

 

[patient 99]

it was group therapy, along with meeting with a therapist and psychiatrist every day. .

It sounds useful. Yet the interesting thing is that you are glad that its over. Somebody I know said they thought that I was suffering from depression and that I was in denial. Its hard to say that's not the case. The more you deny it, the more it seems to prove the point. I asked my husband for his view. He said I was unhappy, for sure, but that's a normal response when something unpleasant is going on like TKR recovery (or lack of).

I don't know if this is correct, but I think depression is when you can take no pleasure in anything; when everything seems black and hopeless, when suicide is contemplated. I sometimes feel a bit like that very early in the morning. My foot hits the floor and I think `another day of this'. But by the time I have showered, put some make up on and gone for a walk (even a walk that is uncomfortable), I brighten up.

Its a real shame that you cannot have a couple of glasses of wine because of the drugs. It tends to take the edge off a bit. How is your knee doing now? You said you were still getting pain. What does your OS or doctor have to say? There is only 2 days between us.

I am starting to wonder if I have adhesions (fibrous tissues which stick to the knee and stop movement). You have to be so careful with this self-diagnosis stuff. Its like when you flick through a medical dictionary, you think you have got all sorts of diseases. But I can actually see and feel the tight bands across the top of my knee and down the inside. It is something I will raise when I see the OS on 18 August.

May be next week will be a bit brighter for you, Jaki and me. Lets hope so. xx Carol

 

[patient 99]

Josephine, I am writing to apologise. I wrote in a message something to the effect that `you were positive and that we couldn't expect more'. When I re-read it I thought what I nerve I've got. I have no right to EXPECT ANYTHING. I am truly sorry it came out like that. It wasn't intended. Carol