Don't be like me and wait too long!

[mainegirl1]

Thanks so much @Barbaraj @julesglass @Layla
it is so hard when we want to cry and those who we rely on can't take the pain away and feel so helpless
All I can do is wait and squeeze my dog. He seems to want to cuddle when I need it
Not that others are ungrateful
Thats the way they are.... complicated. Buddy is simple

 

[Cecropia]

@mainegirl1
You are always so supportive and usually upbeat for everyone on here. I would never have guessed you were struggling with other issues other than waiting for your own hip surgery. You deserve some comforting, loving attention too. Wishing better days for you.

 

[Ptarmigan]

“The silence roars”

These words are so true. So very true. And I am surrounded by some of this roar myself. Recently, a friend reminded me that our family genuinely want to support us, but really don’t know how. I come up against my own limitations here, because I haven’t known what to ask for.

I want intangibles most of all: peace, comfort, confidence that all will be well again even while my body is telling me that all is absolutely not well. It’s so much easier to ask for a cup of tea, but what I really want is someone to sit quietly and hold my hand until I feel better. I am just starting to say this out loud. Everyone here is very relieved. It’s been a little better.

Something that I have to remind myself: this pre-op time burdens us with anxiety. Kind posters on my thread tried to put some fears of mine into perspective a couple weeks back - you included @mainegirl1 - and one of the things I realized is that because my pre-op anxiety is already running in background, other worries are much more difficult to manage. You, of course, know your symptoms best, and recurrence must be in the back of your mind, but if these worries were more vivid now, it would be logical, whether your symptoms were clearly indicative or not. I hope you will act quickly to resolve them as soon as you can.

And in the midst of your heartache, your loneliness, your worry, and your pain, I hope you can focus your photographer’s eye on just one natural wonder, and remember that although life is far from perfect, it can nevertheless be astonishingly beautiful.

I send you wishes for deep, restorative sleep.

 

[Layla]

I am working on showing my love better now. I give you a hug, a rub on the back along with a squeeze of your hand.

Aww, that is so very sweet @julesglass

it is so hard when we want to cry and those who we rely on can't take the pain away and feel so helpless
All I can do is wait and squeeze my dog. He seems to want to cuddle when I need it
Not that others are ungrateful
Thats the way they are.... complicated. Buddy is simple

Then cling to Buddy, he doesn't mind, he loves you unconditionally.
@mainegirl1

 

[Barbaraj]

Agree with all of the above, and especially Layla's suggestion of reaching out to some of the women you see during your week for a quick cup of coffee or tea after a class. You always come across in the forum as a strong, active and confident woman and unless you ask for connection, I wonder whether it just doesn't occur to anyone that you might be feeling low, scared and lonely. I think you will be amazed at how kind folks can be if you let them in and talk to them. Doesn't mean you shouldn't stop snuggling Buddy, that is a wonderful thing, too. But being able to talk to another person, and share your fears, and have that person reach out and maybe touch you on the shoulder or arm, that would help, too. Hang in there, @mainegirl1, it's okay to be low in spirits sometimes, but you are going to get through this. As you can see from all the postings above, folks do genuinely care and want to support you. You are truly not alone. Hugs,

 

[mainegirl1]

@Barbaraj I do believe you are right!
BTW i am jealous of your new date!
Wish we could make it a double date!
We are trailer camping and at home I use a pillow between my legs to kind of immobilize the hip and allow mostly pain free tossing and turning
Doesnt work on the camper bed. I screamed something fierce
Threw the knee pillow on the floor and slept well
Go figure! I figure this is all training for recovery!
The BS mantra if something hurts dont do it!
Writing to you today from Lubec ME
I am closer to all the hipsters in the UK than to you I think @Barbaraj !

 

[Ptarmigan]

A new day and a fresh start, I see @mainegirl1 ! And a good night’s sleep. This is good news indeed - my heart really went out to you yesterday and I was hoping something good would come your way!

 

[Barbaraj]

Camping, @mainegirl1?!! You are a brave woman. Even pre-hip nonsense I was never a fan and couldn't see the appeal. Why camp when there are perfectly nice hotels with real beds and decent showers, plus restaurants where one can be served a meal and not have to do dishes? I don't mind hoofing around during the day, but I need my amenities at night! But I know that those who camp cannot understand my point of view either. So, glad to hear that you got a good night's sleep and perhaps are feeling a bit calmer and more upbeat today as you commune with nature! Yup, if you're in Lubec, ME, you are undoubtedly really far from me here in the PNW!

 

[Layla]

Aaaah...with any luck the sound sleep helped refresh your outlook.
I hope the beauty and peace of nature is a balm for your soul.
Sending a hug and wishing you comfort and a peaceful day.
@mainegirl1

 

[Mojo333]

I love camping @mainegirl1
Nothing like good old mother nature to remind you of the beautiful things in life!
I know you are frightened for your health and I am sending all the best mojo your way.

 

[leejaa]

Sending warm thoughts your way. I am sorry you have no one near for comfort. I did not grow up with hand holding or hugs and still at times miss them now. My husband like your is supportive but does not always get the emotional toll and what to say. I know that he cares just as you know your husband cares - I think it is the male thing of I can't fix this so what can I say. The funny part is that he was really good at listening to my mother for the last year+ of her life as she deteriorated. I hope you will be back soon to where you can get an appt with your oncologist and get real info. As scary as it can be, sometimes it is easier to deal with then our imaginations.

Take care, we are all here for you and offer long distance hugs and willing ears.

 

[mainegirl1]

Better day! Campobello Island and Eastport on a glorious day
Hip is excruciating getting up

Give me 60 sec and I will catch up to you
Funny how nature lupines and wildflowers and lobster and shrimp will lift your mood! And a good camera! Ok. a cane too for the trails
And tonight the hip is ok in bed
Im busy scratching. The mosquitoes are horrific!

 

[Barbaraj]

Mosquito bites?!! Yet another reason to avoid camping (as if I needed more)! But the lovely views, delicious dinner and fatigue that may lead to a good night's sleep are what you need, @mainegirl. Hope tomorrow is a good day.

 

[Cecropia]

@mainegirl1 Glad camping is reminding you how beautiful nature can be and boosting your moral. We started in a pop-up many years ago and we've had all kinds of campers. Now we have a class a motor home. We wanted a cottage on a lake, then decided to buy a cottage on wheels, so we could go all over. I don't mind motels in a pinch, but I always wonder who slept there before me???? Doesn't matter how nice the motel is....it bothers me and I toss and turn all night.
We have met so many wonderful people too, because everyone is out and about talking to each other, bonfires, grilling, being lazy. Enjoy your trip and all the wonders of camping.

 

[Ptarmigan]

@mainegirl1 You found some pretty good medicine out there in the great outdoors! Well done. I am so glad to read this. And I owe you a “thank you” for that article about time...it was so helpful to my husband trying to put himself in my shoes. I hope your sweet sojourn lasts a lllooonnnggg time, as it seems to suit you so well.

 

[leejaa]

Glad to hear you are enjoying the wilds if not the mosquitoes. Hope you have another lovely day tomorrow.

 

[Elf1]

@mainegirl1 so sorry you're dealing with other things on top of the hip. Hopefully it isn't as bad as you may be thinking but due to already being stressed you're thinking worst case scenario. Glad to see the great outdoors is having a somewhat calming and healing effect on you. Enjoy the rest of your trip and keep hugging on Buddy, some great medicine there. Sending you thoughts, prayers and giant cyber hugs!

 

[CricketHip]

Hugs to you, @mainegirl1
I love camping also. We hope to return to it when we retire someday. Praying that you receive some calm assurances in regards to your other symptoms. Hang tough!!

 

[Ptarmigan]

@mainegirl1 I had a scare this week, found a 2” lump on my arm. (It was benign and didn’t cause a delay for my THR.) It was a tough five days, until I got that answer. I think you might understand better than most. I am so hoping for you to get good news, too - and soon. Sending you all the positive thoughts...

 

[mainegirl1]

Thank you!
Hubby says he doesnt know what to do or say so he stays quiet
He has always been passive; his whole family always was . Nothing was discussed nor were emotions given Tasks were
He was always raised to help his mother . So without asking or talking he guesses at what he needs to do for me Usually it is something I can do and I react badly
So when its something I need help at he just watches until given "orders"He is mostly deaf even with hearing aids and refuses to learn sign language
His word comprehension is 30 percent
He is mostly task oriented and never learned empathy
I am not good at it either
Borh from strict German families though I was an only.child and my mother died when O was 7 my father drank and hid after I had to do for myself

Now the good side. He can cook. He cant hear me scream now when I move wrong
I cant post much but I think of you all often. we are out of the US with no internet and believe me I am reading all the posts
I also hate typing on an itty bitty screen