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Depression/post-op blues - open for all

@Arlene56 So sorry you are fighting the blues. I think Krista's suggestion about volunteering is a good one. Perhaps figure out what you most want to do and find an organisation that needs that skill.

I volunteered at a nature centre near my home. Within weeks they offered me a part time job. Volunteering gets you out of the house where you meet new friends who share a passion for the activity.
 
Hello @Arlene56 - nice to have you back on BS after a break but so sorry you're feeling down. Depression is something I've lived with for many years and my personal experience is that I am at my worst if I'm not busy, so I can really understand your situation.

My daily job has been wound down considerably. We have a business and I am home-based and my husband insists I should be at least semi-retired now so has wound down and shared out my responsibilities to free up my time. This is a double-edged sword, so I elected to volunteer part-time for a large UK charity to safeguard children from abuse. It involves visiting primary schools to conduct sessions and when I embarked on this I coped just fine. However as the OA started to bite in hard I found it increasingly difficult. I asked if, whilst recovering from my Op, I could help out on the Admin side, which was greeted with enthusiasm (charities always need help!) So I have temporarily switched roles and am now contacting schools to arrange visits, which involves desk work at my telephone and PC. Nothing arduous and I can fit this in in bouts without too much sitting time at a stretch. I'm recovering well from Hip 1 but Hip 2 is becoming a real nuisance :old: so I envisage I'll most probably be doing this for a fair few months yet, which is a real downer as I feel isolated. :cry: I long to get back to visiting the schools and helping the kids, but have to look on this as the best I can do in the meantime.

I was slightly anxious about making the jump to volunteer -
would I be good enough, would I cope? :what::thud::sigh::umm::umm:

But having made the application and being accepted it did give me a big boost. It meant I made new friends and so my circle widened. Receiving a get-well gift and card signed by many of them actually brought on tears! It made me feel vital and valued again.

I agree with @Krista and Jaycey - because even small patches of empty time and/isolation can bring on the blues for me, so I have to push myself to plan and busy myself even with really small goals. It can be little things like determining myself to do some mending , arrange appointments, clear out cupboards, make a phone call, all of which it is so easy to put off when you're feeling low. Another thing that helped was a few years ago I agreed with a small group of friends to start a book club. We all read a book a month, then got together to chat about it over coffee or wine and snacks. We took it in turns to host the get together and choose a book and usually made it non-fiction so there was something to get our teeth into and discuss. I liked the fact that it forced me to read more and get away from the telly - which can be a little passive.

I do hope some of our suggestions may help. We are not alone. Churchill referred to his depression as his Black Dog. Let us know what you come up with that will fit in with your recovery and suit your lifestyle. My husband was impressed when I took the plunge into my part-time volunteering and said he noticed a change in me. Having a new interest and new people around you will go a long way towards helping I'm sure.
Best wishes :friends:
 
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@Miss Muffet
You see so kind with such nice words of encouragement. Thank you so much. When I read your threads I feel like you are sitting right across from me!

Your volunteer work sounds very rewarding and so important. You have a golden heart of caring. :angel: ThTs so nice that they allowed you to do administrative work. Sounds very flexible. Although, I think these organizations just will take whatever time people have to volunteer. You are making a difference in peoples lives.

I enjoy volunteering at Hospice. They try and not allow patients to pass alone. I just love that as I am passionate about that as well. Maybe if I volunteer more they would offer me a job. That would be my dream.

Depression is a Black Dog at times. I have been fighting it for years. But it comes and goes in cycles.

A few things have happened within the past few days. Our church has an outreach for girls and women in Human Trafficking. So just today I signed up to help put small packages together for these girls. This outreach is amazing and eye opening. They meet once a month to try and get in contact with some of these girls thru a website. We call and ask them if they are safe and if they want to get out of the profession. Sometimes they say don't want help but sometimes we are lucky and we get to help someone start a new life. Our church has resources where they have a house for these girls to help them better their lives. So I am going to help again with this.

Last night, I went to a local bike shop as they were hosting a Women's Bike and Sip outing. I can't do the biking yet, but did the sipping. :heehee:I went not knowing anyone to meeting 2 nice women my age and kids in and out of college. So spirits are lifting. I did venture on my bike today and rode for 25 min slowly. It felt so good to get on my bike.

Monday I have to go to my OBGYN as I am
having postmenopausal bleeding again. It comes and goes but this time I have been spotting for a month and I feel like it has gotten worse. I would imagine I will need a hysterectomy. I praying just a partial. So I am kinda apprehensive as I don't want to get an infection on or near my hip. I wonder if that is possible ?? Once I get over that hurdle, I can look for a part time paid job.

That's nice that you have your own business. That must be very rewarding. What kind of business is it~if you don't mine me asking.

Well should stop yaking. Hope you have a restful rest of the wkend. Hope your weather is nice like ours near Chicago. Tomorrow my hubby are going to a Chocolate Fest. Yummy.

Thanks for taking the time to encourage. I just love this forum. No one is ever alone!!

Blessings to you my friend:flwrysmile:
 
@Arlene56 - what a wonderfully encouraging update. You've positively burst into action and I'm sure all of that has make a big difference already. Your church outreach work is so important and it is vital that these girls are helped. The volunteers at the hospice where my dear Dad spent his final days were like angels - true friends who helped us through a time we were not prepared for and I was so grateful to them, so, once again you are involving yourself in an area in which only very special and compassionate people can truly help. And the bike thing sounds great plus you've made 2 new friends already! We own a calibration laboratory (a complex rather technical business calibrating mainly rail gauges ...... I won't go into detail. Far too boring!). IF your gynae problems result in a hysterectomy, then that is a road I've already travelled many years ago (over 20) and can honestly say it was a good decision for me with a great result too. Your Specialist will take into account your recent hip surgery so try to allay any concerns until you've established a diagnosis and prognosis.
Oh, and chocolate is a cure for practically anything - so enjoy!
 
50 yrs old, two weeks in right hip recovery, little depressed. I can't sleep at all and ankle/leg swelling with pain when will it end
 
Welcome to BoneSmart @sticlock!
sticlock said:
I can't sleep at all and ankle/leg swelling with pain when will it end
Click to expand...
Sleep problems post op area very normal. Are you taking your pain meds around the clock as prescribed?

Are you icing and elevating your op leg? Ice is a natural pain killer and it will reduce that swelling that is causing pain.

Can I suggest that you start your own recovery thread in the recovery area so that we can give you more information and help you get this recovery on the right track? If you need help starting a thread just give a shout. Here's a thread on how to do this Starting a new thread and posting.
 
Officially past the 5 month mark! A bit surprised that the deep thigh pain and the nerve pain still zaps me...mostly at the end of the work day. The other bothersome thing has remained the leg length difference. When I get tired I trip and stumble more. Won't be a big deal soon. Haven't completely lost my job but did have the hours cut. I too am worried. Too old to be competitive for a job, too young for Retirement. The surgery and time off seems to have destroyed my career...hindsight wonders if the pain would have been better than all this craziness.
Depression still dragging on but I found a counsellor and at least she is listening to my ranting...of course I guess I am paying her to listen....still it feels good to talk.
When does it get comfortable to lay on the surgical side? Anterior repair so seems like it should be comfortable now. Do not see the surgeon until next year....


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ddj said:
When does it get comfortable to lay on the surgical side?
Click to expand...
This sometimes takes awhile. Soft tissues are still healing. Just keep trying. The length of time will increase gradually.
 
Thanks. This is an experience that definitely makes you learn patience!


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Arlene56 said:
@Miss Muffet
You see so kind with such nice words of encouragement. Thank you so much. When I read your threads I feel like you are sitting right across from me!

Your volunteer work sounds very rewarding and so important. You have a golden heart of caring. :angel: ThTs so nice that they allowed you to do administrative work. Sounds very flexible. Although, I think these organizations just will take whatever time people have to volunteer. You are making a difference in peoples lives.

I enjoy volunteering at Hospice. They try and not allow patients to pass alone. I just love that as I am passionate about that as well. Maybe if I volunteer more they would offer me a job. That would be my dream.

Depression is a Black Dog at times. I have been fighting it for years. But it comes and goes in cycles.

A few things have happened within the past few days. Our church has an outreach for girls and women in Human Trafficking. So just today I signed up to help put small packages together for these girls. This outreach is amazing and eye opening. They meet once a month to try and get in contact with some of these girls thru a website. We call and ask them if they are safe and if they want to get out of the profession. Sometimes they say don't want help but sometimes we are lucky and we get to help someone start a new life. Our church has resources where they have a house for these girls to help them better their lives. So I am going to help again with this.

Last night, I went to a local bike shop as they were hosting a Women's Bike and Sip outing. I can't do the biking yet, but did the sipping. :heehee:I went not knowing anyone to meeting 2 nice women my age and kids in and out of college. So spirits are lifting. I did venture on my bike today and rode for 25 min slowly. It felt so good to get on my bike.

Monday I have to go to my OBGYN as I am
having postmenopausal bleeding again. It comes and goes but this time I have been spotting for a month and I feel like it has gotten worse. I would imagine I will need a hysterectomy. I praying just a partial. So I am kinda apprehensive as I don't want to get an infection on or near my hip. I wonder if that is possible ?? Once I get over that hurdle, I can look for a part time paid job.

That's nice that you have your own business. That must be very rewarding. What kind of business is it~if you don't mine me asking.

Well should stop yaking. Hope you have a restful rest of the wkend. Hope your weather is nice like ours near Chicago. Tomorrow my hubby are going to a Chocolate Fest. Yummy.

Thanks for taking the time to encourage. I just love this forum. No one is ever alone!!

Blessings to you my friend:flwrysmile:
Click to expand...
 
Was just reading your posts. I am sorry for the struggles you have been going through. I am 6 weeks post op from a RTH replacement. First 3 weeks surrounded by family caring for me I was fine emotionally. As I reached the point where I was well enough to go back home where I live alone, except for the weekends when my 91 year old mom lives with me, I started to feel down, weepy and anxious. I spend most weekends (from Thurs. night until Sunday night) alone with my Mom. I have been on a low dose of medication for depression for many years. I increased a bit before surgery to ward off post op depression. But sitting home for so long no longer having my sisters around who initially cared for me just made me sad and lonely. You mentioned how sad you are about missing your daughter. It may sound silly but I am 68 and have two sons. One is 44 and one is 38. My 38 year old son now lives in California. I haven't seen him since last August 2015. Sometimes I miss him so much I cant stand it. I am divorced, have no grand kids coming or going to brighten my weekends. My one sister lives 10 hours away in Va. and I only see her like 3 times a year. MY other sister lives in the same condo complex as i do but when I have Mom it is her opportunity to do other things alone or with her husband. I just went back to work part time this week and have found myself feeling exhausted, foggy and down. I am going to get tested to see if i might be anemic which would account for some of this. Seeing my therapist on Monday, first time since surgery. It sounds like you are doing all the right things, volunteering, biking, eating chocolate! LOL! I wish you all the best with what you are going through and just wanted you to know that there are many of us struggling with post op depression along with all our other life issues. Always feels good to talk and know you are not alone.
 
@jogino
Thank you for your response. It is hard going thru this surgery both physically and mentally. I have learned so much from Bonesmart forum
along with endless encouragement.
That's very admirable of you to take care of your Mother. Is she in good health? It sounds like your part time job is helpful in getting you out of the house. How many hours do you work?
It has to be hard not having all of your children close by. Shortly after my husband and I got married, his work transferred us to Dallas. (lived in Indiana all of my life). That was very hard. Once our son was born, we got transferred to Chicago. It was so nice only being 4 hrs from my parents and family. Our
son is close by so we see him a few times a month. He is probably going to get engaged soon.
Do you like to do any crafting? Maybe that would help you not being so lonely.
I was anemic many years ago. It was draining and all I wanted to do was sleep. So I feel your pain with that.
I hope you have a wonderful rest of the wk. thanks again for responding to my thread
 
Finally at 6 months out I am feeling less discomfort and no longer limping or tripping unless overly tired. Still working on getting control of the depression. Interesting diagnosis from the psychiatrist that my counsellor wanted me to see....in her words "ruling out any medical issues". Blood work indicated "severe" iron depleted anemia...she wondered why I have been able to return to work and school.! I saw the recovery room nurse hang the bag of my "recovered" blood...was not more than 150cc.
Not sure why the THR would effect me this way. But it does supply a reason for the depression and fatigue and difficulty thinking straight.


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ddj said:
Not sure why the THR would effect me this way.
Click to expand...
Many people have anaemia following major surgery. We really can't predict how the body will react to all that trauma. But the good news is you have a diagnosis. Hope you can get this resolved quickly.
 
Jaycey, I'm 8 wks post-op (left) THR and I believe the ice was what made my surgery and recovery so amazing! I kept it iced in the hospital, - even though one nurse fussed at me.. My brother-in-law, Joe, required surgery to repair a severely broken wrist. He is in the military and they are taught any wound or injury should be kept above the heart. So Joe demanded they propped his arm straight up with pillows and the Dr was amazed at how fast he healed. As soon as I could, I laid on the opposite hip to raise the operated hip above my heart. When I got home the ice packs became monotonous so my daughter suggested borrowing her friends ice therapy machine. What a God-send! Its a ice pad fed by a electric system you fill with water and ice. It was great. Then we saw one for sale used we grabbed it as I need another hip and both knees replaced in the near future! At my 4 wk ckup my surgeon said he couldn't believe how great my surgery and recovery had went! And He released me! I think it was the ice. And my hard-headedness!
 
ddj said:
Sometimes the aches and pains can bring a smile instead of a frown...was making biscuits for dinner, my 5 year old grandson was helping. Started getting those sharp stabbing pains in the muscles of my leg. These have just never gone away.


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Click to expand...
 
I, too have sharp pains in my thigh of my operated leg. I am 8 wks (April 25th)post -op left THR. I spent ten yrs before my surgery with little medical intervention because I had no insurance. My Physical Therapist explained that's why I am struggling to walk correctly because my muscles are so weak. Especially my other thigh muscles/glutes. She massaged my inner muscle of my thigh and I almost went through the roof it hurt so badly. My back muscles are sore also. She explained that because my glutes are so weak my thigh and back muscles try to help out but are not designed to.. That when I strengthened my glutes the pain in those areas would stop. I hope this helps you..
 
I am 5 weeks out of THR surgery (left leg) and I am feeling quite depressed and frustrated. Should I still be using a walker at this point? I walk outside for 20 minutes without a cane to try an wean myself off of the walker, and I come home in so much pain. I am taking my meds faithfully. One full year of chronic pain before the operation and now I have severe lower back pain and pain on my right arm and hip and leg. I just want to scream.....
 
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