Depression/post-op blues - open for all

[Miss Muffet]

@mindy22 - just checking in to say and sorry you're feeling so down. There's no shame in being blue - everyone feels it. I feel down most days preOp and I'm absolutely certain I will when I'm postOp. I suppose you feel a bit helpless (relying on others most of the time) and frustrated about progress. I'm terribly independent so I know I'll be ratty as hell and won't want visitors unless I'm feeling up to it and not looking or feeling my sparkling best. Don't lose heart - everyone here understands so you can let off steam on BS

 

[mindy22]

Thank you so much for that, Little Miss Muffet. Yes the loss of independence is very hard, esp not driving. Even going to the shops involves buying nothing bigger than your pockets. I went to the doctor yesterday and tried to tell him how I felt, but he thinks it will pass. I hope so. You know it's grand when you are been a "good Patient" but if you get angry and lash out( verbally) you are the worst in the world. I know I shouldn't and it was only once but now ....

 

[Jaycey]

Yes the loss of independence is very hard, esp not driving. Even going to the shops involves buying nothing bigger than your pockets.

I know this is very difficult to deal with but just keep reminding yourself it is only a temporary situation. A few weeks for a lifetime of activity.

 

[mindy22]

I I know Jaycey, and I did get my life back for about a year the last time, but this time I also have to have a knee replacement. It was a debate which should the surgeon do first! Oh and then my shoulder at some stage, I'm falling apart, rotten genetics.

 

[Jaycey]

I'm falling apart, rotten genetics.

I hear you @mindy22 . On top of inheriting bad hips I also have major spinal issues. I try not to dwell on what might happen. Just keep moving while I can and take each day as it comes.

You are still very early out from your LTHR. Focus on the healing from that and try not to worry what might come next.

 

[mindy22]

Thanks Jaycey. I am feeling brighter today. Less nauseated and less sore so got a bit more sleep. What threw me was I didn't feel like this the last time, and in some ways last was harder as one of my daughters was going through a very bad time and we were really worried about her and then a close relative died while I was in hospital and I was next of kin in this country. This time I knew what to expect( except for my knee being black and blue and still really swollen, what did they do?......! Yes I'm concentrating on the physio and will go back to the gym at 6 weeks.

 

[Jaycey]

What threw me was I didn't feel like this the last time

As we always say here on BoneSmart - literally every THR is different - even on the same person.

except for my knee being black and blue and still really swollen, what did they do?

My knee was horridly bruised and very painful post RTHR. They do a bit of tugging when dislocating your hip. Ice that knee - icing worked wonders for me.

 

[mindy22]

My lazy version is freeze spray, saves you having to get out of bed!. Gone through one already!!

 

[ddj]

Back to work now for the second week. I had hoped that the emotional rollercoaster would stop. Sort of seems worse...one of the people I work with gave me a phone number to "get some help" with the crazy ups and downs. I finally tried to call...and the voice mail box was full !! Guess there are lots of people needing help. Still surprised at how much my leg hurts. Right in the middle of the thigh. Keeps reminding me there is a chunk of metal in my leg. Ice and Advil are still needed


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[mindy22]

i know the feeling, I have the same . And you know its the same in this country, ( for emotional help)They spend a lot of money advertising that "its good to talk" " take care of your mental health" and when people go for help it's just not there. Good luck back at work.

 

[ddj]

Thought I might try to get back into TaeKwonDo this week...just a little punching bag- kicking, for about 10 minutes. Not ready for a full workout class. Felt strange to be able to balance on the "bad" ...now fixed...leg. Did not try kicking hard with it, but am happy to report that I am not any more painful! But my other leg had a good time kicking the bag around. Anyone else have experience returning to a martial art?
I am a 4th degree black belt but had to stop about three years ago because of the bad hip. I' m thinking a good hard work out might also fix my emotional rollercoaster! Coming up on three months post surgery so my good workout is likely to be fairly short. Still not much endurance


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[mindy22]

That's a good point, about a work out helping the emotional rollercoaster. I'm just coming up to 6 weeks and have been given permission to drive but am very apprehensive as my concentration is shot. Getting back to the gym might help, i am doing some resistance band upper body after my physio, but a gentle work out,out of the house would hopefully help. Beats crying over Jeremy Kyle!!!

 

[ddj]

I did finally have an appointment with the counselor, first time in my entire life sitting in front of a stranger talking about ....was not surprised that she acknowledged the emotional impact of dealing with long term chronic pain, having surgery and still having pain. Last 24-48 hours has been really difficult to walk especially when I first stand up after sitting. It is as if the muscles in the operative leg are cramping up. Is weird because everything hurts except the actual hip area. Feels like nerve and muscle pain. Not bone or joint pain and still less than before the surgery. Guess the "kinks" are still getting worked out of both mind and body!


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[Jetmints]

Hi my name is Jet, I had a LTHR ON 24/3/16 and I'm not feeling great emotionally! I'm 5amd a half weeks post op and I'm Hoping being able to get back into driving at the end of this week coming up. I am very nervous about how I'm feeling because I suffer from Clinical Depression, I have done for years! I didn't realise an operation could trigger another episode!
I totally understand every message on this thread and I'm surprised that if the doctors know anyone can suffer from reactive depression post op that there is no warning or mention of it! Maybe I am lucky in a way because I know what Depression is and my signs to look out for. What is concerning me though is that I have signs of slipping even though I am already on anti-depressants??! Jo or any moderators out there is this normal even though already on medication?? Jet x

 

[Jaycey]

Sorry you are feeling down @Jetmints ! Post-op depression is very real and I agree - it can come on without warning.

What is concerning me though is that I have signs of slipping even though I am already on anti-depressants??!

You may want to discuss this with your GP. Your body has been through major trauma. Doses of existing medication may need to be tweaked a bit temporarily. Here's a thread from or Library on this: Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it .

 

[luvinlex]

@luvinlex, your hair.....I looked at that and it made me pause. THAT is my hair! After all of the problems I have had, now my hair is falling out. Big time falling out. I am afraid to wash my hair now. Will all of this ever end? I asked my GP about it and she said it was from the surgery - not the FIVE weeks of diarrhea I have had from the diverticulitis attack I had a month after surgery. If you were over on the knee boards, you would know about the "Poop Fairy" and her reluctance to visit after surgery while we are on opiods. Trying to heal and everything else that happens just seems to take too much from you. I am so tired of it all. The problem? There is nothing to do but keep moving forward and hope for the best. You are in my prayers.

@Josephine, I did not know there were nurses assigned to be hand holders. When the doctor was doing my spinal, two very kind and caring nurses came in to hold my hands and stroke my arms. It was calming and reassuring to have someone there through the ordeal. I am sure the man with the dissecting aortic aneurysm thought you were an angel and was very thankful you were there. What a comfort you had to have been.

I kept washing it, but as seldom as possible. But realized the hair was going to fall out anyway so just get it over with. I seem to only lose a normal amount now. Re "Poop Fairy" - I SWEAR by Milk of Magnesia...and you will poop for sure the next day. If you've become backed up, this will reside above the blockage. I had a blockage so bad, when I thought I wasn't going to be constipated...that I was in such pain, there was blood, and you just sit, push, sit, and it goes on, bit by bit. Sometimes it takes 2 days. Finally... after small achievements - this *thing* that looked like a baseball and felt like I had given birth came painfully out. I let out my breath... Phew. Now that's over, I will take my M o M every day, I swear. I was so shocked, I even took a photo of it, no kidding. ( as if anyone will ask, "have any photos of your poop?" Next, I knew for a fact it would never flush. Got plastic bags on my hands, and another 2, grabbed this hard thing, put it in a bag, then another bag and flushed. It was one of the top most unpleasant experiences I've ever had and might be why I've never had kids. ;-) Re: the hair. I asked the surgeon, he said "uhhh, dunno" so did his "masters degree nurse joint specialist" - they seem to ignore answering you because then, you might blame them. My GP told me it was from "stress and trauma" I remembered. 2 months or so after my mother died, the same thing happened. Lost about the same amount of hair. Grew back as you'd imagine. Short baby hairs sticking out... then they get longer and longer. Cutting my hair to right above my shoulders helped make it look less stringy. There is also a medical name for this... but I can't remember, you could look online, stress related hair loss. I'm a click or two shy of 5 months. I talked to a friend the other day who asked about my hip, he'd had a "resurfacing" done. He said "you won't be back to normal for at least 12months-16months. Nice...

 

[Timetolive]

@luvinlex, I am sorry, but I just laughed out loud at your poop post! I can totally relate. I had diarrhea for FOUR months. Now, I am getting constipated. I take a stool softener when I have trouble. More gentle on my poor abused sigmoid colon. BTW...the gastroenterologist thinks my coming off the morphine too quickly was a major cause of the inflammation of the colon and diverticulitis. Go figure. My hair is still falling out. I cut it shorter and let it go back to its wild and curly self to help hide the thinning. Mind you, I had thick hair to start, so I had plenty to lose. It is just distressing.

We have a new little dog, so I am picking up a LOT of poop with inverted doggy doody bags. I could just see you reaching in that toilet with your bags! Hahahaha! I am glad you got over your problem. Good luck in the future. I am really aware of these things as my brother had Stage 4 Colon Cancer. it doesn't bother me to talk about it and we should all be more comfortable and aware of our digestive system.

 

[luvinlex]

Sorry you are feeling down @Jetmints ! Post-op depression is very real and I agree - it can come on without warning.
You may want to discuss this with your GP. Your body has been through major trauma. Doses of existing medication may need to be tweaked a bit temporarily. Here's a thread from or Library on this: Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it .

I was a mess... and also on antidepressants before and after. I would person and person all day, want to be left alone, kept blanket and pillow on sofa and stayed there where I could watch Netflix. No bushing teeth, bathing, or even changing sheets...no housecleaning so nightgowns and things started to pile up on floors...I felt after 2-3 weeks, when my friends started to become scarce and stop calling for fear you'll ask them to do a chore. I didn't want to call them because I also felt a bit angry at people because they suddenly also didn't return my calls, even though I only wanted to chat. I knew then I couldn't call and say "I'm SO DEPRESSED" and they'd feel obligated to come over.I think they have no idea how brutal and hard this surgery is. Once you can walk, they think you're perfectly fine. So... nobody hovering over me. Alone. Then, dark thoughts start to creep in, your mother's death, your brother who is killing himself w alcohol, losses - friends - lovers - dogs - and you let your mind go to such awful places. My doctor added Buspar and overnight I was so clear headed. My therapist told me I was so much better and to learn how to not focus on the past, but let it go... that's all. Let it go. Whatever combination of meds/talking - it worked and I'm so so grateful. I'd first asked my joint nurse, she said "well, it can be depressing" and that's all. Had to seek a psychiatrist to double check I wasn't going insane. Today, I've finished my PT as soon as Medicare stopped covering sessions. I rolled up rugs, washed hardwood floors, vacuumed, dusted, changed sheets, bathroom, kitchen cabinets and sinks. Bending was causing me lower back pain and finished the next day. A total of 8 loads of laundry up and down steep basement steps. Got a lot done. The trick is to be having "overnight guest" and so ashamed for someone to see your place. Things I could not do. Wash the woodwork along floor - I used to be able to plop down w a bucket of soapy water... a rag and scrub and wipe with dry towel...scoot on a bit more... Well, there is no *plopping* or *scooting* and I was saved by a very short stool I had. 18" off the floor... Sheets were OK but take about 10 trips around the bed. corner, corner, corner, corner, flat sheet, fold and tuck that side, fold and tuck this side. Make sure both sides are even at top. Put on thin blanket and then comforter. 4 pillowcases to put on and try to arrange on bed. It had to take at least an hour... but I did it. Nope, can't plop on bed with knees and shuffle around, but maybe someday. I think I'll look back at this and go HA!!! I made it. Hopefully w message boards, Twitter accounts, Facebook pages, other forums, I can maybe help other people. "You are not alone..."

 

[luvinlex]

@luvinlex, I am sorry, but I just laughed out loud at your poop post! I can totally relate. I had diarrhea for FOUR months. Now, I am getting constipated. I take a stool softener when I have trouble. More gentle on my poor abused sigmoid colon. BTW...the gastroenterologist thinks my coming off the morphine too quickly was a major cause of the inflammation of the colon and diverticulitis. Go figure. My hair is still falling out. I cut it shorter and let it go back to its wild and curly self to help hide the thinning. Mind you, I had thick hair to start, so I had plenty to lose. It is just distressing.

We have a new little dog, so I am picking up a LOT of poop with inverted doggy doody bags. I could just see you reaching in that toilet with your bags! Hahahaha! I am glad you got over your problem. Good luck in the future. I am really aware of these things as my brother had Stage 4 Colon Cancer. it doesn't bother me to talk about it and we should all be more comfortable and aware of our digestive system.

I've got the same little dog poo as well. When I got her and was working all the time, I just could not leave her home all day without a pee. So, trained her on pads as a pup. That was good because it took care of NOT taking her on walks. My story was really funny looking back, but oh...it was something else. I so wish I could post the photo.. I have this perfectly good story w photos, and I can't show anyone. My mom if she was here. She'd be "Ohhh, tell me all about it!" Moms are like that. Then, she'd tell me a story "once, your Dad had ..."NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I do not want to hear about my Dad and his issues. Let that be their secret. I wanted to show it to my GP but thought. "why will she care? she'll think I'm cray cray" So... as long as nobody gets into my phone, I'm safe. ;-) Did I mention that there is a Pinterest page for Hip Replacement SCARS? It has photos of all sorts of scars. Nice looking young girl told surgeon "I won't be able to wear a bikini!!!" So, he made the incision so her bathing suit bikini bottoms would hide it. Heck.. mine looked like Frankenstein, all the way down my leg, up, tucked under a little circle of stomach fat, and off to the left. It's TOO funny, check it out if you have a Pinterest account.. not sure if you have to but you might. Oh, I went to a meeting last week, my hair was wet ( why bother, right?) and the wind was strong. I went in and person #1 said "What on earth did you do to your hair?" other person said "Well, I like it" so.. I didn't notice anything abnormal, so laughed. When I got home, I looked in the mirror. I had to take a photo then. Now I know what all the fuss was about

 

[luvinlex]

@luvinlex and @Timetolive - oh thank goodness someone else understands! The loss of hair. I am an axious soul and the fact that my hair, like yours is getting thinner and thinner and stringy and lank. I, too, have avoided washing it as long as possible and dread seeing how much the comb holds afterwards. all of this adds to the anxiety - it is a vicious circle.

I might have mentioned, this happened to me once after a long period of stress and trauma. Good hairdresser can do wonders, my hair looked great, she just cut layers, and dunno know why, but it looked so good. My loss of hair worried me, but I read up on stress induced hair loss, understood why it happened and was glad it wasn't a hereditary condition, but only temporary. Hair, they say grows like an infant, a lost toenail... takes 9 months for it to totally regenerate and grow completely back in. I don't know because I always lose some hair when I wash it, and if I go say a week, then after I wash it, I'm liable to lose the hair I'd have otherwise lost if I washed each day, just all at once so it looks like more. I saved mine when it started in a ziplock bag. People would look at me and ask "is that a ziplock bag of hair?" I proudly said "yes" "I seem to be losing it" The only thing I can say is to get a good haircut and color, a style above the shoulder so it wll swing and not just lay there. Then, just stop worrying because it won't help, might even make it last longer. If you read about it... there is a predictable timeline it follows. I feel so dumb... I posted a long article about it on Jan 22. Must have been the drugs. https://www.livestrong.com/article/305154-is-hair-thinning-from-stress-permanent/ This article tells you all about it.