TKR Almost 8 months later...the aftermath

[Ellejay]

@Karringtyn, whatever you decide to do, I hope that you know we are all thinking of you, and will be here whenever you need us. Did you ever have an imaginary friend when you were small? I did, he was there when I wanted him to be, but disappeared for days if I didn't need him. That's us, your real, virtual, but definitely not imaginary friends.
By the way, I'm now nine weeks, I thought I was managing my pain meds well, just Paracetamol, but have had to go back to the Tramadol as I am in such pain whenever I move during the night. This is a long term recovery, and you are still very early on.
Lots of hugs xx

 

[suzzee2000]

The video I was referring to, someone put up and was talking about how they wished they hadn't gotten knee replacements....and it was just very negative....the video was about correcting things through exercise and diet.....as if most people just just knee replacement...it was my last resort...I just seem like the only one who is negative, who hurts, and I can't post on here what I am not feeling. I have to be true to me.

I totally agree!!!!!We need to be able to be true to ourselves and to be honest with you....IF I see something or someone is nothing but negative I WILL NOT LOOK AT IT!!! I just can't! I just feel like crying when they start talking this being the wrong choice etc etc etc......I HAVE to believe we are going to make it and I DO NOT waste valuable time reading all that negative stuff! I felt so bad when I read your post about it because you read it!
HANG IN HERE KARRINGTYN!!!!!!

My opinion for what it's worth - this recovery SUCKS - no doubt about it.

AMEN AMEN AMEN it does SUCK!!!!!

And definitely do NOT read the negative stuff for awhile - heck, it's enough to scare anyone!!

AMEN!!!!:iagree:

Heck, I've sat here and just started bawling for no reason at all - and that happens dang near every day still.

THIS IS ME!!!! I don't know why...... I just do the same thing!!!!

've resigned myself to the fact, after feeling very, very depressed, hurt, forlorn, and useless that my negative mindset was only hurting me more. I really had to get a grip on myself mentally and emotionally to try turning my recovery around. I have bad days still, and when I do, I allow myself to cry, be upset, depressed, and second-guess my decision to have the surgery at all.

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

Big bro to the rescue ! We are here to help each other. Dont ever forget this ! Im so sorry you feel this bad. Pain is the worst , in fact I am back on Tramadol. I thought I could muscle through it . But I couldn't . I pray you get some sunshine over there, its very therapeutic .

Ice that is so true.....THE PAIN.....I have tried and been so hard! I tried to take less because the nurses were encouraging me, and I wanted to BUT I PAID THE PRICE!!!!! So listen to your OS or GP and YOUR BODY.....I don't want to try and make it through, I want to MAKE it through. Here I am only 10 days into my recovery, and I find myself thinking I can do this with 1/2 the doses of pain meds. WRONG WRONG

Like Rick, a man with few words, a little funny and enjoying retirement in Florida with Claudia. Someone I would never have anything in common with other than a tkr but I was invested with him when I needed someone during my dark days .

HOW TRUE IS THIS????? SO TRUE!!! and Dark days they are!Sometimes I would just come into Bonesmart and read and never post....Mostly because I COULDN'T.....but reading others struggles gave me hope to keep going!!!!

We are still struggling now truth be told. We are not the only ones.

:iagree:

and really Karringtyn, where else do we get to apparently take virtual showers with @icep707 ?

@Karringtyn I hope you can understand we are ALL in this together, that you are not the only one suffering!!!!! Lets just pray for each other as we struggle and cry on each others shoulders!!!!

 

[Karringtyn]

I can't cry anymore today.....well at least I didn't think I could. I sat here and bawled. Thanks to each of you.

PT today was hard. REALLY hard. He listened to me and told me more about my gait and that I have a lot of swelling internally.... a lot more than I thought. I learned to use an exercise ball and it helps with elevation....so babes and I went and bought one.

I will write so much more tomorrow and catch up with you guys. I am sorry to worry some of you. I just am REALLY REALLY down about myself.

Tomorrow is therapy and psych appt. I made that before surgery....usually I go every 3 weeks......trust me I will talk about my sadness. PT said that the stupid meds can also make me really moody up down and all around. I really like this PT. I see him next week two days...

Here is a funny pic of me today as I was on exercise ball at pt......pain and toture.............

 

[suzzee2000]

There ya go friend!! DETERMINATION!!!!!! So glad you are doing what you need for you!!!!!

 

[Nana moon 27]

Hi @icep707, what a lovely honest and open post that was. It was so reassuring to read. It's not a failure to have to continue on pain meds. If it gets you through then why not? Yes it's a struggle but do you know what? We are strong, we are fighters and we will beat this. It is only a temporary glitch in our lives. When we fully recover we will so appreciate every thing around us. At the moment I'm going through an envy stage. I watch people around me dashing about like I used to and running upstairs. I watch people run, walk normally, I want to be like that again. I have to be patient. We can do this by supporting one another particularly in our darker moments, which we all have at times. This is a lovely caring and supportive environment and I don't know how I'd have coped without it. I love it!!! Thank you Bone Smart x x x

 

[icep707]

Darn it ! Karringtyn , ive been crying all day . Thanks alot ! I havent cried since my dads funeral over 3 years ago. I dont know what wrong with me . This is weird. Now I feel sorry for myself for crying. Maybe this is therapy .

I so over did it today . I went to see my co workers at Costco after OPT. I spent 4 hours there with no meds. My knee is as big as it was on week 1. It was nice to see co workers and to get hugs from the young chicks . But now I got to elevate and ice all night long. I walked in the house .huffing , puffing and exhausted. GF laughed at me and said I was dumb for going to Costco for 4 hours , like I planned that ! plus I carried in groceries. What a day !

Get some rest !!! BTW , I love the exercise ball , so beneficial.( Lower back) !l! Since I bought mine, my back hasnt flared up at all . A miracle. Do you believe in miracles !!

 

[Karringtyn]

I believe in miracles each and every moment. I see miracles in me. I am still alive....we will share that story another day.

Know what's odd? My knee swelled HUGE BEFORE surgery....for the years leading up to it...my knee was huge....didn't well really till THIS week......I will post a pic of my knee in a sec.....my leg is bruised and my knee now is even bigger...this was taken 2 hours ago....

 

[I'm so ready]

@Karrington, We all heal at different paces. I don't talk much about the hard times. I too have had crying spells and pain. I would be laid up for a couple of days after therapy. Lots of elevating. Ice on one leg no ice on other. Every night I still sleep with both of my legs elevated. Still can't sleep on either side. I am still taking pain med. Tramadol + 1000 mg of acetaminophen 3 times a day and Lyrica for nerve pain. I am glad to not need to be in a wheelchair. We will all get there when the time is right for us. Hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself.

 

[Karringtyn]

It's a new day. I was able to get a lot of sleep last night and that was nice.

My PT did a lot of massaging and stretching of the knee. He says I am funny and that he likes my "tell it like it is" approach. It's just who I am. I am going to just write on here from now on how I feel. I am going to work on not comparing myself with anyone....

PT said that my biggest hurdle is the fact I had such a terrible injury BEFORE surgery....so I am playing catch up for three years of walking bad on it. Learning essentially now how to walk all over again. The right way.

Pain right now is about a 4. Very swollen....but I have ice on it and today is a take it easy day till my counselling appt tonight at 4:15.

Waiting on return call from docs office. I have 9 pills left...not enough to get through the weekend till I see him on Monday morning....They are VERY LAX about returning calls.

I am going mad because I have a pill bottle of tramadol around here somewhere, from when I broke my knee....That was when I fought using ANY pain med. I have found that Ibuprofen is helping me sooo much more than tylenol......and really reducing the swelling.

Any future reference to PT will be "Sal the Sailor".....I will explain more later. I guess I thought all PTs were fit, good looking, and like Fabio....Smoooothhhh. Oh I was wrong lol. But he is good at what he does. My eye candy is my hubs.



@icep707 My Big bro. Thank you for your honest response. I need to hear when others are hurting still. We are only a day apart...Not that I want you struggling...I want to hear if you are.

 

[Pumpkin]

Karrington,
Check out this post from someone a year out, who just updated. It is a great report.
https://bonesmart.org/forum/threads/year-update.23817/

 

[Nana Mo]

So did you ever get your wreath????? I am glad your PT told you that recovery after has a lot to do with where you were before the surgery! My PT had a student with him the other day and I learned a lot by listening to him interact with the student. Whenever he asked me a question he would explain to the student why he asked and what the answers would help him learn. He told him that the amount of time a patient struggled with things like steps and ROM had everything to do with how quickly they would bounce back. He said a person who struggled with steps for 6 months would do steps again so much more quickly than a person who struggle for 3 years would. So when you are tempted to compare yourself to someone just remember that you never really know where they started from. I have been fortunate that I was only really in pain and struggling for about a year before I pushed for the surgery. Everyone kept telling me I was too young and that I should wait. I just said NO. I am 50 and I want to run with my grandsons NOW. I didn't want to be a limping around Nana who always had to sit and watch the fun.....I will sit and watch when I am the Great Grandma! I am glad I pushed for it now and didn't wait. I just didn't know the benefit it would be for recovery. I just got back from therapy and will spend the rest of the morning in bed with ice. The sun is out so I want I DO something. I went to work again yesterday for a bit but I think I might just do something FUN just for me!!!!! Hope you can find some joy in the day today!!!

 

[kneeper]

Your pt sounds good. I think this recovery gets frustrating b/c it takes a long time and signs of progress can be slow to appear. But your knee is a mere baby and like your pt said, you also had a long standing injury before the tkr. We're here for you.

 

[Karringtyn]

Day 37. Ah. I am very sore today and swollen. Been icing and elevating most of the day. I did go to my therapist and psych today. I have so much built up emotions. I have kept so much to myself and it still wll tay there. I keep so much inside and have such a high expectation of myself, I always have. It made me feel good that the two of them were very impressed with how well I am walking and how I am handling the pain. Ha...thank God for the pain meds.

Deep breathes. I am so tired today. I got new flannel sheets for our bed and hubs just put them on. I LOVE the feel of them. Hopefully it's a long nights slumber.

 

[Derby]

Deep breaths....that's all that gets me by sometimes.

 

[braindoc]

@karrintyn. Hey girl. Read thru a lot if these posts. I have not posted nor been on in a while. If it is any consolation to you, it is 12:30 in the morning and I am up because my knee aches so bad!! I know I am better than a couple weeks ago and continue to improve. But, I think the reality is it takes 6-12 months to recover from this procedure. I do a lot of different types of surgeries on people. EVERYONE recovers at different rates, times and degrees. Even matched for the same diagnosis and same surgery. It is just human nature! I put on a good face for my family and my PT. It is part of who I am. Can't let people see I am down or not just kicking butt. However the reality is I still hurt and ache. Sometimes a lot. I know you will do fine. Hang in there girl!
Your bud, Braindoc

 

[yiayia3]

@Karringtyn Hi just to say that I'm thinking of you.I am now 9 weeks still have good and bad days still take meds at night and on bad days wish I never had it done.If truth be told I think most of us feel the same.I think its about going slowly and that's not easy, from one who knows.Hold in there it will get better for all of us xx

 

[Nana moon 27]

Hi @Karringtyn I hope today is a better day for you. I so understand the frustration you go through. I am just over ten weeks now and my progress is slow. However, I think maybe now this PT has given me hope. He was mortified I'd been discharged without 0 straighten. He explained that if my leg remains bent the. I will have other physical problems like my back, neck, hips because effectively it's like having one leg slightly shorter than the other, especially how I was limping. I am being very good and doing the exercises.

@braindoc is so right in what he says in his post about the different recovery rates. So like me now, stop comparing yourself cos I found it just made me feel inadequate and a bit of a fraud. That was not true but it's how I felt at the time. It's not worth feeling like that. We are who we are, we are unique and our recovery is our own x x x x x

Love Nana moon 27 xox

 

[I'm so ready]

@Karringtyn hope you have a good day. There will be up and downs. Go slow . Sometimes we don't see any progress, but others do. My neighbor said; Hay you're looking good when you walk. I walk very slowly making sure I walk the right way. My right leg was bowed a little and I walked on outer side of foot so I always making sure I don't do that. Talking helps you to feel better. I always try not to show it when in pain. One time I hurt so bad and actually yelled. I had so many people come to see what happened, then I was laughing. It felt so good. Don't worry if you can only take small steps, they all add up to bigger ones.

 

[Karringtyn]

Thank you all!! I sit here just amazed by the support.

My doctors office FINALLY called me back after me calling three days in a row. RIDIC. And I told them that.

So my panic is over about feeling like I have to go without pain meds....that caused the WORST anxiety!

My head is pounding today. I stress me out some days. I am letting a friend come over tonight to visit. That is a big thing for me. Not usually just since surgery.

 

[Dord6712]

HI Karringtyn,

Just reading your the last couple of days. I've actually followed your thread since you are close to my age (I'm 46 but have had osteo in both knees for 14 years already) so I have an extra interest in seeing how you're doing. I know the post that got you down and it scared me to death too but then I remind myself that when I finally do decide that the day in and day out grinding and pain is enough and I am ready I will have exhausted all options. I've dealt with this a long time and I can't even describe the mental toll it's taken on me. I've even resorted to anti-depressants. Pain takes it's toll and I admit the only break I get is when I'm asleep but I'm waiting till it's unbearable as I've been advised by numerous surgeons since I'm only 46. I wonder if people aren't rushing into knee replacement because they can no longer do the things they want to do so then they are discouraged by the result. To be able to take a step without grinding pain will be my goal. But....we do know from this forum that it's a long process. You are a positive person, I can tell from your posts. Keep the faith - don't you think in spite of the bear this recover is that you are already better than before you had the surgery? Please don't lose sight of that. Thinking of you!!