TKR Twinkletoes' Recovery

[Jamie]

Sometimes I think the light at the end of tunnel is just another tkr recoverer with a flashlight looking for the exit.

That's pretty good!!!!

 

[Twinkletoes]

vancouverite said:

Sometimes I think the light at the end of tunnel is just another tkr recoverer with a flashlight looking for the exit.

vancouverite ~ That's fantastic!

I love that analogy!

I had often asked WHERE the tunnel was so I could look for the light at the end. One response was that I was IN the tunnel. I have no idea how I got there,

so I'm guessing that when we wake up from the TKR surgery, we are already there in the tunnel! No one mentioned if the tunnel was a long, straight tunnel or if it's more like a maze with twists and turns, or that Roller Coaster Ride that we all talk about.

I suppose that it's a combination of all those.

Oh look! There's a light!!!

 

[Campervan]

I beginning to think the tunnel is circular like the M25 around London - never ending.

 

[Twinkletoes]

Margaret ~ I'm trying to remain calm, but if what you say about the tunnel never ending,

does that mean that we will never fully recover from this????

I thought that when we reach the end of the tunnel, we are truly back to "normal" again.

"Keep calm and carry on"

 

[Twinkletoes]

I’m so upset and frustrated!

My husband went off to the gym and saw my personal trainer there and told him that I’m still moaning and groaning at home.

The trainer said that I NEED to get back to exercising and to let him know when he should come to the house to begin with my regime.

I tried to explain to my husband (the darling

) how Bonesmart feels the opposite. I sited many of the words of advice from Bonesmart to him, but he doesn’t listen! I went on to say that when I try to ‘push through the pain’ all I’m doing is making my knee angrier and more swollen and hurt, and actually setting me back in my healing process. But, when I am nice to my knee, and go to acupuncture, my knee responds with feeling a little looser and has less pain, most of the time. He said that it’s my knee, etc. etc. Of course, he is thinking that I don’t know what I’m talking about and that all these well-meaning Bonesmarties are just placating and telling me what I want to hear but are keeping me from getting ‘healed.’

I know he thinks and agrees with the trainer and the surgeon about pushing through the pain and not sitting around being ‘nice to my knee’

but getting in there and work it!

I don’t know what to do with him or any of the people who are of the mind-set of the Boot Camp, Tough It Up, We’ll Make A Soldier Out Of You, type!

How do I get him to understand, really understand, that the surgeons and others who have not had a TKR, have no idea what they’re talking about??? They have text book expectations and then some feed-back from patients who have zipped right through their recoveries. They also have set goals and if you don't reach those goals by a certain time frame, you will NEVER heal properly or thoroughly.

They don’t talk about the patients who have troubles and set-backs and long recoveries…

HELP!!!

 

[bottomshollow]

Gosh, Twink, short of his needing and having a TKR himself, I don't know how to convince him. And then, with your luck, he'd be one of those who sailed through recovery in 1 month flat!

I guess that you just agree that it IS your knee, so you ARE going to do it your way, and you ARE going to ignore all the naysayers along the rest of the way. And just come here when you need to vent and you need support and encouragement.

 

[speccybecky]

I don't think anyone who hasn't had it can truly understand. I'm beginning to see why my mother takes to her bed if feeling ill as my Dad steps up and helps out (he's 85) , but if she s on her feet he sits back down and leaves her to it as he thinks she's fine! We look good so others think we are recovered! And I dont know about the rest of you but I start to feel like a moaning Minnie!

 

[Limpin'Lizzie]

Twink, I've got the exact same issue with my husband! What is it with them? Too bad your hubby had to run into your PT. I've decided the best thing is for me to just not even talk about my knee anymore. I'm able to pretty much carry on now, except I know it if I overdo things. I still have trouble getting up and down from sitting. But I hear ya...my hubby chooses to believe what my drill sergeant doctor said over what I've read here.

Hang in there...like the others said, we just come here for our daily dose of encouragement and support!

 

[Celle]

Hi Twink,
I do sympathise - my husband always thinks things must be done the way he thinks is best. I used to argue. Now I just smile - and quietly do it my way, anyhow! You know best what is right for your knee, so carry on doing things your way.

 

[karmigirl]

Twink,
Can you get him to read a bit of the threads here. That may help some if he can see that it is not just you and there are many more who feel the same as you.

 

[Jamie]

Twink.....you must realize that you cannot change someone's beliefs when they "know" they are right. Your hubby's only frame of reference is a workout that is for strength or fitness training. I suppose the PT and surgeon have the same mindset and likely have not been through joint replacement surgery.

So I agree that you must make it clear you intend to do things the way that works best for you. Then do it. You don't need their acceptance nor permission to treat your body properly in this recovery. YOU are in charge.

 

[Twinkletoes]

Thank you, everyone!

Without having the elevator fixed yet, climbing the stairs has me feeling like I've been going to PT every day and coming home in pain!

Besides knowing that my hubby has always believed what the 'Drill Sergeant' (thank you Limpin'Lizzie!) Surgeon said about recovery and time tables, etc. etc., I should have been prepared for him to complain to my trainer (not my PT - which I have stopped going to) and come back home and report to me as if I'd pick up the phone and call him to come back at this point in my recovery! I wish I were at the point in my recovery where I felt ready to begin working out with my trainer, but I am definitely not! I know that I did way too much this past weekend, and have been suffering for it.

We went to the Tennis Matches at UCLA

on Saturday, and there is so much construction going on, that there was no parking near by. I had to walk about one mile and had to climb stairs as well. In fact, I came home from there and felt miserable. I haven't been sleeping well because of the added pain. I went for acupuncture

yesterday (Monday) and told him that I needed a double dose because I was so uncomfortable! Sometimes after treatment, I feel worse until things calm down, and oh boy, did I feel horrible all day and through the night. Thankfully, I did feel somewhat better this morning. But, I'm still having to deal with the stairs.

I hope it won't be too much longer, or I'm going to postpone my appointment with the 'Drill Sergeant' Surgeon.

Judy ~ My hubby is in pretty good shape and I'm happy to say that his knees are fine. I wouldn't want him to have to have a TKR!!! I'm a much better Nursey than he is, but I would not want to take care of him for that.

I call him 'Nurse Ratched'!

Nancy ~ I agree...if I LOOK good, then I must be fine! If he asks for something to be served to him and I'm feeling icky, I can't stop myself and I grumble, so he calls me 'Miss Cranky Pants'! Can't win!

Limpin'Lizzie ~ I don't know how it would be possible to NOT talk about my knee...2012 will be known and remembered by me as The Year of the Knee! I would love to not talk about or think about my knee, but I haven't gotten there yet. I do tell him what I've read and learned here at Bonesmart, and he tries to take it in, but I know him. He's the type that if the doctor says to take one teaspoon of medicine, he'll take five teaspoons because he believes that he will get better that much faster! I know that he is intelligent, a professional, but when it comes to this, his mind is set.

Celle ~ There are many instances when I can smile or say, "Yes, dear" and carry on, but this seems to be one of those things that has taken us both by surprise. Neither one of us knew much about TKR surgery or the recovery time. Although, once my surgery date was set, he would come home and tell me that he talked to several guys at the gym who have had it and what they said about their recoveries. Yes, I know best what's good and right for my knee when I'm here, but when I'm hearing things from my hubby or those well-meaning friends and family, I can't help but start to doubt... How can so many of those 'Drill Sergeant' mind-set

people be so wrong???

Karmigirl ~ I've read some of the posts to him and he seems to agree, until he hears the 'Drill Sergeant' Surgeon tell me things in his very authoritative, commanding voice! Then, it's back to Square One!

Jamie ~ You are absolutely right! It is a fact that neither my hubby nor the surgeon has been through a TKR! Although, my trainer played football in college and had had some serious injuries and even surgery, but not a TKR! I know he wants to help me get back in shape again, but he doesn't understand where I am in this recovery thing. I may have to call him and explain...

The elevator guy just called and he is coming out tomorrow (Wednesday) first thing! He said that it won't take long to install the rebuilt motor and check everything and I will be back in business!

 

[kneeper]

Thank you, everyone!

Without having the elevator fixed yet, climbing the stairs has me feeling like I've been going to PT every day and coming home in pain!

Besides knowing that my hubby has always believed what the 'Drill Sergeant' (thank you Limpin'Lizzie!) Surgeon said about recovery and time tables, etc. etc., I should have been prepared for him to complain to my trainer (not my PT - which I have stopped going to) and come back home and report to me as if I'd pick up the phone and call him to come back at this point in my recovery! I wish I were at the point in my recovery where I felt ready to begin working out with my trainer, but I am definitely not! I know that I did way too much this past weekend, and have been suffering for it.

We went to the Tennis Matches at UCLA

on Saturday, and there is so much construction going on, that there was no parking near by. I had to walk about one mile and had to climb stairs as well. In fact, I came home from there and felt miserable.

I'm not surprised--that's a pretty good workout. I hope things settle down for you soon.

 

[Limpin'Lizzie]

Twink, I've really enjoyed reading and following your recovery. I guess b/c my recovery hasn't been a "piece of cake" either. My last visit to my doctor (a week ago) had me mad at him again, b/c he basically told me I was still at 90, same as last time. He said this without measuring. I told him I was noticing improvements with everyday things, so I was pleased. Well, he didn't acknowledge any of that, just kept telling me I need to keep working hard 7 days a week, twice a day.

I'm sorry you're still having issues, but I guess until we hit one year, we can expect it. One of my friends last night asked me why I was icing my knee still. I told her, b/c I had a TKR! She has no idea.....well, nobody else does either, who hasn't had it done. Just doing normal things like grocery shopping, going and doing a few errands has my knee stiff and sore, so I ice.

I hope you'll keep letting us know how you're doing. I'm still posting my concerns and questions on my thread, "so glad I found you guys."

I hope things get better with your knee! I guess it's just going to take us both a while.
Liz

 

[Twinkletoes]

Hi again!

I almost didn't come in today, because I'm more than a little down in the dumps.

I had a very busy weekend and did too much walking on Friday with our eldest son and his girlfriend. Then, on Sunday, we took the the whole family out to breakfast. I had intended to come home after that, but our eldest granddaughter asked if I would take her to get her nails done and then do a little shopping. I couldn't say no, so she came home with us and I took her for a mani/pedi and then to the shop she wanted to go to. We had decided that since her mom would have to come for her, that the whole family may as well come to our house and we'd have a BBQ. I was exhausted, but as they say, "no rest for the weary."

My hubby did the BBQ

and I did the side dishes,

plus of course having to do the dishes with the help of my usual family helpers. By the time they left, I was almost finished cleaning up the kitchen, and dragged myself to bed. Every part of my body was in pain and my knee was screaming!

I had to take two Tylenol Extra Strength, but couldn't fall asleep because of the pain.

Today is my TKR six month anniversary and I'm not a happy camper.

I have to see the surgeon next week and I'm dreading it. He intimidates me and I know that my hubby believes as the surgeon does..."be a little soldier!" "Suck it up and push through the pain." It doesn't matter how much I quote the Bonesmarties, he says, "OK, if you don't want to get better...it's your knee."

When will I finally be able to say that I'm glad I had the TKR??? Will I EVER????? Because I don't feel that way yet!

 

[Jamie]

Poor Twinkletoes.....it's certainly understandable that you would be down in the dumps after all you went through this weekend. But, please try not to let it get to you. It's a temporary discomfort because you did way, way too much! Time to step back, do some serious resting, icing, elevating (you know the drill!) and you'll feel better. Take something for your pain for a couple of days as well. You need a little pampering. If hubby won't cooperate, call a friend or two to come over for coffee and a chat.

 

[Roy Gardiner]

Oh dear. Several ladies on here with husbands requiring education. As a husband myself, may I suggest some educational aids? The first is a swift KITA. Now this therapy is quite difficult for someone with a painful knee to deliver, so one may have to move on to the next stage, a Louisville Slugger. If even that fails, then you have to pose them one question, do I feel lucky? Well do yah, punk?

Notice that Sweet Reason has been omitted from this training schedule, as the gentlemen in question appear to be impervious to that.

I have to see the surgeon next week and I'm dreading it. He intimidates me...

Imagine for a moment him - or any other man - making an Inappropriate Unwanted Suggestion. You know the kind I mean. You would have no trouble in using the word NO now would you? This situation is much the same, you are being invaded and you are 100% (not 99%) entitled to say NO at whatever strength and volume suits you.

" It doesn't matter how much I quote the Bonesmarties, he says, "OK, if you don't want to get better...it's your knee."

Yes, it is isn't it? And can you imagine him taking your orders if the situation were reversed? No, me neither.


I have attempted humour here but the message is serious. You and only you are in charge here, and doctors PTs and husbands need to get the message.

Good luck.

 

[Jamie]

Roy, that post is priceless!!!

 

[Limpin'Lizzie]

Yes, that WAS good, Roy! Twinkletoes, I so understand! I wish you lived closer, so you and I together could set our husbands and doctors straight! I'm dealing with the same kind of doctor. I go see him one last time next week before he retires....yea!!!! But he basically tells me the same thing. He doesn't think I'll get better using Bonesmart ideas. No, it's got to be pain, pain, pain! Something's wrong with that picture! (BTW, I love all your little pictures).

But as the others said, you definitely did too much, and your knee is letting you know it big-time. I've been dealing with that the last 2 weeks, myself. I know the drill, though.....rest, ice, elevate.

Continue to keep us posted. We'll get there one day!

Liz

 

[Jacky48]

Hi Twink, Maybe showing hubby this video would help prove your point. https://video.search.yahoo.com/vide...Knee+Replacement+Surgery+Part+2+-+Update+2011
I know my husband took it seriously! Good luck! Oh and by the way, when my husband gives me unwanted advice I simply look him in the eye and say "Did I ask for your permission!", That usually shuts it down!