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Trying to not chicken out this time, any help?

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Hi, @ BarbaraR She can straighten her leg out with no pain what so ever. There was a tremendous amount of scar tissue that kind of wrapped itself all around her entire knee replacement. My wife called it a monster.
 
Here is one thing that really freaked me out. The orthopedic wing of the hospital was full so Kelly was put into an over flow area. Yesterday when she got to go over to the orthopedic wing there was some man in his late 50's or early 60's who was yelling, moaning not quite screaming but doing it almost once a minute. It was really a kick to my BoneSmart built up confidence. I'm trying as hard as possible to tell myself that he was just a rare poor individual who was just have a bad reaction or something. None the less YIKES!!!! 11 days to go for me.
 
Joeski, you have no idea what was going on with that patient. Make sure that your surgeon knows (as if he doesn't already, hmmmm) how terrified you are of being in pain. The pain can be controlled and your surgeon can make sure you have everything you need so you don't suffer.
 
@BarbaraR I think my main fear with the pain is I don't want to be like that guy. I have also had a strange notion that my new hip should go to someone who needs it more than me. It really is a complex issue that in 15 days, 3 days post op I should have a grip on.
 
Joeski, you won't be like that guy. Your doctor will make sure of that. And as for your second point, I really understand that. You think you're not worthy. I felt that way, too-- not so much about the hip, but about the surgeon. I was so lucky to find my surgeon, and I found him through serendipitous connections. How did I get so lucky? It seems so unfair to the people who have had so much more of a difficult recovery than I have. But here's the thing. You need your hip, and you deserve it. And they're not a finite resource-- someone else who needs a hip will be able to get one. Your getting a new hip won't prevent that.
 
Hi joe

I agree with Barbara. You don't know what was wrong with that man. There was a man who yelled out just about the entire time I was in hospital. It turns out he was intellectually handicapped and couldn't communicate any other way. No-one else did. Even when i couldn't tolerate the morphine and the pain level rose, an alternative was given reasonably quickly.
 
Barbara is right! You have no idea what was going on with that patient.

And nobody deserves this hip more than you, and you're not getting it instead of someone else. This is a replacement, not a transplant.

Please, Joeski, no backsliding now. You've come so far, don't do this to yourself. Just screw your courage to the sticking point (apologies to Shakespeare.)

I do not really mean to make light of this----I, who left a manilla envelope sealed on my desk the morning of surgery, written on it was "for my sister, if I am dead," with instructions about my beloved cats. I didn't really
think I would die, but you know, just in case.

You are going to be fine.
 
sissy46 - we have members from China...

@Joeski, focus on the positive outcomes of your surgery... activities you may not have been able to take part in, no bone-on-bone pain... recovery is your journey.. no one else's... :)
 
BarbaraR said:
Joeski, you have no idea what was going on with that patient. Make sure that your surgeon knows (as if he doesn't already, hmmmm) how terrified you are of being in pain. The pain can be controlled and your surgeon can make sure you have everything you need so you don't suffer.
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Hi BarbaraR, Thank you so much once again for the tips & encouragement.. I never expected to hear what I heard on Thursday evening.
 
BarbaraR said:
Joeski, you won't be like that guy. Your doctor will make sure of that. And as for your second point, I really understand that. You think you're not worthy. I felt that way, too-- not so much about the hip, but about the surgeon. I was so lucky to find my surgeon, and I found him through serendipitous connections. How did I get so lucky? It seems so unfair to the people who have had so much more of a difficult recovery than I have. But here's the thing. You need your hip, and you deserve it. And they're not a finite resource-- someone else who needs a hip will be able to get one. Your getting a new hip won't prevent that.
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BarbaraR your my "make me feel oh so good and snap me back into the right frame of mind mentor". Is the a word for that? I don't know how to properly thank you.
 
octopus said:
Hi joe

I agree with Barbara. You don't know what was wrong with that man. There was a man who yelled out just about the entire time I was in hospital. It turns out he was intellectually handicapped and couldn't communicate any other way. No-one else did. Even when i couldn't tolerate the morphine and the pain level rose, an alternative was given reasonably quickly.
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Hello octopus, Thanks so my for posting, I definitely needed some help and the help is coming in. I'm sorry you had that poor individual there with you. I bet you never thought of that happening. I know I didn't & wouldn't. In an emergency room I could see that happening. Keep getting better and thanks again.
 
sissy46 said:
Please, Joeski, no backsliding now. You've come so far, don't do this to yourself. Just screw your courage to the sticking point
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sissy46, due to you, octopus & BarbaraR I'm back to thinking bring it on because of all your encouraging posts.

sissy46 said:
And nobody deserves this hip more than you, and you're not getting it instead of someone else. This is a replacement, not a transplant.
Click to expand...
Thank you I am really feeling better because of what you wrote.
 
Poppet said:
@Joeski, focus on the positive outcomes of your surgery... activities you may not have been able to take part in, no bone-on-bone pain... recovery is your journey.. no one else's... :)
Click to expand...
Hi Poppet, I just looked at that list of activities & abilities that bottomshollow posted from BoneSmart and there is no way I can not proceed with my operation. I think my grandmother in her early 80's could do more than I can now.
 
Wouldn't it be wonderful to travel that fast! I think night fall is officially about 45mins away, but being overcast today, will get dark sooner. I hope you are able to get some sleep soon. :)
 
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