Elosarabrab, Yes, I've done all the reading. Also, I have my husband, so I won't be going through this alone. We are a total team. Once, when I was sick and had complete laryngitis, he gave me a pot and a spoon so that I could bang it if I needed him. Quite an experience.
One funny bedpan story... My husband was in the hospital after heart surgery, and couldn't get the attention of any of the nurses. He had tried the buzzer, the pager, etc. -- no response -- and he really needed help. There was a bedpan next to his bed, and there was a clear line to the door, so he just threw the bedpan out the door and into the hallway. As you can imagine, it made a humongous clatter, and four people RAN to his room. They were very annoyed, and said, "Why didn't you just buzz for us?" but he had already done so. In any case -- mission accomplished, and the bedpan was good for something.
I remain confident that I will NOT have to use a bedpan. As the old saying goes, there is more than one way to skin a cat (though no cats will be harmed in the service of my determination to remain bedpan-free).