Suffering

[Jamie]

Yes, Cfour.....this would be a fairly common experience. Anytime someone's routine is interrupted, it can cause stress. Add to that some financial issues and other illnesses and/or pain and you have the perfect recipe for conflict.

At this difficult time, it may be helpful if you and hubby can sit and talk about the situation. Sometimes it just helps to acknowledge that it's a difficult time. The key factor is that it should be temporary and you both are taking active steps to make things better. When you consider that against the alternative of "no action," it's pretty easy to see you are doing the right thing. Things would only get worse if you didn't all pitch in to make your surgery a success.

Sylvia is right too about the need for rest during stressful times. When you're tired and in pain, things are greatly amplified. Your body is so busy dealing with fatigue that it can't see things through properly. Make sure hubby is sleeping well too!

 

[Cfourhorses]

Hospital & Recovery Shopping:

I bought underwear, sox, 2 pull over the head nighties, a house coat zip up the front, the plastic sandal shoes called "Crocks"...

I bought some lose fitting T-shirts, a couple tank tops, 2 pairs of "skirt/shorts"....1 pair of lose shorts.

Then I bought a pair of slacks and two tops for court.

So I should be about set:thmb:

I also bought the lady I care for some things for her 4-6 week stay at respite.

Her day program has taken over showering her which is helping me a lot!!

The shopping was arduous. Very painful to try slacks on. I sat in the dressing room while the store attendant and my daughter found some things for me to try.

At the dollar store...they did not have a scooter to ride or a wheel chair so I asked them for a plain old chair and my daughter brought things to me and I used the chair in the check out line as well.

Saw a couple people I know and they were shocked to see me in THIS condition!!

C4

 

[Rohanknitter]

Sounds like you had a successful shopping trip!! I know it must have wiped you out, though. I just dreaded going to the store for anything!!

Regarding your husband, I think it's VERY normal. I'm sure it's hard and maybe even scary for him to see you struggling. My husband is perfectly able-bodied, but he was pretty stressed out about my surgery and recovery. He had tons of help, meals brought, etc, but it still got to him. It was actually better for the second surgery when he wasn't home as much. At one point after the first op, I nearly threw something at him because he told me the whole thing was "harder on him than on me." I'll admit it, I was TICKED. :skp: He kept telling me I was too optimistic and upbeat....that irritated me too. I WAS optimistic - I was on the road to getting rid of my debilitating pain!! We had a couple talks about it where we agreed to work on walking through this together and being supportive and realizing that this is challenging for us both, and that helped a lot. I guess this isn't easy on any of us, is it.

 

[Cfourhorses]

I guess this isn't easy on any of us, is it.

No it is not.
My daughter had a mini-melt down yesterday saying this is her 2nd ruined summer, last year her father, (hubby), this year me. I told her at least I am getting both hips done @ once so next year will be great!:D

C4

 

[Thomasinaa]

Oh C4, I hope your daughter got over her melt down and realized that you didn't ask to have this happen to you, nor did your husband!!!

She's fairly young..???? so her summers are important to her. I hope when she calmed down, all was OK.. you know from experience how hard and exhausting it is to be a caregiver and maybe you can empathize with her and let her know you won't be down for long.. It's hard to keep a strong woman down for any length of time:D

I do hope you can as a family unit all support each other and not let things escalate to the point where things get said that normally wouldn't... that's not a nice place to be.

Your shopping day sounded good and you got everything you needed in one swoop:thmb:

You take care.. big cyber hugs..

 

[Cfourhorses]

Yep....she is in her early 20's.....she has done a lot....she even used to dialyze her brother before he died at home to help out. She is an A student, she works hard. She herself has been hurt in the past in a riding accident & 2 ankle joint surgeries.....I really pray next year will be a vacation from all this health stuff for once! :pray:

She is also upset because she wanted a summer job....but can only find full time positions to apply for and needs to take care of me, the horses & has a demanding on-line course this summer....she would like part time hours...but nothing yet.

The 30 mg's of morphine does help...and the generic Reglan for nausea.

Well...my handicapped lady has 2 classes in a horse show tomorrow...walk/halt classes while my daughter leads her in the arena. I will take pictures...supposed to be near 90 degrees tomorrow:shk:

Have a good Sunday Thomassina!! Thank you for all your support & everyone on here ...it is a great place to make friends!:dogkiss: My friends live inside my computer

Figured out last night:
1998 my mother/ her grandma died
Our 1999 summer lived in a hotel, tree fell on house in storm.
2001...hubby broke & recuperated from his broken neck, (surgery c-2 &c 3)
2003 daughter's riding accident & surgery
2005 another surgery from the riding accident
2006 hubby in hospital for a pulmonary embolism & recovery
2007 son/her brother died from a surgery "nick to the intestine" 3+ month ordeal
2009 hubby bed ridden from chemo (interferon) & struck w/ nueuropathy of both hands and one leg knee down.
2010 ME:D

Guess I can understand her frustration!


C4

 

[Thomasinaa]

Thank you for all your support & everyone on here ...it is a great place to make friends![/B]:dogkiss: My friends live inside my computer

C4

Cfourhorses, oh how I agree, I have found so many kindred spirits on this site.

Your family has been through so much and I hope and pray that when your hips are fixed, that your family can regain a lifestyle that isn't so wrought with illness and stress:pray:

 

[Josephine]

Goodness gracious, C4. That's some history to have lived through.

 

[Rohanknitter]

:agree: :gphg:

 

[Cfourhorses]

Can someone please explain why I need someone next to me 24/7 after discharge?:pzld:

C4

 

[Jamie]

The first day or so you are a little rocky on your feet. It is always better to have someone available in case you need something (they could save you having to get up) and they can make sure you don't fall. I don't think anyone said it was mandatory, just a good thing to do.

 

[Josephine]

Who said you did?

 

[MCB]

C4 wish there was some way to make you smile -- and relieve your pain. bless you.

MCB:D

 

[Cfourhorses]

C4 wish there was some way to make you smile -- and relieve your pain. bless you.

MCB:D

Thanks.:catkiss:

C4

 

[Cfourhorses]

It is back. All the pain is back now even on the morphine! What is going on? I hate this!!!

C4

 

[Jaycey]

Oh Cfour I am so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately what is happening is the reason we have all kept after you to stick with your op date and go for it. Things just don't get better and very often the closer you get to the op the worse it gets.

You are getting close to your date. You need to rest when you can, keep taking the meds and get prepared for your surgery. I know there are many demands on your time but do try to listen to your body and rest when you can.

It will get better - we all keep telling you and you are probably sick of hearing it. But it does get better and when you are on the other side this pain will be a thing of the past!

 

[Jamie]

So sorry, Cfour....Jaycey had excellent advice. You really must rest as much as you can.

 

[Pat29627]

I had my knee done, but there are probably lots of similarities. I needed someone to get my food for me and carry my Polar Care ice water thing. (I thought it was so heavy after surgery....I must have been really weak!) I needed my daughter to tell me to get up and do the PT. I couldn't have forced myself to do it three times a day even though it didn't take long (it just hurt so much at first.) I couldn't put my TED stockings on by myself for a while.

A few days after I got home, the PT lady showed me how I could get into and out of the shower in the bathtub, but she wanted my daughter to be present the first couple times. I'd been taking sponge baths and washing my hair in the kitchen sink till then since I was afraid to try the shower.

I'm sorry about your pain. Be sure to drink 8 oz of water each hour. Sometimes dehydration magnifies pain response. Some natural things are supposed to help pain, such as fish oil, bromelain, curcumin (turmeric), MSM and others.

 

[Cfourhorses]

Starting today we have 2 stables to care for through the weekend.
This AM I went with my daughter. She had trouble getting a couple horses out to where they needed to go...she yelled over at the truck and said I do not do anything and just sit there.

What am I supposed to do about this? I can't move!

At least yesterday was the last big dog I have to groom , now they are all smallish.

 

[CRCB]

C4, hang in there! You will make it and figure out a way to get things done until your surgery. It will be others' turn to take care of you for a change. We're all thinking positive for you and I hope your surgery day gets here quick!