Drumroll ... un-bate your breath ... here's my
6-Month Performance Review, aka my
State of the Hip Address
[
SPOILER ALERT to all our Pre-Hip pals: Maybe you shouldn't read this: It isn't going to be one of those "hallelujah! back to bungee jumping with nary a thought about my hip!" my life has radically changed!" reports ... And to anyone who doesn't want to read anything that isn't a "success story," maybe you shouldn't read this either. Nobody is sorrier than I am about this, but that's the way it is.]
No changes forward since my last report (4 months ago? I don't really want to go back and reread everything.) in the sense that I haven't tacked on any new things to challenge me (yoga, Pilates, chiropractor, acupuncture, massage, water exercise, cycling, or bungee jumping). I haven't tried these things because I am frequently sore and worry perhaps neurotically about doing anything that is going to inflame things and make me so sore I can't easily get to/from work. What I continue to do is this: I still just go to work every day, do subways stairs and a steep stair once a day during work (for practice), walk frequently at the office, as I get stiff very very quickly (even sitting only 15 minutes), walk a little at lunch, walk a little after work, on my way home. My pedometer frequently says 9 or 10,000 steps; but on a particularly sore day when I want to cut down on these brief, frequent walks, it can go down to 6,000. But that is it. I am still in general very sore much of the time, though the operated hip is not. In fact, the op hip seems to "function" quite well; when I put weight on it, or lift it up to go up a step, it does not hurt. I'm thrilled I had the hip done. But I am not a pain-free person by any long shot.
Oh, as for what I take for pain. I haven't taken any prescription painkillers since the early weeks out from surgery, when I took Norco. Prior to surgery I never took any prescription anything. I only took Advil. Then, since surgery, I have taken mainly Tylenol (regular; then switched to Extra-Strength). I stopped that completely; but the soreness came back so bad that I started taking Tylenol again a few weeks ago. I added back in Advil for about a week, but stopped it again. On average, I guess I have taken usually 4 ES Tylenol/day; maybe on some days 6. The Tylenol helped a bit, but not a lot. It really doesn't touch the back pain. This past week, just as a test, I stopped all Tylenol and of course was not on the Advil. I was miserable all week. This morning I took 2 Tylenol and will take 2 or 4 more today, as I need to do laundry and some housework.
But I still have near-constant pain in my lower back and now constant pain in my other hip, so my life has not changed really too much from the 5 or so years prior to surgery. It's just that this time, the op hip is doing good.
I force myself on weekends to go out and take a subway, bus, and do walking around for shopping and errands and end up probably putting in a good 10,000 steps overall and through sheer persistence, keep myself moving. But it is with constant pain in the lower back, and now, this weekend, I had to do steps toddler style ( a real setback) because of the other hip. It is fatiguing. Yesterday while doing my errands I felt like a car with one really bad tire and drags along.
I have been very down in the dumps and weepy off and on all week about this. I'm just bloody sick and tired of pain. And now that the one hip is done, I feel there is an expectation from people who do not know but who think they know that I should be all better. I'm sure too that people who know me have to be sick of this saga not ending. I still feel like I let people down by not being able to go out and do things like I once could.
Now, if this all boils down to the left hip needing to be replaced, then I'll take it from there. I don't know yet if that's the story behind the pain. I hope the back is related to the hip.
Meanwhile, a mucky-muck (isn't that a great word?!) from work who told me months ago prior to surgery that he was certain I would be back at work at two weeks said the same thing to me Friday!!! I could have spit nails. It was like Groundhog Day, this conversation. And it came out of nowhere. I got stuck next to him at a work function and he started to tell me, AGAIN, about his sainted sister. Needless to say, I was annoyed. He claims that his sister was back at work in two weeks because she is just so devoted to her job. And because he's a mucky-muck, I had to really hold back with what I really thought. I did tell him that it would have been impossible for me to do that, and gave him a few reasons. And he said he assumed my surgery must have been really difficult and that that's why I couldn't come back in two weeks. I informed him my surgery was routine, no surprises, and I had no serious problems at all in recovery but, having said that, it would have been inpossible to jump back into work after two weeks.
As it turns out, his sister is also a mucky-muck, has a husband who drives her everywhere, including work, and she only worked a few hours, anyway. Had the luxury of no boss breathing down her neck. Has assistants, etc. Had the anterior approach and had no restrictions. ALSO ... the irony is that she has to have the other hip done, but is going to retire and then have it done. Well, Mr., if the THR was so darn easy-peasy for your sister, WHY IS SHE WAITING TO RETIRE BEFORE TACKLING THE OTHER HIP????! Well, I could not interrogate this guy about his sister. But .... all of this is just to point out that part of my resumption of another trip to THR Land is going to mean battling with these bone [pardon the pun] headed comments from people I work with or for. I really dread that.
I am also going full circle these days by having so many people at work talk about how they too have "aches and pains" and doesn't everyone our age have them? In other words, minimizing what I'm going through. Which is exactly what my former doctor did when i first tried to figure out years ago why I had hip pain. And friends who were convinced that all I needed to do was find a pool and swim and voila, my hip pain would disappear. (I should tell them
LeeApril26's horrible pre-op swimming experience and maybe that will shut them up.)
So ... this is what I'm at, at six months: the same commentary about "everyone has aches and pains"; the same commentary about knowing so and so who returned to work in two weeks after a THR; and the same pain that inhibits me from fully getting out there and enjoying life. I don't mean bungee jumping. I just mean, going out of town for a family thing; or attending a friend's booth at a crafts fair ... stuff where you are standing and walking for a long time, taking mass transit to/from, lugging bags .... stuff that I just still cannot begin to do.
I know others on BoneSmart have had one hip done and then found the other one went down, so if you could find the patience to enlighten me about this weird twilight period "between the hips," I'd appreciate it. I especially worry about not impeding the progress of my new hip because the other hip is too painful. For example, should I cut down on stairs since they make the un-op hip hurt so much? Or am I endangering the strength of my new hip if I stop stairs?
The jury is out, of course, as to whether having the other hip done (and I will do that--it's just a matter of waiting to spring it on my bosses and figuring out how long I have to wait till I have vacation and sick days built up again, which as of now won't be till spring) is going to solve my chronic pain problems. I have hope that it will. But there are no guarantees. So I'm trying to figure out how to manage things and retain my sanity and keep the blues at bay. It has been a LONG time I haven't been able to really do much physically because of the pain. So I am weary of it.
But as for the operated hip, I think it's doing fine. It feels strong and carries me well and surely. No regrets at all. Just diappointment that it wasn't the life-altering miracle I'd hoped.
Thanks for listening. Sorry it's more peaches and bitter herbs than peaches 'n' cream.........
United Kingdom
