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THR Sandpiper sails over to the other side

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sandpiper, I had a very close friend and business partner a few years back that had some very tragic things happen in her life. She was 8 years sober (drugs and alcohol). She fell off the wagon HARD. I did everything in my power to help her. I called in help to get her to the hospital for detox several times. I even went to alanon to learn how to help her, or let her fall. I finally had to walk away. It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make. We haven't spoken in a while. She moved away and is living up north in PA now. I pray she is healthy, but in the end, we all have to take responsibility for our own actions. I could not save her. Fortunately, I believe she decided to save herself.

:console2: I'm keeping you all in my prayers.

Nancy
 
sandpiper, That is such a sad story. It sounds as though your friend reached a point where he couldn't taken the pain any longer, and he lost hope. It probably happened in a moment when all those who were trying to support and help him were elsewhere, and the desperation overtook him. I've heard too many tragic stories like this, partly because of other things I did professionally, earlier in life. It's the main reason that I'm extremely careful about my pain meds. Even though I know that taking them appropriately, as we all need to do right now, we also want to stay focused on when we can stop taking them, and on having them be a temporary bridge to normality, and not something we need to rely on long-term. I've been vigilant to notice when each type of pain reliever was more than I needed at that point, and either reducing the dosage or stepping down to something a little lower in strength. Right now, I'm only taking the hydrocodone at night and in the morning, and I'm fine in between with Tylenol. If I start to feel some pain around dinnertime (as I did yesterday), I'll take a hydrocodone at that time, but I'm definitely at the point of weaning myself, without compromising my need for excellent pain control. It's a matter of staying focused on what you REALLY need to achieve the goal, and not just taking what you took last week because that's what worked at that time.

I can only hope that your friend is at peace, and that his family and friends (including YOU, Sandpiper), are receiving the support you need at such a difficult time. One thing you all need to keep in mind is that you didn't fail him. No one could have been there every single moment. In his condition, he traveled some dark pathways, and there was bound to be a time when he confronted something he could no longer face. We all try to help each other, and very often it does work, but success in something so difficult is never guaranteed.
 
sandpiper Oh I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Prayers for his family, and for you. I'm glad the headache went away :)

BeckyR I did the same type of "automatic weaning" you're doing, only with amounts, not times. I kept up the tylenol, and still take it 4 times a day, and lessened the amount of percocet gradually, making up the difference with tylenol. Should have seen me cutting all those pills in half LOL so I never took too much tylenol (I was and am using the 325's). But it worked perfectly! I'd had some experience with narcotics in my 30's, and knew that after a while it's very easy to get rid of them so long as you have something else lined up to fill in. While I was weaning, however, I erred on the side of "too much" rather than hurt unnecessarily. I wasn't about to try cutting those pills in quarters:doh: (Actually I did try. Once.) I'm making a trip this weekend which will involve much sitting, and i plan to take along some percocet in case things get out of hand! I suppose I'm fortunate-- I do have that 'addictive personality" if they still call it that, but my addiction is.... food! Sigh.
 
zauberflöte, Your plan sounds wonderful. You really can't cut pills in quarters -- they just start to crumble. (Like you, we've tried that ourselves!). I've lost the weight I gained at the hospital, which was really water retention due to swelling. It also looks as thought I've lost a few pounds more.

I want to lose about 40 pounds, and this time I am really going to do it. Having the THR has given me a new lease on life, and it has reignited my desire to "get my body back" by losing the extra weight. I am doing it by eating sensibly, cutting out most of the snacks (especially the midnight snacks), etc. I already know -- from WeightWatchers, more than once -- how to eat. It is a matter of doing it. I'll also be getting back into exercise, now through my rehab, and then afterwards by keeping it up and expanding it.

I anticipate it will take about a year, but I'm willing to exercise patience as well. This is not only a cosmetic issue, although I want to look the way I feel I should again, but of preserving the gains made by receiving a new hip, wanting to protect my bones and joints, and my overall health. This really is a second chance at life, and I want to have as much energy and strength and well-being for the last third of my life as I possibly can.

Cheers!
 
sandpiper I'm so sorry to hear about your dear friend and his poor family left behind. I'm keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. It's a tragedy that is so difficult to bear and unfortunate for everyone.
I'm glad that you're doing well, otherwise, and your recovery is coming along for you. It's smart to wait on the driving - no sense rushing it if you don't need to. You'll know when it feels right to you.
Take care and keep on getting better!
 
ByGosh BeckyR zauberflöte nmay51. Thank you all so much for your support! It was very difficult day but we all got through it. I can't even imagine how my friends wife and children must be suffering. How do you move on from something like that? It's also heartbreaking to imagine him in such a dark place that this was his only way out. It's more than I can bear to think of at the moment. It was a long day and now his family has to somehow come to terms with this senseless tragedy. I thank you all for your kind words!
 
I do hope the wife and children get some professional help with his death, so they can really move on. I can't imagine dealing with something like that on my own -- dealing wit a loved one's death is bad enough, but you add suicide into the picture and it would become an almost unbearable burden.

Are you doing OK Sandpiper? What a tragedy this all is!

Peace and love to you.
 
Butterfly. I hope they will seek help. They have a very strong faith and very close family ties but his wife and daughter found him when they arrived home from an outing. I'm sure they will need help dealing with that. How do you erase that image? How do you even set foot back in the house? So sad. We were all very close. It's so hard to even accept. Feels like a bad dream. Thanks for thinking of me. All prayers for the family are welcome!
 
ByGosh I am sorry to hear about the tendonitis. Hopefully with treatment the inflammation will go down and it will clear up.
I was surprised to read that you have bone spurs in the hip area after a replacement? Where would they be?
 
nmay51. So sad about your friend but you did what you could and then it's up to them. No one can make the ultimate decisions for them.
When they make the wring ones its heartbreaking.

ByGosh nmay51. randy62. BeckyR and all of the July sparklers who just had their surgery... How are you doing? I haven't forgotten you. Just got wrapped up for a bit but I hope everyone is moving in the right recovery direction!! ByGosh....how are you??? Any improvement???
 
sandpiper i myself am doing fantastic off of drugs and back on to life. Moving and grooving, sneaking and peeping and jiving and driving. My Sue absolutely loves the fact that i have gotten more mobile next thing you know I'll be off crutches and silently sneaking up on her again. sandpiper I am sorry that you lost your friend. Peace be with you
 
sandpiper I'm glad that the family and friends got through the day yesterday. That's one day down... I hope they find a really good counselor, n addition to all the other support they must have. Prayers! You are a brave girl to be going out for a full day at 3 1/2 weeks-- I know you had to, though. Hope you can take today off :)
BeckyR I gained weight over the past month, and now is the time to quit with the comfort eating already! I'm following on your footsteps, girl! :)
 
randy62. Lololol well!!!! You must be feeling better if you plan to sneak up on your wife soon! You sound absolutely wonderful!!do you have any idea when you will go back to work? I'm not sure how long they typically keep you home after THR. I have gear 3 months is about the norm but not sure.
zauberflöte oh go ahead and indulge! A little comfort food never hurt anyone! Besides you are on borrowed time with that. Once you are officially healed and cleared for back to work it's all over. So....I say enjoy it while you can my friend!!! And think of it this way too... If you fall.... The extra padding is a good cushion!! :heehee:
 
Hi sandpiper Your friend's family will have each other during this time, and their faith, which is so important. You were good to be there for them, too. It's a lot to deal with now, especially on the heels of major surgery. Do make sure you look after yourself.
I'm sorry to report I've not improved. The first day seemed to offer a little relief, but that's no longer the case. There's still hope that the shots will work, though. It can take a week, I understand. If nothing changes, then we'll move on to a CT scan next. One step at a time. It does take a long time, though, and meanwhile, it's very trying.
But this forum is helping me, as you well know. Everyone is wonderful and so supportive, I couldn't imagine what it would be like without them.

Goody2Shoes3 I just posted on your forum, by the way. :) Thanks for your kind words. The OS doesn't think the bone spurs play a factor in all of this. He thought they were insignificant. I've forgotten exactly where they were -I can't remember, sorry, and I don't think the ultrasound report says it, but I should check.

zauberflöte Gee, you don't look like you've gained any weight! You look perfect - nice and healthy, with a lovely glow. :SUNsmile: Don't worry about a pound or two, once you're really up and at 'em, like randy62 is, you'll trim right up, just like you were, only better. :)
 
To all you ladies out there worrying about weight gain after surgery. Let me point out some facts that need to be said. Fact one your partner is both lucky and happy to have the new you with grooving hips. Fact two you are who you are and we love you for you. And major fact number three more men prefer rubenesque women to twiggys. Peace be with you.
 
sandpiper i am hoping to go back to work on the 26th of Aug. at least part time, if not full time. I am not sure because there is that level of dragging in the afternoon without a nap. Either i will be past that or if not i will be working part time.
 
ByGosh randy62 sandpiper
Bygosh, more than a pound or two-- I can't get into my jeans! I don't trim up so fast as I used to, in a major way, sigh... Randy, yes I do agree with you, and love ya for what you say, but there's the rest of my health to take into consideration, too (sorry to get all serious, I do love your wonderful comments ALL the time!! Your wife is a lucky lady :) ) Sandpiper, see above comments. This has gone beyond funny. I am a true food addict (could be booze, could be drugs, so I'm lucky) and I have relapsed big time...:tantrum:
 
ByGosh gezzzzz! I can't believe the shot didn't help! Why do they think you developed tendonitis? I know leg lifts were mentioned but I think leg lifts are part of the PT rehab aren't they? They show leg lifts in my manual that I received from the surgeons office. I feel so bad that you are still in pain! What is their next course of action?
randy62 you are so sweet! Lucky gal your wife! I can't believe you are going back to work so soon! I really feel great but still can't picture being back to work in a few weeks. I'm thinking more like Sept. what do you do for work. Don't over do it!!! I'm so happy for you that you feel so good but don't forget to take care of yourself. Work can wait if need be! Ok... Do I sound like a mother? Lol I'll stop now! Lol
didoan thank you for your kind words!
 
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