Roger, I came into this forum about three-quarters of the way through this thread. After being unable to sleep, again, last night, I decided to go back and read your post from the beginning. It's been a long, tough road for you and your family for the past couple of years. I've been traveling the same road, I think.
Two years ago, on 8/24/09, I had a heart attack about half an hour before I was due to teach an 8:00 a.m. class at the community college. I had sat down at a table outside, and, luckily, one of my students came and st at my table. I said, "I don't feel well.". Then my hands went numb. I pushed my phone towards him and told him to call 911.
I was really lucky that day. I was out of surgery, with a brand new stent in my right coronary artery within an hour of that phone call. My cardiologist told me I'd be better than ever within a week, with minimal heart damage. While he was right about the minimal heart damage, he was wrong about the better than ever part. Something had gone really wrong in my chest during the heart attack, and two years later, we still aren't sure what happened. The best guess, after many tests and many specialists, even spinal surgery to repair a herniated thoracic disk, is that I tore cartilage around the xiphoid process, the bottommost part of the sternum.
Anyway, it's been life-alteringly painful. It's been difficult or me to cook dinner, let alone teach, even though I've made it through a couple of classes each semester, with the help of pain medication.
Then there was the problem of the knees. My knees started giving me trouble when I was 20, and have just deteriorated and limited my activities over the years. I finally decided to go with the replacement that had been suggested to me five years ago by my OS. I figured it couldn't do anything but help. I have been so tired af my life being so limited by what my body could not do.
I guess I could identify with your detrmination to continue to find life's sweet spots, despite all the annoying seeds that keep getting in the way. I've had to remind myself often of all the wonderful things about my life a lot in the past couple of years, because I had many moments when I wondered what the point was of it all.
I, too, have been married for a long time, and I am still "the bride". I can imagine how difficult it was for your wife to be ill and put you through all that angst. I'm sure that it is very difficult for you to be the one putting her through it, now. I know my husband makes a far better nurse than he does a patient!
I guess my point in writing all this, Roger, is to tell you that I'm rooting for you, and your family. I kept seeing shadows of my life in your story and wanted to tell you that it's all good. I'm off to a new career of slaying dragons! At least, until I'm back in the classroom in January. I live on a mountain that cyclists just LOVE! I think I'll stick with the stationary and leave the thrill of the hill to them.