Revision TKR Revision Completed...Ready to get back to my life...<

[Lori-M]

Oh Tessa, I'm so sorry you're paying for overdoing it. What a great mom you are! Now it's time to take care of yourself ma'am! And do NOT feel bad about telling your hubby to get on the ball -- you're less than two weeks post-op and he needs to be more responsive to that. I think it's a gene thing with men; sometimes they're absolutely wonderful. Other times it's like they have blinders on. Hang in there sweetie!

 

[Brownie51]

Tessa I even farmed out my yorky for the first 11 days and here you are taking care of two little ones and one big one! Do have a relative who could help out with the kids? You need to use feminine psychology on your MAN! Tell him how appreciative you are of him stepping up to the plate while you are recovering. Literally tell him he is your HERO. You will see his chest puff up big and proud when you do that. That will help him step up to the plate. I know it seems weird since right now you are disappointed in him but just give it a try!

 

[KneeAware]

Oh Tessa, I'm so sorry you're paying for overdoing it. What a great mom you are! Now it's time to take care of yourself ma'am! And do NOT feel bad about telling your hubby to get on the ball -- you're less than two weeks post-op and he needs to be more responsive to that. I think it's a gene thing with men; sometimes they're absolutely wonderful. Other times it's like they have blinders on. Hang in there sweetie!

I am not trying to overdo it either, its just these things that have come up that have to be dealt with and done...! @ the it must be a gene thing with men. I do feel bad about telling him to suck it up and deal with it....I know he has a bad back, just that since this 2nd pkr, seems his back is suddenly THAT much worse. So there I go again, ! I have to be nicer, ! I am being pretty affable I think, through it all, with no pain meds, he's lucky I'm not chewing his head off, !

 

[KneeAware]

Tessa I even farmed out my yorky for the first 11 days and here you are taking care of two little ones and one big one! Do have a relative who could help out with the kids? You need to use feminine psychology on your MAN! Tell him how appreciative you are of him stepping up to the plate while you are recovering. Literally tell him he is your HERO. You will see his chest puff up big and proud when you do that. That will help him step up to the plate. I know it seems weird since right now you are disappointed in him but just give it a try!

Yeah I don't think its a good idea to farm out my kiddies....! I do have a relative that does help out with the little guy (he's 3 yrs old), she's been taking him to his playgroup and things.

I'm sure he would send me for a psychiatric assessment if I suddenly told him he's my hero, ! I do tell him everyday though that I really do appreciate all he is doing. I am just a wee bit less patient I think, than I was 1st time around.

 

[Jacky48]

Patience is a virtue, so they say, not always easy so we say! You certainly have a full plate with two small kids, who can't cook, clean or wash the floor, so to save energy remember all that stuff will be there when you're further out in your recovery, so in the mean time do the bare minimum and rest alot!

 

[Brownie51]

Okay I want all you ladies to tell your husband that he is your HERO right after he does something nice for you and give him a sweet smile. It's an amazing thing. Their chests puff up and then they want to do even MORE for you! Tessa try it on your 3 year old when he does a little thing for you!

 

[KneeAware]

Patience is a virtue, so they say, not always easy so we say! You certainly have a full plate with two small kids, who can't cook, clean or wash the floor, so to save energy remember all that stuff will be there when you're further out in your recovery, so in the mean time do the bare minimum and rest alot!

I have taken it sorta easy since Sunday evening...the kids are being phenomenal through out all this, its now just this pkr but the one I had on the other knee back in May. They get that when I have recovered we can do lots of the fun stuff again. Its a lot to ask of them but I know in the long scheme of things this is for the best. Its the dang dirty dishes that get to me ! Before the surgery I could let them sit for a while but now just seeing them there grrrrrrrrrrrr...I don't know why but it just bothers me sooooooooooooooooooooo much! My husband will wash them but not right after a meal, maybe after two or three meals, !

 

[Lori-M]

My husband will wash them but not right after a meal, maybe after two or three meals, !

I feel your frustration! My husband will run a sink full of hot soapy water and "soak" the dishes until the water is cold and clammy (and greasy! ). He did it yesterday for a single plate and fork and I wanted to hit him with a frying pan! But in other ways he is sweet and thoughtful so I suppose it balances out -- sometimes.

 

[Janet2012]

The first few weeks I used my bedroom as my command center and was keeping my knees elevated anyway. So, my husband was in charge of the kitchen. He brought me meals on a tray, brought one for himself, and we dined in my command center. I'm sure he wasn't doing everything the way I would, but I was grateful that he took such good care of me, so I just stayed out of the kitchen and didn't look! (Not that he did a bad job.)

 

[Debbie_joints]

I know it is hard to turn over the kitchen to our husbands. But we have to learn not to micro manage them. Our jobs early in our recovery is just that, to recover, not to do dishes or supervise the kitchen sink. Maybe tell your husband your expectations and hope for the best. If it doesn't get done, he will do it later. Remember, this is hard on him too, the woman is normally the caretaker and this is a whole new ballgame for them. Now my husband took it as a challenge and told me the kitchen was his domain during my first few weeks. I did make it easier for him by preparing lots of meals ahead of time and vacuum sealed them. But I have found since I can do it all myself again, he is much better at helping me. So try not to be too judgmental about their help even if it isn't up to par. Some help is better then no help.

 

[Jacky48]

Paper plates, my dear Watson, paper plates, also paper cups and plastic utensils. Until you get yourself where you want to be, take the easy way out. I'm basically not a throw away gal, however anything to reduce the stress at the moment and besides the kids will think there are having a picnic every day! It's a win, win for everyone.

 

[KneeAware]

I feel your frustration! My husband will run a sink full of hot soapy water and "soak" the dishes until the water is cold and clammy (and greasy! ). He did it yesterday for a single plate and fork and I wanted to hit him with a frying pan! But in other ways he is sweet and thoughtful so I suppose it balances out -- sometimes.

The ole sink full of cold and greasy dishes...ewwwwwww! Time to have a :cocktail: and then a forget about the dishes...lol!

 

[KneeAware]

The first few weeks I used my bedroom as my command center and was keeping my knees elevated anyway. So, my husband was in charge of the kitchen. He brought me meals on a tray, brought one for himself, and we dined in my command center. I'm sure he wasn't doing everything the way I would, but I was grateful that he took such good care of me, so I just stayed out of the kitchen and didn't look! (Not that he did a bad job.)

My husband is the chief cook in our household I am usually the sue-chef....he is very good to me though and does help out, I know his way and my way aren't the same so I just have to suck it up...

 

[KneeAware]

I know it is hard to turn over the kitchen to our husbands. But we have to learn not to micro manage them. Our jobs early in our recovery is just that, to recover, not to do dishes or supervise the kitchen sink. Maybe tell your husband your expectations and hope for the best. If it doesn't get done, he will do it later. Remember, this is hard on him too, the woman is normally the caretaker and this is a whole new ballgame for them. Now my husband took it as a challenge and told me the kitchen was his domain during my first few weeks. I did make it easier for him by preparing lots of meals ahead of time and vacuum sealed them. But I have found since I can do it all myself again, he is much better at helping me. So try not to be too judgmental about their help even if it isn't up to par. Some help is better then no help.

I have learned after the last pkr to not micro manage him, counter productive to say the least, sounded like nagging and criticism to him, which honestly it wasn't. It was more that I was frustrated because I was having trouble doing things for myself...and whole healing process was taking waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long for my liking (a wee bit unrealistic on my part, didn't know about the longer recovery going into it).

Both times we have prepared meals ahead of time and vacuum sealed them...just he loves to cook. I know this is hard on him too and its been a long time, going back to May and now starting all over at the beginning again it seems....!

I don't judge him at all and I do let him know I appreciate all he has been doing for me, for us, again I think its my frustration and impatience that gets in the way sometimes.

 

[KneeAware]

Paper plates, my dear Watson, paper plates, also paper cups and plastic utensils. Until you get yourself where you want to be, take the easy way out. I'm basically not a throw away gal, however anything to reduce the stress at the moment and besides the kids will think there are having a picnic every day! It's a win, win for everyone.

We did the paper plate thing for one day, kids thought one meal on them were enough and I am inclined to agree with them. I just have this thing about dirty dishes atm I think...lol

I sound like such a whiney brat in these posts, I think I will quit writing them...

 

[Janet2012]

No! Do post your whininess here! We, of all people, understand, even as we try to help you through it!

 

[Jacky48]

No,no,no Tessa, you do not sound like a whiney brat, so please don't quit writing. We have all been and are going through the very same thing you are. That's way we are here, to lean one each other and help each other get through this! If we all quit writing because we felt like we were (whining brats) this wonderful forum would not exist and future TKR's would have nowhere to go for support!

See this is how it works, or at least for me this is how it worked, when you're new out of the gate with your TKR you go through some very trying times and TKRers before you help guide you through those trying times because they have already been through it and know what you're going through. Now, when you're past this stage, you will have the wisdom that those who are here now trying to help you through this, and you will be able to guide others through their rough spots. That's why we're a BoneSmart family! Of which I am proud to be a part off!

So please don't stop posting, we are here for you and you are here for us!

Stay well and stay positive my BoneSmartie friend!

 

[Debbie_joints]

Tessa, we all whine, it is part of the recovery program, it is right under the BoneSmart rules, of 1. Ice 2. Elevate 3. Rest and most important.... 4. Whine.... I know it helped my husband understand when he found out that after knee replacements a person can go through depression. On those days we are weepy and nothing is going right, he did try to comfort and hoped the next day would be better.

 

[Nanners]

Tessa I am at 9 1/2 weeks now, so I am able to get about better. I am still weak so not much help around the house yet. But let me tell you, I see things that have my name all over it. Looked inside the microwave the other day, Yuck, Yuck, Yuck! When the energy comes I have to clean that thing. But God bless my hubby! He has been taking care of me, and thru my Gastritis battle that lasted a month, and training our new puppy! So I will give him a break (this time). LOL Big hugs sweetie you do have your hands full.

 

[jd24448]

My hubby, while not a fantastic housekeeper, has done most everything that I ask him. He finally learned how to operate the dishwasher and I go behind him and do the wiping up. At nine weeks out, I can drive and volunteer a few hours at the Artisan Center. I can work about 15 min. and then i have to ice. The worst for me is the pain on the side of the knee. Also the weather makes me ache....so instead of trying to do to much since my bend is good and I am walking most of the time without the cane, I am trying just to heal up good since the next surgery is only a few weeks away and let them both heal during the winter....hang in there...WE will make it.