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Thanks Caryl,
Those are all good questions for me to ponder.
I just found out they are still giving her muscle relaxants, going to call in the morning and say that she refuses muscle relaxants.
She is getting the same dose she had when she had severe muscle spasms so you can imagine how it is making her now, she is like a limp doll. This is causing a lot of her problems.
I think she has delirium, but no one else is doing anything to determine a course of action. I am managing it as best I can long distance.
I do not need to make a fast decision, I have time to gather information.
Thanks for your support, it is much appreciated,
 
@Pumpkln Hi Chris,
I like the new avatar. I know what you mean about hanging on to favourite sweaters. I have an orange Club Monaco sweatshirt that I have had since 1988. I wear it all the time around the house, camping and at the lake. It has so many holes in it, so I don't wear it out but it is so comfortable, I cannot part with it. Thank goodness the baggy sweaters were in fashion in the 80s or I would not be able to wear it now. :)

Sorry to hear that your mom is still struggling. I cannot offer advice as I have not yet had to deal with this with my parents or my in-laws. I think @Celle brings up some very valid points. My heart goes out to you. This is not a decision that can be taken lightly. You are such a kind and caring daughter that I am sure that your heart and your head will lead you to make the right choice.

It sounds like your knee is not giving you the grief it was earlier. Has to be the Red Converse. :)

What are your plans for the weekend? Hope you have a restful night!
 
@Pumpkln I know how hard it is to make decisions for the best care for yor parents when their health is deteriorating. My family went through it for five years with my dad before he passed away almost two years ago, and now we are dealing with it with my mother. One thing that should be considered is whether there is documented progress in rehab. If she is making progress, then that would be good reason for her to continue there. Usually, if they are not progressing, insurance or Medicare won't pay for them to be there for long, so you are forced into another decision. Hospice at home is pretty much for the time when you feel that improvement is health is not a realistic expectation. All they will do is try to keep her comfortable, and eventually you come to a place that is all that is needed. We had my dad at home with 24/7 sitters for a while and that became extremely expensive! But they would no longer let him be in assisted living because physically he needed more help than they could provide, and he couldn't stay in rehab because he wasn't making any progress. It's very hard and the options are extremely limited. I'll keep you in mind and in my prayers. I know it's hard.

Connie
 
The challenge right now is the muscle relaxant, it makes her almost unresponsive. Dr. who has never seen her won't D/C it.
As as result Mom is being seen as making no progress in rehab. She collapsed in PT yesterday because of the relaxants.
Mom has an iatrogenic problem, that only I recognize.
I almost think they are trying to euthanize her by following orders even when they can see it is harmful.
Mom is on the same dose they started three weeks ago when she had severe painful spasms, they have resolved and she is still being given the same dose.
Will call MD in the morning and ask why she is on a muscle relaxant when she no longer has spasms.
Thanks for letting me vent.


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LTKR Sept 13 2011
Revision April 15 2014
 
Yes, something about that seems very wrong. I'm glad she has you for an advocate. Take especially good care of yourself as you work through this. Caring for others takes a lot out of you, and if you run yourself down, you can no longer help them either. :friends:

Connie
 
Oh @Pumpkln

I'm with you on this. I suspect what you said as well. Why would they even put her on antispasmodic medication the same dose as three weeks ago. No I think she needs out of rehab x that's worried even me and I don't pretend for one minute to know much because I don't but I do have common sense x of course she's going to collapse at physio, the muscle relaxants have doe. The job. Actually they sound like way too high a dose tbh xxx

Please take care
Love Ann x x x
 
Have you managed to reduce the muscle relaxant dose for your Mom yet @Pumpkln ? It is hard work getting the medical profession to listen. They always think that they know best, but sometimes I think they lack common sense. They don't look at the wider picture and the effects these drugs can have on you.

Take care, thinking of you and your Mom
 
Called Mom's caregiver this morning, and could hear my Mother asking for her clothes, it has been 16 hours since her last relaxant, and she is better. I could hardly hear her yesterday with her mouth right up to the phone. The caregiver was instructed to tell them Mom refuses the muscle relaxant. Then called the nurse, the competent one, and she will hold the muscle relaxant today.
We will see how she is doing later.
As far as moving her out of there, the problem has been with the Dr's office and that will not change. Hoping with her off the relaxants she can better participate in her therapy, and be able to go home.
My poor knee is staying about the same, at least when it is unhappy, it seems to recover with just a little rest, ice, elevation, and meds.
Going swimming later today :swim:
 
Hi @Pumpkln

Your mom is so lucky to have you fighting her corner. I'm so glad that you have got a good relationship with the caregiver and the nurse. Thank goodness for that. I think a swim will do you good. :swim: I think it's very good for clearing you head! I used to love going to Aquacise. Will go back one day x

I've stayed up downstairs all day today, with the family but now they've all gone I've come up for a lie down x x x

Take care Chris
Love Ann x
 
Hi @Pumpkln

I thought they might be. When we are in a tense personal situation our bodies want to curl up into a ball and escape. The same happens to our muscles when they are tense x I'm so glad you got to swim Chris. It clearly does you good both physically and mentally xx

You're going through a lot right now but doing the exact right thing by taking time out and swimming. I'm so pleased that you do that Chris. It will help you keep your sanity and an outlet for frustrations xxx

Take care my sweet friend
Love Ann xxx
 
I hope your mom is doing better. It must be so hard to try to make sure she's getting care when you're not right there.
 
Mom's caregiver called this afternoon, said she is not eating or drinking.
But she held the phone on speaker near my Mom's ear so she could listen to the conversation. Told her we are buying a new bed with my Birthday money, then told her the funny part. We like Hilton Hotel mattresses, so we went to the Hilton and asked if we could try a bed...
Took the clerk awhile but she finally agreed and gave us a key, my husband said he wanted to shout, did you remember to bring protection. :heehee:
We are looking at several beds and will probably decide in a few weeks. Caregiver said Mom nodded her head and smiled. I then asked her if she would like some Kiefer, we have blueberry and raspberry, she shook her head yes. Hopefully the caregiver has given her some by now.

Yesterday I went with out my heel lock, was OK during the day, but last night my Knee let me know that I need to do the heel lock daily. I take it off at night to give my skin a break.
It is always something!
 
Hi Chris @Pumpkln

I have been reading your posts from late October to today, in order to see how you and your Mom are doing.

It has been so very hard for you to advocate for your Mom with the Dr. & Rehab centre when you are far away.

I admire your determination and would hope that my sons would be as competent an advocate for me whenever I may need them to.

You are still healing and this emotional toll has to be wearing down your energy.

I sincerely hope for better days for your Mom and that whatever your and your brothers' decision will be that you will be comforted that you have made a good decision for the care of your mother.

Take care and may you find peace & comfort in the days to come,
Cathie
 
Hi @Pumpkln

I was sorry to read that your mom wasn't eating or drinking. Is it possible it's withdrawal off the meds? I don't know much about these things but it was just a thought. It's a good sign she responded to your phone call and was able to nod that she wanted the Kiefer, so that shows her understanding is fine.

I burst out laughing when read about your hubby's remark about protection...pure hilarity :heehee: It put a huge grin on my face. I like his humour.

I read the NYT article about elderly and the falls, causes, problems, the lot. Those articles have given me something to consider now. They were fabulous and I thank you. Once dad goes in for his operation on his hernia (date unknown yet) I'm going to do a kind of risk assessment of their house beforehand, when I next visit.

The problem is I have to get my husband to take me, as I still can't drive due to the meds. He is reluctant because I'm always so ill after going. The housework has gone into decline because moms eyes are bad and dad's hernia is so painful. They have cats. My worst triggers for my asthma is cats and house dust mite. I come out eyes streaming, chest unbelievably irritated. They won't have anyone in, not even my daughters, their grandchildren to clean. My dad's chest has been terrible since he retired. He is 80 in December. He has asthma too and it's not rocket science to work out whats wrong there. I feel so sorry for him. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love and adore cats and I can fuss them as long as I wash my hands immediately and don't make contact with my face. Another problem occurs there for me if my brothers children are running up and down the living room, they disturb the carpet, the fur, the dust and within minutes I'm suffering. My brother picked up on this and we started going to his or mine for Sunday night tea. I haven't done this in ages as I seem to have had one thing after the other.

Anyway, I hope all goes ok for your mom and she recovers well. Please take care. Once again a big thank you for those articles. They really opened my eyes to the problems elderly parents face x

Love Ann x x x
 
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