Reassurance please!

[Cassidy]

Thank you for all your lovely, upbeat replies. Since I came onto this website, only a week or so ago, I've felt much better about the whole prospect of the op - still a bit sentimental about my bit of hip (you and me both, Layla!), but less pessimistic about the dislocation risk and lasting of the joint - and, as hipster333 points out, who's to say that I'll outlive it (joking aside, I hope the hip lasts 40 years, not that I only last 10!). A friend told me that the OS I'm hoping for doesn't like doing epidurals, so that might decide that one for me too. In the meantime, I hope all you post op people continue to progress well - apart from anything else, I draw inspiration from you all!! (and, of course, I genuinely wish you well too, not just for that reason). Hopefully I'll be as stalwart when it comes to it. xx

 

[Jaycey]

A friend told me that the OS I'm hoping for doesn't like doing epidurals, so that might decide that one for me too.

It's not actually an epidural - it's a spinal. They are pretty common these days - I'd be surprised if the surgeon doesn't prefer this method. But wait and discuss this with the surgeon.

 

[hipster333]

@Cassidy I hope your new hip lasts 40+ yrs too! (and mine too for that matter ) I can't believe tomorrow will be a week since my surgery. I'm not running any marathons, but things are so much better than before. It's worth it! You can do this!

 

[AgilityDog]

My OS assured me, prior to surgery, that it was better Not to wait until the 'last minute'. I'm thinking, since I don't know when I will draw my last breath, that if I did know, wouldn't I rather have as much time enjoying my new hip? I have a tendency to look at people of a certain age as being a bit old for major surgery. That age for my little brain close to 90. I don't want to wait until I can't stand it and find out, Now I am too old! If it is inevitable, why not do it when you are advised to do so? I tend to think that we bounce back faster when we are younger. That's based on flu virus that lasted about twice as long as the kids'. (It's a Mom thing)

My surgeon told my husband that he was surprised by the poor shape of my femur. It makes me glad that I didn't wait.

Everyone here has been kind, uplifting, and positive. I was worried about the anesthesia. I talked with my surgeon and anesthesiologist and felt must better prior to surgery. Now that I have a brand new hip, I am more happy, comfortable, and pleased than I could have ever imagined

 

[Cassidy]

Thank you hipster333 and AgilityDog - I'm sure you're both right. I sit around and wonder why I'm doing it, then I try to walk to the 'bus stop and remind myself why! I'm in that frame of mind where I swing from thinking I'm doing the right thing, to deciding I'm not. My husband keeps reminding me that I used to like rambling - what's rambling?! - I haven't walked further than a few hundred yards without regretting it for a couple of years - and I must keep that in mind. Trouble is, I keep reading about the grinding pain that others have all the time, and I really don't, so I feel like a fraud - only after a while walking and a short time standing - but once I do get it, I have to stop. I suppose it does prevent me from planning to do most of the things I'd like to, so it's fullness of life. I said to the OS that if I didn't plan to walk any distance, or stand up (I'm in a choir, so standing is fairly important!), I could probably cope for a few more years, and he said did I want to cope for a few more years! That's the crux.

 

[Mojo333]

I could've possibly made it a few more years until replacement.
Walking in pain, no sleeping, cranky, depressed...
Miss those bad hips?
Not even a little bit!
You've got this.

 

[AgilityDog]

I was not in excruciating pain all the time. I was not anticipating a replacement. But I needed the new hip and the proof was in the surgery!

 

[Jaycey]

Trouble is, I keep reading about the grinding pain that others have all the time, and I really don't, so I feel like a fraud

This is actually good news. Most of us limped around far too long pre-op. Doing this impacts other areas making recovery more complicated. You are not a fraud - just a very wise person getting rid of that bad hip.

 

[MammaT]

I understand what you mean about feeling like a fraud, my right hip pain was not yet as bad as I let my left get. But there was no sane reason to let it go that far.

I read the stories of those who had had both replaced and they all said they went for second quicker. I think if you can get to first sooner, it will help your recovery. I also found I didn’t realize how really limited my world had become until recovery.

 

[Cassidy]

I think the "limited world" sums up the feeling I have. If I plan my day so I get a lift to the bus stop, walk the minimum whilst I'm away, then another lift from the bus stop, I can survive the discomfort. I'm always wondering, though, if there'll be anywhere to sit down should the need arise - and as for cycling, or walking around a town on holiday, for example - forget it!! I think it's actually getting to my husband too, now - he's very good at giving me the lifts when needed but, unlike his growing deafness which is irritating, but not limiting in what we do, my bad hip does stop us both joining in various social activities that we'd looked forward to in retirement (I hasten to add that I'm not quite there yet - I'm much younger than him!! (lol, as the young ones would say))

 

[Layla]

Hi @Cassidy
I wasn't in excruciating pain all the time myself. There were hours, even some days when I
felt pretty good convincing myself I could wait longer. Then there were the reminders. Like realizing how I couldn't walk leisurely around a store any longer without a cart. Waking and wondering if it was going to be a good day, or a bad day. Not making many firm plans because I wasn't certain how I'd feel, or if I could handle the situation comfortably. I didn't take many NSAIDS, personal choice, I hate them. Never got a shot, told myself I'd have surgery before I ever became dependent on either. My quality of life was suffering overall. My poor husband felt the brunt of it as I'd back out of things last minute. So....you don't have to be in excruciating pain 24/7 to know it's time.

Also...We can be sentimental about our hip. Look at all the places it took us.
When the time is right, if you choose to, have a little cry over it and make peace with the situation.
That's what I did. No shame in that. In essence you are thankful for that hip and don't want to lose it.
Sounds pretty normal to me. You'll know when the time is right.

Best wishes as you journey through!

 

[anny]

@Cassidy ....ditto what everyone else has said.....no grinding pain here, low-grade ache that ramps up occasionally, but usually manageable.....BUT where I am trying to convince myself it isn't so bad, I realise it's only working because I have cut out everything I can't do and now my life now is like a tiny fraction of what it used to be. Being brutally honest with myself, this op is what I need to do......I'm too young to be relegated to 'disabled elderly person'! You know what they say...."the first step is the hardest"

 

[Cassidy]

Thanks Layla and anny - you're making me feel less fraudulent! I think my family can see clearer than I can - my younger daughter (25, but still the baby) automatically proffers her arm for me to hold when walking, which can't be good, can it?!! My parents walk faster than I do. Roll on being able to walk unaided and quickly!

 

[anny]

" Roll on being able to walk unaided and quickly!" yay to that!

 

[Layla]

How are you doing @Cassidy?
Hope your week is going well and not too painful....
Hugs

 

[Cassidy]

Thanks for asking @Layla. I had the MRI on Saturday, and I'm assuming that if it's all clear regarding infection, I'll continue to move up the list. As I'm not doing much at the moment, I'm not actually getting enough pain - if you know what I mean! - which does make me very nervous and question whether I should hang on for a few more years. Maybe I'll walk around for a bit and remind myself why I'm getting it done! And how are you?

 

[Layla]

I'm great, Cassidy, thanks for asking.
I do know what you mean, it's so difficult and it's a very big decision.

I've always heard, you'll know when the time is right....and you will.
You'll start weighing out the good vs the bad. I actually put it on paper once so I could see it staring back
at me. You'll begin to question why you're settling for mediocre. At least I did. You'll get tired of pain and the inconveniences that accompany it. You'll start circling the lot at the store, looking for the closest parking spot to the door. You'll begin to back out of engagements, or not make plans at all because you don't know if you'll be having a good day, or a bad day. You will know when the time is right. You will also tire of obsessing about all. At least I did. It consumed a lot of my thoughts.

I can't even say I was 100% committed the day I scheduled my surgery but I knew my life was no longer fulfilling, I was anxious and mildly depressed because I was fearful. I talked it over with my husband but not very often. It was my hip, my life, my decision and I had to mentally work through the process on my own. I didn't care what anyone else thought. Eventually you just make a decision and roll with it.

Prayers for favorable MRI results, comfort and peace of mind as you move forward.
@Cassidy

 

[Cassidy]

Thanks for sharing your experience @Layla. As I say, I can adapt life to cope. I'll walk to the bus stop on the way to town, go to the nearest shops for a short while, leaving enough hip power to get back to the bus stop (although mostly hobbling long before reaching the bus stop), then ringing my husband for a lift from the bus stop at home. Doubly annoying, because I've got my cheap bus pass now! I wouldn't consider getting the train into the city to walk the embankment, or visit museums, for example. I went up to see the lights at Christmas, which was just about do-able door to door train, straight onto a bus, off for a short walk, back on the bus/train and onto car parked at station. Some would say that should be enough, and I appreciate that I'm so much better off than some, but I suppose I was used to walking/cycling long distances (even a couple of marathons!) in my long distant youth, and I'd looked forward to at least rambling 3 or 4 miles in retirement. I'm just nervous of something going wrong and wishing I'd left things as they were. Why do we women think so much?! My husband's view is very black and white - my life is much narrower than I'd hoped for, and this op will broaden it and don't think about possible hazards. Since my infection 12 years ago I've had less faith in my infallibility. I suppose I feel lucky to be here in whatever condition, and remember my OS (a different one) telling me to wait until things got really bad, as everybody underestimated the severity of the op, and that sometimes things go wrong. I know - confidence building!! Anyway my current, younger, OS says why put up with second best, and seems full of confidence. He did tell me to expect it to be a bit better after 6 weeks, better still after 3 months, but to expect the whole process to take a year or so, so he wasn't being unrealistic. Anyway, those of you who've had the same doubts have helped me a lot with the decision making and I look forward to going out without having to have a plan b - just a shame that I have to feel so anxious about the means of getting to that stage!!

 

[Cassidy]

Not to mention mourning the loss of that little bit of bone! And does anybody know how much I allow on the scales for the extra weight?!!!!

 

[Jaycey]

And does anybody know how much I allow on the scales for the extra weight?!!!!

Hardly any weight. Here's an article from our Library Weight of hip and knee prostheses. Most people do notice a weight gain just post op. It's because they pump fluids in you almost the entire time you are in hospital. In most cases this is very temporary as your mobility increases post op and you can move around more.