TKR Reader's Left TKR Spacer Exchange

[Reader525]

@Jockette I am planning to get some protein drinks tomorrow. I think this surgery threw me for a loop, it was so much more than I thought it would be. I bet the stress of worrying about every pain, the frustration of not healing quickly, the isolation and inactivity, it all contributed. I'm interested to see what my blood work shows. I'm so glad all of you are here on BoneSmart, it's the family I need right now.

 

[Jockette]

You are also worried about your husband, so I’m sure that’s added to your stress.

Hopefully your bloodwork is fine.

 

[Reader525]

@Jockette Yes! My husband changed his surgery date to November 2nd to give me a couple more weeks to get stronger. I'm sure that's on my mind too!

 

[Jockette]

I’m sorry you have so much going on at the same time.

 

[eaglemom]

I'm so glad your husband changed his surgery date. Score for you. And no work until Jan., another score for you. I think your still simply doing too much. You don't realize it - you think you can do it - and boom, your exhausted and feeling rotten. I'd cut back on everything. I know its not what you want to hear, but I think your body is tired.

Protein drinks are an excellent idea. Let us know about your blood work.

 

[BBCG]

Reader, I’m so happy to hear you plan to slow down, back off the high intensity exercise you’ve been doing and give your body the time it needs to heal. It is tough to do, especially us “do-ers”! But, I learned to be able to enjoy acting as if I’m lazy in the early weeks of this recovery after my awful first go-round, and then after I found Bonesmart. I have followed your journey and often shaken my head because you sound like me! I’d think, “But, that’s not too much!” And then, that night or the next day: pain! I was a much better lazy bones this time! And my recovery has been SO much easier! So, hooray for you; your new baby knee will be happy!

 

[Reader525]

@BBCG I always prided myself on my energy and "stick-to-it-tive-ness", and now in this situation, it's not an asset! I am still wondering why everyone else seems to be pain free at my stage. Yet it appears to be because whatever I do seems to be too much. It's so hard to understand! Friends, my husband and the OS don't seem to understand why I still feel icky and limp. I almost feel like I'm failing them.

@eaglemom My blood work came back and I read my results on the portal. Everything is okay, even my Hemoglobin is 12.9. Maybe I'm just worn out, but I don't think anyone in my life is going to understand that. They see me reading, with my legs on a pillow, icing, and will definitely comment, how can you be worn out when all you do is lie around!? Do you think I should still do gentle cycling? Or stop everything, you're right, it's not what I want to hear.

 

[Jockette]

I am still wondering why everyone else seems to be pain free at my stage.

Not everyone, and not even many, are pain free at 3 months. I certainly wasn’t. You are not a rare case, but more the average!

We all deal with other people who don’t understand this recovery and have unrealistic expectations for us. Hard as it is, try to ignore them, and take care of yourself. We here understand what you’re going through.

 

[Reader525]

@Jockette Thank you so much, it's a very lonely journey sometimes. Do you think I should stop doing everything? Or do you think at least cycling with no resistance to keep everything moving is okay?
I think the post-op blues have moved in for a while.

 

[Jockette]

I think cycling with no resistance is fine, but just a few minutes at a time. Stop all other exercises for a while. Your knee gets enough mobility in just general moving around your house doing what you need to do.

Remember,

Regaining our ROM/strength is more about Time than repetitions of a list of exercises.

Time to recover.
Time for pain and swelling to settle.
Time to heal.

Our range of motion is right there all
along just waiting for that to happen so it can show itself.

In the general run of things, it doesn't need to be fought for, worked hard for or worried about. It will happen. Normal activity is the key to success.

 

[Jockette]

@Reader525 Here is another member who just posted, and I’m sharing his posts so you can see how he is at 4 months. He is not pain free. Both of you are having a “par for the course” recovery.

I'm almost four months out (Oct 24 will be about four months). My extension is at 0, flexion is 130 or 135 with manipulation. I'm still stiff, strength is improving, still sore and occasionally quite painful. I'm tolerating rolling over in bed better (was very painful to rest on my side).

The stiffness makes going down stairs difficult. I go back and forth with walking without perceptible limp, and walking similar to what it looked like before the operation.

 

[Reader525]

@Jockette This makes me feel so much better! Thank you for sharing that, it made a huge difference to me.

 

[Susie-Q]

Yes, most people have no idea what we are going through (except for here). I had a friend invite me to go to the Tacoma Dome Holiday Fair, something we've done in the past, for the weekend of Oct 23rd. Even with my disabled pass to park close, there's no way I could do all that walking!!! Another friend is trying to plan a birthday celebration for another friend that was going to include 2 wine tastings, dinner and then a movie on Friday. She tried to accommodate me by going to a theater with reclining seats but I had to politely tell her there's no way I could do that much activity in one day. I could do the wine tasting and maybe dinner but not the movie. Then it turns out she wanted to go see the new James Bond movie that's THREE HOURS long. No way!

Even my husband, who is very helpful and has had an ACL repair himself many years ago, when I complained about being so tired all the time, he said, "maybe you need to do more exercises". Really???? Um no. I have learned to take lots of breaks and to pace myself. I do feel that nagging guilt in the back of my head sometimes when I don't do a second repetition of my exercises or if I feel I'm not doing enough around the house and I quickly tell myself no, you are doing what's best for your knee. There's plenty of time to do more later. I realize it's still early days for me and you are further along in the process and most likely feeling like you should be doing more but I think your body is responding to that "doing more" by complaining. It's asking for you to slow down. Try it and see what happens! Good luck and we are here for you!

 

[Jockette]

Even my husband, who is very helpful and has had an ACL repair himself many years ago, when I complained about being so tired all the time, he said, "maybe you need to do more exercises". Really???? Um no.

This seems to be the standard response we get and it happens way too often. So many people believe exercises are the magic cure for this recovery.

 

[Reader525]

@Susie-Q @Jockette Im so grateful I have you and BoneSmart to talk to. Without your support, I can't imagine the despair I would be in. You do a real service to all of us.

 

[Reader525]

I don't think I've read anyone asking this, and I would so appreciate hearing what all of you have to say...

I am definitely down in the dumps, my entire life has changed, from my activities, to my abilities and possibilities. I am feeling a bit diminished and can feel myself floundering. A big part of it is the inability of most everyone I've talked to to have any idea what I am going through. I've had someone in the medical field say I would feel better if I just pushed through the pain and got on with it. I imagine this is a little bit like what people who have a chronic illness feel like.

So...my question is what has helped you cope with the emotional part of this recovery? Are there any books you suggest that have helped you? I would love to try to get a handle on this.

Thank you, my fellow survivors!

 

[Jaycey]

Now you have highlighted one of the main reasons our members keep coming back here. No one understands this recovery except someone who has gone through it. Yes, friends and relations try to understand - but they just can't.

Please know that all this is temporary. I know it seems like you will never see "normal" again. But you will! Keep babying that new knee. No, do not push through anything - totally counterproductive.

Keep sharing your concerns and frustration here. We all totally get it!

 

[Jockette]

As Jaycey said, this recovery related depression is temporary.
Here’s an article from our Recovery Guidelines:

Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it

Post op blues is feeling depressed, weepy, nervy, shaky, fearful of the future, anxious, overwhelmed by what is happening to you, convinced it's never going to get any better and finally, uttering that most intense of all cries "I wish I never had this done!" It arises out of a variety of...

bonesmart.org

And here is a thread in the hip forum, and has some more recent posts, if you skip towards the end.

Depression/post-op blues - open for all

It's a known fact that even people with no previous history of depression can succumb to depression - often also called Post op blues. It's nasty when it hits but happily, for most it is only short lived. There are several reasons for it 1. just the emotional, physical and psychological impact...

bonesmart.org

 

[Reader525]

@Jockette Wow! I read some of the posts from people in 2016 and I can see I'm not the only one. I am not sure I actually acknowledged the way I was feeling until this week. I just kept pushing, pushing, pushing it away. My feelings were trying to be accepted but I wouldn't "give in". I think I should put on an act of capability and strength, but it's becoming impossible.

My husband is a stiff-upper-lipper, doesn't believe in being emotional or "weak", so I am unable to express myself to him. He really isn't going to change, so I accept it. If I mention being depressed by my fatigue, pain or inability to walk without a limp, he says I should see a psychiatrist.
And by the way, I did talk to one, who I see from time to time, and he is not really understanding of what I'm feeling either! I tried to explain the "impotence" I'm feeling and he didn't say anything. Frustrating!!!

 

[Jockette]

I’m not sure that I felt especially depressed, early in my recovery, it was more anger. Anger that I had invited this surgery. Anger that nobody prepared me for how hard and painful it would be. Anger that I was constantly told to do my exercises, by everyone. Anger that my PT tricked me twice and caused me great additional pain. Anger that my surgeon forced my knee at every check up to get a number he was happy with.

Yes, I was pretty angry, and I admit I now have a fair amount of PTSD from this whole experience.

Most of that anger has settled down, but it’s been over 4 years, so time does have a way of mellowing us.

Thankfully I found Bonesmart when I was 4 weeks post op. However, I didn’t have the nerve to actually join until I was 6 months post op, so I missed out on real time personal support when I really needed it, but I did read here all those months.

It’s just so different here on Bonesmart. No one, that I saw in person, whether they‘d had a TKR or not, told me to just relax, listen to my body, let it heal, give the knee movement, but don’t push to pain. No one out there seemed to believe that.

Most people I saw in person made me feel like a failure, because they didn’t think I was healing, and that it was my fault. It was a very difficult time.

My husband was great, very kind, understanding and helpful, as he watched me struggle with this recovery, though he did believe the list of exercises was important. He was very skeptical when I cut back on them as I continued to have a lot of pain and limitations. We had many discussions about that aspect, and I don’t think I ever changed his mind. Add that to the fact that my particular partial has not been successful, and he probably always thought that was part of it. He was a great guy, but he wasn’t perfect. (no one is!) But, we were perfect for each other. (That has become a mantra for me the last 16 months!)

All this to say, you are definitely not alone in this, we here understand, and we are here for you.